This is dedicated to killah-sama, once again, because she's awesome, writes awesome fics, and it's her birthday in a few days. So, in short, this is a birthday present because I have nothing else to offer. Enjoy!
I was going to wait until I had the whole thing typed up, but I'm on the fourth chapter of it, so I think I'll be able to keep up with it. At the very least, I hope so.
Full summary[dedicated to killah-sama Set after the series. Krad and Dark are gone, but how will Satoshi and Daisuke handle the absence of that which has always been there? And what if, by chance, Satoshi released Dark from his prison and unintentionally got Krad in the deal? Could he re-seal the pair again, knowing that it would make Daisuke as miserable as he had been before?
Disclaimer: I do not own D N Angel or any of its characters, places, or events. (so formal, aren't I? Oh... just ruined it, damn)
Pairings: SatoshiDaisuke, KradSatoshi (onesided), DarkDaisuke (onesided), KradDark
Warnings: Angst, fluff, mental/emotional torture and aguish, Non-con
Rating: T for now (just so I don't have to keep changing it), M for later.
"Oh, Niwa-kun," Satoshi said, looking at the boy across the threshold of his front door, "Can I help you with something?"
Daisuke mumbled a reply and glanced away, scuffing his shoe on the cement step he was standing on. Finally looking back to Satoshi, he shook his head, "No... no, not really."
An eyebrow quirked at the redhead's strange behavior, "Well, you're the one that came to my house," he pointed out, "Did you want something?"
"No," Daisuke answered again, "I was just... walking, and I ended up around here and thought I'd drop by. That's all." And a lie at that, but Satoshi didn't need to know, not when he himself didn't really know why he'd set out to see the bluenette.
Satoshi studied his schoolmate for a while before giving a sympathetic look, "You're lonely, is that it?" His expression turned to one of amusement at the shocked one on Daisuke's face, "Well, it wouldn't be surprising. You were quite close to Dark, were you not?"
Dark. The name still upset him to hear, but he knew it was something he'd have to get over. He knew he would never see his other half again, and the fact stung. Satoshi couldn't understand how badly it hurt-- he hadn't had a good relationship with Krad. Sighing, the redhead nodded, "Yeah, I was."
"And you think I'll know how you feel, since I had the same connection with Krad," the bespectacled boy continued.
"I guess, but I know that's not true. You weren't close with Krad like I was with Dark-"
"That's not true," Satoshi interrupted, glancing down.
Daisuke blinked, "You two... were close?"
"Not in the traditional way, not like you and Dark, but anyone with such a relationship as we had is bound to become... accustomed to the presence." Even though Krad would call him weak (and he'd agree) for such thinking, Satoshi couldn't help but feel that way. The homicidal angel had made more of an impact on him than he had expected.
Daisuke wasn't sure what to make of this, but he was fairly certain that Satoshi missed Krad, at least in some sense. He nodded in agreement, "I guess that's why I came here."
"What do you expect me to do about it?" the bluenette wondered, "I'm not one to offer condolences."
Is that what he had hoped would happen? That he'd go running to Satoshi, and the blue-eyed boy would accept him with open arms and help him to cope with his loss? Did he think just because he understood that he'd care? Daisuke shook his head, "I guess I wasn't thinking."
Satoshi studied his friend for a few moments before moving aside. At the smaller boy's confused look, he rolled his eyes, "Come on in, it'll be raining soon."
Red eyes were cast up to the heavens and sure enough, there were storm clouds gathering overhead. "Thanks," he said, summoning a small smile and making his way inside.
"My father's out of town for now, so there won't be anyone but us here," Satoshi informed him as they walked along the entrance hall to the living room, "Are you hungry?"
Daisuke figured that it was simple hospitality instead of real kindness that made the other boy act so formal. He shook his head again, "No, I'm alright." In all honesty, he hadn't had much of an appetite since that night, but no one needed to know. The only thing it would do was worry them, and that was the last thing Daisuke wanted or needed.
Satoshi nodded and motioned to a seat, sitting himself in an armchair as Daisuke did the same. An uncomfortable and very (understatedly) awkward silence settled over them and both avoided looking at the other. Daisuke nibbled at his bottom lip, and looked as if he meant to say something, but words never came. Every now and then, Satoshi would dare a look at his redheaded friend, but the latter was always occupying himself with looking at a piece of art that adorned the walls.
Finally, Daisuke stood from his seat and offered Satoshi another smile, "I should be going, it's getting late."
