Grandfather

The Grandfather's Paradox: If one were to go back in time, and kill one's own grandfather, how could one exist to go back in time in the first place?

Written by Dartz
Preread by Himonky.

I don't own Evangelion, someone else does.
Stuff might be mentioned that's copyright
I don't own it either
It's just a bit of fun anyway

I...I

By Shinji's standards, it had been an ordinary Wednesday, one among many for the fourteen year old boy. School had ended on a half day, as it always did. A sync test had been scheduled to fill the remaining three hours, as it always was.

He enjoyed sync tests.

It was strange really. He detested actually piloting the thing, but synchronisation was a different matter. For three hours, he could allow himself to drift away from the troubles of life. He could switch the world off and relax inside his own mind.

He never could explain why, he just felt at perfect ease sitting there, at the core of a monster that might've given Lovecraft nightmares.

The EVA was a warm duvet, the kind his mind just wanted to curl up into and use to block out the chill winter of reality. Of course, there was always something that had to drag him back, like a stray foot popping out from beneath the sheet.

This foot went by the name of Ritsuko Akagi, her voice crackling and fizzing through the intercom.

"Good work you three. Asuka, you scored a Seventy-Six, Shinji; Seventy-Two and Rei; Fifty-Two"

For an instant, he might've hated her for it.

"Roger," he answered meekly.

"Well Shinji, looks like you'll be playing backup for another week," Asuka voice buzzed in his ear like a mosquito.

"Yes Asuka," he sighed, blowing bubbles in the LCL a the plug system went dark.

And now for the part he hated. Wretching spent connect-liquid from his body was a fact of life, but a disgusting one. His belly and lungs were full of the bloody fluid, and all of it had to be drained, or he'd drown in open air.

Shinji was still dripping wet with the stuff, the sharp 'plip-plip' of the drips beating out his walking step. The teenager wasn't sure if it was by accident or design that they followed his natural cadence.

He pondered on that question for a moment, then hurried towards the communal changing room, though, him being the only male on the Piloting team, he pretty much had it to himself.

"Personnel in sections 31-Baker through 33-Golf please be advised the second circle route is out of commission due to vehicle accident. We apologise any inconvenience caused because of this."

Just another tannoy announcement, it wasn't anything that affected him anyway.

The voice seemed oddly distant from him somehow. Shinji didn't know how or why, it just seemed to be further away than it was. Maybe just a broken speaker, he theorised

He stopped, and listened harder.

Still, there were the drips from his body, tapping rhythmically against the concrete floor. Yet, they were dulled somehow, like there were pillows over his ears.

The air itself seemed heavy, somehow denser. His lungs heaved, yet, he still felt as if he was about to suffocate.

Slowly, he moved forward, reasoning that it would be best just to keep going. Still, something caused the skin on his back to prickle. It felt as if someone had unleashed a hundred thousand little ants beneath his skintight plugsuit, and he could feel each one of their legs stickling across his shoulders.

His gut clenched, an invisible hand wringing it dry like a dirty dishcloth. All the old LCL surged back into his mouth, a gurgling, chummy mixture of blood and rice.

A sudden chill overtook him, and the boy set of running, fear taking a resolute hold. He just ran. His mind raced with questions as he swallowed great gulps of leaden air. He was well past trying to figure out was happened, he just wanted a way out of it. The noise of world around him dropped away, swallowed by whatever great and evil beast was chasing him. The panicked youth was aware of his footsteps only from the brief shocks rising through his body.

His heartbeat pulsed in his ears, some great thunderous drumbeat pounding into his skull, the rhythm rising to a rolling crescendo that filled every hollow space in his frame with the same resonating frequency. His breath roared like a chorus of jet engines, a hundred 747's in his brain taking off at full throttle at the same time.

He stopped, the pressure closing in around him, crushing him, constricting him. The colours of the world washed out, fading to grey, then a deadly white, swallowed by the monster haunting him. It's hand gripped, a crushing death grip the squeezed the air like toothpaste from his lungs. He screamed, screwing his eyes shut and hoping that it would just end soon.

