Note: Warning... this is a crackfic drabble series with Shirosaki x Ichigo for pairing. So those who don't like shounen-ai only have not to read it!

Note 2: Shirosaki is Ichigo's inner hollow.

Note 3: This is an idea I had during an English class, and when I told it to my friend, she smiled during the whole next class being French (the MOST boring class). So that's why this is for you Nadine. (I'm from Quebec, that's why her name's in French.)

Note 4: The story ain't completly the same than French version.

UPDATE: CORRECTED! YAYYYY! Tell me if you find any errors.

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Crackfic #1: Never go where Shirosaki could be

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Ichigo had nothing to do that day ; Rukia and Renji were gone to Soul Society, Kon had been captured by Yuzu and his whole family was gone camping. But it didn't bother him that much.

An idea slowly began to form inside his head. Maybe there would be something interesting to do in his inner world. He concentrated and two seconds later, there he was, standing on one of the numerous blue buildings. He sitted down on the side of the skyscraper, subconsciously sticking on it with his reiatsu. He putted his hands in his pockets and found an old chalk. He didn't know why it was there, but he didn't mind.

He slowly went down the building wall and landed lightly on the ground. He began drawing stupid things on the wall with the chalk. A hollow mask, and then some hearts, because Rukia always said he didn't draw them correctly. And she was right. He was to try to draw something else when he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders. He screamed in surprise at the sudden contact.

He turned his head towards holding him and saw Shirosaki behind him, hugging him.

"Great hollow mask, but the hearts are a little... ugly." the hollow said, completly relaxed.

"What the fuck are you doing ?!?" Ichigo shouted trying to push him back.

"Nothin'!" answered the other, a huge smirk playing on his lips.

"LET ME GO! TEME!" Ichigo screamed while trying to kick him.

"No." His smirk was growing bigger.

"Why are you holding me anyway?" Ichigo was trying to be as calm as possible.

" 'cause ye're so kawai when ye're angry, ô-sama!"

"Let me go, I said, boke!" While saying this Ichigo tried to kick him with his fist.

But the blow never arrived. Because Shirosaki at took use of Ichigo's inattention to attach his hands behind his back.

"I don't think ye really are in a situation to give me orders, ô-sama..." Shirosaki's voice was was pleased while he putted his claws on Ichigo's neck. And, feeling the sharp claws on his throat, Ichigo seemed to panic a little. He began shruggling to escape, moving so much that he made Shirosaki's hand go up a little. Ichigo took the opportunity and bit hard down on the hand.

"Itai! Ye're not really kind, ô-sama..." The hollow tightened his grip on the other boy, stopping him completly from moving.

Noticing that he now was completly stuck, Ichigo asked: "And... what do you plan to do with me?"

"Well, ya know, girls, when a stranger aproach them, the always think that that person's gonna rape 'em."

"Yeah, and...? How is this supposed to be connected to my situation?"

"Well, take yer situation like if ye were a girl!"

And that was just too much for our lil' Ichigo, who now was out.

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When Ichigo woke up, his hands were attached tighter and Shirosaki was sitted next to him.

"K'so!"

"Finally awake, eh?" Shirosaki smirked.

He took hold of Ichigo's chin and brought there faces closer to each other's and kissed the boy's lips lightly. At first it was a chaste kiss, but soon, Shirosaki forcefully slid his tongue into Ichigo's mouth. Then he suddenly broke the kiss. Ichigo's face was redder than a strawberry.

"K'so...Sorry ô-sama, we'll need to stop here fer today, Zangetsu's arrivin'!"

Ichigo didn't say anything while Shirosaki ripped apart the cloth holding his hands together, altough he seemed a little relieved that his inner hollow hadn't been able to go any further. When Shirosaki was finished, Ichigo got up and turned away, ready to leave.

"Ô-sama?"

Ichigo turned his head to look at Shirosaki.

"There's two things I wanna tell you: one, ye're even more kawai when ye blush and two, I never abandon 'til I get what I want."

Ichigo turned away from the hollow as fast as possible and disappeared, going back to real world. But Shiroaki still had the time to see the boys cheeks go red.

He letted out a small sight of pleasure.

"My ô-sama can be so kawai sometimes!"

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Small translations:

Teme...Bastard

Kawai...Cute

Boke...Idiot (worse than Baka)

Ô-sama...King

K'so...Shit

Reiatsu...Spiritual Energy

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The next chapters will be «The princess and the knight» and «The doctor».

Reviews, pwease pwease? (puppy eyes)

The princess and the knight // A little preview

Another boring day, with more and more boring classes, and with a psycothic hollow cackling and shouting insults in his head. Ichigo knew it was going to be a really bad day if he did not make that damn thing SHUT UP!