Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 belongs to Square-Enix…unless I become President of the company one day (grins).

…

Where Do Babies Come From?

By Charles Xavier

…

"Mommy…where do babies come from?" their daughter said across the dinner table.

Yuffie choked on her glass of water while Vincent dropped his chopsticks. Who'd have thought their own child, merely five years old, would be asking such a funny question in the Kisaragi household? The curious girl looked at her startled parents with her mother's eyes, waiting for their answer.

"Well, dear." Yuffie cleared her throat. "That's…a very interesting question, especially when you're asking your mommy and daddy at this time over a meal."

Vincent was starting to feel the goose bumps behind his neck, which wasn't a very good sign. Yet he remained silent to allow Yuffie to explain their daughter's query as appropriately as possible…without revealing TOO much away.

"It all started when your mommy and daddy first met with Uncle Cloud. Back then, your mommy was a very naughty girl, always stealing stuff behind her friends' backs. It was fun…for a while. Then came your daddy, who was a very unhappy bunny."

"Why…?" their daughter asked.

"Um…that's another story, dear. But anyway, your mommy and daddy didn't get along too well at first. In fact, we hardly spoke much to each other. Your mommy was always poking fun at your daddy, which didn't please him very much. Sometimes, he'd even point his gun at your mommy when he was tired…"

"Yuffie…" Vincent mumbled.

"But of course, I was a thief to steal his ammo without him knowing. He was so serious with me those days."

"Mommy," their daughter said. "you still haven't told me where babies come from."

Vincent and Yuffie began to sweat drop at this point.

"Well…" Yuffie was fiddling with her fingers, unsure of how to explain further to their daughter. "…your mommy and daddy had a lot of fun with Uncle Cloud and his friends. But all through that same time, we were beginning to form our own special relationship…we eventually got to understand each other a little better than before…and once the time came…we decided to share some…personal adventures."

"Like Materia hunting?" their daughter burst out.

Vincent was turning red with embarrassment.

"Um…yes. You could probably put it that way." Yuffie replied, grinning sheepishly. "In a few months time, before we knew it, your mommy realized that she was suddenly gaining a little weight. This frightened your daddy quite a bit. But all seemed to work out fine in the end for the both of us, and well…that's when you came."

"How…?" their daughter asked puzzled.

('Oh, gawd!')

Yuffie was turning red with embarrassment now.

"You see, dear…when your mommy and daddy loved each other so much…they…um, Vincent? Would you care to explain for us?"

"I have nothing to discuss on this matter." he said, turning his back and throwing his shredded cape over his head. He couldn't listen to any more.

"Please tell me, mommy!" their daughter demanded, jumping up and down on her seat with sheer excitement. "Please tell me!"

"Well, for some time, you were once inside your mommy's belly and…" Yuffie was finding this inevitable conversation more difficult to continue. But their daughter wouldn't stop hammering them with more questions…

"How did I get inside your belly, mommy?" she had to ask. "And how did I get out? Was it hard? Did it hurt?"

That was it. This talk had gone far enough for their daughter's ears. Hence without warning, Yuffie whipped out her Materia, shouting out:

"SLEEP!"

Their daughter felt drowsy. Giving a loud gaping yawn, she silently shut her eyes to fall into wherever Dreamland would take her. And in no time, she was fast asleep, much to her parents' greatest relief.

"Phew! That was close!" Yuffie sighed. "Hey, Vincent…" she grinned sinfully, looking over at him. "What say we go for some Materia hunting tonight, huh?"

"Um…" Vincent wasn't feeling certain if tonight would be the best time. "…Yuffie, maybe we're better off putting our daughter to…"

"SLEEP!"

Yuffie cast her sleeping spell on Vincent, dragging him off into the bedroom.

"I still love doing this…nyuk, nyuk!"