My God is your God
Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto – totally.
Main Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi
Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend or a ghost of his self-sacrificing teacher, but a person he can respect and love.
Author note: This is my first piece of fanfiction. I don't expect anyone to go easy on me, but I certainly don't expect flames – which will be totally ignored. This idea/plot was bubbling in my head for quite some time and with a little push from my best friends, I decided to put it down in words. Japanese romaji translation (with the exception of names) will be at the bottom of the page. Also, if you are new to the Naruto world and do not know how Hatake Kakashi got his left eye, I suggest that you learn more about it before reading this (because this story assumes that you do know about Kakashi Gaiden). So, enjoy!
Chapter 01: Weakness And Strength – In His Eyes
Kakashi was weak, and he knew it. Even though he was supposedly the great copy-nin that was known throughout the five great shinobi countries, he was weak.
But he did not mind, because many shinobi were as inadequate as him. That is, until he met Uzumaki Naruto.
Uzumaki Naruto brought him both pain and pleasure. Pleasure as he saw his loved ones that he would never see again in Naruto – dragging up memories he thought were long lost.
And because Naruto's smile was just so darn warm - it never failed to remind him that he was alive and not just a weapon... The screams still echoed in his head…
Pain because Naruto was so much like the ghosts who haunted him - his wonderful, strong sensei, the Yondaime and his beloved friend Obito. Every time he looked at him, a sudden, sharp pain shot through his heart, tearing open scars that should have closed by now.
If he was to describe it, which he would probably never (a ninja's life was lonely, and as one of those few that had made it into jounin, his was even more so), it was like chakra exhaustion combined with having your right arm crushed. Chakra exhaustion because it was the most annoying syndrome a ninja could get (in his opinion). The opponent did not have to attack or injure him. All that the enemy needed to do was to manipulate him into burning all his chakra and he was left useless for days. It was not so bad if he was in a safe place, like Konoha, where he could stay and be pampered in the hospital, reading his books in peace. But to get that maddening syndrome during missions was the pits.
Because then he was a liability and liabilities caused their teammates to die.
Although mostly he could not stand it because it was in essence waiting for death to bring him to hell. And he did not want to die – not just yet.
Not when the one with Obito's smile and Sensei's looks was still around.
And then there was the crushed arm. That particular incident happened just after Obito's death. He had been particularly reckless then. Sensei, Rin (his other teammate that transferred Obito's eye to him) and a random chunnin that name and face still escaped him were his partners; his teammates for the mission – scouting for Iwa nins.
They had started early in the morning, Kakashi missing Obito immediately, used as he was to his dear friend's extremely late arrivals and even more unbelievable excuses. (Honestly, how could one get lost on the road of life? It was a one-way road!)
Memories of Obito had caused him to respond sardonically to the random chunnin's statement on hoping to be swiftly assimilated into group dynamics. His remark had then set off a chain reaction consisting of Sensei and Rin glancing at him throughout the course of the mission, hints of worry burning in their eyes. Tension was high and Kakashi found his right hand, his dominant hand, periodically hovering over his Kunai bag and his muscles tense in anger and worry.
Nothing major happened during the course of the mission and all of them were tired and annoyed, tempers flaring ever so often. However, on the way back, they were taken via surprise by several Iwa nins. He threw himself in the battle recklessly, kunai flashing and chakra flaring. Sensei was wiping the floor with his enemies and Kakashi had to admit grudgingly that the random chunnin was holding his own. Rin, however, as a medical nin, was not faring very well even against these weak ninjas (they were pathetically inadequate in his view).
He growled, distracted and incensed, inadvertently leaving an opening in the midst of battle. What happened next he was not very sure. But he remembered red-hot pain that never seemed to cease to burn and a high-pitched scream that spoke of hurt, misery and fear which still gave him nightmares even now.
It was only later in the hospital, with his arm throbbing in pain, that he found out from Sensei that the Iwa nin had obviously taken advantage of his distraction and crushed his arm with a simple, basic rock jutsu.
And the one that had screamed with so much hurt was he himself.
Obito had not made any noise louder than a murmur after the rocks had fell. Maybe it was the fact that the rocks had crushed his lungs… but still…
Sensei's face was pale with what Kakashi supposed was worry and weariness. He did not really care at that moment. All he wanted to do was sleep – sleep all the pain away. Sleep all the memories that hurt away. Sleep and forget that Obito had died the same way that he was hurt in. Sleep and forget that even in death, Obito was stronger than him – no matter what others said.
