Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the people who I own, but then again, my main character is based on a real person...

Slavery is Illegal

Chapter 1:

Random

"Remember Yelena, you must work harder this year," my mother droned on as we made our way to Platform nine and three quarters, "Your father and I were quite pleased that you received twelve O.W.L.s, however you must remain diligent in order to do well in your N.E.W.T.s..."

I haven't an inkling why my mother was explaining this to me. She had given me this lecture only about twenty times after I received my O.W.L.s about fifty more lectures during the summer. After the fifth lecture, I decided that it was in my best interest to not die of boredom by ignoring her. To many, that may seem quite rude, but really, I'm ignoring my mother for her own good. If I died of boredom, how can I possibly concentrate on my studies? I prove my point.

"...it is only two years away! It is vital for you to be the best in your N.E.W.T classes, we wouldn't want the Malfoys to start talking again now do we?"

Ah, now here comes the 'We were so appalled when we discovered that you were sorted into Gryffindor...' speech, and everything in between. Out of all the speeches and lectures my mother has given me, this speech is the one I abhor more than anything, even more than the Malfoys and the Blacks, combined.

"...I've heard rumors Yelena, fraternizing yourself with this muggleborn, Evens? Something or the other..." Oh, that was a first; how dare she.

"Evans, is the top of our year,"

"Yes, I know dear, but that does not nullify-"

"Of course it nullifies her being a muggleborn," I said trying to keep my voice steady for anger, "Many of the teachers at Hogwarts say that she's one of the brightest students to come to Hogwarts,"

"Yelena, do not start that tone with me," she said sharply, "and you should not be proud that the teachers are saying those things to your friends rather than you, I can not believe that..."

Yes, ignore what contradicts you and then insult me. That was always my mother's strategy when I spoke back to her. I could feel the heat rising and it was not the September heat, or that rather cute guy looking my way.

"Mother, I have to go now, I would not like to miss the train," I said this even though there was still a quarter of an hour until the Hogwarts Express departed. My mother narrowed her eyes and said, "Fine, hurry on Yelena, just please, choose better friends, I would really dislike that..."

I decided to just ignore my mother and leave, that is the best action to take in this kind of situation, I mean, if she kept talking like that I will miss the train and consequently be behind my school work due to stress and that will ruin my studies and that will give my mother something to dislike. I gave a glance back at my mother when I boarded the train. She did not look happy. Pity. And that's when I turned and ran into him.

Who is him you ask? He is the most handsome, the funniest, smartest, and cutest guy in our year. I've been in love with him since I was in second year, when he caught me when I nearly fell off the stands when I became er, overly excited during the Quidditch match. He is so cute with his soft, dark hair and he has gorgeous eyes that you just fall into. He's also a Quidditch player too, joined two years ago, and he's really good, I've been contemplating joining the Quidditch team myself. I wouldn't mind being in the locker rooms with him. And I really-

"Are you alright?" he asked me. He asked me, he's talking to me, I have to do my best and not look like a dim witted prat, what to say, what to say...?

"I am..I am.." I have yet to figure out what I am, and so I just repeated 'I am' . Oh he's giving me a weird look, I have to say something, I must look stupid to him. But I'm not stupid, I got 12 O.W.L.s! That has got to count for something, "I am not a dim witted prat!"

Oh, I said that aloud.

"..huh?" he looked at me like I'm on something, but I'm not! I would never do drugs, it kills your bodily organs and mentality and then I really will be a dim witted prat

and "I am not a dim witted prat!"

I said it again, now I must definitely look like a dim witted prat. Oh great joy, this is terrible, he's never going to talk to me again because he thinks that I am a dim witted prat when I'm really not a dim witted prat and now I'll just have to sulk all alone in compartment full of first years because Lily is off somewhere in the prefect's carriage.

