AN: Back to the modern era!
THE GRUDGE: Inuyasha Style!
Day Five: Wrong Day
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"THIS IS THE END!"
"Ah…what?"
Souta stood up and raised his fists in the air. "We have to confront the curse and go back into that house!"
Kagome looked at her watch. "But…it's been only 5 days."
"So?" Sango asked.
"Usually these things have to happen in a span of a week, at least."
Kagura shrugged. "Eh, I gotta go back to Master Daisies—I mean, Naraku—anyway and effectively leave your group to handle the situation as always. Have fun killing the evil, mad housewife." And she promptly left on her gigantic feather, knocking the group off their feet.
"Bye feather duster lady!" Souta waved and ignored the faint shriek of "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" to say to Kagome, "Nice lady."
"You have no idea."
Miroku rubbed his chin. "We might as well confront the woman. After all, retreating to the Feudal Era didn't work. Actually we made everything worse."
"FINE!" Kagome groaned. "But if we have to do this I want to restock our supplies. And I mean restock…to the extreme."
--
"OK Souta, read the list."
He nodded and called out, "Mace?"
"Check." Sango nodded.
"Machete?"
"Bingo." Miroku held it up.
"Axe?
"Got it." Inuyasha waved.
"Nail-in-a-board?"
"Right here." Kagome grumbled. How did I get stuck with this?
"Alright! Shippou and Souta, stay with Kirara in the front yard while we battle the forces of evil and kick their –CENSORED– mile high into the sky."
Souta rubbed his ears. "I need soap."
"Shut the –CENSORED– up!"
"OSUWARI!" Kagome shrieked and blinked. "Wow, that's the first time I've said that since we've been cursed. Amazing."
Inuyasha groaned on the ground.
Once everyone was dusted off and ready the group headed for the wretched house across the street. They checked their weapons and headed inside at the same time—
BAM. "Why are you rubbing my butt at a time like this?"
"Reflex."
As the four teens entered the cursed house Souta, Shippou and Kirara suddenly shivered, feeling a chill that could not be blamed on the weather. Then they heard a loud but muffled groan.
"What was that?" Souta hissed.
"Probably that," Shippou said and pointed.
Before them stood a towering man wearing a pale white mask with two deranged eyeballs staring out at them and in his hand was a very large, very shiny kitchen knife. A breeze ruffled his shaggy dark hair.
"OH MY VOLDEMORT, IT'S MICHAEL MYERS!" Souta screeched.
Shippou blinked. "Translation?"
"OH MY KAMI, IT'S THE BABYSITTER MURDERER!"
Shippou nodded. "That's better…wait WHAT?" He stared at the murderer with wide eyes. "W-w-what's he d-doing here?"
"I bet our curse lured him all the way from Illinois to Tokyo even though we don't actually celebrate Halloween in Japan!" Souta cried.
He advanced forward.
"HOLD ME!" Shippou and Souta screeched in unison and held each other. Until two identical light-bulbs lit up above their heads…and fell on them. "Ouch."
"If he's the babysitter murderer—" Souta began.
"—and Kirara's our babysitter…" Shippou ended and exchanged a knowing and smug glance with Souta.
Then they both shouted, "Kirara ATTACK!"
Kirara roared, transformed in a flame of blazing glory, and pounced on the madman and knocked the knife out of his hand.
"TEAR HIM TO SHREDS!" Souta yelled.
"BITE HIM IN THE…ooh," Shippou winced. "Boy do I feel sorry for him…"
--
"Did you hear something?"
Sango turned around to face Kagome. "Uh…no. Why?"
Kagome shrugged. "I thought I heard my little brother shout something outside…well, never mind."
Sango blinked. "Probably nerves. Then again, who would've thought this Japanese house had a hidden wine cellar?"
"Actually…I think it's a makeshift slaughterhouse." Kagome nodded at the hanging carcass of what once used to be a pig.
"Then what's with the wine barrels?"
"How am I—OH MY VOLDEMORT!" Kagome screeched and pointed ahead of her.
