Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Harry Potter or The Office; I'm simply an obsessed fanfic writer.
The Consequences of a Cancalled Comradery Event
Michael Scott wore a disappointed expression on his face. He called his employees into the conference room, where fifteen chairs had been set up in a circle. Michael solemnly motioned for them to sit down.
"Attention everyone," he addressed them gravely, "I have some bad news, some very sad news."
"Who died?" Meredith interrupted, wanting him to get to the point.
Michael looked surprised, "What makes you think a life has ended, Meredith?"
"You haven't been this upset since Ed Truck died," she replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh," Michael replied, "Well, nobody died. It's just...Ryan cancelled our annual comradery event. He said it was 'pointless' and 'a waste of money'."
Dwight let out a shocked "what!", while Andy looked forlorn. The rest of the staff looked rather relieved.
"But," Michael brightened up; he obviously had something up his sleeve, "Since the Disneyland trip I had planned was canceled, we are going to play finish the story!"
Andy and Dwight looked excited. Karen muttered something about needing to transfer to another branch.
"Alright," Michael said jollily, obviously oblivious to Karen's words, "Let me explain the rules of finish the story."
Just then, Michael's cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. "Jan," he whispered, looking nervous, "Sorry guys, I have to take this."
"Yes," Karen told the camera angrily, "I want to transfer out of this circus. Between Jim and Pam and their annoying flirtations – must they flaunt their relationship in my face? – and Michael's antics...I need to get out of here, transfer to another branch...any other branch."
"Hello...what's wrong? Jan, Jan, calm down...ok, I'll be right there," Michael sighed, "Emergency back at the condo...sorry, I have to go. I am leaving this game in Jim's capable hands."
Michael made his unceremonious exit.
"So," Jim addressed his fellow employees and friends once Michael had left, "Does everybody know how to play finish the story?"
There were nods all around the circle.
"Alright then," Jim continued, "Phyllis, you can start."
Phyllis smiled, "Once upon a time, there were two people who were madly in love."
"Insufficient information," Dwight objected as soon as the words had left Phyllis' mouth, "What were their names?"
Phyllis thought for a moment, "Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall."
"No!" Dwight objected again, "McGonagall and Dumbledore were not in love! JK Rowling said so herself; I quote 'No! Not everyone falls in love!'"
"Chill Dwight," Andy told him, resulting in a glare from Angela, "It is not your turn."
"Yes," Phyllis told the camera, "I am a big McGonagall/Dumbledore shipper...have you read the fanfiction?"
"Oscar can go next," Phyllis said.
"Well, Albus knew that he loved Minerva, and he thought Minerva loved him, too, so he asked her to dinner," Oscar replied in his usual calm manner, "Jim's turn."
"They went to The Three Broomsticks; he had a butter beer and she had a glass of red wine," Jim sounded as if he was basing his part of the story from a special night of his own life, "Then he told her that he had always loved her. Pam's turn."
"She said that she had always loved him and always would," Pam continued the story with a slight smile, "She was just sorry that it had taken them so long to come to this. Uh, Toby."
Toby thought for a second, "It was the first of many wonderful times spent together. Karen."
Karen glared at no one in particular, "Not all evenings were stuffed with declarations of love and red wine. In fact, Minerva wasn't so crazy about old Dumbledore after all, she was pining after a certain Severus –"
"NO!" Dwight interrupted angrily, "McGonagall in love with Snape is even crazier than McGonagall in love with Dumbledore! I'll continue. Not all evenings were filled with declarations of love and red wine. Like any other couple, McGonagall and Dumbledore fought, but they always made up. Angela's turn."
"Since they loved each other," Angela said, "Albus and Minerva decided to stop living in sin and get married. Kelly, you may continue."
"Minerva got a really cute wedding dress," Kelly continued enthusiastically, "It was adorable, but not to provocative, because she was pretty old, after all. She wore her hair down and it looked really nice. And Albus looked totally hot in his tux. Kevin!"
"They had a lot of food at the wedding reception. There was a cake with vanilla frosting and sixty-nine lemon drops on it. The lemon drops formed a heart shape. Then, after the reception," Kevin paused gleefully, "They had sex. Meredith's turn."
Meredith grinned, "Jim, does this story have to be G-rated?"
"Yes."
Kevin looked disappointed.
"They had a good time after the wedding reception. When their honeymoon ended – they spend it in Scotland – they went back to," Meredith paused, trying to remember of the name of the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, "Halloween town, or whatever the school was called."
"Hogwarts," Andy piped up, "After they went back, Dumbledore defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Then he and Minerva decided to adopt Harry Potter, so he wouldn't have to live with the Fursleys anymore."
"The Dursleys," Dwight corrected smugly.
"Creed's turn," Andy continued, ignoring Dwight.
"Dumbledore freed all the house elves," Creed stated matter-of-factly, "Stanley, finish the story."
Stanley sighed, "Even though Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall had more kids than they could afford, jobs that paid far too little money, and no pretzel days whatsoever, they managed to live happily ever after. Now can I get back to work?"