"I knew I recognized you, you're Evans' friend!" he told me. Well I already knew that I was Lily's friend, but he doesn't seem to mind that I was spazzing out about being a dim witted prat when I'm really not a dim witted prat and maybe I won't have to sulk all alone in a compartment full of first years. On second thought, I probably will still sulk in the compartment because I'm in a compartment full of first years, but at least I won't be sulking about seeming to be a dim witted prat when I'm really not a dim witted prat and I-

"Yea, I know Evans is prefect, my friend Remus is one too, and you can sit with us if you'd like,"

Oh my God. He said that I could sit with him, with him. Wait, how did he know that I would be sitting alone-

"You really like talking to yourself don't you?"

Oh did I say all that out loud?

"Well I couldn't understand everything you were saying, you really need to speak up,"

Oh my God. I clamped my hand over my mouth to make sure that I don't say anything else outloud. Dear God, did he hear that I would like to pounce on him and start snogging him into oblivion?

"Sorry? I can't hear you at all now, why are you covering your mouth while you're talking?"

"I don't want to say anything that I don't what you to hear out loud," I said this before I took time to think of what I was saying. Fortunately, I still had my hand safely clamped over my mouth. I decided that I have to be brave, like us Gryffindors are supposed to be, and unclamp my mouth and confess to hottie that I do indeed want to sit with him and his hotness. Before I had a chance to embarass myself any further, some prat grabbed me from behind putting me into a choke hold.

"Hey, who are you talking to?" the prat turned me around as if were some mannequin that he could man handle. Ooo this prat really is evil. It's his hotness' friend who isn't quite as cool as him and much more, there's no other word for it, evil. Not that hottie is evil, but, you know..

"Hey!" he said recognizing me, "you're in our year!"

"Yes, I was quite aware of that," I said with as much dignity as I could muster.

"I wasn't so sure that you knew, you don't look that smart," he said this with a serious look. And yes I hate the pun too, I know he always goes on and on about it in the common room, its ridiculous.

"I like my pun,"

Crap, I said that aloud.

"See, you're a dim witted prat aren't you?" the stupid friend of hottie asked me, as if I was going to dignify him by answering.

"Hey, why don't you 'dignify' yourself by moving out of the way, you're blocking the corridor,"

Ooh, I am not that wide.

"Yes you are, now please, move it." he snapped at me, the indignity! Hottie chose this moment to whisper to his friend. Now I'm not one to eavesdrop but I have to listen.

"No, you don't have to listen!" he snapped at me again.

"Here's an empty compartment, lets go before some prats take it." hottie said hastily, climbing into said compartment. I sat across from that vile friend of his-

"I am not vile, you-" I decided to zone him out, thinking that I really should learn to talk inside my head rather than out.

"You got that right..."

How annoying...

"Your constant muttering is annoying, if you're going to talk, at least sound out the words clearly..."

"I do not mutter! I, I, I-"

"You mutter and stutter, you-"

"Stop arguing you too," he said this more to the freak sitting across me.

"You are the freak, you-"

"Sirius, as you would say it, be serious, please," he gave Sirius a pleading glance before giving me a small smile, "I'm going to find Peter, just don't kill each other while I'm gone," and with that he left me alone to fend off his mad friend.

"Ok, if you're going to insult me, speak up!"

Again, I will not dignify him by answering.

"OH fine," he said rolling his eyes and then sat down with what looked like strategic grumpiness that will probably get most girls to apologize. Oh, I know he thinks that he's hot, but he is not at all hot, at least not as hot as James. He's looking at me now, looking at me like James looked at me when I thought that he thought that I looked like a dim witted prat on something, only different. He started laughing like a loon now. Is he on something? His laughing only increased, affirming my theory that he is indeed, a loon.

"Hey, what's-" he paused for breath, his laughing had only increased, and now I have added onto my theory, he's a loon on something, "what's your name?"

Don't know my name huh, we've only been in the same class for five years, but I still replied as politely as possible, "Yelena Sergeyevna Katina, but please, do not call me Yelena or Sergeyevna or Katina,"

"First of all, what kind of name is that?" A Russian one you cheeky bastard...

