Disclaimer: All characters owned by the BBC and Tiger Aspect Productions.
Author Notes: Set after the events of the series 1 finale episode 'A Clue: No.' My interpretation of how Robin and Marian's relationship is changed by that day. Originally posted as the robinhoodbbc lj comm. All feedback welcome!
IT WILL BE WONDERFULRobin was at her window again. Marian knew the noise well; she had long ago become accustomed to the sound of him scrambling up the side of Knighton Hall before appearing at her window with a familiar cheeky smile.
Marian found herself smiling as she finished fastening the sash of her simple blue gown. She had been secretly hoping that she would see Robin before the day was over. Some veil had dropped between them today and things had changed too much for them to go back to how they stubbornly were before. Her feelings for him, that she had kept so carefully hidden, felt raw and exposed after her near-death experience, her almost-wedding, and Robin's tears. They had almost lost each other permanently and that had put things into perspective.
After everything that had happened, Marian felt more alive and a little giddy if she was honest, like some part of her long closed-off had been opened up again. Robin had done that.
She turned to the window with a welcoming smile.
"Robin, I believe my father would not object if you came through the front door tonight," she said, eyebrow raised.
"And risk being seen by one of the Sheriff's men? I think not, my lady," Robin replied as he clambered into her room without an invitation. "How are you both after this day's events?"
"Alive and unmarried, both things that I must thank you for," Marian looked him in the eye as she spoke, willing him to see that she did not want her remarks to be met with his usual jokes or teasing. It was important to her that he knew how much what he had done meant to her. They had gone a long way towards bridging the gap that had been so wide between them. "Although I believe Much must take most of the credit for the last part. He deserves both of our thanks for that."
"Yes, he does," Robin paused and stepped closer. "He did what I could not, and I am sorry for that. I thought…….." Robin's words died as he fixed his gaze on Marian's face, so open to him now. "I thought that there was no hope left."
"So did I, but Much had more belief than both of us," Marian remembered Much's desperation, his shouted words, and Gisborne's reaction. Truly if it hadn't been for Much shaking some truth from Gisborne and opening her eyes, she could be the Lady Gisborne by now. Now that she thought about it instead of packing it away into the back of her mind, it was a sickening thought. She could not resist voicing the worries that had been whispered to her since running from the church. "However good this day has been to us all, it is not over. My father and I, we are in more danger now that I have refused Gisborne. The Sheriff may find some way to have us arrested.
"I won't let that happen, Marian."
His hands were gently clasping her just below her shoulders, and at his touch Marian remembered what had happened between them that afternoon. The ride back to the castle with her arms wrapped tight around his waist, and the gentle, loving (yes, there was no other word for it) kiss they had shared before splitting up to save her father. After that, she had only seen him briefly before now. They hadn't discussed the kiss; it had happened and lay between them unspoken. Its effect could clearly be felt however by them both. One of Robin's hands slid up to cradle her face, and when she looked into his eyes she was surprised to see a great tenderness there without a touch of the arrogance she was used to seeing.
"Marian, I……"
A knock at the door halted Robin's words, and Marian could not help feeling frustrated. She and Robin were walking into an unknown territory together that both unnerved and excited her, and she wasn't entirely sure what was going to happen, but she knew that she wanted to find out. She felt slightly giddy, as though her world had shifted. Her day had forced her to realise that life truly was too short for games and distance when feelings were clear.
Then the door opened and her father walked in, causing Marian to take a step out of Robin's grasp, and for all thoughts of their growing relationship to flee her mind. The outlaw himself too reacted, reluctantly dropping his hands to his sides. Sir Edward looked a little taken aback, but his expression quickly changed into a sincere smile instead. As she straightened her posture, Marian wondered what it was that caused that expression on her father's face. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him smile like that.
"I thought I heard your voice, Robin," Sir Edward said, coming further into the room and closing the door behind him. "You are more than welcome here tonight after what you have done for us both today. Marian tells me I owe Much a great deal of thanks also, please make sure he hears of it."
"I will, Sir Edward," Robin replied with a smile. "I know Much did what he had to do. I am only sorry that I was not able to stop the wedding myself sooner, only your daughter made it clear that I was not to interfere."
