The Melancholy of Kratos
By MagicMango
Arthur's Note: Right, so some of you may have noticed the sudden change in the title of this fic. Well, seeing as how I had a small number of hits for this fic, I theorized that the title must not have been very attractive. Therefore, it has been changed in hope so of luring innocent readers into reading my garbage. :D
Forced Disclaimer Thing: I don't own Tales of Symphonia, any of the characters or any of it's trademarks.
And so, here I was standing outside the Tower of Salvation. I watched some birds fly by, unfazed by the daunting tower that shot straight up into the sky. I was tempted to shout something like "Hey, I can fly too," but I realized that the birds wouldn't care either way. How dare they not acknowledge my abilities. I'll show them.
"Judgment."
The birds promptly exploded as beams of light engulfed them. Ha. I gazed triumphantly at my handiwork.
"Did the birds insult you again, Kratos?" This unmistakably annoying voice could only belong to a certain blue haired loser. Let me explain who this man (or should I say HALF-ELF FREAK) was. Yuan was certainly a queer one. He was probably the most indecisive person you'll ever meet, deciding to kill you one day, while wanting to be playmates the next. I wanted to smack him. I would never do such a thing! However, I decided to act cool and remain where I was standing, not even bothering to turn around and look at him.
"Hmph. They started it." I looked at my sword. It was so pointy and flaming. Plus it was so much deadlier those stupid electric balls that Yuan shoots from his palms. I mean, which game does he think we're in? Street Fighter? As I pondered this thought, a voice came from within the tower.
"Hey guys!" The voice belonged to Lord Yggdrasil. Why do I call him Lord Yggdrasil anyway? I'm older than him. Shouldn't I get more respect? Hmm. After much internal debate, I decided to add this to my 'List of Things to Ponder While I Drift on Derris-Kharlan after Lloyd kills -Mithos-, not Lord Yggdrasil Since I'm Older than Him and I Shouldn't Have to Call Him Lord Yggdrasil Anyway.' He sure looked awfully excited today. Even more so than he was doing those unmentionable things to Genis while the young mage was asleep.
"Well guys, I've thought of a new plan to kill Lloyd's group once and for all!" He smirked an evil smirk. I sighed. Doesn't this guy know that Lloyd's group can buy Life Bottles for only 300 Gald a pop? And besides, Lloyd's group has Frank on their side. That guy can fully heal them just by looking at them, without the use of any mana or items. How the hell does Mithos plan to kill them when they have the Chosen's dad? Apparently unable to read my thoughts, Mithos continued on with his plan. "I'll lure them to this here tower. When I give the signal, Yuan, sneak up from behind them and pretend to be Noishe. I'm sure they won't be able to tell the difference, since both of you are some shade of blue. Once you've gained their trust, steal Colette and then I will transfer Martel's soul into her body."
He continued to smile. He sure did have a creepy smile. As I continued to examine his fear-inducing grin, I noticed that it had gotten awfully silent. Silence is uncomfortable.
It scares me.
Yes, Kratos, it scares me too.
Well, Kratos, I'm glad we agree on-
"Who are you talking to?" Yuan gave me a strange look. He was undoubtedly awed by my beauty.
"What? I didn't say anything." Well, as I was saying Kratos-
"There you did it again. Why are you referring to yourself in third person?" He brushed his hair back in attempt to look hot. As if it mattered when I'm nearby.
"What do you mean 'as if it mattered?!' A-and I'm not trying to look hot!" Oh dear, did I say those things out loud?
"Yes," replied Mithos. "It's Lord Yggdrasil."
Hmm, I think I should stop thinking now.
"Probably."
…
…
…
This is boring.
Perhaps I should ditch these guys. Yes, I shall. I waited for the opportune moment to suddenly run away from Mr. Bluehead and the little blonde fairy. Oh scratch that. Mithos already left the scene. So that left Yuan. Luckily, he was one that could be easily tricked. I think I'll pretend to be Dirk, shocking him long enough to make my escape.
However, before I could do execute my ingenious plan, I noticed a large net had been cast over my body. Oh no, I've been captured! I think I'll inform Yuan.
"Oh no, I've been captured!" I exclaimed. To my horror, my trapper was none other than Yuan himself. Even under the glare of the sun, I could never mistake the freakish glow of his hair and the smell of his man-perfume. Without even saying sorry, Yuan picked me up and loaded me onto a Rheiard. The explosive light that reflected off his hair knocked me out.
When I awoke, it was already dark. Yuan was nowhere to be found. In his place, there were a bunch of Renegades. Ha! I could take them down easily. I reached to my left side, so I could draw my awesome blade of destructive awesomeness. Let's go Flamber-
What?