"And what am I suppose to call you then?"

"Elena or Elaine or Lenne will do,"

"Sirius Black, please call me Sirius" he had said his last name with distaste, I knew the feeling, I hated my family.

"Really? Are they blood obsessed freaks?"

Russian blood obsessed freaks.

"Hah, they're probably disappointed that you're in Gryffindor huh?"

Just thinking about it...

"I know, my dear mum always goes on and on about it..."

My dear mum won't stop rattling on about Slytherin.

"Ugh, my whole family's been in Slytherin, I was the only one who was sorted into Gryffindor," he said this with a hint of pride. Well, I found the Slytherins to be evil pricks too, but I don't voice it out loud like him.

"I hate the Slytherins too,"

Too? Oh great I did voice my hatred out loud...

"Oh, you're hilarious, why haven't I ever talked to you before?"

Too busy snogging random whores...

"Hey, they come on to me," he said with a smirk as he glanced at the compartment door which was still partially open and where gaggling girls were giggling over him. I hate those girls they are so annoying. Sirius walked up and closed the door properly and said, "Yea, they do get annoying, but you know, they are nice to snog,"

I actually don't find myself snogging too many girls...

"Haha, well if you were as hot as me, then you'd be ambushed wherever you went..."

"You really are full of yourself aren't you?"

"Oh speaking up now?"

"You aren't that hot..."

"Not as hot as James am I?"

What?

"You were talking about it, and God look at this notebook.." he muttered looking through my planner which I had filled with I heart James Potter.

"That's personal!" Oh God, I am going to die of embarrassment. Oh God...what if he tells someone...

"Don't worry," he said with a wink, "Your secret's safe with me"

Oh, I see it in his eyes, he is going to blackmail me like there is no tomorrow.

"Hey, that's a great idea,"

Crap.

He walked over and sat beside me and held my head and examined it like he was examining a quaffle. He laughed and said, "You make really weird similes.."

Oh thank God, I thought he was going to set conditions to his blackmail.

"Haha, I haven't gotten there just yet,"

Damn. Damn. Damn.

"I've got it," he said suddenly, "You can be my servant."

Servant?!

"Fine, you can be my slave!"

SLAVE?!

"Hey, if you talked like that all the time, I wouldn't have to strain myself to hear you..."

"This isn't funny,"

"Yes, it is,"

"I can't be your slave! That's totally illegal! What do you even need a slave for?"

He didn't answer me, instead, he, he, he-

"You sound like you're trying to laugh, that, or like you're suffocating...its just a kiss," and he bent down and snogged me again.

And then I realized that 'slave' was his term for hoe, I'm sure of it! At this opportune moment of revelation and snogging, James opened the compartment door. And he happened to be with a very disheveled looking Lily, Remus, Peter, and the gaggling girls who had failed to leave. They all stopped talking, or rather arguing by the looks of it, and gaped as us. Sirius just smiled and said a little nervously for some reason, "Hey Prongs, Moony, Wormtail, er...Lily," and then added quietly enough for only me to hear, "gaggling girls"

Ooh, no matter how funny that last comment was, I hate Sirius. Nooo, James probably thinks that I'm one of Sirius' many whores, which due to the blackmail, I am! And Lily is looking at me with half shock and rage and and and- I'm stuttering again, this is Sirius' fault I know it.

"That is not my fault!"

My life sucks.

"Stop being a drama queen,"

I really, really need to learn to talk inside my head.

"I already agreed to that,"

I'm not going to say anything that will further humiliate me.

"Great idea,"

A/N: I don't know why, but I was bored, and I randomly started typing this out and I made a whole chapter. :D I laughed when I wrote this, so I'm going to consider this fic as humor. Unless maybe it is just me laughing. Er. Review please:D let me know how ya'll think of this.

-StLibee