Marian turned her head to glare at him, seeing the mirth in his eyes at getting such a reaction from her. Some things never did change it seemed, he was still infuriating. But there was something else there too, a sort of softness to his expression rather than the challenge and cocky arrogance she had grown so used to seeing. He had used it as a barrier between them before, but now, although he was still teasing her as he always had done, she could feel that he wasn't pushing her away or trying to cut into her. Now there was no hiding the love in his eyes. Something really had changed between them. She felt her anger cool somewhat and settled for arching her eyebrows.
"I did what I had to do, for everyone" she lightly reprimanded him.
"I still wish you hadn't, my dear," Sir Edward moved forwards to grasp her hands suddenly, an intent expression on his face that captured all of Marian's attention. "I know you did it to protect me, and I am grateful for that. But I did not wish to live knowing that you were chained to that man. I must ask you to promise to never bargain your life for mine in such a way again."
"Father, I can promise that I will not be marrying Sir Guy, now or anytime in the future" Marian smiled a little. "His word would not have kept us safe from the Sheriff."
Robin snorted a little at this and he stepped forward to become part of the conversation.
"I have been telling you this since you accepted his proposal," he reminded Marian with an expected amount of smugness. "Sir Guy is not to be trusted."
Deciding not to give Robin the satisfaction of hearing her say that he was right, Marian turned her gaze back to her father. He was looking at her and Robin with what could only be called a fond look on his face. But as Marian smiled back, she was suddenly aware of how old her father looked, and how gnarled with the weariness he constantly struggled under. If she was painfully honest with herself, she knew that he did not have too long left in this world, and seeing him so weighed down now made her freshly determined to see that he was safe during the time he had.
"Marian," her father used the tone of voice that he had always used to call her out of her thoughts when she was a little girl. It was the voice that reminded her that she was his daughter. It remained effective. "Do not look at me like that. It is not for you to worry about me so; I am the one to worry about you since you have chosen such a dangerous path. However long I have left here, I am glad that I will not live it with Sir Guy as my son-in-law. For that, I am grateful."
Marian pressed her lips together, reminded by her father's words of a truth she spent so much time trying to prevent. He would soon die and leave her as her mother had done. She would not be able protect him forever and more suitors like Sir Guy would come with proposals to 'help' her and her father. At times she wondered if she would give in again when she was tired of resisting, that perhaps that was better than dying alone.
Then a hand pressed her shoulder, and she turned slightly to see Robin had stepped even closer with a serious look on his face. He stood shoulder to shoulder with her.
"You aren't alone in this anymore, Marian," Robin smiled as he gazed at her, seeming to be able to catch her thoughts by her expression. "Besides, if others like Gisborne offer proposals I believe there is another option for you to take."
Marian was about to ask what other options she had, and why he had kept them from her, when Robin transferred his attention to Sir Edward.
"I am glad that we were able to get to you in time, Sir Edward. I am sorry we weren't there sooner. When the real King returns, the Sheriff will pay for what he has done today."
"Indeed, so we must hope and pray for the King's return," Sir Edward sighed. "I know it is foolish to ask either of you to find a way to fight the Sheriff which involves less law-breaking, so I will ask instead that you be careful and watchful. You both mean a lot to me."
At Robin's genuinely surprised and pleased-looking smile, Marian couldn't help smiling too. Her father stood back, allowing the silence to stretch a little as he gazed at the pair in front of him. What was it he saw, Marian wondered again, that made that fond expression appear on his face when he looked at them? It reminded her of the times when she was a little girl that her father would catch her sitting with Robin, listening to one of his fantastical plans for tomorrow or further into the future. Her father had often looked at them in the same way that he was doing now and she wondered if he too was remembering something from the past. Then he seemed to notice that he was staring and looked a little embarrassed.
"Yes, well…..thank you, Robin. I will leave you now with Marian, I am sure you have much to talk about. Please stay for as long as you…...as you need to," he made a hurried farewell gesture. "Be careful when you leave the house, I am sure the Sheriff's men will be watching here tonight."
