Author's notes: It took longer than I thought it would to sort this out, and I am not entirely happy with the result, but here is another story that's been sitting on my hard drive for times untold. I'll revise and upload it in the manner I did with Ship of Fools, although the breaks between chapters may be somewhat longer.

Again, this is a TNG novel – of slightly less than average length I believe. I've rated it T just to be on the safe side; there is a very moderate amount of violence, and if I remember correctly there are a few suggestive comments. If you read and liked Ship of Fools, be warned – there is no thematic darkness whatsoever here; in fact this is probably as close to pure comedy as I'll ever get.

A Novel. Featuring critters, more critters, an exotic beauty and the usual suspects.

Lest I forget: Star Trek is the property of Paramount. This is a work of fan fiction, written solely for the pleasure of it. I am not making money here, and don't intend to.

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CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Prologue

"Ngahyak?" echoed Captain Jean-Luc Picard, slightly puzzled but trying his best to get the intonation right.

"Ngahyak," confirmed Admiral Blackwell. „One of the main concerns of the FeCoPES at the moment."

"The FeCoPES?" Picard asked in bewilderment.

There was a short pause during which the expression of Admiral Blackwell on the little monitor on Picard's desk grew noticeably colder. "You don't know?"

"I... no, to be honest, I don't."

"It was in the bulletins."

"Oh. I see. I... well, sometimes I don't get round to reading them. We have been fairly busy recently."

"It's been in the last four issues, actually." Margaret Blackwell's gaunt face on the monitor added plainly: Good try. Picard decided on an honorable surrender before he managed to make the situation any worse.

"I'm sorry. What is the FeCoPES?"

"The Federation Committee for the Protection of Endangered Species. It was founded over five months ago. Including representatives from ESPrA, the GWF, Vets without Borders and a number of other organizations. Originally the idea was to involve as many bodies as possible, but I'm afraid those efforts failed. The A.S.A. and some other organizations refused to participate. Anyway, the FeCoPES has now been approached by the Federation Council over the problem presented by the ngahyak issue."

"And the ngahyak are – ?"

"A species of animal native to Yalnrag. You have heard that Yalnrag has expressed an interest in joining the Federation at some stage?"

"Yes," said Picard, humbled.

"Exactly. They would meet all the conditions for associative membership including a single planetary government if it wasn't for those animals. Unfortunately there are a number of religious groups who refuse to acknowledge the government because the government refuses to acknowledge the status of the ngahyak. Among traditionally-minded people the creatures are considered sacred. There has been trouble already."

"I see," said the captain, wondering uncomfortably where he and his ship might be coming in.

"We're sending an expert to evaluate the situation and try to effect a compromise. And we're sending the Enterprise to provide an appropriate background. In fact your diplomatic expertise may be in demand, Jean-Luc," said Admiral Blackwell, thawing a little. "They are... well, idiosyncratic on Yalnrag."

"It sounds like it," replied Picard, trying to keep a note of relief out of his voice. For a moment he had been envisaging large numbers of animals being evacuated aboard his ship.

"We're transmitting all the material we have at present. The envoy will fill you in on the details. The undertaking has the full support of the Yalnragian government, of course – they will make every effort to help you." The admiral paused for a moment. "Oh. About the ngahyak. Apparently they are somewhat like a gnu and a little like a very large rabbit. Bluish," she added.

"I'll look them up."

„There's nothing there to look up. According to our sources there aren't many left, and until a few months ago very few people outside that planet even knew of their existence. To the government they appear to be an embarrassment more than anything else – an obstacle on the path to Federation membership. I should add that our sources are giving the impression of being somewhat... partisan. The government has been quite open and helpful, especially after what we had been led to expect. However, it's a fact that our envoy will be the first outsider ever to be allowed to study those animals." The admiral's face looked a little grimmer for a second or two. "It seems they have agreed on that much at least."

"You are sending a zoologist, then?"

"She is a seasoned diplomat as well. The perfect person for the job – she's the one who resolved the quarrel over the Mulgars on Suma V. The Lady Mallien Lyet'Eltaun Anthura Mal'Tyr-Aurell."

"Pardon me?"

"Lady Mallien Lyet'Eltaun Anthura Mal'Tyr-Aurell," the admiral repeated fluidly with a tinge of smugness. "At least, I have been informed that among fellow professionals she prefers this version to be used, rather than her full name."

"I see," said the captain, feeling a little stunned.

"You will pick her up at Starbase 208. She is a citizen of Ruylan II – you know what that implies. I haven't met her personally, but she has a reputation of extreme competence. In fact," said Admiral Blackwell, looking at what was evidently a padd on her desk and raising her eyebrows, "I should have thought you would be familiar with the name. You should know all about the Suma V crisis."

"Oh?" What now? the captain found himself thinking.

"The material I have been sent says you have been a member of the A.S.A. for years." She made no effort to hide a certain amused forbearance in her voice.

Picard winced. "Margaret, please," he interrupted hastily. "My membership is purely... well, nominal... and acquired through no effort of my own. In fact..."

"You've never heard of the Suma V crisis."

"No," conceded the captain.

