The One Where Ginny Gets A Roommate
We start this story in a small, friendly coffee shop. Designed for comfort and the best coffee in London, the room was full of small chairs and tables,small booths near the windows and in the middle a large sofa and chairs with a long coffee table in the middle. No one could tell whether it was a living room or a restaurant. Currently, this was where four friends were sat discussing the incredible pathetic love life of Ginny Weasley.
"There's nothing to tell. He's just a guy I work with."
"Come on, you're going out with a guy. There's got to be something wrong with him." Neville Longbottom laughed, ignoring the death glare from Ginny.
"So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Harry Potter joined in, receiving the death glare and a smack to the back of his head.
Luna Lovegood sat up straight suddenly, "Wait, does he eat chalk?" After three confused and appalled looks in her direction she slumped back into her chair claiming "Just cus I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl, oh."
Ginny spoke in an attempt to defend herself. "Ok, everybody relax. This is not even a date. This is just two people going out to dinner and - not having sex."
"Sounds like a date to me." Harry said, smirking.
A sad-looking man stood behind the sofa where the four friends sat talking. "Hi." said Ron Weasley.
"Are you ok Sweetie?" Ginny looked up at her brother sympathetically. To the other three she said, "Susan moved her stuff out today." The rest of the group made sympathy noises towards Ron.
Ron sat down on the sofa next to Luna as Ginny got up to get a cup of coffee for Ron. "I feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it round my neck."
Staring intently at him, Luna started to pick at the air around where Ron was sitting. "No, no stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, ok? I'll be fine, alright? Really, I hope she'll be very happy."
"No you don't." Ginny contradicted.
"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!"
Neville leaned forward in his chair, "Come on Ron. You're single. Have some hormones!" he insisted.
"I don't want to be single, ok? I just- I just ... I just want to be married again!"
At that exact moment a very wet, bride came bursting into the coffee shop. She looked very flustered, confused and desperate. She walked quickly up to the counter as Ginny stood up from her seat and walked round behind her. "Hermione?"
The bride, Hermione Granger, turned around. "Oh God Ginny hi! Thank god! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this big guy with a hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!" Hermione wailed joyfully, putting her arms around a bemused Ginny. Ginny lead her towards the group, introducing everyone to her old friend. Hermione sat comfortably between Ron and Luna while Ginny perched herself on the arm of the sofa. Everyone stared at her, waiting for her to start talking.
When it was clear that she wasn't going to start on her own, Ginny got the ball rolling. "So do you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?"
"Oh God, well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was sitting in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden I realised that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Viktor! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me ... how much Viktor looks like Mr. Potato Head." All three boys listening to her story started to nod their heads as though they knew exactly what she was talking about. "You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but- " Hermione sighed heavily. "Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I just started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'" She looked up towards Ginny, "So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city."
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding?"
"Ohh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue- "
A while later, the group had moved themselves to Ginny's apartment. Hermione paced the kitchen on the phone to her father while the five others sat watching her intently.
"Daddy I'm sorry-I just can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him." Hermione had been on the phone for at least half and hour trying to convince him that the situation was for the best. "Uh, well it matters to me."
Twenty minutes later Hermione sat rocking on the sofa with a paper bag held against her face. Ginny sat opposite Hermione on the coffee table in the middle of the room while Luna was lent over the back of the sofa behind Hermione.
"Just breathe, breathe- that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things." Ginny said encouragingly.
"Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens- " Ginny and Hermione turned to look at Luna. "Doorbells and sleigh bells and something with mittens- la la something and noodles with string, these are a- "
"I'm all better now." Hermione said quickly.
Luna turned back towards the guys in the kitchen. "I helped." She said cheerfully.
"Hermione, look, this is probably for the best you know?" Ginny encouraged.
The buzzer next to the front door sounded and Harry walked over to get it. "Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound." He said.
Over the intercom and man said, "It's, uh, Paul."
Ginny stood up quickly, "Buzz him in!" she said excitedly.
"Who's Paul?" Harry said sitting down at the kitchen table.
"Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?" Ron asked.
"Maybe." Ginny said bashfully.
"Wait, your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?" Neville said, flinging his sandwich in her direction.
"He finally asked you out?" Ron said squeezing her shoulders.
"Yes!" Ginny smiled widely.
"Oh, this is a dear diary moment!" Harry smirked.
"Hermione, wait, I can cancel- "
"Please, no, go. I'll be fine!" Hermione replied, looking happy for the first time since she'd joined the group.
"Ron, are, are you ok? I mean, do you want me to stay?" Ginny asked.
Ron looked down at the cup in his hand and said in a choked voice, "That'd be good- "
"Really?" Ginny exclaimed in a horrified voice.
"No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!' He said again in his normal voice with a big smile on his face.
Ron moved over to where Hermione was sitting. "So Hermione, what are you, uh- what're you up to tonight?"
"Well, I was kind of supposed to be heading for Aruba on my Honeymoon, so nothing!" she ended with a smile.
"Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon. Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Harry and Neville are coming over to help me put together my new furniture."
"Yes and we're very excited about it." Harry said in a deadpan voice.
"Well actually thanks, but it's been a long day. I think I'm just going to hang out here tonight."
"Okay sure." Ron replied.
Neville looked over to Luna. "Hey Luna, do you want to help?"
Luna looked up and said, "Oh, I wish I could but I don't want to."
Ginny was sitting a small table in the corner of a casual restaurant with Paul. The conversation between them was easy and there was a definite attraction for both parties.
"Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh- " Paul stuttered, playing with his food.
Ginny was interested in what he had to say. "What? ...What, do you want to spell it out with noodles?" She laughed softly, wanting to encourage but not pressure his confession.