The bluenette nodded slightly and sighed as his schoolmate headed back to the front door. A glance at a clock hanging on the wall told him it was only about five o'clock. Deciding to beat around the bush no longer, he followed the smaller one, "Niwa-kun."
Daisuke blinked and turned around, nearly to the door already. "Yes?"
Satoshi didn't stop advancing until he was only a foot away from the other boy, "What did Dark do for you?"
"Do...for me?" Daisuke repeated, confused, "He didn't do anything for me, I mean... he was kind of self-centered like that, I guess, but he wasn't rea-"
"No," Satoshi cut him off quickly, shaking his head, "How did he make you feel? What did he give you that made him so special?"
"Oh," Daisuke whispered, looking down again, "I... he was always there to talk to, and he always offered advice, even if it wasn't in the most... helpful of ways at some times. I don't know how to explain it, he was just like..."
"Your other half," Satoshi filled in for him, understanding better than anyone the phrase. Krad had been, without a doubt, his other half, too. As Daisuke was kind and good-intentioned like Dark, Satoshi was both cold and manipulative like his worser half.
Daisuke nodded, "Yeah, but Hiwatari-kun?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you ask?"
Satoshi blinked and tilted his head, "Well, you came here to talk, right? For...comfort? You were going to leave and we didn't even say two words to each other." In honesty, Satoshi would have been just as content to let the redhead go, but something was telling him that later, it would be worth the trouble now.
"I guess so," the younger boy admitted sheepishly, smiling slightly, "Thanks, Hiwatari-kun. I'll see you later."
The bespectacled boy watched as his friend walked out the door, "We still said barely anything," he thought, sighing again. Perhaps Daisuke wasn't quite ready to talk yet, but only thought he was. The only problem was, Satoshi wasn't sure he was the one to offer advice. After all, he was glad that his other half had been sealed away, never to return.
---
Daisuke lay in his bed, staring at the blank ceiling with equally blank eyes. He couldn't sleep, and hadn't been able to for quite some time. The only blips of unconsciousness he did get was when he reached his limit and finally passed out from exhaustion. The bad part was that those times were usually during school, and his grades were slipping. He heard whispers of everyone behind his back, muttering about how he wasn't looking good and that maybe he was sick or depressed.
"Depressed," he thought, laughing dryly to himself, "They'd be depressed, too." It was like losing a member of the family, but more intimate. He thought perhaps he knew now how a twin felt when their sibling died. His relationship with Dark had been a cross between a love and a friendship, and he wasn't sure what he had quite felt for his darker half.
He then began thinking of everyone he had relationships with: His mother, his father and grandfather, Towa and With, Saehara, Risa, Riku, and all his classmates. And, of course, Satoshi. What he felt for all of them was something just a little bit different.
His mother, he felt a child's love, while his father he felt a pride and admiration for. His grandfather he merely felt a great deal of respect and amazement for. Towa and Wiz were like family to him as well, and he saw them more as (younger) siblings than anything else; those who he cared a great deal for, but sometimes got to be a tad annoying.
Saehara was his best friend and he couldn't imagine not seeing the brunette's grinning face every day at school, and the twins were almost more dear to him than anyone else. Risa was his first love, and it was said over and over again (so that even he started to believe it) that Riku was his true love, his Holy Maiden.
But if he already had a love, and a best friend, and siblings, then what was Satoshi? He was more than just a friend (even more than a best friend), and Daisuke didn't feel for him like he did his family. He felt distanced from him, but also very close-- like he had with Risa and Riku both, unable to tell them everything about himself (and still) while wanting to so badly. Satoshi, however, already knew; Daisuke had nothing to fear and nothing to hide.
The redhead groaned as thoughts swarmed his head and buried his face in his pillow. With cracked an eye open and shifted his position on the boy slightly, then settled back to sleep. After every thought in the world ran through his head, Daisuke concluded that he had no idea what Satoshi was to him or what he felt for him.
"What did Dark do for you?" That question had been so easy, but what did Satoshi do for him? Would he be his saving grace, his confidant? Could he be everything that Dark was and just a little bit more, or would he leave like his angel had, never to return? Unsure of anything anymore, Daisuke rolled over, disturbing With (who chose the windowsill as a resting place instead), and stared at the mirror opposite his bed. Even in his sleep-deprived state, not a glimpse of Dark's grinning face appeared in the glossy surface.
Yay for emotional torture! Poor Daisuke's so confused, trying to replace Dark and look for something different at the same time. And Satoshi's got his own problems to deal with, too, as well as not really wanting to help Daisuke out. Aw, I'm sure he'll come around, though. Perhaps. XD, hope you enjoyed!