A/N: This may not be good. I thought it up last night. And I wrote it last night, but the computer deleted every single word of it. Either way. I think this will help people out with writing. Hopefully.

Disclaimer: I own not of the Maximum Ride.

Claimer: I own this.

The Guidelines To Writing A Good Maximum Ride FanFiction

By the fact that you are reading this now, I'm going to assume you want help with writing. That or you're extremely bored and hope this will bring a laugh or two.

So readers, you've come to the right girl for all your needs! Seeing how I've written about 3 zillion fics, we can rightfully say that I've been there and done that.

LESSON ONE: IDEAS

Step One:

Brainstorm! No, this does not mean you need to dig up bodies and throw brains around. But that could be fun...

So you've decided to start writing fanfiction. Awesome! But what exactly should you write? Think, think, think. What should happen? Do you want Angel to spontaneously combust? Will it have a dab of romance? Are you going to kill off Max so Fang and Iggy can finally have that wild, crazy sex party?

Step Two:

Plan ahead.

Have a general idea of where you want to take it. And remember, ALWAYS be original. No one likes a copycat, especially the authors you're copying. (Trust me; I've had the same idea stolen four times and counting.)

LESSON TWO: GETTING STARTED

Step One:

Open a notebook, WordPad, WordPerfect, etc. It could help if you document your future literary genius.

Step Two:

Let the words flow.

If you have the gift, everything just comes. But if not, that's okay. The point is you're trying. Write like a rabid bunny will eat you alive if you don't.

LESSON THREE: STAYING IN CHARACTER

This is the biggest thing I stress. It's the most important part of the fic.

Step One:

Thoughts.

Say you're writing in Fang's POV. He's not going to be thinking "Whoa, man! Like, Max is so damn fine in her dirty jeans and tattered-in-all-the-right-places-if-you-catch-my-drift blouse. I'd so tap that." Sure, he's a hormonal male, but he's just not thinking that. Just like little Angel over there isn't worrying about the new 50 Cent CD.

If you ever have trouble with writing a certain POV, refer back to the books. By now, JP has written in every Flock member's POV.

Step Two:

Words and actions.

The Gasman is not going to comment on how pretty pink ponies are, just as Iggy isn't going to start screaming like a fangirl. Max won't fall at Fang's feet and Nudge won't be silent (unless her life is depending on it. Maybe.).

Learn this phrase and live by it: WWJPD? Translation: What Would JP Do?

LESSON FOUR: CLICHÉS

Clichés. You know, those plots and certain phrases you've read about twenty times.

Step One:

Recognizing those atrocious clichés.

See, you need to know what to look for. (Though it's usually painfully obvious.)

Here, I have compiled a list of the most common clichés I've seen.

-Fang saying a few sentences with the narration or Max pointing out how it was "such a speech for him" or any variation. Look, we get that Fang doesn't usually talk. But every fanfiction on the planet does not need to point it out. We have, in fact, read the books. Shocker, I know.

-Max suddenly turning into a glob of gooey love-sickness.

-Angel going evil. Come on now, kids. That's so old JP's even doing it!

-Max getting pregnant. I have seen so many about that. Talking about how it was a slip, it was only one time, blah blah blah. If you want to do something like that, make it your own. (Example: cloud64 having Max lay an egg.)

-One of the Flock suddenly getting healing tears/healing powers and miraculously giving Iggy his sight back. Or them just randomly running into another mutant with said powers. Never. Happening.

-The Flock meeting another flock. It is hard to do that without accidentally centering the story on your OC's.

-Naming your story "MR4" or "Doesn't have a title yet." You can write a whole fic, but you can't even think of a title? That comes with the territory of writing.

-Saying "I suck at summaries. lol. R&R." Chances are that if you say that, we won't read it. I know I usually avoid those. Just like the title thing, you can come up with something.

-Fang randomly confessing his undying love for Max. Again, OOC.

-Just plain old being unoriginal. You have a brain. Think for yourself.

-Doing a bit where Fang has read the entire dictionary. He wouldn't. No one in their right mind would. (I've done it on a dare. And let me tell you, you shouldn't. It's so boring.) Besides, if my sources are correct, Myrah (all hail to her greatness) started that. Right? Right. Even though she finds it amusing, it's really starting to get annoying to have that in every other story out there. Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Step Two:

Avoiding clichés.

