The Raccoons

Pay the Piper

Chapter 5

"Bark, Bark!" Broo barked happily as he found his owner and proceeded to jump on him knocking the drunken raccoon over. The pistol Bert held dropped to the ground and rolled a short distance before tumbling into the lake with a dull splash.

"Broo, no." Bert slurred as he pushed the puppy away and crawled to the edge of the lake. He stuck his hand into the water and fished around for the pistol before dropping resigned on the shore. Broo came up and licked Bert's face, forcing the drunken raccoon to laugh.

"At least you still like me, Broo." Bert said as he rubbed the puppy's head.

Though still tipsy from the whiskey Bert stood up and staggered slowly in the direction of the raccoondominium. "C'mon Broo, they'll be waiting for us." Broo, who after finding Bert decided to investigate some of the forest nightlife, obeyed and immediately came to heel. Both of them walked off into the enveloping darkness.

Melissa sat alone at the raccoondominium's kitchen table looking over some stock prints for the Evergreen Standard. Rejecting yet another photograph, she took a sip of her tea. It had been over an hour since Broo had practically demanded to be let out; unless Bert or someone else was there to play with him, he usually wanted to be let back in quite quickly after he had taken care of business, but this was not the case tonight. Ralph had left that morning, saying he had business in the capital and she had no idea where Bert was...at least she did not know until the raccoondominium's front door opened and Broo bounded through it barking happily, followed a short distance behind by Bert. He still looked unhappy and a little drunk, though for some reason he appeared to have had a major burden lifted.

"You were out late Bert," Melissa said, making more of a statement than a question but still hoping he might give her an answer to what he had been doing.

"I had some things I needed to do," Bert replied without much enthusiasm.

"Well, I hope you accomplished what you wanted to do." Melissa tried to say something positive to cheer Bert up.

Bert stopped at the foot of the stairs, "It was probably better that I didn't. I'm going to turn in. I have to see my lawyer tomorrow." Slowly, he walked his way up to the raccoondominium's second floor.

The next morning Bert was again dressed in his suit at his lawyer's downtown law firm. "I'm here to see Rebbecca Badger," Bert said to the receptionist who by now was well aware of who he was.

"I'll let her know you are here Mr. Raccoon, please have a seat."

Bert sat down and waited. Within a few minutes Rebbecca appeared at the door and Bert was allowed through.

"I thought I was going to meet you at the courthouse. However, I'm glad you're here; I like to go over a few things with you before trial begins, so it makes as much sense to do it here as there." Rebbecca motioned Bert to one of the chairs in front of her desk.

Bert took the seat and Rebbecca settled into her chair picking up some papers that were arrayed on the desk in front of her. "For instance, did you know that Delilah Blackmask has a degree in 'Women's Studies'? What can you possibly do with that outside of the collegiate world?"

"Bert looked at her vacantly. "Also, and even worse, she is part of women's supremacist organization with a 'back to nature' angle. They believe that our society can best be served by following the example of our primitive cousins in terms of family structure. It seems that not only do they think that women are rightfully superior to men but that men are unneeded except for reproduction and security. In fact, any species that has traditionally mated for life is excluded. This could be an angle to force joint custody; discrimination of this sort is officially frowned upon, even if a blind eye is often turned for politically correct groups."

Rebbecca continued, "I'm going to threaten to enter this information to her attorney. Perhaps that will force them into a settlement."

"I don't want this to go on anymore," Bert said to his attorney.

"Pardon?"

"I want this to end. I want to clear my name. It's over, I can't win."

Rebbecca set the papers back down on her desk. "Did something happen?"

"I've just been thinking. There's no way to beat her. Everything is stacked in her favor."

Rebbecca leaned back in her chair. "And you just want to give up?"

Bert looked down ashamed, "I want to clear my name now. That's it, no more. I want this to end."

Rebbecca exhaled. "Are you sure Bert? If you give up now you'll never get another chance to interact with your daughter, at least while she is a minor."

"It's not like they will let me see her anyway." Bert's head remained bowed in resignation.

"Bert this is not like you. You don't give up."

"Why fight when it only brings you misery? Why? There are no knights in shining armor who will come to your rescue anymore."

"It's your decision. A lot of men don't even bother." Rebbecca stood up, "But where would we be if all the knights in shining armor made the same choice?"

Bert said nothing as he remained seated. He carried himself like a man who was defeated. Rebbecca had seen this in men many times before usually long before it got to this point. She stood up and walked around to where the dejected raccoon sat. She patted his shoulder hoping to give him some small amount of comfort but knowing full well it wouldn't mean much. "We had better get going Bert. We don't want to be late."

