Disclaimer: I deny any/ all possession of all characters featured in this segment. I rent them.
Well, having been handed the knowledge that our favorite Kaiser is ill at heart and will possibly be pushing up daisies in the end, I have written this to help me cope. A little anticipatory grief, if you will. That is what some would call a "tragicomedy", one word. It's probably not the first of its kind around these parts, but these kind of stories are rare.
Be warned: I only know so much as what I've heard from others, so it may not be so accurate. Like I've said, I've got a queer sense of humor...
Oh, and we have a special guest, too! Who is he? Here's a hint: he's an unpleasant blast from the ancient past. Corny hint, yes, but simple enough, no?
And you may find most of the dialogue in italics. That's because they would be in the Spirit World...your voice would sound odd there, right?
"FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS"
Ah, Death...as intensely as everybody fears him, we all know that deep down, he'll come to visit us all, some time or another. All we can do is watch our back; survive, if you will. Live life out as long as we can, before the old Reaper comes to call and catches us in the dead end of the road.
Tragically, however, one kid found his dead end a little too soon.
It was a dreary Friday evening at Domino Hospital, and pouring buckets, almost as if the skies themselves were mourning. Of course, no day at the hospital ever goes by without at least one life being snatched up by the Reaper. Tonight, the unlucky one was to be found, lying in a comatose state within the bleak, ghostly walls of room 444.
In that bed lay a young man, whose real name had been forgotten, by the public, at least. Most just called him by the name he had given himself: "Hell Kaiser". At his side was a chair, on which his slick black coat was hung, perhaps never to be worn by another human being. His precious deck of Cyber Dragons sat undisturbed on a table, beside a vase of flowers. They had been a present...from all his grieving kin and familiars. All of whom, despite themselves, had to leave due to the shortness of visiting hours.
I'm not sure if it mattered that they had been there, though, since, being unconscious and all, he'd never acknowledge their presence.
When the clock struck 11: 00 that night...well, let's just say that he was to arrive. At the very second when the duelist's dilapidated heart would call it quits, and lay still in his ribcage. The monitor signaled this by drawing a thin, neon line and humming a single, lethal tone: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Now, there are talltale signs that indicate when one's time is nigh. First and foremost, the atmosphere would become misty and deathly chilly, to the degree that the you'd lose sensation all over, and can actually see your final earthly breaths slip out through your nostrils...unless you've got your eyes shut, of course. At least, you'd no longer be in pain.
Second, the moment you lose your last breath, you might have a sense of weightlessness. That's because your soul would be drawn from your useless body by a mysterious, unexplainable force. But you wouldn't be quite there yet, because you'll still attached to the body by a fine, silver cord. This is what may be called "suspended animation", a brief state that serves as transition between living and dying.
That's where the Reaper comes in. His job is to sever the cord with his scythe, then to guide you into what we humans call "The Other Side".
Third, you'll find the room you'd be lying in gradually transforming into a sort of black tunnel, with a shimmering white dot at the distant end...that's "The Other Side". Somewhere in the mist, you'd see a lean, skeletal figure cloaked in black, with scythe in hand. That'd be the Reaper. He'd be creeping silently towards you like a phantom, his feet not even touching the ground, and his inhumanly violet eyes aglow...
As all of this took place, Kaiser suddenly felt...awake? In truth, he was in suspended animation, which means, as the name implies, awake, yet simultaneously...well, not awake. It's a tad confusing, I know. But that's how I can describe the state that Kaiser was in.
"Wh-wha-?" was all he could utter, as he was just opened his ill-shaded eyes like eroded sapphire. "Where...am I? Why do I feel so...weird?" In suspended animation, one doesn't have the slightest clue what's going on...that is, until the Reaper shows up.
Kaiser glanced all about the misty tunnel. Something was wrong; he didn't know exactly what that could be. But, there had to be something amiss, lest he wouldn't feel so strange.
He noticed the fine, silver cord floating from the center of his chest, where his heart would be positioned. "What's this...?"
That's when he discovered something else amiss, much more unnerving than this mysterious tunnel...for lying just under his levitating self, was his physical body, as stiff as a corpse.
"No way! Is that...me?? Or is this me?? What's this cord for-?"
"Ahem! You don't get it, do you?" snapped a new voice, gruff and foreboding. "Stupid mortal..."
"Who's there?"
Sure enough, there before Hell Kaiser stood a lean, skeletal figure, cloaked in sheer black and a scythe in one hand. The shadow of the stranger's hood kept his face concealed.
At this point, our soon-to-be-deceased hero was not frightened. No, he was more befuddled than anything else. "This can't...possibly be real..."
"Tough granola, pathetic human! I don't think you know who I am. Allow me to introduce myself as-"
The hooded one paused to pull back his hood-
"The Grim Reaper! Messenger of Death and Misery! Death, mostly..."
But here's a surprise: Kaiser did not find a skeleton under that cloak. Oh, no! In fact, this stranger had skin, pasty and wan. His unkempt mane was of a ghostly white, seemingly glowing in the darkness of the misty tunnel. He had eyes, but they weren't glowing amethyst. No, they were more of a sickly color of bile.
