…But the island did not offer an easy way out, and gradually, Ralph surrendered to the parasite. Were all these mental debates worth it? Wouldn't it just be easier to let his terror take over and to live on adrenaline rather than logic? Rationality was unwelcome here; this had been proven by the death of Piggy. Natural man was not familiar with facts and common sense; natural man believed in what he saw with his eyes, not with his intellect or conscience. Reasoning and wisdom combined to form a language that only the civilized could understand. And the civil simply did not live on the island.

And if Ralph tried to be the chaste Catholic boy he'd been brought up as…well, where would that get him? Certainly, Simon had been the perfect example of what purity was worth: nothing. The shock headed boy had been gentle and kind, and yet he was murdered. Would Ralph's fate resemble his? He might as well just accept his new primal sexuality rather than die for fighting against it.

---

Ralph had finally begun to embrace his curiosity towards his read-headed rival. He no longer forbade himself to look at him. He figured that without civilization frowning down upon his interest in Jack, he'd be just fine. Back in England, being like that (as Maurice liked to say) would get you broken ribs, black eyes, and someone sneering vulgarities in your face. But it was different here. Ralph doubted that the other boys would make rude remarks if they find out that he'd taken a liking to their chief. They had already reached a state of emotional chaos and must have at least reflected upon what it would be like to interact with one another. How was this any different?

---

Several days later, Samneric informed Ralph that Jack left their tribe at the end of every day so he could "clear his mind". The fair boy couldn't see what this had to do with his mental struggle until they dropped a hefty fact. The twins guaranteed him that their leader spent an hour at the rocks on the beach creating more friction between his hand and another appendage than with his conflicting thoughts. Ralph never considered the idea that Jack was pleasing himself, but he had decided to see if the brothers were telling the truth.

"How do you know he's not doing something else?"

The twins grinned at each other before turning to face their previous leader.

"He comes back…"

"…all tired and happy…"

"We hear him sometimes…he's…"

"…real loud…"

"…very loud. He definitely…"

"…enjoys himself."

"Bill said that he walked by…"

"…and saw Jack moving his hands…"

"…very fast…"

"…extremely fast…and he was panting…"

"What else could that be?"

The evidence was not enough. He was going to see for himself.

---

When the sun was on the brink of setting, the fair boy set off to spy on the painted leader. Humidity smothered the air and made his travel difficult, but his determination outweighed his perspiration and gasps for air. It took him a little less than half an hour to reach the beach where Samneric predicted Jack would be. Sure enough, he was there. Ralph was smitten. He retreated several feet into the edging forest to remain hidden from Jack's vision and watched with eager eyes.

However, ferventness got the better of Ralph and he found himself approaching the border of the forest. Before he knew it, the sparse ferns beneath his feet had apparently turned to sand. It took him a moment to recognize that he must be on the beach within Jack's sight before he darted back into the brush. Regardless of his attempted stealth, he made some noise upon his return, which the other boy obviously heard. Anxiety replaced Jack's assumed arousal and he whipped his head around to investigate his surroundings. Jack pushed away a few strands of hair away from his forehead, but they stubbornly hung over his brow like stiff ginger weeds.

"Hullo?" he called out, presumably ashamed that someone might know of his purpose. Ralph crouched down so that his chest was parallel with the earth and hoped his body was hidden by the thick undergrowth. The fair boy could not understand if he was shaking from fright or overpowering levels of hormones. Jack repeated himself loudly, but Ralph only responded with panicked breathing that was swallowed by the rhythm of the ocean. Still cautious, Jack strode into the shallow area of water in front of him, pretending to be engrossed with various fish and seashells. After five minutes had passed, he grew calm again and made his way to the rocks.

Ralph bit down on his thumbnail and began grinding his teeth against its surface in anticipation. It wasn't until a few moments later that he felt an aching in his jaw and discovered he had worried part of his nail down to the quick. He strained a small whimper in his throat and looked up at the canopy crowning his head with layers of green. He could do as Jack supposedly did, but what would that achieve? It was like trying to tickle yourself: laughing is impossible because you know that your own hand is behind the sensations. Ralph needed someone else. He needed Jack.

Rejection failed to cross his mind as he bounded up from his hiding spot. The parasite's venom had changed from what it used to be; his original fear had transformed into a raw sexual necessity. He scrambled up the rocks and sprinted towards Jack, neglecting the pain rising in his feet from the jagged surface of the large stones. Jack turned around, frightened, and before he could protest, Ralph flung himself down beside him and slammed his mouth against his. Ralph was ecstatic at the buzzing in his head and the delight of having someone else's lips adjacent to his. For two seconds, he was off the island, away from the horrors and dread it thrust upon him. For two seconds he was safe and alive and on top of the world. For two seconds, he was free from the parasite. And before he knew it, those two seconds were gone.

Jack shoved Ralph onto the ground and wiped his mouth furiously. He was breathless, speechless, and most of all, he was absolutely repelled. He stared with wide eyes at Ralph, who lay unmoving on the rocks. Ralph's mouth was open in confusion. He glanced over at where Jack had been sitting and gasped. Several sticks were scattered among the rocks, and a thin stream of smoke was rising from a bundle of them.

Samneric were wrong.

The movements he used to create fire must have mimicked masturbation.

Fire…

Jack had been trying to make fire.

He'd been trying to create a signal.

He'd been trying to get them rescued.

"Jack…I thought…"

Ralph stuttered and scurried back a few inches in utter humiliation. He lowered his head and his chest heaved aggressively. Jack watched him weep, arms crossed, with no trace of compassion on his face. The air was quiet besides Ralph's awkward sobbing. How foolish of him to think that Jack would have actually kissed him back. Jack was a boy and boys weren't supposed to like each other beyond friendship. He'd made a mistake; his fear had pushed him here. The parasite had just cost him his dignity.

Jack finally broke the silence with three words that lashed at Ralph's heart.

"You thought wrong."

---

Author's note: Hey, everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself to the LOTF fanfic community. I'm Banisters, this is my second posted Lord of the Flies story, however, it was the first one I wrote, so yeah. Any comments would be fantastic.