And then...

for an infinite moment...

nothing...

Before the world imploded...

and everything felt normal again.

Shinji was breathing, quivering, panicked breaths yes, but still, he was alive. It was more than he could possibly have hoped for.

Slowly, he cracked open his eyes, to be met by a curiously darkened corridor. The concrete walls had taken on a navy blue hue, lit only by light scatter from a single high intensity bulb some distance away.

It was far enough, that if he was casting a shadow, the child couldn't see it.

Terrified, Shinji glanced around him.

What just happened?

Angel?

"Why hasn't there been an alarm?"

Maybe the power could be out, damage to the system.

Then, wouldn't there be somebody running around with a loudspeaker, or some sort of activity.

What in the name of God was happening?

Shivering, yet his body was somehow burning hot, the boys gaze darted between a nondescript door beside him to his left, and some construction equipment left idle a few yards ahead.

There was nobody around.

He was alone.

A strobing flash of light caught his eye, the sweep of a nearby torch illuminating a short section of bare concrete for a millisecond.

Shinji could've almost jumped for joy, a cooling wave of relief crashing over him

Somebody was nearby. Somebody who could help him, somebody who could tell him what was going on.

"Hey!" he called out. "I'm here,"

He could hear footsteps, approaching quickly, the sharp 'clap-clap' of hard soled shoes approaching quickly. The light turned a corner ahead of him, dazzling Shinji for a moment.

"Who are you?" a voice attached to the light asked, it's tone mildly interrogative.

Shinji fought against the light, squinting to keep it from burning through his eyes. He blinked, trying to clear the upwelling of tears, trying to see more than just the harsh white splash hiding the person beyond.

Through tear blurred eyes, he could just about make out the silhouette of a man standing behind it.

"Ikari Shinji," he said.

He was answered by an angry growl.

"Say that again."

"Ikari Shinji," he repeated, a little confused.

"Okay kid, who are you really, and what the fuck are you doing down here?" the torch man spat.

It came like a verbal brick to the skull.

"What?" Shinji gasped.

What had he done to deserve that? Okay, he knew he probably did deserve it somehow, but still, he'd liked to have know why? Was it his own fault, what had just happened? Was he about to to be punished for it?

He definitely wasn't lying, though this person blasting hot light into his face seemed to think otherwise. Shinji broke contact with it, whimpering as he stared at his feet. Anger bubbled forth, but his fist clenched hard and caught it. He wanted to yell back, but it caught in his throat, a sickened lump nesting where his voicebox was.

It wouldn't be right. It'd just make things worse to get angry.

The boy sniffed. It didn't seemed fair. No, it wasn't fair at all. He didn't deserve this, why did this always happen to him? Why did people always treat him like this?

He was good, he was nice to people, why did they never be nice to him?

"Who the hell are you kid?" torch man roared, in a thunderous, overtime-frustrated voice that resonated off the walls, amplifying itself into some looming sonic monster towering menacingly over the child "Because I know you ain't the chief's boy."

"Ikari Shinji!" he screamed, before he even realised he had. "I'm Ikari Shinji,"

A pregnant silence, and Shinji braced himself. He still yelped as a hand reached out and gripped his right arm, hard, before wrenching it painfully around into a half-nelson. Shinji squirmed, stretching the tendons in his shoulder, straining them taught like guitar strings, to the point where he could almost imagine them twanging as they snapped.

"Hey," he squealed.

And, shameful as it was, he knew he squealed. His left arm was dragged, and he felt the cold steel handcuffs ratchet tightly shut.

"I told you the truth," he whined. "I told you the truth. Why are you doing this? I told you you he truth!"

His voice echoed along the passage.

"You are under arrest," Torch man said flatly, or perhaps, with a small hint of arrogant self satisfaction, "For violation of U.N.S.C. Order K dash Two-Seven-Four, violation of secured GEHIRN research facilities."

