This feeling...of love?...Naw it couldn't be love. What is love? Dose anyone know for sure? I know i don't... If it was love, why with Ponyboy? Hes my best friend! When ever i look at him i get the feeling that he know what i think about him every night. That same dream i have were him and me are just sitting in his couch watching the box, then i just throw myself on to him and kiss his soft pink lips. His lips have always captivated me in a way... so smooth and soft looking almost like the face of a small child. I always wanted my lips to touch his and feel the warmth of his body upon mine. I knew it would never happen Soda and Darry would have my head if i ever touched him that way. I know I'm older then Pony, but he was always bigger and stronger. Even if i did tell him how i felt he himself could probably take me out. I just sat there looking at him across the small card table, laughing at some of Steve's jokes that everyone new he had read off the back of a cereal box at the super market. It felt really weird for me to be sitting there at that table thinking such things about Ponyboy having one of his brothers on each side of me, along with two more people that could out-fight me with only one punch. But i still just sat there...Wondering...Waiting...Hoping...that someday my dream would come true and me and Ponyboy would be together at last.
"Full house"! I heard Steve say as loud as he could, reveling his cards on the table.
"Wheres my money boys"? He said collecting the money off the rickety table.
"Oh wow you won big this time Steve"! I heard Pony say sarcastically in a slightly giggling voice.
"Ya...A whole $4 and a plastic watch"! Two-Bit soon added in.
"Like you can talk"! Steve added
"Last week you made a big deal over winning a coupon for $1 off a cereal of your choice" Steve teased
"Thats enough boys!" I herd Darry say in a play full voice. "And Pony?!...I think you aught to get to bed...you got school tomorrow" Darry said
"Yeah yeah yeah i know..." Pony murmured walking into the bathroom.
"Hey Steve?...What time that watch say?" Soda said laughing.
"11:50" Steve said trying to kill the joke...
"Really?!" Two-bit said in a hurry to get this jacket.
"I am supposed to meet Marsha on the the other side of town in 10 Minuets.
"sigh Do you want me to drive you?" Soda asked.
"If you want to...I would really appreciate it!" Two-bit said in a half descent way.
And before i knew it they were out the door and i herd the car pull out of the driveway.
"I'm gonna head out myself" Steve said in few seconds later.
"I'm gonna meet Dallis at shepherds house so we can all beat the shit out of a couple or Socs" He added
"What about you Johnny?" Darry said to me as Steve walked out the door?
"You gonna stay here? Pony would like it if you went to school with him tomorrow i bet"
He always complains about not having any one to talk to at school cuz hes one of the only Greasers that even shows up an a daily bases"
"Yeah I'm staying...I said in a bashful way..Almost as if what he said about Pony had embarrassed me...
Had it?...If it did...did Darry notice?!
"I have to go buy some cigarettes." Darry said "I'll be back in a while...Tell Pony will ya?"
"Yeah I'll tell him..." I answered. And he walked out the door leaving me and Pony alone at last...
"Darry!...Darry!" I hear Ponyboy yell as he gets out of the shower. I decide to tell him then that his brother was not home. "Ponyboy...He went to the store to buy some cancer sticks. He'll be back soon" I told him. "Oh okay...So are you staying over Johnny?" He asked in a caring voice.
"Uh...I dunno yet...I should probably go home so my mom don't worry...i got no way to call her" i said almost only so i wouldn't have that awkward feeling in my stomach anymore.
"Why don't you just call her?" He asked in a way that made me feel stupid if i didn't have a good answer.
"Uhh..my dad threw the phone at a wall a few days ago..." I said in a low sad voice.
"Johnny..?! I want you to stay here...You don't need to be around that kind of violence!?" He said which didn't make sense because we were in a rumble with a few Socs not to long ago.
"Really Pony?" i said a little confused
"Yeah kid...How about i go with you to your house so you can tell your mom your staying over?...Your dad wont try and beat you if I'm there " He assured me. I had always loved it when he called me kid, because i was 2 years older then him but you could never tell by looking at us.
"Yeah Pony...lets do that..." I said almost to myself. He didn't care if i said no he was going to go anyways.
"We should wait until Darry gets back so we can tell him where were going." He suggested
"Or we could just leave a note...If you want to avoid seeing your pops before he gets home?" He later added.
"Yeah lets lave a not i don't really want to see him..." I said as Ponyboy wrote a note to his brother. Pony ran into his room and pulled off his towel exposing his bare body from behind to me. He pulled on some boxers and pants and found one of sodas clean black shirts and put that on to...I don't think he noticed that i have carefully watched every move he made...if he had it didn't seem think he cared. Before i knew it we were out the door.
"So Johnny...I was thinking...you don't really get along with your pops and your mom is a very negotiable person what would you say if you could live with me forever?" He said...I couldn't tell if he was joking or not...I hope he wasn't that would be a dream come true...Live with Ponyboy...I never thought it was possible to be happier then i was earlier when Pony had gonna and got bare naked right in front of me.
That conversation lasted until we reached the front of my house. I suggested that i go in alone but Pony said, If i knew you were gonna say that i would have let you come alone...What was the point of me coming?!...I told him he could come in to and he fallowed right behind me.
"Hey maw" I said to my mother who was sitting in tears on the sofa.
"Hey Mrs. Cade." Pony said soon after.
"Hey boys..." My mom said in a whimpering voice.
"Johnny?...I think you should stay with the Curtis boys tonight..." She told me.
"Yeah thats why were here..."Pony said to her.
"You boys should get out of here before...HE...gets home..."She said in an advising voice. And we ran out the door as a car pulled up in the driveway.
When we got back to Pony"s house and noticed that Soda's car wasn't there Pony worried thinking that his brother might have got caught up by the cops. As we walked into the house Darry as on the phone and looked kind of mad at the person on the other end.
"No! In not gonna come get him!" Is all we heard from Darry then he hung up.
"Wheres Soda?" Pony asked his brother...
"Hes in jail isn't he!?!?!" Pony added to his sentence
"No No...No Pony hes not in jail, hes just passed out at Steve's house So wont be home tonight so Johnny you can sleep in the bed with Pony if you want." Darry said
"Oh..." Pony said kind of embarrassed.
I blushed a little bit when Darry had said i could sleep with Pony. It was almost as if he had given me permission to have sex with his brother. I knew he didn't mean it in that way but i has always dreamed of the day that it would meant that. Pony and I went to sleep soon after that. That night i had a different dream then i had nights before. This time i was coming off an airplane and the only thing i see was Ponyboy standing...looking at me through the huge glass window of the airport. When i reached him i fell into his arms almost as if i hadn't seen him in years. I felt his arms around me as if they were really there then i felt a hand slip slowly down my loose pants and boxers and slowly start to massage my hard cock... I woke up in a peaceful was. It was still dark out side so i knew it was still time to sleep.
I felt a hand down my pants but it wasn't mine. I slightly turned my head to see a sleeping Ponyboy with one hand down my pants and the other groping my waist. I thought i was still dreaming, but that's what Pony was doing.