Where's Flammy?
My jaw dropped in horror in a very cliché manner as I realized that I was without my sword. Wait, I'm too cool to be cliché. I gritted my teeth. That bastard took away my only comfort in life, while making me do something completely clichéd. My life was meaningless. I decided to give up and do whatever I was told.
As I sulked in the back, a door opened from the side of a cliff. Hey look, it's Lloyd! It was a golden opportunity. I bet he'll lend me one of his swords. I mean, he does have two, after all. Yet, before I got a chance to ask him, he began to speak.
"…Kratos! The Renegades and Cruxis are enemies, aren't they?! So why?…" Beats me. I just got carried here in a net.
"Quiet. …Of course, the drug should have everyone sleeping soundly," replied Yuan. Where does he get the funding for this kind of stuff? I'd sure love to know. He doesn't even have a real job. I mean, I can make a couple gald as a mercenary, but he just sits there all day. Does he have some secret man-renegade-hooker service operating behind our backs.
"Drug?! …Where's my dad? If you've done anything to my dad, I'll tear every last one of you to pieces!" Let me help! As long as you lend me one of your swords. You see, mine is missing and-
"Now, now, is that the way to act when you're about to meet your father for the first time?" I suddenly realized I never told anyone that Yuan tried to kill me before. Maybe if I share this secret with Lloyd, he'll give me a sword.
"So it was you. You were the assassin who tried to kill me at Hima." Tried, and FAILED. What a loser.
"Kratos. If you value your son's life at all, do as we say." Wait, are you going to kill Lloyd? Hold on, I want his swords.
"What are you…talking about?" Oh right, I didn't tell him. My bad.
"Release Origin's seal. Otherwise, Lloyd will die right here." I should do that. That guy has four huge sword things.
"No…Kratos can't be my dad. I c…I can't believe that… I won't believe that!" Hey, that hurt my feelings.
"How does it feel to have your own son reject you like that?" I already said it hurt my feelings. Well, I didn't really say it. More, like, thought it loudly. A random sneeze overtook me.
"Humph," sneezed I.
"…I'd guess from your attitude, you don't plan on releasing Origin…" He sneered at me. "If that's the way it's going to be, then you'll just have to die!" Argh, not death! I watched helplessly as one of Yuan's bitches drew a sword and pointed it at Lloyd. Lloyd grunted like a little girl.
Jeez Lloyd, I thought I taught you how to grunt like a man.
Yuan's manservant then spoke up.
"One move and your son dies." Wait, I thought you were going to kill me. God, Yuan, can't you even follow your own directions. Suddenly, the said metrosexual spoke up.
"You changed once you got a family." Well, you're just jealous since your fiancé died. "Just like that time fifteen years ago. When Anna was transformed into a monster, you lost your ability to fight back." Well, duh, I dropped my sword. How do you expect me to fight without my sword? Speaking of which, mine is still missing. Now Lloyd would you please-
"What?!" exclaimed the pseudodwarf . Lloyd looked surprised. Whoops, I forgot to tell him that too. It was on my 'To-do list'.
"If she hadn't been together with you, she would have never turned out like that. Such an unfortunate woman," replied Yuan, smirking a little. Hey, your lover died too.
"Don't mock my mom!" Lloyd drew his sword. The sight of it was so beautiful. How I wished I had my sword with me. Wait a second… Yuan couldn't have taken away my sword! It's not possible to unequip a weapon in this game! Even if he took away Flamberge, I'd still have to have some other weapon equipped. I grinned at myself. After carefully examining myself for a couple of minutes, I found my sword sheathed on my right side. My precious.
Before I could celebrate, Yuan began shooting his stupid electric things at Lloyd. As a dad, I couldn't possibly let my son die to someone so lame! Yes, he'd definitely have to die to someone way cooler. I took action and sprang in front of the ball, knocking it away with my sword.
"…Kratos?" Lloyd looked worried. He sure looked cute when he was worried. I savored the image of his face, slowly stripping off his clothes in my mind. I pictured us lying together in a-
Ahem. I looked at my sword. Oh no, it got scratched!
"…Are you all right?" I examined Flamberge for further signs of damage. Luckily, there appeared to be none. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again. "…Good."
Right then, I decided to pretend to faint so I could see more of Lloyd's cute worried expression. As Lloyd randomly screamed, Colette appeared at the door. Aw lame, trying to steal Lloyd's affections from me. Good thing I made sure Lloyd answered all her skit questions negatively. But still, just the sight of her sickens me. I guess I'll knock myself out for real now.
…
Yeah, so that's it I guess.
ALL DONE:D
I may continue if there's enough support for a next chapter.