A claustrophobic darkness covered the boys head once more, as he was blinded by a black fabric bag.

"GEHIRN?" Shinji parroted, mouth on autopilot.

He was roughly nudged forward, and set walking.

"But I don't even know what that is!" he shouted, redfaced with tears welling up in his eyes. "I just..." Shinji hiccuped..." I just finished a sync test and was..."

He was interrupted by something hard striking him in the back.

"Do I really look like I give a fuck?"

Shinji though, didn't answer. He was crying now, sniffing, coughing, tears streaming down his cheeks in what he was sure was a pathetic, childish display.

It's just like the bicycle, he thought, nobody believed me then, nobody ever believes me when I tell the truth..

It was at that moment, he resigned himself to his fate

His breath stank of blood.

He sniffed.

He just wanted this to end.

He just wanted to go home to Misato, Asuka, and Pen-Pen.

Instead, he was thrown head first into the thick black void of a detention cell, the tacky plastic of his plugsuit squeaking as it slid across the floor. The door slammed shut with a permanent sounding metallic drumbeat, and he was once again alone.

The boy just curled despairingly up against the rough concrete wall, and closed his eyes, hoping beyond all sane hope that it really was just some fucked up nightmare, that he could wake up in his own warm bed.

Kensuke would laugh when told about it tomorrow, yeah, definitely he would.

I...I

It may have been a day later, possibly two, Shinji couldn't tell. His body had no frame of reference to tell. He hadn't slept, a low white noise draft foiling any attempt at escape back into his dream, the constant low level artificial light serving only to sap whatever remaining energy he had left.

"Pilot Ikari Shinji, United Nations NERV, C dash Three-One," Shinji said, eyes cast low onto his cuffed hands. They were rested on a simple wooden table, but the heavy steel shackles still dragged on his wrists.

Uncomfortable in prison issue industrial grey overalls, he shifted on the hard plastic chair. Hell, he even doubted if it deserved to be called a chair it was so uncomfortable.

"Now kid, we both know that's not your real name." His interrogator said in a soft voice. "So look, why don't you just tell us who you are, okay? Nobody will get angry with you if you do,"

Shinji looked up at him for a moment, balding somewhat, and wearing dark, concealing sunglasses and a pristine salaryman's office suite. He spoke in warm, kind tones, as if he was Shinji's best friend in the world.

It was a false kindness, something Shinji knew well.

"Pilot Ikari Shinji, United Nations NERV, C dash Three-One."

The boy knew he wouldn't be believed, but he still kept saying the same thing. He knew even a fake name would buy him a reprieve, however short, but for some demented reason he could not bring himself to say it. Lord knows, he'd suffered enough for the truth in the past. He'd told the truth about that old bicycle, but nobody'd believed him then. Now, they wouldn't even believe his name.

"Alright," The interrogator sighed, reaching for something beneath the table.

A flash of fear clenched Shinji's chest, but it was quickly drowned by a sea of resigned apathy. Whatever this man was going to do, he was going to do it regardless of whatever Shinji said.

He took a plastic cup, and bottle of sparkling orange soda, then poured Shinji a drink. It sparkled and fizzed enticingly, the boys mouth instantly dessicated by its sweet liquid allure.

"All you have to do kid, is give me a name, and I'll uncuff you, and let you have the entire bottle,"

Ryoji Kaji, that would be a good name to give, wouldn't it? He could be Kaji for a few minutes, at least until he downed the bottle. The boy hadn't eaten anything since some time before he'd arrived, and his stomach growled hungrily at the sight of the bubbling pop.

He opened his mouth.

"Ry..Ikari Shinji," he said.

He couldn't lie. Some suicidally insane slice of his conscious screamed at him, demanding he tell the truth. He just didn't want to get caught in a lie. If this was how badly he was treated when he told the truth, telling a lie could be fatal.

The interrogator sighed once more.

Shinji glanced up at the mirror to his right, at his own, drawn tired eyes. He really was pathetic.