After Sir Edward's quick exit, Robin turned to Marian with some amusement.
"Did…..did your father just give us his blessing?!" he asked, a smile curving his lips.
"I don't know," murmured Marian.
Her gaze was fixed on the closed door, confusion scrambling her thoughts as she grasped for answers. Ever since Robin had been outlawed, her father had been constantly telling her to be careful about contact with him and to make sure that they played by the Sheriff's rules in order to keep themselves safe. It was something she had taken to heart to the disastrous point where she had almost married Sir Guy. Perhaps that had changed her father's view. Did he approve of whatever was growing between herself and Robin? It was a little too overwhelming to contemplate. Robin was happy to do that for her though.
"What did that mean?" Robin seemed delighted. "He was encouraging us, Marian. It appears your father is trying to match make us!"
Unperturbed by how Marian rolled her eyes at him and laughed, Robin moved closer. The confidence that Marian always associated with him seemed to be back in abundance.
"It would not do to disobey him, especially since I appear to be in his good graces. We should take advantage of this," Robin continued, touching her chin briefly. "What do you say?"
"I say that we have things to discuss first," Marian replied, catching hold of his fingers as they reached to cup her chin and distract her. "What is this other option that you spoke about and why did you keep it from me?"
"I did not keep it from you, you were set upon marrying Gisborne, remember? You accepted his proposal and you made it very clear that you thought it was the only way. I couldn't change your mind." Robin looked and sounded a little sulky.
"I thought there was nothing else I could do."
Marian's voice was quiet and Robin sighed, moving to sit down on her bed. He extended his arm towards her, an unspoken request for her company. He looked exhausted, Marian realised as she sat down next to him. It had been a long day for him as well. Marian wondered suddenly how she would feel if Robin was to marry someone else and there was nothing she could do to stop it. A pain tightened in her stomach.
"There is always a choice, do you remember your own words to me? I believe that now," Robin smiled as he spoke. "Don't think that I am telling you what to do. But I think that we should be fighting side-by-side, Marian, we have the same enemy. I feel like today things became open and clearer between us. Please, do not shut me out of your life again."
The pleading in his voice touched Marian's heart. The Robin she knew would never beg or plead, surely believing that he alone was enough to defeat the Sheriff and his associates. But Robin had a gang now, talented friends that he was learning to rely on. He had moved on in a way that Marian herself had not, and it had made him stronger and the threat against the Sheriff more powerful. Fighting alone had been the only option she had had, and it had proved effective. But now there were others looking out for the people of Nottinghamshire and Marian knew after today that she could drown trying to face the world alone.
"We shut each other out when we should have fought together," she murmured, remembering so many arguments. "We will now, but I will be the Night Watchman, not Marian Fitzwater. I will not give the Sheriff a solid reason to take my father away or what is left of our lands."
"Of course, what would Nottinghamshire be without its Night Watchman? The Sheriff will not stand a chance against us."
Marian felt Robin press a kiss to her forehead and the butterflies in her stomach responded immediately. She fought back the familiar urge to cage and mentally deny such a reaction. She and Robin may not have said the exact words to each other, but the words they had said during what they'd thought were her dying moments had revealed their true feelings. There was no hiding any more. Now Robin had that dangerously intense look in his eyes that always made Marian instantly worry about just what he was planning. She wondered if this option he had thought of was actually going to be useful at all.
"So what is this option you believe I have?" she asked lightly.
"Honestly, I could think of only one that would keep both you and Sir Edward safe from the Sheriff," admitted Robin. "Should a situation like this arise again, you should agree to the marriage, but then disappear before the wedding."
"And where would you have me disappear to?"
"To Sherwood."
From the expression on Robin's face, Marian could see that he was serious. How could he believe that this was a sound plan? It was little wonder that his friends were so often arguing with him.
"Robin, my father and I cannot live in Sherwood Forest! It would be one of the first places that the Sheriff would look."
"I was not planning on allowing your father to live there. You have relatives in Lincoln, don't you? He could find sanctuary there until the Sheriff has been deposed. You could stay, and help us fight. You could be the Night Watchman full time and make the difference that you keep saying you want to make more of. It would be wonderful."