"No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kind of revelation."
Ginny looked pleased. "Oh," she said. "So there's gonna be a fifth date?"
"Isn't there?" Paul replied.
"Yeah- yeah, I think there is. What were you gonna say?" Ginny asked lifting her wine glass to her mouth.
Paul looked awkwardly towards his plate. "Well, ever- ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform- sexually."
Ginny, having just taken a sip of her wine, spit it out in shock. "Oh God, oh God, I am sorry- I am so sorry- "
"It's ok."
"I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now." Ginny picked up her napkin and started wiping Paul's shirt. "Um- how long?"
"Two years." Paul said bobbing his head. "So- you still think you might want that fifth date?"
Ginny paused, smiled and said "Yeah. Yeah I do."
The next morning saw Harry and Neville sitting at Ginny's kitchen table, having come across the hall from their own apartment. Hermione was bustling about them making coffee.
"Isn't this amazing?" she said. "I mean I have never made coffee before in my entire life."
"That is amazing." Harry said.
"Congratulations." Neville added. "Listen, while you're at it, if you feel like you've got to make a Western omelette or something- "After tasting the coffee and pouring it into the plant pot in the middle of the table, Neville ended his sentence, "although I'm really not that hungry."
Ginny came out of her bedroom followed by Paul. "Morning everyone." She said, leading Paul towards the front door, and pulling it shut as they stepped out together.
As they talked outside in low voices, Hermione and the two boys lifted the table and moved it closer to the door in an attempt to hear what was being said.
After a kiss and hug goodbye, Ginny re-entered the apartment.
"So that wasn"t a real date?" Neville said smugly. "What the hell do you do on a real date?"
Ginny smirked back at him. "Shut up and put my table back."
Harry and Neville did as they were told and waved goodbye to the girls. Sitting down next to Hermione, Ginny asked "So how are you today? Did you sleep ok? Talk to Viktor? I can't stop smiling."
"I can see that." Hermione replied. "You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth."
"Ok." Ginny stood up determinedly. "Ok. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just going to get up and go to work."
Ginny was true to her word. She got up, went to work and thought about Paul the Wine Guy all day long. Frannie, one of Ginny's co-workers, came in and began working next to Ginny.
"Hey Ginny." She said.
"Hey Frannie, how was Florida?" Ginny replied earnestly.
Frannie stopped her work and looked at her. "You had sex, didn't you?" she said.
Ginny stopped as well, looking incredulously at Frannie. "How do you do that?" she exclaimed.
"So? Who?"
"You know Paul?"
"Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah I know Paul." Frannie said with a knowing laugh.
Ginny stopped again, confused. "You mean you know Paul like I Know Paul?"
"Are you kidding?" Frannie said confidently. "I take credit for Paul. You know before me there was no snap in his turtle for two years."
Back in the coffee house, Ginny was once again being teased about her love life.
"Of course it was a line!" Neville started.
"Why? Why would anybody do something like that?" Ginny asked angrily.
Ron choose to answer and said, "I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'"
"Is it me?" Ginny asked sitting heavily down on the sofa. "Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?"
Luna, sitting on the floor, said, "All right, come here, give me your feet."
"I just thought he was nice, you know?"
Neville burst out laughing again. "I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!"
Ginny lifted her arm and pushed him off the sofa and onto the floor.
That evening, Ginny sat with Ron and Hermione watching a film. As the film finished she picked up the remote control and switched the TV off.
"Well, that's it." She looked over towards Ron. "You gonna crash on the couch?" she asked him.
"No. No, I've got to go home sometime." He replied rubbing his eyes.
"Will you be ok?"
"Yeah."
"Alright." She stood up stretching and began walking towards her bedroom. "Goodnight everybody."
"Night." Ron and Hermione said back. After a minute in silence looking awkwardly at each other, they both reached for the last cookie that sat on a plate on the table.
"Sorry- " Hermione said gesturing that to Ron that he should take the cookie.
"No no no, go-"
"No, you have it, really, I dont want- "
"Split it?" Ron suggested.
"Ok." Hermione agreed.
After giving Hermione a half of the cookie, Ron said, "You know, you probably didn't know this, but back in Hogwarts, I had a, uh, major crush on you."
"I knew." Hermione replied quietly.
"You did!" Ron looked even more awkward now.
"I just didn't want to ruin our friendship back then." Hermione continued.
"What about now?" Ron asked
Hermione smiled. "Not much of a friendship left anymore, is there?"
"No." Ron replied. After another minute in silence he continued to ask, "Listen, do you think, it'd be ok if I asked you out sometime, maybe?"
Hermione surveyed him quietly. "Yeah." She nodded.
"Ok- ok maybe I will." Ron said, in an attempt at confidence.
"Goodnight." Hermione said, placing her half of the cookie back on the plate.
Ron watched her go into the bedroom. Shoving his half into his mouth he stood up, smiled and strode confidently out the front door.
Hermione quickly settled into living with Ginny. Back in the coffee house a few days later, the three girls sat a one end of the sofa while the three guys sat at the opposite end, having a very serious discussion.
"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it." Ginny insisted.
"Yeah, right!" Neville laughed. After looking at their faces, "You serious?" he looked shocked.
"Oh, yeah!" Luna said
Hermione nodded her head. "Everything you need to know is in that first kiss."
"Absolutely."
Harry gestured towards the girls. "Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out."
"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket." Ron added awkwardly.
"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake." Harry said incredulously.
Hermione looked at Harry. "Yeah, well, word of advice. Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone." She lifted her hand and high-fived Ginny.
Neville leant towards Ron with a frown on his face. "Are we still talking about sex?"