Behind the mirror, he was being covertly watched by a pair of scientists, a man and a woman, both wearing white disposable labcoats.

"So chief," the woman said, "Have you told Yui yet?"

She was somewhat short, her burnt brown hair held up in curls, and was, up till that point, quietly taking notes on her clipboard.

"No, I would prefer not to worry her with this, if possible," the man answered passively.

He was clearly the elder of the two, but still clean shaven with short cut brown hair. His face was taught and his blue eyes contemplative. He nudged his milk bottle lensed glasses up on his nose, watching the tired child with curious fascination.

"I know if somebody showed up claiming to be my Ritsuko, I'd want to know about it chief."

"Hmm..." the Chief nodded, his gaze still fixed on the sombre youth.

The Doctor hummed, then noted some new behaviour of the child on her clipboard. She reached for a small microphone.

"Ota, leave the suspect for about five minutes, tell him you're letting let him think it over."

The interrogator in the room tapped his earbud three times, to show he'd heard the message, communicated the Doctor's order to the boy, and left.

Shinji, stared longingly at the cup, then looked up at the door.

The man didn't seem to be coming back.

But, maybe he could be watching?

Shinji didn't see any cameras watching him, just that silver glass mirror, and his own hungry face.

Screw it.

Shinji lunged forward, scrabbling to grab the flexible plastic cup in his cuffed hands. The metl restraints clamped hard, and held hos wrists at an odd angle, making it difficult to get a decent grip on anything. It almost seemed like they had be designed that way. The cup slipped and slid, and splashed over his hands.

How wasteful, he thought.

He lifted it, squeezing it into an oval to keep it in his hands. His grip was shaking, and the smooth cup began to slip. Desperately, he tried to grip it tighter, but all he succeeded in doing was spilling more of the orange nectar over his hands, and onto the table.

It was shortly followed by the cup, its contents sloshing in an bubbling orange slick across the tabletop, running in small rivers to the edge, where it tumbled off and pattered mockingly on the floor.

"No," Shinji whimpered.

It sat there teasingly, his reflection almost laughing at him. His stomach gurgled vacuously.

He dropped forward and began to lap it up like a dog. It was disgusting, it was degrading, it was the sweetest orange juice he'd ever tasted.

"Now I believe him," The Doctor said.

"Oh," Chief quirked an eyebrow, "Do enlighten me."

"If he was thirsty enough to lap up orange juice off a table, there's no way he could've resisted while Ota was there, he is a child after all. It's pretty simple, isn't it Gendou-kun,"

The old man just nodded. She always called him Gendou-kun when she thought she knew more than he did.

"That's a little less than your usual ironclad logic," he remarked.

"Call it woman's intuition then, but he's not lying."

Gendou nodded again.

"He does seem to believe what he is saying. I think we shouldn't be asking who he is, and instead, focus our attention on how and why he came to be where he was."

"And who sent him," the doctor added.

"I believe that should be obvious," Ikari smirked, "Keel may be blind, but that doesn't mean he won't be keeping an eye on us."

"So, you think it was the committee then?"

"Of course Naoko-chan, who else do we know who has the ability to brainwash a child this well?"

Naoko snorted, then looked up at the smirking man.

"I can see why you don't want to tell Yui," she said, sighing. "She would probably treat him like her own son regardless, which is likely what had been planned all along."

"Indeed," Gendou nodded, before returning his gaze to the child.

The boy slowly leaned forward, resting his chin on his laced hands.

"I can see the family resemblance already," Naoko remarked with an alto chuckle.

Gendou merely grunted.

"Perhaps a DNA sample will at least settle a part of this mystery," he suggested.

"Alright," the Doctor answered, but with a smirk that let Gendou Ikari know he wasn't being let off that easily. The chief never could quite handle it when somebody teased him, and it was a fact Dr. Naoko Akagi had quickly found she could use to her advantage.

I...I

Shinji didn't know how long he'd been sitting on his own. Seconds bled into minutes bled into hours. The rational part of his mind reminded him that it really couldn't have been that long since the interrogator had left. But fuck rational, the world as he'd known it seemed to have gone insane, why shouldn't he join in with it.