Just don't do it. Like I said, be original and use your own brain. We want to read what you have brewing up there, not what that other guy has written. Chances are we've already read his. Now we want to hear from you. Yes, you.

I understand that it's impossible to read all the fics on this website and to avoid look alike stories. But if someone reviews or PM's you that you've "stolen their idea" try to compromise with them.

LESSON FIVE: MAINTAINING THE FIC/THREAD

Step One:

Keep writing.

Don't get discouraged when someone reviews and isn't worshiping the ground you walk on and the desk at which you sit. As a wise man once said, "To each his own." Meaning: That kid over there has the right to think your story sucks a big one. Ignore the bad, relish the good, accept the advice.

Though it is extremely hard not to get upset if someone is cussing your name to high heaven. Try to ignore it and respond as politely as you can manage.

Step Two:

Clogging the thread. (This step does not apply to the people that post on FF . net as they have no thread to maintain.)

It's okay to chat about the cool socks you just got. Go ahead and talk about your cats plotting world domination. But once your chapter to pages on the thread ratio has reached over 1:5, it's time to consider a Story Only thread. In other words: When you have five pages and one stub of an update, make a new thread where only you, the writer, post. And ONLY post your new chapters. It makes it easier on you and the readers.

LESSON SIX: CHAT SPEAK

Step One:

Proper usage.

If your character absolutely has to use chat speak in their dialogue/monologue, spell it out. Instead of OMG, it would be "oh em gee." You are showing that the character is saying that, and not omge.

Step Two:

Don't use it.

Avoid it. Unless it's completely necessary. Don't get lazy on us and say "OMG, I 3 u Fang!"

LESSON SEVEN: SPECIAL CASES

Step One:

Parodies.

In a parody, everything I've just mentioned is forgotten. Anything goes. You want Fang to be the king of Happy Pony Rainbow Land? Fine. Make sure you mention it's a parody, else some smart ass will rant about it.

Step Two:

Alternative alternative. (Yes, two alternatives.)

AKA: Really out-there formats. You're pioneering a new way to write? Okay. Do it. But you might want to mention that it's not normal.

LESSON EIGHT: FINISHING YOUR FIC

Step One:

Read all the reviews you've gotten thus far. (Or just a few if you're lazy.)

Sometimes you have those people that manage to find all your plot holes. Good. They should. This is where step two comes in.

Step Two:

Pretend you knew about those so-called "plot holes" all along.

In your final chapter, always wrap up every remaining loose end. Every plot hole should be filled in and every question answered, no ifs, ands, or buts.

LESSON NINE: THANK YOU NOTES

Step One:

Deciding the type of note you want, if any.

A thank you note is a post after the last chapter thanking your readers. Now, you can go the one-size-fits-all route and just in general say thanks for reading. (If you even decide to make one.)

Then there's the personal path. That's where you hunt down the name of everyone who has ever commented and list them. Say thanks. I personally write special things to the ones that stick out in my mind. It's amazing to see how many people read your story in the end.

Step Two:

Do it.

Hunt down those names. Write your note. Post it. I promise it makes everyone one feel special. They feel so awesome that you mentioned them that they usually forget that one last plot hole you forgot to fix.

LESSON TEN: BASKING IN THE GLOW

Step One:

Know you're good.

Because if you sucked so bad, you would have had so many flamers that your computer would mysteriously burn to little pieces. They must like you if they've kept reading. Know that you're not "craptastic" and understand that no one wants to listen to you whine and bitch and moan about how bad you are. They know you're fishing for compliments and they just might start believing you about the sucking part.

Step Two:

Know you're not a god.

You are, by no means whatsoever, a writing god. You are NOT the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yes, you are good. But you will not be remembered two centuries from now for having the best Maximum Ride fanfiction. No one likes a cocky, arrogant, son of a bit–, oh wait. Isn't this a PG13 place? I'm sorry. Let me correct myself. No one likes a big fat meaniehead. Is that better? I thought so.

Keep it humble, all.

Congratulations! You've finally finished this guide to writing for Maximum Ride. Now go out there and make your mark in the fandom.

Make me proud!

Sincerely,

Kiwi289/EdwardAddict.