Hisoka stood outside in the rain, leaning against the wall and holding his head as he was slowly soaked. He couldn't stop the emotions tearing through him. Despair, pain, loneliness, misery…all those feelings he'd felt in Tsuzuki that night. They haunted him even now. He couldn't get them out of his mind. Every time he was near his partner the torrent began again.

Was it because Tsuzuki was still feeling those things? Or was Hisoka just imagining it? Had it scared him so much?

Hisoka shook his head, trying to clear it, thankful for the rain. It was cooling him down, helping him gain control again.

He looked up when he heard footsteps to see the very object of his thoughts coming toward him. Tsuzuki approached him, whistling merrily. "Oh, hello," he said casually. "What are you doing out here?"

Hisoka pushed away from the wall and took a few steps toward his partner. "Tsuzuki…"

Tsuzuki cocked his head to the side. "Yes?"

Hisoka looked away, trying to control the new flood of emotions. Stop, he commanded desperately. He couldn't think like this.

Tsuzuki was drawing closer, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

Hisoka held up his hands, not wanting to touch him. He hadn't touched him since that night; he didn't want to feel the emotions anymore. "Don't come any closer."

Tsuzuki stopped. "Why?"

"Don't…don't touch me."

"What's wrong?" Tsuzuki looked really concerned now. He took another step forward.

"No!" Hisoka's hands flew up to his head. "Stop!" He was shaking all over. "I can't…too many feelings…"

Tsuzuki frowned. "What feelings? Mine?"

"Yes." Hisoka looked up. "Tsuzuki…you regret me saving you? Do you still want to die?"

Tsuzuki's frown deepened. "Hisoka."

Hisoka didn't have time to react before Tsuzuki had him against the wall, holding his hands above his head, pinning him with his body. He felt the emotions crashing through him, devouring everything. "No…Tsuzuki…"

"Listen to me," Tsuzuki said fiercely. "I realized when you saved me that I didn't want to die. I don't want to die." He pressed his forehead to Hisoka's, looking deep into his eyes. "I have too much to live for now."

Hisoka wanted to believe him, but the emotions were still there, coursing through him. Were they coursing through his body or Tsuzuki's?

Tsuzuki pinned him there in the rain, both of them soaked, and kissed him. When their lips met, Hisoka felt such peace. More peace than he'd ever felt in his entire life. Then he knew that this was what Tsuzuki was feeling. He didn't want to die anymore. He wanted to live.

Hisoka's eyes closed and he savored the peace, the moment with Tsuzuki. When his partner finally lifted his head, Hisoka was breathing hard, flushed. Tsuzuki smiled tenderly, his hand on Hisoka's chest. "This…us…is what I live for," he whispered.