The autumn is deceiving to behold. You wake up with the sun streaming through the windows, only to find that it's deathly cold outside.

Just as I am often tricked by the autumn, I am often tricked by him, left bewildered at what he meant by a particular comment, by a possibly insignificant gesture.

The colours of the leaves are beautiful in the autumn, but one must remind themselves that they are dying, ceasing to be.

He reminds me of the leaves. Looking at him now, it's hard to remember the death in his past. The pain he has been through should be evident, in lines of suffering on his face, or etched in the way he moves. But instead it's hidden, just as the leaves cover the pavement as they fall.

Maybe it's not a cover up, though. Maybe, like the leaves, he's let go.

Why can't I let go of him?

I don't like it when he's not here.

Don't get me wrong. Life is easier when he's not around to glare every time I do something 'wrong' or to yell every time I decide to experiment with something that I supposedly shouldn't have. Prime example… next door's cat. And I'm not bothered about being alone. I'm not, generally speaking, a people person. Bakura I can get along with, and his hikari I can stand, but as for those other idiots Malik insists on being friends with… well, let's just thank god I don't have to do the friendly thing as well. Life is easier when they're not on the phone every fucking minute of the day to talk to Malik about abso-fucking-lutly nothing.

But all the same. It's too quiet.

Malik's is visiting his siblings, going back to his roots. No, not to the hole in the ground where he grew up, but to Cairo, where his brother and sister live now. I was invited too, as I always am, but I didn't want to go, as I always don't. And this time Malik didn't glare and yell until I agreed, he just sighed and looked upset.

I can't work out why that bothers me so much. I can't stand to watch Malik with his family… they all seem to care so much for each other. The affection is sickening.

Well, to watch anyway. I don't think I'd mind it if I was on the receiving end of affection. Especially if it came from him…

Light? Pah. Ryou and Yugi are lights- innocent and cloyingly sweet. And there is no doubt that Bakura is a dark all over. Atem… well he's more of a dark than Yugi, anyway. But me and Malik? I am undeniably the dark. No light could be as evil as I have been, and for that matter not many darks could be either… although Bakura gives me good competition. But Malik, a light? Obviously they forgot the whole taking-over-the-world-and-killing-thousands thing when they dubbed him the 'light'.

He's still my hikari though.

And at times he can be like a light. Sometimes, when he's overly happy, he resorts to acting like Yugi and Ryou… as in, like an eight-year-old. When he sees something new, it's like showing a five-year old a puppy. When he gets home he seems so happy to see me, so cheerful that I'm actually there to greet him. And I have to admit, it is nice, that someone cares. Not that I'd ever tell him that. He wont hear me call him hikari, either. Not ever, if I can help it.

I don't like it when he's not here. The house seems to loose some of its life. Malik is insanely curious, questioning everything, constantly bringing things that interest him home, and promptly discarding them all over the house. And then I get pissed off. I like things to be in their correct places. Mess gets in the way.

Which is why I'd never admit to Malik that the only thing I can think about is screwing the living daylights out of him. It would just get messy. Unnecessarily so, and that would just be irritating. He'd react with horror and repulsion, or worse… pity.

I was snapped out of my reverie by the door slamming and sound of footsteps in the hall. I tensed from my position on the sofa, trying to remember if Bakura had said if he was coming. He never knocks, just picks the lock and lets himself in. Bastard.

"Marik?"

I relaxed. It was just him. Hang on a minute… he's not due back until next week. What is he doing here?

Without warning, I felt myself knocked off my feet by a ball of blonde, messy hair, similar to mine. I found myself on the floor, with Malik's arms clasped tightly around my waist. He grinned up at me and I struggled to stop myself grinning back. He was in one of his overly happy moods again.

I frowned. "What are you doing home so soon?"

He shrugged. "Got bored. Missed home."

I sat up, pulling him off me, muttering.

"Stupid hikari…"

I stalked back to the sofa, and threw myself on it. I watched him, now kneeling on the floor, looking puzzled.

"Err… Marik? What did you just call me?"

There was a pause.

"Did you call me hikari?"

I shrugged, inwardly appalled at my stupidity to let that slip,

"Spent too much time with Bakura and Ryou, I guess."

I watched him sitting on the sofa, his eyes now averted to the floor. Was that affection in his voice just now? No, it couldn't be. In my dreams!

"So… did you miss me?" my dark said in his 'I'm a bored bastard with no interest in your life' voice.

I grinned again.

"Obviously. I mean, do you know how boring life is without your stupid threats and schemes?"

He visibly bristled.

"My schemes are NOT stupid."

I winced at his tone. Why do I always end up doing that? I always seem to anger him unintentionally… Why? Ryou never winds up Bakura like that, and nothing Yugi could do would ever annoy Atem… Maybe I'm just cursed. Yeah, that's probably it. I am cursed to piss off my yami, all the time. Like Joey is cursed that he and Kaiba always seem to be arguing when everyone can tell that he doesn't want to argue with the CEO, he just cant help it.

A car passes by outside, it's windows down and the volume of it's music jacked up. It passes the open window near us, and I hear the rising and falling strains of music as it passes by us. The lyrics I catch seem strangely apt, to me.

Blood dries up
Like rain, like rain
And fills my cup
Like four seasons in one day

Because the blood has dried up. My spilled blood, the blood that I have spilled… I have forgotten. Just as I have forgotten the pain he caused me, and the anger I caused him.

I realised that Marik was waving his hand in front of my face, calling my name, the bored look still evident on his face. Shit. I zoned out again. Really, REALLY need to stop doing that. And it always seems to be when I am thinking of Marik, as well…

That might be because I have to resist really hard to keep my hands of him.

I snapped back to attention, smiling at Marik, who was now kneeling in front of me, our knees nearly touching. I gulped, only just aware of our closeness.

"You need to learn to pay attention, you know that?"

I smirked at how close we were. How did I end up sitting so close to him, anyway? It wasn't intentional, I didn't mean to come over, but he did that thing again, where he completely zones out of his situation. And he just looks so cute when he does.

NO! I did not just say 'cute'.

Great, now I'm the one zoning out, and it seems that our faces are even closer now, as Malik has leaned in. Or was it me? I don't really know, and I don't really care at the moment- he isn't backing away.

I lean in a little more, just to see his reaction. We gaze at each other, and we both simultaneously lean in a little more, until our noses are very nearly touching. I think I'm holding my breath.

I lean in a little more, and place my lips on his.

I felt his lips, warm and chapped, on my own. I grin into the kiss and open my mouth, inviting him in, closing my eyes and pulling closer. His tongue slipped in my mouth and I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the coarseness of his hair underneath my own hands.

His arms wrap around my waist and he pushes me backwards, and we end up lying in the floor, him on top of me, his body pressing down onto my own, our lust evident as we pressed close together, hands roaming across the skin we exposed, and neither of us quite willing allow the other complete dominance.

Our bodies move against each other, and I moan into his mouth as his hand moves lower down my chest towards my waistband.

He pulls roughly away from me and stands up. He smirks down at me, before extending a hand out to pull me up. He jerks me up with such ferocity that I fall against him, and he takes full advantage of that by slinging his arms around me and picking me up, bridal style.

I glare at him, unimpressed, as he walks out of the room, carrying me. I know exactly where we are going, and I am looking forward to it.

Tonight is going to be… interesting.

And I'm not complaining about this, its all I've wanted for a long time. My only complaint is that he's carrying me.

Stupid, dominating darker half.