Epilogue

I traveled by myself for awhile. But I was so miserable and alone. I remembered back, when I first started traveling with Sister thinking that if I clung to her too hard, I'd lose her. I knew it was happening at the time, I feared becoming too dependent on another person, and yet I still fell into that trap. But I was so happy with sister that maybe I wouldn't trade it for anything even knowing what was going to happen. I guess that's part of life, being happy even though you know you're going to lose what you have someday. But how do you go on after you've lost it?

Sister had taught me about family. She'd shown me how wonderful it could be to belong, to have someone you care about who cares about you the same way. I missed Sister fiercely and I missed having a family. But I did have a family, sort of. I had my real family: my real mother. I thought about what Sister said about how I should go back to her. For awhile I didn't think I could face her. I put it off. But I was so lonely with Sister gone. All I could think about was the family I've known: Sister the way she cared for me and taught me stuff, Sloth mommy how she cared for me and not cared me at the same time, and real mommy. Sister's words kept echoing in my head. Finally, I had enough. I headed back to Dublith.

I don't honestly know what I was going to do when I saw her. I think that's all I wanted: to see her, to decide if I could ever accept her. I was too late; she died before I got the chance. She went back to the gate. In some way, it was too much. I thought I'd have this family waiting for me, even if I couldn't accept it. And what's worse, I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out but when I saw her grave somehow I just knew. I knew that she had loved me, that she was my mother and she wanted her son back. But now she too was gone. All of the family I've ever had (including my true family) was dead, gone back to gate.

I don't know what I wanted at that point. Nothing was left for me in this world. I was nearby her grave, just sitting there unsure what to do next when Winry saw me. As she has always done she offered to fix my automail. After Sister died, I'd stopped taking good care of it. She took me back to Resembool. That was where I saw Alphonse. He looked so much like Ed. He too was seeking family. I overheard enough to figure out what he was planning. And then I knew, suddenly I knew the answer to what I've been seeking, I knew what I had I to do. Now, I have a plan.

I am homunculus-an imperfect lifeform. A being brought to life that is not what the creator wanted. I was ripped from the gate when I never should have left. And now I know how to fix things. I know how to even the scale. I must return to the gate. Sister went back to the gate and joined her true family and I will do the same.

But I will do more than just return to gate. I will give myself in a sacrifice to open the gate. I can do this; I can lure Gluttony even though it will cost my imperfect life. Alphonse is like me, he is seeking family. His lies not in the gate but on the other side. If he gives himself in a sacrifice then his brother will not be able to see him. I won't let that happen. Families should be together. This how I will even the scale, this how I will obtain equivalence for all things I've taken and not paid for. Now I will pay for them, I will give the ultimate price, and once I've done that I will be reunited with mommy, true mommy.

I haven't told Alphonse what I'm planning because I know he will object. I will tell him at a time when he can't object. I have a purpose now, a reason for living and a reason for dying. I am seeking family again, something I have done all my life without even realizing it. But now I know what I am doing and I know that once I finally find my true family I will never lose her again. One final equivalent exchange and then I will be happy and complete.

AN: The end.

A big thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story. Seeing a new review always makes my day. I tend to be a bit of an internet hermit (I'm not very sociable) but I always read reviews and try to take them into consideration. Thank you for putting up with my delayed updates and two year hiatus. Personally I like reading author's notes and gaining a little insight into what the author was thinking, so I've included a few random story notes just in case you're interested.

After I wrote the very first chapter, which I just wrote as a writing exercise in the form of an attempt to get inside Wrath's head, I thought about the character I'd created, Jessica, giving her a history- a reason for acting the way she did. I think next I decided she'd travel with Wrath for a few years and then die. And then thought about movie Wrath and wondered if I could create an explanation for his behavior. I love movie Wrath in fact Wrath is one of the few things I liked about the movie. (Don't get me started on what I didn't like.) I especially liked that they visually showed which mommy Wrath wanted to be reunited with because the first time I watched I wasn't sure if he was talking about Sloth or Izumi. Wrath and Izumi are some of my favorite characters and I love how they are reunited in the movie but I don't know if I can entirely believe it. I mean Wrath is so traumatized by what happened he can't even think about Izumi in the series. On the other hand two years have passed before the movie and in that amount of time people (even homunculi) can change. That became my challenge to see if I can convincingly write about how Wrath changed his views on Izumi to where he'd die to be with her. And that was really the driving point of the whole story. (Although I did throw in a few light hearted not necessarily plot related things, just to for fun and to explore the relationship between and travels of Jessica and Wrath) I'm not sure if I accomplished my goal or not, so I leave that up to you reviewer.

A little more about Jessica and an explanation of some of her actions in case you're curious. Jessica was the daughter of farmers whom lived in a farming community outside of Landis. Like many farming families Jessica's family was large, she had lots of siblings. She was somewhere in the middle in terms of birth order and thus both an older and younger sister. She grew up always surrounded by her siblings, having people to play with and teach her stuff and teach stuff too and what not. Jessica's house caught fire at night and her family died in the fire. Jessica who had a habit of sleeping outdoors was not in the house and thus the only survivor. She suffered from survivor's guilt and was unused to being alone. It was probably the survivor's guilt that caused Jessica to run away rather than allowing another family to take her in. Jessica wasn't alone for too long before she noticed Wrath. Wrath of course sort of formed the role of surrogate younger sibling. Being an older sister for Wrath sort of gave Jessica a purpose and a reason to keep on living. Jessica feared being left alone more than anything else. She had a little trouble adjusting to Wrath calling her Sister at first because it reminded her of all of her dead siblings.