AN: I'm sorry it's been a while. I had writer's block with this particular story. But I'm back and in color! Enjoy. : )

Lady of the Flame

THE IMMENSE PAIN of birth was something I was accustomed to, since I had borne Zuko. But the sheer agony of Azula's birth was something I could barely take. During the ordeal I wondered if I had ever felt a greater pain in my life or if maybe this would take my life. But I stubbornly refused, for I couldn't leave my husband behind, nor my son. I can hardly describe the sweet relief I felt once she was born.

As I held her tiny body in my arms I was overcome with emotion. Here I held my precious daughter whom I hoped would have all the happiness that I did. She squalled incessantly, and Ozai couldn't help but chuckle at her indignation.

He took her from my arms and cradled her to his breast. She calmed immediately. I felt slightly miffed by this, since Zuko had calmed once he was in my arms. Nor did he cry as loudly and hysterically as Azula did. I shrugged off the strange thoughts that had occurred to me, and I pleaded for Ozai to give her back to me.

He cooed several more times at Azula, which touched me, before reluctantly handing her back. She woke immediately in my arms and began screaming. I was already exhausted, and tears stung at my eyes. Was there something wrong with my daughter? Perhaps she was just going to be a colicky baby?

Ozai took her, concerned as well, but she quieted once again. And we both shared a glance of confusion. "I suppose she likes you." I finally managed to say. I was disappointed, but was too tired to do or say much else, or to even look much father into it.

"I suppose so." Ozai answered, unable to keep the smile off of his handsome face as he cradled our daughter. He leaned in to me, kissing me gently. "Rest now, Ursa. You've earned it."

I sighed blissfully, deeply in love with husband, as I sank into sleep.

ZUKO WAS VERY excited about the birth of his new baby sister. He always wanted to hold her, touch her little face, and have her close. I smiled at this, for I knew he'd be a good older brother. I had been worried that Zuko would not take to a new member of the family, but he'd proven to me that I had nothing to worry about.

He was also an exemplary son, for he knew I was tired and weak after giving birth to Azula. Zuko would bring me gifts every day, small tokens such as flowers or a drawing he made for me. He always had something nice to say to me, that I was still very pretty, even though I didn't have the energy to put any make up on or make myself presentable.

Once it became apparent that Azula indeed was a colicky baby, he did his best to help me. Though he was only two, he offered to hold her and rock her and to let me rest. I usually declined, though I thanked him for being so sensitive. It wasn't Zuko's duty to be a mother to his own sister.

But soon enough, Azula's colicky nature began to exhaust me. As I healed from giving birth I strove to tend to her at all times, and refused a nanny, as I had done with Zuko. At times, when I was reeling from exhaustion since Azula had kept me up all night, I felt like crying myself. There were occasions where I had to leave her in someone else's care, for I feared that I'd throttle her.

Ozai noticed my hysteria and depression, something he was unaccustomed to. I had always been a happy and content wife and mother before. He suggested that perhaps I should employ a nanny so I could keep my sanity. I was happy to see that my husband, whom I loved dearly, was so supportive of me. I felt this to be permission to not have to be perfect. I called upon a nanny to be on call every other night and on the days she wasn't on night call.

My life became somewhat easier after that, and I began to devote more time to Zuko once more. Although he'd been a sweet child when I tended to Azula, he seemed to flourish even more now that I gave him my complete attention. I knew then that he'd missed me and my mothering deeply.

As Azula grew, Zuko strove to be a good brother. He'd make her little gifts, give her little sentiments, and try to play with her whenever he got the chance. Azula, seemingly amused by him at first, became disinterested in Zuko's playing. She seemed intent, instead, on her father. This bothered me and upset Zuko, though he never took it out on Azula. He only continued to try to be the best brother he could be.

Azula weaned herself from me while very young, and chose to shadow her father whenever she could. It was almost amusing to see her crawl after him wherever he went. Soon enough, she began to push herself to walk, and would scream incessantly for Ozai the moment she fell. He'd pick her up and take her with him just to get her to cease her crying.

Soon enough, Azula taught herself to walk and continued to follow Ozai everywhere. She became interested in everything Ozai was involved with. He even began to bring her to war councils, and she began babbling in her baby speak about attacking this town or that of the Earth Kingdom.

