They returned to the lair with no further misadventure, only to find the Scarecrow standing in the middle of the room, staring off into space and wearing a battered purple top hat. Al was sitting in front of him, giggling like a madwoman.

"Oh, dear God, she's made a friend of the Hatter," the Captain groaned. "Al?"

"Captain Techie Techie Captain!" Al burbled. "Watch, waaatch!" She jumped up. "Squishy, sing!"

He struck a pose—dear sweet Lord, he struck a pose, smiled broadly, and belted out, "Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire! Baby, my heart's on fire!" (All while maintaining that same glassy look in his eyes.)

The Captain gasped so hard it was a wonder her lungs didn't explode, and interrupted, "Squishy, metal!"

He froze up for a second, then burst out with, "My love for you is like a truck! BERSERKER!"

"HA!" the Captain cheered. "Ha! I knew it! I knew he'd been listening!"

"Would you like some making fuck? BERSERKER!"

"Squishy said making fuck!" Al squealed.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Techie said giddily, unable to hold out until after the 'suck my cock.' "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits?"

"Puttin' on the Ritz!"

From somewhere above them came a sudden muffled laugh. The girls all looked up just in time to see Catwoman land on her hands and knees on their coffee table, which promptly collapsed. She lay amid the debris, cackling, with tears running down her face.

"You ha—you have—a Scarecrow puppet!" the cat burglar chortled. "And he has such a beautiful singing voice!"

Techie gaped. Was Catwoman spying on them now?

Al managed to stop staring at the laughing cat long enough to ask, "What exactly were y'all up to while I was gone?" The Captain grinned.

"Look, look! The kitty cat followed us home! Can we keep her, Squishy?" Jonathan didn't react. "Oh, right." She reached up to remove the hat.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Catwoman said hastily. Al frowned.

"Why?"

"What, didn't Jervis tell you how his chips work? 'Squishy'-" She snickered. "-is aware of everything you're doing to him, and I'm guessing he's pretty pissed off about it."

Al instantly skittered to the other side of the room.

"Shit! Really? Shit! Shitshitshitshitcockmungler-oh-my-God-I'm-in-trouble. Really?"

Techie leaned in close to inspect the boss's face. Then she backed away slowly.

"His eye is twitching," she pronounced. "He's going to kill us all."

"Especially me," Al squeaked. "He's going to kill me twice."

"Did you do something to him before we got here?"

Al covered her face with both hands and nodded.

"I'm not even going to ask." The Captain smiled hopefully at Catwoman. "So, mon chat ami, oh magnificent tigress of the night…um…do you think we could stay with you for the next couple of…" She glanced at Jonathan, then at Al. "Erm, years?"

"That depends. Do I get to play with your toy before we run?" She chuckled. "Or do I just get to watch?"

Well, Catwoman couldn't make things any worse, could she? Maybe they could convince her not to tell anyone. And maybe she could do something to divert his wrath. If they all flashed him right before they knocked the hat off and ran, maybe he would have something else to think about.

And if they got on Catwoman's good side, maybe she would teach them how to crawl on the ceiling unseen by those below.

"For the record," said Al, "I'm strongly against this."

Her friends ignored her. It was too late to save her, anyway.