Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. Period. Hasbro, Michael Bay, and others own it. Mecha Sue and Machina Sue are incarnations of Mary Sue, who belongs to everyone. But please ask before you take the names please.

Author's Notes: After reading a lot of really bad fanfics in the Transformers section, I have decided vent my frustrations of the Mary Sues into this fic. The characters used in this fic are a mixture of G1 and Bay's movie.

Transformers and the Mary Sues

Once there was a girl named Mecha Sue. She had a younger sister named Machina Sue. They both lived happily together with their parents on a planet called Earth. The two sisters always stuck out in public because of their unusual features, which made them very self-conscious and ashamed and shall be described in full detail.

Mecha had delicious ruby red eyes that glowed when angered and shimmered when she was happy. Her hair was the color of chrome, yes chrome, that when hit just right looked like metallic strands of silver swinging beautifully in the wind. Her perfect skin was somewhere between white and a pale blue, and had a somewhat stiff texture to it, as if it were aluminum.

Machina had the same semi-precious stone eyes as her sister, but her hair was a bright blue with streaks of red. Also unlike her sister, where Mecha was pale, a pale bluish silver to be exact, Machina was more of a golden hue. Not like a Jessica Alba bronzy-gold, but the fake yellowish-gold color.

Both girls were exquisitely beautiful despite having such strange features. But other girls were hated them for their beauty, because all the boys felt strangely attracted to them, similar to their attraction to anything that require batteries and blinking lights. So the local neighborhood girls made it a point to constantly throw a barrage of assorted items. Incidentally enough, the girls were never seriously harmed since the objects merely bounced of their metallic-like skin. This led to bigger and heavier objects to be thrown, which would be physically impossible for teenage girls, but they somehow managed to hurl the cumbersome objects at the defenseless girls.

Oddly enough the parade of boys who followed them home seemed to disappear during such attacks. With the bigger objects the girls began receiving dents in their skin which miraculously healed overnight, furthering the belief that they were freaks.

One day, after a particularly bad day of torture, Machina exclaimed, "I simply can't take this anymore!!! Mom, why do they hate us so much?"

"Well, sweetie, they're just jealous of your good-looks," their mom repeated. She said this every time they asked this.

"Well, why do we look so different in the first place?"

"Eh…It's too early in story to give you a reasonable, logical explanation, even though the explanation will break all laws of reality. Is something burning?" Their mother quickly left to get away from troublesome questions and save her supper.

Machina turned to her sister. "I'm so tired of this. I am sick and tired of this. I'm gonna find out why we look so different!" Machina then proceeded to storm out of the house, into the unknown with no clue how she was going to find out who she was or why she was different. In fact, she didn't know where to go to so that she could find out who she was, but it doesn't matter because she knew in her spark—oops—heart that everything would come out right.

Terrified that her sister would get lost or hurt, Mecha ran after her when suddenly a government plane swooped by and blew up their house. Fortunately the girls were unharmed, having run out of the house at just the right time. But alas, their parents were obliterated. With tears in her eyes, Machina ran away into the distance, where she proceeded to get captured by government agents.

Mecha was too dumbstruck with grief to notice her sister running away and getting nabbed by government agents intent on experimenting on her. Instead, she ran into the nastiest, dirtiest, most bad-men infected alley she could possibly find. Almost instantly about fifty men surrounded Mecha, contemplating the bad, horrible, painful things they would do to her.

Mecha tried to fight them off, but sadly, fifty men were just too much for her and she collapsed under a mass of limbs and torsos awkwardly punching and kicking each other trying to get to her first. Mecha squeezed her eyes shut, knowing that they would ravage her innocence and kill her soul, and waited for her untimely death.

Suddenly, a blaring light shone through the alley. Mecha heard a whirring sound and clanking metal and a stomp, stomp, BANG! Instantly, all of the evil men went flying off her and into the next state, where they landed bruised but unharmed and managed to flag down a police car to help them. Unfortunately, the police car happened to be Barricade…

Mecha opened her eyes to see a gigantic robot standing in front of her. Although the normal person would be scared out of their wits, and rightfully so, Mecha knew that this strange being meant her no harm. "Thank you from rescuing me from those bad men," she said sweetly.

"You are welcome. I am Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots, and we fight for peace. Our archenemies are the Decepticons. They fight to destroy Earth." Optimus transformed into his vehicle mode and opened his door to her. "I have used the Matrix to sense that I will eventually need your help, otherwise I have no other excuse to take you to the Autobot base and stay with us even though you probably won't serve any purpose except be a distraction and get in our way."

Mecha for reasons unknown, climbed into Optimus. (A/N: Oh, that sounds wrong.) "I trust you Optimus. I know you will never, ever let anything hurt me, even at the expense at your own life, which is a good thing, since that might just happen."

And with that, Optimus and Mecha drove away, not knowing that they were being watched. "Hehe, Optimus is getting soft and stupid in the cranial unit. Megatron will love to hear what I have just learned. I'm so smart; Megatron will just applaud me for my smartness! He knows that one day I shall take over because I am just so smart. One day…" The Decepticon the transformed into a jet and flew away.