Robin's eyes danced as he smiled at her, evidently pleased with his plan. For a few precious moments, Marian was overtaken by his vision of a possible future. Living in Sherwood Forest would be uncomfortable and rife with unpleasantness; she knew that from her frequent trips into its depths and from the complaints she often heard from the outlaws (especially Much) whenever they met. But she would be helping people much more than she was now, no longer having to be publicly aligned with the Sheriff, and she would be closer to Robin.
There would be no walls between them and no excuses anymore after today. Her father would be both well-cared for and well looked after in Lincoln. It was a tantalising future that Marian could admit to herself that she was attracted to, and from Robin's smile, he could read that much from her. But the thought of her father dragged her heart back and she sighed.
"It would be wonderful," she admitted outloud, surprisingly both herself and Robin by actually saying the words. "But my father, Robin, I cannot assume that our relatives in Lincoln would gladly take him in, knowing he was a wanted man. It is too big a risk."
"Marian, I would make sure that he was in a place of safety with trusted people if it ever came to this. There would be no need to worry," Robin paused. "Your father is growing older, Marian."
"Robin, don't…"
"I know it's a painful subject, Marian, but we have to face it. Don't you see? After all that's happened today, we have to face the fact that your father will not always be around. You will not be able to keep him safe forever no matter how many men you marry."
Marian's face hardened and she resisted the strong urge to pitch Robin out of the window. She knew that he was right, but there were less painful ways to word the truth, something Robin rarely seemed to realise.
"Your father is growing older, Marian, and one day, maybe sooner than you are ready for, he will die," Marian squeezed her eyes shut briefly, feeling as though her stomach had somehow dropped to her feet. Robin continued. "If this happens before King Richard, the real King Richard, returns, I want you to come and live with me in Sherwood. We will keep you safe until the King returns, and then maybe," here he drew a deep breath. "I can fulfil a promise I made to you a long time ago."
Marian's gaze dropped as she felt his thumb stroking her left ring finger. Her heart tightened as she remembered her father telling her about his agreement at her birth with Robin's father that would go ahead if she was willing and her shy but sure answer. She had accepted again when Robin himself had asked her when they were older and aware of their feelings for each other. Part of her screamed to accept all the offers Robin had made to her tonight, but the other part, the part she had cultivated and lived by since Robin had left for the Crusades, sternly instructed her to hold back, to think things through carefully, and to be sure that Robin was not going to leave her again. The sensible side won.
"It's too soon for any more proposals, Robin," she said firmly, hastening on when she saw Robin's face fall a little. "But this is not a refusal, I need time. Too much has happened today for me to think of marriage again. However, should anything happen to my father before King Richard's return then I will go to Sherwood. I know I will be safe there. Thank you."
Her answer seemed to satisfy Robin because she was briefly aware of his wide beaming smile before he cupped her chin and pressed his lips to hers. Marian froze at the contact, startled at Robin's sudden action when there had been no warning. But his lips felt wonderful and a warm tingly sensation was working its way down her spine before reaching out through her entire body. A second later she responded, eagerly returning his kiss and slipping her arms around his neck. After the trying day she had lived through and felt as though she had emerged from a newer person, Marian was glad to share this with Robin. She could enjoy this kiss more, there was no urgent rescue that needed to be mounted, and the kiss was not being delivered at such an awkward angle. The butterflies in her stomach raged loudly, leaving Marian in no doubt about her love for this irritating and wonderful outlaw. Marian poured everything into the kiss; her anger at Gisborne, her love for Robin, her relief at her father's rescue. She was telling Robin everything she could about how she felt without having him answer back. It felt dizzying and exhilarating, like jumping from a great height. It felt beautiful.
When the kiss finally ended, Marian couldn't help smiling at the slightly dazed look on Robin's face. It was gratifying to know that she could set him off-balance. He evidently had not been expecting such a response.
"Do not tell me I have finally discovered a way to keep you quiet?" she teased.