One moment, all was well, then something, he wasn't sure what to call it, had happened to him, and now, he was a prisoner.

He was even beginning to question if Ikari Shinji was really his name.

Nobody else seemed to think it was.

But if it wasn't, what was?

He could only answer with the name he knew, and that name was Ikari Shinji.

Maybe they'd tell him eventually, when they realised he didn't know. Maybe they'd just give up trying to wrangle information out of him and tell them who he was.

Either that, or he was just going nuts from sitting in an Evangelion for too long.

One or the other, it didn't really matter.

And then, suddenly, there was a noise from the door, the brass tick of a bolt coming undone.

Oh God... the soda.

A spasm of fear clenched his breast, locking his breath in his lungs.

It was splashed everywhere, on the table, on his hands. They'd know what he'd done with it, and he'd be punished for it.

The door squeaked open and he whimpered, bracing himself once more for what came next.

"Good afternoon Shinji," a woman's voice said. " I am Doctor Naoko Akagi, I'm here to talk with you, if you'd like,"

Again, another one speaking in kind tones. The name 'Akagi' rung a bell somewhere in the youths mind, and he looked up at her, guiltily, like a Jack Russel puppy who'd left a surprise in the next room. His heart sank, it wasn't Ritsuko. This woman though, was a brunette, and almost old enough to be her mother, but not quite.

An older sister perhaps?

She did however wear the same or similar labcoat, and was carrying a clipboard.

And, she'd called him Shinji.

This doctor had been the first person to do so and it came as a soothing relief to the boy. Maybe he wasn't going nuts after all, maybe there was an explanation for this.

He had to be sure.

"You...you do believe me?" he questioned, his voice small enough to be swallowed by the rough concrete wall.

It still didn't seem possible.

"Yes Shinji," she nodded, taking the interrogator's seat.

He glanced longingly at the nearly-full bottle, still enticingly standing on the table.

"Of course you may," the doctor answered his unasked question, " Just let me remove your restraints,"

Gladly, Shinji offered his arms to the woman. Her hands were so warm and soft. Soothing, like the touch of an Angel sent down to rescue him from this nightmare. The cuffs came off, the dropping weight seeming like the ultimate release for the boy.

"Thank you," he smiled, then snatched the bottle for himself.

Hurridly, he scrabbled to get the top off, not even bothering to put it down. It dropped and rolled across the floor, coming to rest against the far wall, by which time, Shinji was already trying to drown himself with it, swallowing great gulping mouthfuls.

"That's enough Shinji," Akagi withdrew the bottle, "You'll either poison or drown yourself, and we can't have that, can we?"

He reached for it on instinct, before the words had found a path from his ears to his brain.

"No," he said.

"Now, would you be willing to answer a few questions?"

Shinji groaned, then looked down at the stained table.

I guess, it's going to start all over again, he thought despondently.

"Do you know where you are, Shinji?" Akagi asked, her voice flat, but not interrogative.

She asked the question in a reassuring manner, and Shinji felt at ease with it. Even if he didn't know the answer, he felt he could say as much and it would be accepted. Her kindness still struck him as somewhat calculated and deliberate, a means to an end and nothing more, but still, there was something comfortable about her.

He knew she would listen to him.

"I don't..." he groaned, "I really don't know,"

Please believe me.

"You are in the secret GEHIRN underground research and development laboratory, Shinji. We are currently in a cavern deep below the surface of the Earth,"

"Sounds like the Geofront," Shinji mumbled to himself. It struck him for a moment that Misato had used a similar phrase to describe the underground base the first time he'd been down there.

Probably just a coincidence, how else could an underground base be described?

"I suppose you could call it a Geofront, if you wanted." the Doctor said. It was strange, Geofront was the name Yui had suggested for the facility. It was either a coincidence, or somebody had been watching really close. She was inclined to believe the latter.