This, of course, only confounded the young one even further. "Wait...you're the Grim Reaper? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the Reaper was supposed to be...skeletal? You've got the ugly aspect down, though..." Sadly, even in suspended animation, he was still the disrespectful guy everyone feared in the physical life.
"Watch your mouth, mortal! It's not too late to change your resting place to the Shadow Realm! Although you're right about one thing, I'm not really the Reaper. My name's really Bakura...Messenger of Misery and Death, mostly Misery."
Kaiser raised an eyebrow. "Okay...but then where's the real Reaper?"
"I'm filling in for him. Had some business with another asshole human, who sold his soul to win all his duels. Almost like yourself."
"I never did that!"
"But that's beyond the point. Point is, your time has come. I came over to cut your cord and take you away. Too bad you had to go so early. Not that I care." Bakura reached up to run a finger over the blade of the scythe.
Kaiser looked over his shoulder. Somewhere in the dark, he could make out the silhouette of a lifeless body lying underneath him. The other end of the cord was attached to the center of its chest.
"What the...hell? Is that ME?? Or is this me?"
The substitute Reaper rolled his eyes. "No, that's your surrogate sister, Alexis Rhodes. Of course, that's you, fool! Your self-abused physical self, at least. That cord you were gawking at is what connects your soul to your body. But not for long...now, let's get this over with. I'm not getting paid to chat with clients."
But you know us humans. It doesn't matter if you call yourself "goth" or "emo" or the like. Every human being clings to life, even when we anticipate its end. Hell Kaiser wasn't a full-fledged Goth nor Emo, contrary to popular belief. But still being human, well...
He was dying? Right now, right here?? Well, Kaiser always knew that it eventually come to this. Yet, somehow he didn't actually count on how soon. He gripped his cord with both hands.
"Well, what if I don't want to go yet? I'm only nineteen, after all," he said, trying his best to keep his composure stoic, despite the circumstances.
"Hmph! Should've thought about that before you went on the shock therapy...although, I would normally applaud the usage of pain-inflicting devices. But that, too, is beyond the point! Now quit wasting my time and remove your hands, please! And hold still!"
With that, Bakura took the scythe into both hands, raising it high over his head. Tongue protruding, he swung it back down.
And missed.
"Wh-what the-?!"
Kaiser had dashed off to the side, the intact cord still in his hands. He was always the type to hate surrendering to anyone, even Death.
"Don't I get a say in this? Like I said, what if I don't want to go yet?"
Bakura was beginning to lose patience, though I can't say he had much to begin with. He stamped his foot. "What the hell do you mean, you don't want to go? You're so emo, I would've thought that you were expecting me-"
"How many times must I say it?! I'M NOT EMO!!"
"Oh, yeah? You get beat just once, and you let yourself go, body and mind? That's pathetic. Then again, that's what you humans are known best for. Sure, I never could beat the Pharoah, and did I let that break me?"
Kaiser felt his his left eye twitch. Did this guy just call him pathetic? "Well then, why are you a sub for the Grim Reaper?"
"What's that have to do with anything? I've been out of a job since the new guys took over the series, and--waaaiit, I understand now! You think you can stall me with idle chit-chat? Think you can escape me, Master of Death??"
No reply. That could've been because while Bakura was pointing a finger, Kaiser had taken action. Just had to bend down and climb back into his body (yes, actually, you could do that, if you were quick and clever enough. Remember, you're not officially dead until your cord's been severed).
"Looks like I've got a stubborn mortal here. Ah, well. I've got ways of dealing with those of the likes of you...you can't run away from Death. Diabound! Time to get to work!"
It just so happened that not long after Hell Kaiser's heart stopped beating, doctors had rushed into room 444, trying to revive him. The head was just getting out the defibrillators (though ironically, electricity was what landed old Kaiser in the hospital), and was just about to apply them, when suddenly...
"I'm alive!" the patient cried, throwing his hands in the air.
"Wow!" the medics gasped. "Are we good or what?"
"Thanks! Now outta my way!" Tossing the sheets over the team, he leapt out, grabbing his jacket and Cyber Dragon deck along the way. ZOOM! Off he went, almost like Shadow the Hedgehog.
The head doctor peeked out from under the bed sheets. "Hey, now! What about your bills?"
Out the automatic doors he sped, into the night. The rain was like thousands of fine needles pricking his bare skin, as he hastily slipped on his jacket. Conveniently, a burly stranger with tattoos of skulls and roses was just pulling up on a motorcycle.
Perfect! "Hey! Hey, guy! Can you lend me your bike?"
"Peg yer pardon? I ain't givin' up my hog for some limp-wrist emo loser!"
"I AM NOT A FREAKING--I mean, how about if I gave you a fifty? No, a hundred? Two hundred?"
"Holy crap, that's more than what I make in a week! Go right ahead, sir!" Curteously, the biker stepped off, bowing down low and offering the keys.
"Yeah...thanks. Just take it!" Tossing the wrinkled, dripping bills, Kaiser seized the keys and mounted the bike, neglecting to wear a helmet, at that. Once again, just like Shadow the Hedgehog.
And just as he sped off, splashing a puddle into the tattooed one's face, he could've sworn that there was a menacing presence slithering up from behind, reeking of what smelt like both decaying flesh and dirty diapers.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sit tight, that's not the end. There's a part two to this, up next!