Sango turned to face a towering figure of a man masked in what looked to be different patches of human skin crudely stitched together. He held a weapon she didn't recognize (a chainsaw) in one hand and a very large and long hammer in the other. "Whoa."
"Leatherface?" Kagome frowned. "But this ain't Texas, bub."
The chainsaw whirled to life and the giant of a man raised it in the air.
"Ooh, he wants to fight." Sango snapped out of her initial shock and moved to mace him in the face. She then proceeded to grab the sledgehammer out of his grasp and smash his skull in with as much force as a falling meteorite. He fell to the ground. He twitched. For good measure she kicked him until he stopped moving altogether.
Kagome golf clapped. "Well, that was pleasantly easy."
Sango glared at the man's motionless body. "I have this nagging feeling that he was possessed."
"Really?"
"Yeah, my spidey—I mean—my sixth sense is tingling."
Kagome tapped her chin. "What could this possibly mean?"
"That our—I mean—the guys are going to be possessed too?"
Kagome and Sango exchanged horrified glances. Then they skedaddled out of the stinky basement and split up to find their—that is—the respective guys.
--
Sango peeked into the dark office. "Houshi-sama? You there?" The only answer she got was some quiet mumbling. "Houshi-sama? Hey, don't make me discipline you."
"All work and no play…"
"Houshi-sama?" She walked in to find a crouched figure rocking back and forth by the corner, rubbing his hands on his knees as he mumbled.
"All work and no play makes Miroku a dull boy, all work and no play makes Miroku a dull boy, all work and no play—"
Sango stared. "Wow. You're either drunk or possessed, and I'm not sure about the latter…"
Miroku suddenly stood up with a wicked gleam in his eyes and held up his glowing machete. He sneered and Sango glared back.
"If you take one step, mister…"
He stepped forward and raised his machete. "All work and no play makes Miroku a dull boy, all work and no play—"
"You asked for it." She moved to mace him in the face and knocked the machete out of his hand. "Wake up!"
"All work and no play makes Miroku a dull boy, all work and no play—"
She slapped him. "Shut up Houshi-sama."
"…yes ma'am."
--
Kagome poked her head in the attic. "Hello? Inuyasha? You there?"
And indeed he was. He towered over her with a wicked gleam in his eyes and his axe above his head.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Kagome dropped to the floor and dashed out into the hallway and took refuge in the closest bedroom and shut the door. She sat on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief.
Until an axe came crashing through the wall. The axe pulled away and Inuyasha poked his head into the room. "Heeeeere's INUYASHA!"
Kagome stared. "You know, you could've used the door. I didn't lock it."
The possessed Inuyasha actually took that into consideration and pulled his head out of the wall with great difficulty. While he headed for the door Kagome snuck forward and got ready.
As soon as Inuyasha kicked the door down Kagome raised her nail-in-a-board above her head.
CRRRAAGGHKKK
Kagome looked at Inuyasha's undamaged skull and her broken board. She shrugged as he rounded on her. "Osuwari."
"Damn," came the muffled groan from the floor. "My head." Inuyasha sat up and held the lump on his forehead. "Why did you have to hit me first?"
"Reflex."
--
They regrouped in the living room to find a white flag fluttering in the nonexistent wind.
Miroku blinked, still holding his bloody red cheek. "We won?"
"But…how?" Inuyasha said as he held his forehead.
Sango read the letter left on the table. "Love."
"Love?" Kagome stared incredulously.
"It says we had too much pure, unadulterated, painfully tough love between us for the curse to really work."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
And so, the curse and cycle was finally broken and the gang was finally free to travel wherever they wanted without endangering anyone else. Things stayed peaceful and quiet.
Until the group decided to take a road trip to a certain hill that was said to hold certain perverted eyes; the Toyota Kagome was driving ran out of gas on a certain site where nuclear testing had taken place and a certain family had mutated to become even more perverted than Miroku.
While Miroku and Inuyasha went off to get some gasoline from the last gas station the mutants attacked.
Not surprisingly Sango kicked their –CENSORED– mile high into the sky and Kagome purified the hell out of their –CENSORED AGAIN– too.
…girl power.
The
END
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AN: Now that was fun.
See ya!