Robin stared at her for a second before drawing her closer, his arms circling her waist and his eyes roving over her with wonder. To her horror, Marian realised she was blushing. She hoped with all her heart that Robin hadn't noticed; she could only imagine how much he would tease her. But he was looking at her in a way that made her feel as though she was only thing in the world that mattered. It was her, not her status or money, but her he saw and wanted. It was her he loved.
"I shall keep silent a great deal if you do that more often," Robin replied, raising his eyebrows to express his evidently lewd thoughts.
Marian smiled and shoved him lightly, but her mind had wandered a little when thinking of what mattered to Robin. There had been other things that had meant more to him than her before and had caused him to leave her, could it happen again? Robin was looking at her, concerned at her suddenly worried and distant expression.
"Marian? What's wrong?"
"Robin, you said that you could not bear for me to shut you out, for me to leave you for another. If we are to continue in this manner…."
"And what manner would that be, Lady Marian?" Robin interrupted with a smile.
"If we are to continue courting," Marian reworded, glaring at him to be serious. He had to know what a leap this would be for her. It was true there were no barriers between them anymore, but what she was about to say was something she had hidden deep within herself and talked to no one about. "I need you to know this. I cannot lose you either, not again. Say that we do have a life together, in Sherwood or in Loxley, what if King Richard asks you to go and fight in another war with him? What would you do then?"
"I would say that he will have to go without me," Robin said firmly without hesitation, his eyes locked on her. "I would not leave you for another war, Marian. I will not make that mistake again and risk losing you for a second time."
He stroked her cheek and smiled the gentlest smile she had ever seen on his face. Something hard and cold melted inside Marian's heart; something she had thought would never disappear after Robin had left her. She smiled back at him, and hoped that the tears in her eyes would go unnoticed. Robin leant in and kissed her softly.
"I know you want time to think about the promise I left you with so long ago," he continued, fingers digging into his pocket to retrieve something as he spoke. "But I have something to give you, and I want you to have it now."
Marian felt him press something small and smooth into her hand. She looked down to see a carved wooden ring, before lifting her gaze to Robin with a clear question in her eyes.
"I asked Will to make it some time ago. I was going to give it to you for a present on your birthday perhaps," Robin laughed ruefully. "But when it was finished, I knew it could not compete with Guy's gifts so I kept it. Now it seems like the time to give it to you. It isn't much, a token really, but it's a promise to you that I am staying in Sherwood, in Nottinghamshire, and I am not leaving again."
"It's beautiful," Marian said softly, turning the ring over in her hand. "Will carved it well," about to slip the ring onto her finger, she paused. "If I wear this, it does not mean yes, Robin. It does not bind me into any sort of arrangement or obedience to you. I cannot think about marriage after today. It will take time before I am ready again."
Robin nodded in understanding, took the ring from her, and slipped it onto her finger. It fit well, causing Marian to smile. Robin kept hold of her hand, admiring how the ring looked on her.
"With this ring, I make a promise to you, Marian," his gaze was intense and serious and full of love. "That I do love you, that I will not leave you again, and that I am here for you."
Stunned at his words, Marian swallowed a lump that threatened to rise in her throat, and nodded. Robin still managed to surprise her. His declarations, so naked and pure in their honesty and love, touched her deeply. They were the words she had wished to hear when news of the Crusades had first reached Nottinghamshire. Robin had chose differently then, but so much had changed since then, they all had.
"Thank you, Robin," she looked at their hands together and the ring on her finger. Images of another different life flashed through her head. "I am here for you," her hesitation was tiny as she drew in another breath. "And I love you too."
Robin wrapped her up into a hug, the atmosphere around them tightening. Marian had never thought that Robin could be so heartfelt and sure. She was used to seeing him as casual and foolhardy, leaping into dangerous situations without a backward glance. This was new, dangerous and slightly terrifying, but it was what she wanted and it was right.
"So, the truth at last," Robin laughed as they pulled apart. "It almost took death to get us here. I think Much will be so happy and relieved when he hears of this, that he may start to cry."
Marian laughed, slipping off the ring to inspect it again. Her father would probably take to his bed if he saw her wearing it.
"I will wear it on a cord around my neck," she said by way of explanation at Robin's questioning look.
