Okay, I've had this stuff written for months now, and just decided since you guys have left me such nice comments, I should put it up for you all to see! Basically the 'plot' of this is the SHM living with their Niisan post AC (he saved them, duh :P) and discovering things about human life. This was supposed to be a story, but I got random ideas while in the process of typing it and made little one-shots. So each 'chapter' will be a one-shot about something random happening to the SHM, or mostly Kadaj cuz he's great to make fun of! (Even though I love him). This is meant for humorous purposes and there might be moments when they're OOC but hey, it's not like they're naturally jolly so it happens! Anyway, this is inspired by my best buddy Caitlin with her randomness, and I hope you guys all enjoy! This will stay In-Progress since I get random ideas now and then…..and if you get any you'd like me to type about, lemme know! There is no yaoi in this, and when there are times that Kadaj says "I love you" it doesn't mean that in a romantic way, it means in a family way, like when you say it to your mom or something, since Cloud is kinda like their daddy. XD And kisses on the cheek and forehead are fluffiness okay?! I mean come on, if you've read my other fics, you know I can't resist SOME contact between Kadaj and Cloud. As usual I own nothing but the retarded plots and Modern Human Life for Dummies (you'll know what that is after reading the intro). Newayz, read it, have fun, maybe laugh…….even a giggle is good enough for me!
It had been around three months since the blonde swordsman had taken the remnants into his care. Using every bit of gil he could find, he bought a decent sized apartment for them to all live comfortably. However, it took awhile before they actually settled down.
There were only three bedrooms, so it was an argument who would sleep where. The master one was automatically given to Cloud, since Kadaj stated he was the one working to provide for them and deserved his own space. That left two rooms; so two of the silver haired men would have to share a bedroom. The blonde suggested Loz keep one to himself, while Yazoo and Kadaj share the other one.
The arrangement seemed to work out, until Cloud was hearing them bicker nearly every day.
"Why do I always have to make the bed? You sleep in it too!"
"Because I get up before you do!"
"Oh please. You got up at noon yesterday. Would it kill you to take five minutes of your life-?"
"Why are you so obsessed with making beds? What's the point of making it if you're going to go back to sleep later and mess it up again anyway?"
The gunman growled in annoyance.
"Also, I nearly tripped over your boots this morning! There's a closet- use it!"
"I don't want to put them away if I'm going to wear them again! That's a waste of time!"
Cloud was luckily able to step in at the right moment, as he was afraid if he arrived any later, Yazoo would have strangled Kadaj to death.
By the looks of it, the quiet older brother was keen about keeping things neat and organized. However, his younger sibling was more of the type to kick his shoes off somewhere and leave them there until he needed them again.
So on that day, the deliveryman told the aggravated youth to stay in Loz's room instead. Unfortunately that didn't work out well either.
That night, Kadaj came into Cloud's room around midnight, disturbing the sleeping man.
"Kadaj…what is it?" he asked groggily.
"Can I sleep with you Niisan?"
"Why?"
"Loz snores too loudly. He's kept me up for the past hour."
Being too tired to care, the blonde simply nodded and let the teen slide in next to him. When he woke up in the morning though, Kadaj had somehow moved himself onto the swordsman's chest.
"Kadaj…"
The teen's reply was a sleepy mumble.
"Kadaj, I can't get up with you laying on me."
"So don't get up then."
"I need to go to work."
When the youth refused to move, Cloud got up anyway, causing Kadaj to fall off him and onto the floor. He was met with the teen's glare.
"Why did you do that for!?"
"I told you to get off."
With that said, the spiky-haired man continued his morning procedure while leaving Kadaj on the floor.
So that arrangement wouldn't work out either.
Finally, Cloud decided to give Kadaj his room and he would sleep on the couch. They all started complaining immediately.
"But you work too hard Niisan! That's not fair," Loz started.
"You can take my bed," Yazoo offered.
"I'll sleep on the couch!" Kadaj suggested.
"You should. This is your fault anyway," the longhaired man snapped at his younger brother, who glared back at him.
"From the way things have been going, you'll probably complain about the couch too. It's ok, I don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's comfy," Cloud said, hoping to persuade them.
"So it is my fault…"
The saddened youth looked at the floor.
"If you weren't so immature about things-"
"Quiet Yazoo!"
They all turned to look at the eldest brother. He never talked much and never told anyone to be quiet, especially Yazoo. But the middle brother followed the command and kept his mouth shut.
Sighing, Cloud took Kadaj onto his lap and kissed his forehead, hoping to cheer him up. Dealing with a hotheaded teenager was already enough, let alone an ego bruised one.
"It's not your fault. I just want us all to be comfortable. And I will be comfortable on this couch. Okay? I don't want to hear anything else about it."
The former puppets sighed but made no attempt to argue.
"Okay."
"Good. Now what's with those faces? Come on, I'll get you guys ice cream or something."
The morose faces turned into happy ones, as they looked at their oldest brother.
"Thank you Niisan!"
They all proceeded to hug Cloud, before following him out the door. A few minutes later, they returned and settled down to eat their ice cream in front of the TV.
'Hmm…...maybe I should buy them ice cream more often,' the swordsman thought to himself, smiling.
After that scenario, everything seemed quite fine. They all slept comfortably, especially Kadaj since he had the entire master bed to himself now. He was quite messy though; shoes were left askew, clothes were on the floor, or on the desk, and the blonde couldn't recall the bed being made since the rebel occupied the room.
"Hey Kadaj…...would you mind cleaning up your room a bit?" Cloud asked the teen at breakfast one day.
"Why?"
"Well, I gave up my comfy big bed for a couch so you could be comfortable. The least you could do is keep it neat. Otherwise, you can sleep in Yazoo's room instead."
The teen's eyes widened slightly as his older brother smirked. Without a word, he rushed off to his room.
From then on, Kadaj made it a weekly habit to straighten out his room.
As time went on, Cloud eventually took them shopping. It was an odd and funny experience, but they all got what they wanted. As they were leaving, they passed by a bookstore. It got Yazoo's attention, and he went to look inside for a moment. Coincidentally, there happened to be a book on the front shelf labeled Modern Human Life For Dummies. Curious, the middle brother picked up the book, and read the title page.
Have you lost touch with reality, possibly due to too many mako injections? Been asleep for thirty years? Or are you possibly one of Sephiroth's remnants?
The gunman looked at the book with a confused look on his face. How did the book know that?
If you are, then this is the book for you! It explains everything having to do with modern human life, including emotions, jobs, electronics, music, even food! You'll know everything you'll need to know to survive by reading this book! Besides, aren't you tired of asking "What's that?"
Well that was true.
So turn the page and be clueless no more! NOTE: If you happen to be a Sephiroth remnant, please don't get any ideas on how to destroy humanity. We are not responsible if such things occur so don't bother suing!
Feeling offended, Yazoo glared at the book, but it would quite handy to have. After all, knowing nothing all the time was quite annoying. Getting some gil from Cloud, he purchased the book and started reading it immediately.
He would never know how useful that book would truly become.
Heh heh. XD Betcha I'd make millions off of that book. :P Well there you go! The randomness begins with the next chapter!! Reviews appreciated!!