The last thing that he heard before sleep drew him away was " –shi-kun. Your right arm, you might have to quit, I mean, you have to qu-"
That was how he became left-handed.
And of course, Chakra exhaustion could only be healed with time – like wounds of the heart.
His right arm still throbbed, acted up and teared open easily – like that particular place in the remains of his non-existent heart.
The reason why his sole original attack – the Raikiri, could only be done one-handed -with his left arm.
Moreover, the feeling of helplessness – the inability to fight for his fallen comrades or even those still with him was exactly the same. He betrayed them, because his body did so and his body was in essence, part of him.
He hated it.
Naruto never did cry out in pain – just like Obito.
And so much unlike he himself.
Kakashi always stood from afar and watched as they hurt him, never helping but never hurting either. It was sort of like a repayment. He would not hurt Naruto – the boy who was to him Obito and Sensei at the same time, but for dredging up memories better lost and more importantly taking his beloved sensei, he would never help.
Naruto was invisible and Naruto was not heard. At least they would not hurt him for "getting special treatment". This was probably for the best.
But for whom? Me? Or him?
He closed his eyes, never seeing the blue eyes cloud over in pain.
He covered his ears, never hearing the taunts and mocking.
He shut his heart, praying fervently that it would stop (even if he was an atheist). Sometimes he grinned silently to himself. He probably wanted it to stop more than the boy. Ironic.
And so, Kakashi watched.
Naruto grew and grew. At first he cried – a lot.
A crybaby just like Obito.
Then he prayed – a lot.
He also smiled some then – little smiles that made him seem as if he knew something no one else did. But he still cried lots.
Still, Kakashi never could stand it when they cried.
Was it Naruto's sobs or Obito's bawling that he was hearing?
Hence, once, after a couple of boys (they were forever boys in his eyes), perhaps one or two years younger than Kakashi, left after taunting and hurting the sniveling brat, he stepped out of the shadows and stood over the quietly crying boy.
At least he was not sobbing outright.
However, the teenager still did not know what to do. So he did what he did the best – watch.
Even if he had shut his eyes when they broke his wrist.
After a while, Naruto peered up at Kakashi, eyes red-rimmed although he was utterly silent. They stared at each other for some time. It would have been nerve wrecking if not for the fact that Kakashi was more then well versed in interrogation.
Naruto had then asked, "Are you going to hurt me?"
Kakashi shook his head silently.
Pretend. Pretend he is not there. Cover your ears.
The blond haired boy smiled. The smile started as a tiny curve of the mouth, but soon it became a full-blown grin.
Just like Obito.
The words accidentally slipped out. " You look nice with that smile."
"Really? Really? You think I'm nice with this smile?" his eyes were bright, even if he was still favoring his left side.
Kakashi's eyes were dull as he glanced at the boy cradle his limp wrist while grinning like an idiot.
Shut it. Shut it. Lock it and throw away the key.
The teenager with the white hair vanished into the darkness of the night.
And finally, Naruto smiled – a lot.
List of Japanese Romaji
Chakra – a mixture of energy present in cells of the body and spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience. They can be used for Jutsu.
Chunnin – ninja who are qualified to watch over and guide other ninja. One of the three official ranks of ninjas.
Genjutsu – techniques that uses the chakra in the victim's body to create illusions.
Iwa nins –ninja from the village of Iwagakure.
Jounin – one of the three official ranks as a ninja. Jounins are highly experienced ninjas with excellent personal skills.
Jutsu – a technique or skill that an ordinary human would likely be unable to imitate.
Kunai –a multi-purpose Japanese knife. Can be used for throwing, stabbing or even climbing.
Nin – short form of ninja
Ninja – a skilled "soldier", trained in Ninjutsu, Taijutsu and Genjutsu for high-risk, stealth and clandestine missions. Their roles include sabotage, espionage, scouting, assassination and guerilla warfare.
Ninjutsu –a vague term that refers to almost any technique that uses chakra, has "real" effects and allows the user to do something that he otherwise would be unable to.
Raikiri –Hatake Kakashi's sole original attack. Blue and electric like.
Shinobi – another name for ninjas, usually male.
Sensei – teacher
Taijutsu –any techniques involving martial arts or the use of natural human abilities in general.
Yondaime – the fourth hokage (leader) of the village of Konohagakure.