A/N: Hi, everybody. Um, yeah I'm probably not going to update tomorrow, unless it's a drabble or something. Really sorry, guys. Or, I might update a sort of brother-fic to this, where it's the morning at Red base.
On a completely unrelated note, if these guys were to, say, go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, what houses do ya think Doc and Lopez would get sorted into? Just, you know, throwing that predicament out there…
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: T
Pairings: Heavy Donut/Caboose, Mentioned Tex/Sarge, and slight, hinted at Tucker/Church
Summary: It's morning, the blondes are making out, Church can't find a spoon, Tucker is amused, and Tex has better people-er, things to do.
Warnings: Slash, het, mentions of disturbing sexual content, making out, coffee, cursing, spoons.

Regular Morning Rituals and Antics
(At Blue Base)

Church yawned and stretched simultaneously as he walked into the kitchen; he cared very little that the only clothes covering his body were white-and-blue-stripped boxers and a gray undershirt.

"Morning, Church," Donut greeted, chipper as always. In the seat over, Caboose echoed him.

The older man grunted in reply as he reached groggily reached up into a cabinet and took out a box of cereal at random. Ignoring the twin giggles coming from the two at the table, he found a bowl and cup, then served himself some coffee.

"So, Caboose, tonight I was thinking that maybe just me and you should do…something," the Red soldier hinted suggestively, running a finger down the older man's broad chest. The other blonde nodded vigorously, knowing exactly-for once-what he was talking about.

"Tch," Church scoffed while he poured the cereal into his bowl, not quite able to ignore the couple early in the morning. They could tune him out, however, as they flirted wordlessly.

Church, rolling his eyes, went to the other side of the table with his breakfast and sat down. Realizing he forgot to get a spoon, he got up again and rummaged through the drawers. He came up with anything but what he was looking for.

"Goddamn…"

"I can probably sneak out of the base around eight. That fine?" Donut asked Caboose.

"Mother fucking…"

"Uh-huh," the larger blonde assured with an enthusiastic nod.

"Hate this place…"

"Good," Donut smirked. Then he said apologetically, "I'd come earlier, but Sarge is really working us hard. And speaking of working hard…"

"Magical fucking disappearing spoons…"

Donut grabbed the collar of Caboose's shirt and pulled him forward as he leaned in as well. Their lips met, and both pairs of eyes closed.

"Probably off with the forks…"

Caboose's hands latched onto Donut's thin waist while the hand of his that wasn't currently full of fabric clutched light brownish-blonde hair. Donut's lips parted, allowing Caboose's tongue to dart in. The smaller man moaned into the kiss before sucking on the slick appendage.

Tucker chose that moment to walk in.

"'Sup, Church? They going at it again?" he asked casually, indicating the two at the table.

"Creating sporks of doom," Church mumbled, having completely blacked out the past five minutes or so in his spoon search.

"Dude, have your coffee before you try to form coherent sentences, 'cause it just ain't gonna happen," the mocha skinned man laughed as he led Church back over to the table.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Still don't have a damn spoon," he grumbled, sitting down. Caboose and Donut were still going at it.

Snickering, Tucker got up. He came back over a second later brandishing the desired utensil that sparkled in the base's bright fluorescent light. Smirking as Church gruffly snatched it from him, Tucker sat down between him and Caboose, scooting his chair closer to the former. The still half-asleep man scooped up a few flakes as across from him the couple finally broke apart just as Tex entered the kitchen.

As she crossed the room and sat down next to the small blonde she greeted, "Good morning, Miss Donut."

"Right back attcha, sir!" he retorted, turning to the brunette with a wide grin.

"Well, I'm off, pansies. I'll kill you later, Donut," Tex told them, getting right back up and going towards the door.

"Say hi to Sarge for me," the younger of the blondes requested. The woman stopped dead in her tracks and craned her head to look at him.

"How the hell do you know where I'll be?" she demanded.

"Dude, me, Grif, and Simmons have walked in on you two how many times?" he reminded. "You guys have some pretty weird kinks."

"You just don't know what fun is," she countered. With that, the brunette made her exit.

Church, having fallen asleep during the brief exchange, was slouched forward with his chin brushing against his chest. His elbow was on the table, coffee cup in hand. It was tipped over, the hot liquid cascading into his cereal.

"So many images popping into my head right now," Tucker said, taking the now three-fourths gone cup out of Church's slack hand. He set it aside and brought the spoon and bowl closer to him.

"SM, guns, bondage, and the oddest dirty talk ever," Donut told him, sipping some orange juice that Caboose poured for him.

"'Sgood thing he doesn't fall asleep in battle…What kind of dirty talk?" Tucker asked, smirking, while he adjusted Church's arms as a pillow and pushed the smaller man's head onto them in hopes that it was a more comfortable position.

"Stuff about killing everyone and drinking the blood of their enemies," the blonde elaborated.

"Dude, freaky," Tucker commented, to which the others nodded.

He looked down at the soggy cereal, shrugging. Putting a spoonful into his mouth he thought, Coffee flavored wheat. Not bad.