The plaintiffs, defendants and spectators all sat quietly as Judge Sessions droned on about obscure legal precedents, case law and other legal terms that probably meant something to lawyers but meant little to the average person. In fact, the average people in the courthouse gallery looked like they had no interest in this part of their neighbor's courtroom drama; they were here only for the verdict. Bert's sudden decision not to go forward with custody had robbed them of the majority of their entertainment.

As the judge droned on, Bert would occasionally glance over to look at his persecutors. Anthony Shyster looked bored, as he from time to time would rub his eyes in an effort to keep awake. Delilah sat looking forward with her head resting on her hand. From time to time she would silently sigh as if cursing the long-winded judge for making her wait. Cynthia lay her head over her crossed arms looking around every once in a while for something to occupy her time. She was the only one Bert felt any sympathy for because she could not have known what her mother had planned.

Bert's attorney looked both bored by the proceedings and displeased, if not angered, by Bert's sudden decision to give up. She would absently drum her fingers on the table and sigh, taking occasional glances at her watch.

At that moment, Ralph entered the courtroom making his way down the center aisle and taking his seat directly behind Bert's attorney. He whispered into her ear and handed over a manila envelope. Rebbecca read over the documents with an ever widening smile crossing her face and waited for the judge to stop droning.

Judge Sessions finally ended her dissertation on the legal structures of Bert's support payments to Delilah. "Does the defense counsel have anything they would like to have considered before this judgment is entered into force?"

"Yes your honor, we do." Rebecca paused to pick up the papers. "Your honor, before you make a decision based on the reputation of my client I have some evidence to enter on his behalf."

"Go ahead, you may speak on your client's behalf."

"Thank you your honor." Rebecca stood from the defendant's table. "My client, Bert Raccoon, only a few weeks ago was considered a pillar of his community. A businessman, a civic leader, a friend to all in his community. He was respected as a paragon of honesty and integrity. A man with whom his word was his bond."

"In the course of the past few weeks, every bit of the life he created for himself was ripped asunder. His reputation was torn apart and scattered to the fall winds. Why did this happen? Why was my client so savaged by the mother of his child? The plaintiff says it was for protection. That she was only protecting her daughter from the predations of my client who has never been proven to be a danger to anyone."

"The reason for this was because, Bert Raccoon behaved like a typical college student. He had more than a few lovers in his early years. While in the past this was considered immoral or sinful this behavior is not illegal, embarrassing as it may be to the person who is now trying to make a respectable image for himself."

"However, when informed that he was the father of a young girl he wanted to do the right thing and be part of her life. Unfortunately for all, the mother of that young girl did not want Mr. Raccoon as the father, she only wanted him as an additional source of income."

"Most men, when faced with this situation, would roll over and play dead. They know all too well that in situations such as this no amount of effort will move a child welfare system that is rooted in it's own bureaucracy."

"Despite all this, Bert Raccoon steadfastly pressed forward no matter the obstacle because he believed he had the right to see and know his daughter. When presented with reasons of why in his present situation he should not be allowed to see her, he changed or began to make changes to meet the standards set by the bureaucrats. When that did not work, they made up charges..." Rebbecca was cut off by Anthony Shyster.

"Objection, your honor, assumption of facts not in evidence." Anthony said without much enthusiasm.

"Sustained."

Rebbecca scowled at the bloated attorney who was reading some paperwork and otherwise ignoring her. Thanks to Ralph, she now had what she needed to finish these two off for good. She started again, "They accused my client, without any basis in fact, of one of the few interpersonal relationships that we as a society consider taboo."

"How noble a cause it is to protect children from the predations of the rapacious. What could someone who wants to protect children possibly do wrong? After all, they have 'the best interests of the child' at heart, don't they?"

"'The best interests of the child' is one of the most sacred of all phrases uttered within the hallowed halls of courtrooms such as this. We conjure up the image of loving parents making the best efforts to do what is right by their children, supported by a legal system that makes every effort to ensure that outcome comes to pass. The truth is far less glamorous."

"Instead, we have created a bureaucracy to manage the chaos we created. That bureaucracy, like any other bureaucracy, allows itself to operate with as little effort as possible, in order to maintain itself. It is far easier for that bureaucracy to continue to act as a money exchanger, than as an organization that looks out for the benefit of children. Far easier, because they get Federal funding based on the mount of child support they collect, rather than by providing a safe and secure environment for the children they are supposed to safeguard."