"Now Shinji," she forced herself back on track, "Since I've answered a question for you, perhaps you might answer a few for me?"

"Well, okay, I'll try,"

He didn't want to say 'yes' outright, since he really wasn't sure he'd be able to answer any questions.

"First Shinji, Are you able to tell me how you got where you were?"

Again, he groaned. He'd only said he'd try to explain, not that he'd actually be capable of answering correctly. The Doctor was sitting, staring at him almost with her envy green eyes, chew-tipped pen at the ready to note every word he said..

"I'd just finished a sync test with Unit 01, and I was heading to change out of my plugsuit, when something..." he searched for a word that could properly describe it, "...weird happened, and all the lights went out, then.."

"Wait, "Akagi interrupted, "Tell about the weird feeling, what exactly did it feel like?"

How to describe it?

"Like the world imploding on top of me," the child answered after a moments thought. "It just, sort of happened."

"Good," Akagi nodded, making quick shorthand notes, "Now this 'Unit 01', can you tell me what this is?"

For a moment, Shinji wondered if maybe he shouldn't reveal classified information, before quickly deciding that it really wasn't worth trying to hide anything. It'd just take longer to get out of there.

"It's Evangelion Unit 01, it's a robot." he said.

Akagi swallowed for a moment.

In the entire world, there were maybe fifty people who knew of the existence of the Evangelion. The ABHE was perhaps, an even bigger secret than the truth about the Impact.

Why would a child be told of it?

Shinji noticed the woman start when he mentioned the EVA, her skin blanching as she noted his answer.

Did I say something wrong? he thought, nervously.

"What do you know about the Evangelion?"

She almost snapped his head off.

"Uhh...It's a robot,"

"What sort?" Akagi demanded, "Do you Pilot it?"

"I...I'm it's Pilot, yes," Shinji nodded, his empty stomach tossing and tying itself in knots. "But, I don't know anything about how, I just sit in it and do what I'm told."

The more questions Naoko asked, the more Shinji told her, the more she was confused, and perhaps worried. No, she wasn't worried, worry didn't cover this, she was almost afraid of this child.

The more she delved into the well of this child's knowledge, the more afraid she became. But still, her curiosity demanded satisfaction; she had to know. She had to know about synchronisation, LCL, about Tokyo-3, about the Angels, her MAGI and finally, about the other ABHE's.

All where theories, they only existed on paper.

How a simple boy could've heard of them, she didn't know, and that's what scared her.

It was that skin crawling feeling that there was something utterly important going on, but you didn't know about it. It was that same feeling of being sat in a college exam, looking down at that paper, and realising that, despite what you though, you really didn't know the answer at all.

Or worse, that you did, and some part of your mind had decided it would be a damn good practical joke to keep it from you, just to make you sweat a little more.

Her intuition told her that there was more to this mystery child than meets the eye, some great truth hidden from her that would explain who he could know so much, and be exactly who he said he was.

The only logical explanation though, that she could come close to accepting, was that Keel Lorenz had to be somehow responsible.

How she didn't know, but this had to be his work.

Lorenz was the only person with the motive and capability to do something like this.

Finally, her questioning done, and with enough information and ideas to put that woman in the shade for good, she took a blood sample. It could almost have been disappointing, that the child's blood had been a normal vermillion red, but still, at least a DNA test would reveal who the boy really was.

That was small comfort, that one little piece of the puzzle could be solved, even if it was just the top corner of sky in a ten-thousand piece jigsaw. Maybe, they might even be able to help the poor thing, get him a nice place to stay with a foster family.

But, until that time, it looked like the Katsuragi girl would be getting a new roommate.

I...I

The ending of this chapter was hard.. and far from perfect. I tried to do out the entire conversation, but it still came across as one giant, dull information dump. A good insomnia cure maybe, but a pain in the ass to read. I didn't like it at all. Eventually, I settled on something a little more efficient and quick to read through. It doesn't drag as much, but it's far from perfect.

But anyway... It could work. I just wish my dog would shut the hell up

-Dartz