AN: I snapped. I got sick of cliché romantic comedies. It's going to be a BUTT-kicking, NUT-crunching romantic comedy, dammit!

Disclaimer: The Inuyasha characters do not belong to me. The crazy idea, however, is my own. HA! I WIN!

So NOT A Fairytale

The PLAN

I was sick of it.

I was abso-effing-lutely sick of it.

Let me start from the beginning…

I am Higurashi Kagome, or Kagome Higurashi to you lovable westerners, and I am the illegitimate half-sister of Princess Kikyo Higurashi and Princess Kaede Higurashi.

Before you start pitying me (or insulting me, whichever suits you, bub) I have to make it clear that it's not all that terrible. Except for all the sneers and snide remarks, I get the royal benefits and the unconditional love of my half-siblings. Did I also mention they cover dental and mental healthcare? Plus, I wasn't alone in this. I also have a little brother, Souta, who's just as illegitimate as I am.

Except he was born a boy.

And the King, Kikyo and Kaede's father, actually PAID his wife's lover, me and Souta's dad, because he wanted to call Souta his own. Apparently a male heir was worth more than a real relationship.

Seriously. Kings these days…

Anyhow, Souta ended up becoming the crown prince of this kingdom and Kikyo and Kaede became his "official" siblings. Everyone knew I was related to all of them, but I still ended up becoming their personal servant.

Eh. Oh well.

Things went swimmingly till my 15th birthday (goodbye inner child, hello libido). Kikyo's two years older than me, so she was 17 when she met…the creepy, freaky Naraku Onigumo. I don't know why she let him court her—personally I think it was out of pity. Anyhow, she realized he was just plain weird and made sure her father knew she had no intentions of marrying the creep.

He didn't stop courting her, though. He was…a bit out of it. He kept coming to our castle, and I'd have to come up with clever excuses my grandfather would normally come up with when he had to go to meetings. Souta and Kaede disliked the weirdo as much or more than I did, so I wasn't alone in my suspicions when Kikyo suddenly developed mysterious bruises on her arms.

Kikyo is a proud woman, you know, so she'd never admit to a stalker taking advantage of her…but really, the signs were there. She couldn't sleep at night, couldn't eat well, couldn't concentrate at all… but dammit her pride forced her to refuse any help.

I was sick of it.

SICK OF IT.

That was when I decided.

She needed a prince.

FAST!

And voila! I found the King's list.

Being the personal servant of the crown prince and princesses meant I was allowed access to all of the rooms. So when I went into the King's office as casually as I did every other day, I had no qualms over shuffling through his drawers.

And that's when I found the list. The list of Kikyo's potential suitors. Who was at the top of the list, you ask?

Inuyasha Taisho. Half-demon and second to the throne of the west.

Kikyo was the princess of the east. West was the strongest and largest kingdom of them all. East meets west—the perfect alliance.

Inuyasha…yes, I'd heard rumors about the guy. He was overly protective and hot tempered. I couldn't really see 17-year old Kikyo with 15-year old Inuyasha, but he was a half-demon and Kikyo had a soft spot for them Halflings; after all, Naraku was a half-demon and she'd given him a chance.

Overly protective…

Kikyo would never admit it, but she needed that right now.

And I mean RIGHT NOW.

I grinned.

I knew exactly what I had to do.

AN: Click. Review. You know you want to.