"Love of money is often called the 'root of all evil'. In this situation, I find myself in agreement. For it is through that love of money that an indifferent bureaucracy would allow unscrupulous persons to use an indifferent court system to pick the pockets of innocent persons such as my client. However, it was not enough that my client be assailed by an uncaring government entity. When the threat of child support without visitation failed to deter my client, added incentive was made. A baseless charge of pedophilia was made against my client. They based this disgusting charge on the fact that Mr. Raccoon has a young, though legal-aged girlfriend, with whom he has a casual relationship and that he fulfilled the obligations of a charity 'date' where he was purchased by a ten year old girl as a mercy purchase. As well as being a good friend of the younger brother of his girlfriend, nothing my client has done is a crime and nothing he has done has ever hurt anybody."

"Why did they do this? They did it to protect themselves from being found out as frauds, because while Bert Raccoon may have a much younger, though still legal girlfriend, at least he has never defrauded anyone like Delilah Blackmask has."

"Objection your honor! How can you allow these baseless charges?" The tubby raccoon attorney stood from his seat."

"Sustain..." the judge began.

"If you will allow me to present evidence on behalf of my client." Bert's attorney handed one set of documents to the judge who looked at them with skepticism.

"Your honor, I hold in my hands, and you have copies of same, birth certificates of one Cynthia Blackmask. One does not have a name for a father and the other ten have ten different men listed as the father including Bert Raccoon, who was only recently added to the list. Several of the birth certificates have different birth dates and all of these men, save for the one who is deceased, have judgments for child support against them in force." As Bert's attorney spoke the judge looked at the documents handed to her. The more she looked the less pleased her expression became. She frequently looked at Delilah Blackmask and her attorney who squirmed uncomfortably looking every bit the condemned prisoners they were about to become.

"Ms. Blackmask," the judge intoned, "you seem to have gotten around. May I ask you a question, is it possible for a child to have ten fathers?" Delilah could only swallow. "No response, hmmm, well that is your right. What about you Mr. Shyster is it possible for a child to have ten fathers?"

Anthony Shyster knew the game was up, "No…no your honor."

"Then why do I have ten judgments awarded for paternity and support on my bench?"

"I, I don't know." The tubby attorney sounded dejected, he knew the reason and he didn't want to admit it.

"You don't know? Then why is your name on nine of the judgments as litigator? You and Ms. Blackmask have some explaining to do. I want answers tomorrow and I suggest you bring your toothbrushes with you. Bailiffs, take them into custody. The judgment against Bert Raccoon is hereby dismissed." The judge pounded the gavel and court bailiffs began the process of taking Delilah, Anthony and Cynthia into custody.

"Did I win?" Bert for the first time in a long time looked excited.

"Sort of, the judgment against you was vacated but there is still a question of who is Cynthia Blackmask's father is," his attorney informed him.

"But, I'm her father."

"Right now, there is a dispute as to who the legal father is; until that is sorted out, Cynthia will be remanded to state custody. I'm sorry Bert."

"Oh, sure! When a guy is named a father but really isn't, he still has to pay, but he isn't allowed to see his kid. And now when the tables are turned I, still can't see her! what happened to the psychological parent then?"

"The term 'psychological parent' only refers to the child's view of the parent not the parent's view of the child. When there is legal standing to charge him as the father. You successfully muddied the waters enough to cast doubt on who Cynthia's father really is," His attorney Rebbecca shamefully said to him.

"Before I wouldn't have been able to get out of paying child support even if I wasn't her father now all of a sudden I'm still cut out. Why?!" Bert cried out in pain and frustration.

"Because right now, there is a legal problem with at least nine child support judgments being in force without a law in place to let it happen," Judge Sessions said, as she came down from her bench to speak directly with Bert. She had thought it best to apologize for what the court had put him through and to inform him he would likely be involved in further court proceedings, though this time only as a witness. Flanking her on either side were the formidable-looking court bailiffs.

"Mr. Raccoon, I would like to apologize for the problems you may have incurred because of these proceedings."

Bert turned from his lawyer wiping at his eyes with his hand. "Why can't I see my kid?" Bert asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Judge Sessions figured correctly that this was one man who would not take "no" for an answer, "Mr. Raccoon I understand your frustration, however, there is an issue as to who actually is Cynthia Blackmask's real father. The only thing we can say for certain is that you are not the father."

"I was good enough for her child support but now I'm not good enough to take care of her?"

"You aren't her father, you were just a patsy who was supposed to pay child support without question. They didn't expect you to fight them. If you hadn't they would have gotten away with it again. This court owes you it's gratitude."

"You can take your gratitude and shove it up your..."