"A fine idea, and highly decorative," Robin said, lying back on her bed with his hands behind his head. He looked extremely comfortable.
Marian watched him as he closed his eyes, before her gaze wandered to the window. It was becoming dark outside and after the events of the day, she was sure that the Sheriff would be sending his men to keep an eye on the Fitzwater's activities. She reached out and shook Robin hard by his nearest arm.
"It's late, Robin. You should leave in case the hall is being watched."
"I am sure it is. I knocked out a couple of guards in the grounds when I was on my way to scale the outside wall," Robin replied without opening his eyes. "There are probably more out there. I think I should stay here for the night."
"That is not going to happen," Marian said firmly. Her father would definitely take to his bed if it was discovered that Robin had stayed the night in her bedchamber.
"Would you have me caught by the Sheriff's men and dragged to Nottingham Castle?" Robin opened his eyes now and tutted irritatingly. "I am shocked, Marian, after all we've said to one another. The guards will return to the Sheriff in the morning to report what they saw, and I will go back to Sherwood where no guards will dare to venture."
"Robin, we are not married, we are not even engaged. We cannot spend the night together alone in this room. You would be out of my father's good graces if you were found here."
"I won't be found here," Robin grinned a very familiar grin at her. It automatically made Marian feel as though a headache might be approaching and punching Robin might aid its disappearance. "I will be gone before Sir Edward rises tomorrow morning. Do not worry, Marian, it will be fine and we will all be safe."
"This is a dangerous and foolish idea, Robin, and I am not entirely comfortable with……"
"Marian, it will be fine," Robin sat up and looked at her seriously. "Trust me?"
Marian sighed and shook her head. Only Robin could believe that those words would reassure her. Unfortunately, his plan did make sense.
"Now I know this will turn out to be a disaster," she commented, before starting to realise the implications of Robin's idea. "You are sleeping on the floor."
"On the floor?" Robin looked surprisingly horrified for someone who slept outside on the ground every night. "Surely not when there is a comfortable and warm bed available, with bed linen and pillows? Oh please, Marian…..?"
"I am not sleeping on the floor of my own bedchamber."
"Of course not! We'll share the bed."
"We will not!"
"We will, of course, be fully clothed," Robin smirked a little. "Really, Marian, your mind does go to some interesting places. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"
"Other than that I am thinking of returning your ring?"
Robin answered by pulling her down into his arms so that they lay beside each other on the bed. Marian shifted to make herself comfortable, resting so that her head was tucked under his chin and wrapped her arm over his chest. They fitted together well. It felt good. She could feel his heartbeat skittering fast under her fingers.
"So I hear that Gisborne was knocked down at his own wedding," Robin's voice was amused. "Would you know anything about that?"
"You helped me learn how to punch," Marian replied, lifting her head so that she could look at him. "He is not the first man who I have given a black eye to."
"No, but I expect he deserved it more than the others," Robin's voice was hard as he thought of Gisborne, but then he lifted Marian's hand and kissed it softly. "This feels right, Marian."
"Hiding in my bedchamber from both my father and the Sheriff's men?" Marian smiled with an eyebrow raised.
"You know what I mean!" Robin laughed. "This, being together, finally. I know I've said things and done things that annoy you….."
"That would be an understatement."
"Would you please let me finish?" Robin looked exasperated and Marian nodded. "After everything's that happened today, I am glad to be here with you. I did not think such a thing would ever happen. Thank you."
Marian smiled, leant down, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He'd sounded like a young boy again, just for a moment, like the boy she'd first fallen in love with all those summers ago. But he wasn't that boy anymore; he had grown into a man (although whether he had actually grown up was debatable). Man or boy, she carried a lot of love in her heart for him and was finally acknowledging and embracing those feelings because now she knew he would not push her away again.
"I am glad you are here too, Robin."
With a smile, he grasped her hand in his and kissed her temple. The pair settled back down, arranging themselves comfortably. As she felt herself drifting off, Marian thought that they should probably get under the bed clothes so that they would not wake up freezing cold, but her body betrayed her and her eyes closed. For the first time in many years, Marian knew peace as she slept.