I disapproved, of course, but Ozai dismissed my concerns. He felt that she was only a baby, and wouldn't retain any of this as she grew older. And besides, Azula was calm and peaceful in her father's presence and seemed to dislike normal childish games and toys.

Then, a pivotal day came where, while Azula was only a toddler, she imitates a Firebending move Ozai did while he was training. Ozai, overjoyed at her actions, took her to the fortuneteller. He inspected Azula thoroughly and prophesized that Azula would be a Master Firebender, her prowess unsurpassed.

I felt disconcerted about all of this, and felt that Ozai was focusing too much on Azula and her accomplishments. I felt he was ignoring Zuko more, now that Azula had shown her prowess at a younger age than Zuko had. It was almost unfortunate that Zuko, a normal child more interested in games than fighting, was ignored because of his sister's abnormal ambitions.

I expressed my concerns to Ozai, but he ignored me. It was becoming routine, almost, that Ozai ignored me when it came to his ambitions of fighting in the war and teaching Azula more Firebending than was appropriate for her young age. Her first words had been 'Fire Lord' for Agni's sake!

To make up for it all, I paid more attention and put more of myself into Zuko. I taught him all of my philosophies; how to appreciate life, personal accomplishments, and about honor. Ozai seemed to neglect him, so I vowed that he'd have all of my love. I became like Ozai in this way, lavishing attention on Zuko as I neglected Azula.

I was disappointed to see that having a daughter was not everything I had thought it would be. Perhaps I had been placing too many expectations upon Azula, and wanted her to be someone she was not. But I knew this wasn't true, since most children didn't have the drive for power and glory that she did.

Most little girls, in fact, would be content to play with dolls, play dress up, and have tea and 'girl time' with their mothers. I fondly recalled such moments with my own mother as a young child. But it was not meant to be with Azula and I, it seemed.

I began to contemplate having another child. Zuko was nearly five, and Azula was going to be three soon enough. If I were to have another child, it would have to be soon as to keep the age gap small.

But as I watched Zuko play with Lu Ten happily, I reconsidered. If I had another child, would they become like Azula? To have another daughter or son be as indifferent to me as Azula was…it would be a great pain to bear.

On the other hand, I could have another daughter or son that would be as beautiful and wonderful as Zuko…that would bring me ultimate joy. Such a debate went on within me for weeks, until I finally came to the conclusion that Zuko would be enough for me and that I should not tempt fate.

I went to an herbalist and began drinking teas that would discourage pregnancy. I didn't tell Ozai, nor did he and I ever discuss having another child. Azula was, it seemed, my second and last child. I both regretted it and was glad.

My relationship with Ozai, unbeknownst to me, had changed when Azula was born. But now, almost three years later, I recognized it for what it was. He seemed to forget me, or just ignore me. His own ambitions kept him form truly seeing me, his own wife.

I was grateful that he did not take a concubine, as was socially acceptable at the time. At least then I knew that I was at least satisfying him intimately. And he still tended to me at night before we slept. But after pleasure passed through both of us, he'd fall asleep immediately, neglecting to hold me in his embrace.

I wondered if maybe I was just less attractive, since was now the mother of two young children. I confessed this to Iroh, who assured me that I was indeed very lovely, and he would have married me himself, had he not met his deceased wife. He made me blush like a young girl when he said that.

Zuko, who had been playing quietly beside us at the time immediately looked up and told me that he would marry me if his father didn't make me happy. I fought a laugh and kissed his forehead, telling him he wouldn't want to marry me. I was old, I told him.

He replied that I couldn't be old since I didn't have wrinkles like Uncle Iroh. Iroh laughed heartily at this, and stood to chase Zuko, playfully commanding him to take it back. Once he caught Zuko and tickled him mercilessly, Zuko apologized.

It was small moments like this that made me happy and content with my life. Iroh, Zuko, and even Lu Ten were shinning stars in my life. Without them, I wasn't sure what I'd do, or where I'd be. They were my pillars of support throughout my difficult times with Ozai and Azula.

Because of this, I decided to draw strength from them and become a more assertive and emotionally strong person. Little did I know it would help me in the future, and also become my downfall.