"Bert, please!" Rebbecca pulled Bert back.

"...tail! What do you think fathers are? sperm donors with wallets?" Bert directed his anger at the judge, who listened reservedly. Court was no longer in session and she thought it would be best to let him rant, as long as he did not go too far.

"I wish I could help you Mr. Raccoon but unfortunately the law is what it is."

"Well it stinks!" Bert turned away hurt.

"I'm sorry, that is all I can say."

"A lifetime of sorries won't make up for this."

"The system worked," the Judge said with a strait face, though at this point even she didn't believe it.

That was it for Bert. He shouted, "You call this working? A little girl has lost the only parent she has ever known, all because of your system working!"

"And what of the other lives destroyed, not just by Delilah Blackmask but all the others out there? People who are either attacked or forced to go on the attack so they don't get blindsided by their former partner. Battling it out like gladiators while their attorneys profit from the fighting! Fighting encouraged by a biased system that you say is working! Do you get some kind of a thrill watching people torture one another while you sit up there on your throne?"

"Mr. Raccoon I…" the judge started as the bailiffs reached for their pepper sprays.

"You'll what! You'll have your goon squad pepper spray me? You'll hold me in contempt of court? Let me tell you something, this court is contemptible!" Bert turned away. "Your court ruins people's lives. Not just the losers' lives, but the winners too. I'd say you should be ashamed of yourselves, but I don't think you are even capable of it." With that Bert turned away from Judge Sessions and walked away.

Judge Sessions had had enough of Bert's outburst. "Regardless of what you think, Mr. Raccoon," she called after him, "I am not a dictator who makes things up as I go along. I can only follow the law and they are laws written by people who, more often than not, use your washroom, not mine!" Bert acknowledged the judge's predicament with a shrug. What did it matter, when the legal system that was supposed to protect you did not?

Rebbecca followed Bert from the courtroom. "Bert!" she called out after him.

Bert stopped, "I suppose you are going to want to be paid for your trouble," he said causticly.

"Relax a generous benefactor paid your bill in full he just asked to remain nameless."

Bert sniffed slightly, "Tell him, thank you."

"I will."

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this. It's just..." Bert's voice trailed.

"Not fair," Rebbecca finished for him. "No, I suppose you are right, it isn't fair; you go through life trying to do your best and someone comes along and destroys it all without even thinking of the cost. Quite a world we've constructed for ourselves, isn't it? You've been hurt, hurt really bad and all you want to do is crawl home and lick your wounds. I don't blame you. This isn't the first time I have seen this happen. It isn't even the worst I have ever seen, but this is definitely the first one where I could put the blame all on one actor."

"It's also the first time I have wanted to quit what I was doing. I cannot in good faith keep doing this in the hopes it will eventually be changed. I guess I can't go on doing this and trying to reform the beast from within."

"Good luck," Bert snorted, "this system will eat you alive."

"Maybe but if I stand around feeding the beast hoping it eats me last, I'll surely be eaten by it." Rebbecca turned from the upset raccoon. "And who knows? Maybe I can kill the beast." with that, she walked away, leaving Bert to himself.

Bert walked out the front door of the Evergreen Forest courthouse and sat down on the steps burying his head in his hands. He was glad this nightmare was finally over; he just wanted to get back to what was left of his life and try to put together something resembling what he had before. He was even told that he had won but why didn't it feel like it?

"Excuse me, mister." A small voice dragged Bert from his revery. He looked up; Cynthia Blackmask stood in front of him further away next to a black car was an older lady goose who watched them both apprehensively she was probably putting her job in jeopardy by allowing this.

"I just wanted to say that I am sorry. Sorry for what my mom put you through."

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault," Bert said.

Cynthia sat down on the steps next to Bert and looked out towards the road in front of the courthouse. "All I ever wanted was a dad. You were the first one of all of the ones mom sued that wanted me."

As the girl raccoon stood up from the steps, she turned back to Bert. "Thanks…for wanting me." With that, she walked over to where the older goose lady stood with the car door open. Cynthia Blackmask got into the seat and the door was closed. The two raccoons locked eyes and they remained locked until the car had driven out of sight.

Now alone, Bert Raccoon stood up from the steps. With his head, tail and heart drooping he slowly made his way home.

The End

AN: I just want to take the time to thank Gabe B. for his help by being my beta reader and editor. His help was invaluable in making Pay the Piper a better story. I would also like to thank the Head Honcho, raccoonqueen, Dumas and all others who took the time to review. It is your thoughts and comments who made it so much easier to continue this story to completion. So please leave a review to let me know what you think.