One Last Memory
When the snake struck, he knew it was the end. All was lost. He had failed Dumbledore, himself, and more importantly, Lily. Suddenly he saw a shadow move and a sudden burst of anger shot through his body. Was Voldemort going to come watch him suffer until his final moments? Mock him in death?
He saw that the shadow was Potter, who was holding a cloak, no doubt the same cloak that his father wore. He felt the anger build again, but one last idea nudged at the back of his mind. A spark of hope lit up in his eyes. Maybe…just maybe…
He began recalling all his moments with Dumbledore. As he started from his most recent conversation with Dumbledore's portrait, he remembered each memory more clearly and vividly until the very day when he had come to Dumbledore begging for help…
"…he thinks it means Lily Evans!"
With a strangled gasp, he suddenly saw flashes of Lily everywhere…when they had first met…at the Hogwarts Express…the sorting…his worst, most embarrassing memory…their fight after he had been humiliated…everything.
He swore inwardly. Everything was coming out, even the private memories he didn't want Potter to see. Unfortunately, they leaked out anyway and he saw Potter staring at him, astonished.
"Take…it…"
He glared at the boy, trying to form words with his mouth, but all that came out was more blood and memories. If he was going to give the boy his memories, they wouldn't be wasted. The idiot Potter boy was doing nothing more than gawking at him. For such a famous person, that little brat had no more brains that a mealworm.
Finally, he saw another shadow step out from the darkness. Potter's friend. At least she had some sense of logic. She conjured up a flask, and Potter slowly collected the flowing memories.
As the seconds slowly ticked by, he whispered, "Look…at…me…" He saw Potter's brilliant green eyes…no, they were Lily's beautiful eyes. At that second, he involuntarily gave one last trickle of a pale, silvery blue substance from his eyes. He prayed that Potter would mistake it as a tear and not as a memory.
He felt death looming nearer and nearer as he loosened his grip on the boy's robes. He let his hand fall, and everything started to become blurry and unfocused. He saw Potter stay at his side, but after that, he knew no more. Everything went black.
xXx
"Mrs. Potter, would you like a few moments to yourself before you go down?"
"Yes, please, Karen. And I'm still Ms. Evans at the moment."
"Yes, yes, Ms. Evans. We'll all be waiting in the main hall when you're ready."
"Thank you, Karen."
Severus Snape opened his eyes to stare up at a blank, white ceiling. One very different from the Shrieking Shack. Yet, it was familiar. He found himself lying on the floor in the same position he had been in just a few minutes before. Or was it hours? Or days?
Cautiously, he sat up and looked around. He gave a start at the sight of a young, nervous looking Lily Evans. What the…? Suddenly a large shape apparated right behind Lily. Severus scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide as he realized what was happening. He was in his own memory. The very memory that Potter had not taken.
"Lily," Memory-Severus whispered.
She spun around, anxiously. When she saw his face, she relaxed. "Oh, Sev! You came!" She hugged him tightly and he stiffly returned it.
"I'm not staying. I just wanted to wish you luck with…him," he replied, his last word bitter.
"Sev, where have you been? I've missed you. I know we haven't spoken since our seventh year, but I've missed being with you. We have so much catching up to do!"
He gave her a sad, despondent smile. "I've been away at business. I got your owl about the wedding so I just decided to make one last visit before you get married." He sighed and added, "I've missed you too."
"What's wrong, Sev? You're acting so depressed."
He looked away for a moment. "You're getting married to Potter."
"So?" Her eyes were wide with confusion.
He turned sharply and stood at the window, looking out at the clear, blue sky. "I thought you hated him."
She frowned, but he couldn't see it, for his back was facing her. "I never hated him. I disliked him. But people change. He's not so bad, Sev. Get to know him. I'm sure you two will end up friends."
He gave a mirthless laugh. "I highly doubt that. I tend to avoid making personal friends."
She came up behind him, her dress trailing behind him. "But I'm your friend.
He stiffened once more and turned suddenly. "Please, Lily. Don't marry him."
She stared at him. "What? Why?"
"Lily. Please, just don't."
"Sev, I can't do that. Why don't you just stay for the wedding. For me? Please, Sev, today's my big day. Please don't make me rethink this. I've already thought about this a million times over."
He sighed and shook his head. "Just…never mind. I have to go now."
"Come on Sev, please. Just stay for a few minutes. James and his friends have really changed. They're not going to be the jerks they were at school. They're much more civil than that now."
"I'm sorry Lily, but I truly doubt that. Potter will always be the arrogant arse that I've known him to be."
Her eyes flashed. "Sev, that's my future husband you're talking about."
"I know, exactly. He's not good enough for you." He closed his eyes, and it was visible that he was regretting saying that.
"Oh really? And who is then?" she asked evenly.
"God, Lily. Don't make this harder for me than it already is."
"Make what harder? Sev, you're not making any sense. What's going on with you?"
He held her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "I love you, Lily."
She took a step back as his hands fell from her. Her mouth opened as if to argue, but nothing came out.
Agonizing silence filled the room.
Finally, she replied quietly, "It's a little too late for that, don't you think, Sev?"
He stared at her for a minute. "It's never too late for anything, Lily."
She bit her lip and turned away, wiping a stray tear furiously. "You can't do that to me, Sev. You can't just come to me on my wedding day and tell me you love me and completely screw everything up. You can't."
There were a few more moments of silence, and he said, "Lily, I'm sorry."
"No! You can't just say that and expect me to get over it, Sev." Tears were falling freely now as she turned to face him. "Do you know what it's been like?"
He stared at her, not knowing what to say.
"No, Sev, you don't. You don't know how broken-hearted I was after our seventh year, after our friendship fell apart. You don't know how hard it is to live through all those years, wondering where you were, what happened to you, whether or not you were even still alive. You don't know," her voice cracked, "how terrible it was to go through all those years wondering, but never knowing, and yet, I still loved you."
Her eyes pierced through his, sending a cold rush through his body.
"I'm really sorry, Lily. I really am. I—You were right. I shouldn't have ruined your perfect day. It was my fault that we fell apart, and it was my fault that I never spoke to you after that."
She said nothing.
"Well then, I suppose I should go. I don't want to hurt you any further. Good-bye, Lily."
Before he knew what was happening, she pulled him towards him and kissed him. It was bittersweet, his first, as well as last, kiss.
"Good-bye, Sev," she whispered after she finally let go. With her last words, the world faded, and the real Severus stood, staring into darkness.
"Good-bye, Lily."
"Now why would I say bye now?"
He slowly turned around to face Lily, no longer in a wedding dress, but looking as young and as beautiful as ever. She pulled him into a crushing embrace.
"I love you, Sev."
"I love you, too, Lily."
A/N: I hate the ending. Tell me what you think.
♥lazer-angel♥