"Well. You soon will. The mission particulars should be in your computer now, and I have no doubt she will be able to fill you in on all the gaps." She was still looking faintly amused, and quite superior. Picard smiled at her.

"I am certainly looking forward to meeting this Lady Mallien Lyet'Eltaun Anthura Mal'Tyr-Aurell," he said, and at least had the satisfaction of seeing Admiral Blackwell's jaw drop just a little in disbelief.

"Very well," she replied rather stiffly. "That will be all, then. Blackwell out."

Picard frowned at the empty screen on his ready room desk. Then he tapped a key. "Computer, display all recent Starfleet bulletin articles about the subject of ngahyak. Everything from the last four issues."

The computer chirped and complied. Twenty minutes later the captain cleared the screen, leant back in his chair, and addressed the intercom.

"Picard to Commander Riker. Please report to my ready room."

The Enterprise's first officer came barreling into the ready room about three seconds later, not even trying to hide his intense curiosity. "Captain? You wanted to see me?"

"Sit down, Number One."

Riker dropped into a chair, looking expectant. "New assignment?"

"We'll be looking into the ngahyak problem on Yalnrag," the captain explained.

Riker's face went blank. "Sir?"

"You know about Yalnrag, don't you?"

"I think I do. They've put in an application for Federation membership. But what's the yahyak?"

"Not yahyak, Will," corrected the captain. "Ngahyak. It's been in the bulletins for months. You must have come across it."

Riker fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, as a... actually, sir, I'm afraid I'm not quite up to the latest developments." (What the hell was the ngahyak?) "We've been rather busy lately, and what with one thing and another, I... well, I haven't managed to keep up." He squirmed a little under Picard's steady gaze. Was that a trace of reproachfulness in those patient hazel eyes? "I'll look it up immediately."

"I'm afraid there's not much there to look up," said Picard, and Riker gave a mental groan. He had neglected reading the bulletins. Obviously, the captain had not. He hated disappointing the captain. "You'll find information about the political situation but not about the ngahyak. Apparently these animals are considered sacred to the degree that recordings have been strictly forbidden until a very short time ago. The issue of their official status has split the planet into factions. If we don't manage to effect a compromise the single planetary government may well be a thing of the past, and in that case so would be their application for Federation membership. That's the story in a nutshell."

"And you're supposed to mediate," Riker said confidently. At least this talk of factions and issues and Federation membership sounded utterly familiar. But Picard smiled a little.

"Not quite – not this time. A mission specialist will be coming aboard at Starbase 208. We are to provide an immaculate backdrop, and to demonstrate that the Federation takes Yalnrag's concerns seriously. There may be a few diplomatic functions, a goodwill tour – that sort of thing."

Riker frowned at that, and Picard asked immediately: "Problem, Number One?"

"Well, it's just that Deanna was going to ask for shore leave. Apparently a distant relative has died recently, a kind of godfather, and she's expected to return home and take part in some ritual. Something to do with Betazoid tradition."

The captain considered this for a couple of seconds. "I don't see why not," he said at length. "We have this very capable specialist coming aboard who will be responsible for most of the negotiating. Which reminds me," he added, hitting a couple of keys on his desk terminal. "She is from Ruylan II. A member of one of their ruling families. And although we have been asked not to take this too seriously, there have been a few vague threats against the mission specialist from a radical sect on Yalnrag."

"She'll bring a kind of honor guard along, I suppose," said Riker. "Don't they always have some sort of entourage?"

„Normally, yes. It's a very protocol-conscious culture. In this case, according to the mission details, we are apparently dealing with a very independent individual. Will, under the circumstances I'd like to assign Worf as a personal honor guard. It should please her and reassure the authorities on Yalnrag, and it shouldn't be too much extra work for Worf."

"Not that he'd mind." Riker frowned. "What did you say her name is?"

"I didn't. She's Lady Mallien Lyet'Eltaun Anthura Mal'Tyr-Aurell."

Riker swallowed. "Malliell what? – I'll look it up," he added hastily before the captain could answer. "If that is all, I'll start working on the particulars. It'll let Worf hone his diplomatic skills too. I'll see if there's any problem with the assignment."

"Make it so, Will." Picard smiled up at him as Riker got out of his chair. "And if you could put the relevant details together for me – "

"Certainly, sir."

Riker left the ready room with a spring to his step. He didn't know of anybody who had ever been to Yalnrag. And unless he had utterly misinterpreted the captain's expression Picard was pleased with their new assignment too. Now all he had to do was inform Stellar Cartography and Astrophysics that their assignment had just changed from collecting more data on the Golvani sector to analyzing what they had found, read up on Yalnrag's problems and Ruylian custom and etiquette, assign quarters, sketch a mission timetable, and provide the captain with an outline of all of it. All in a day's work. Then he noticed the air of suppressed expectation on the bridge. The young woman manning the Conn looked at him curiously. Data at Ops appeared dispassionate, but Riker knew better. Worf, towering over the center well, was going through the motions of aligning something on his console. The first officer stopped in his tracks and looked from one face to the next, enjoying himself. Then he cleared his throat.

"Ensign, set a course for Starbase 208. Warp five."

"Course laid in, sir," replied Zikalala after a moment.

"Engage." Riker made for the turbolift door, then stopped, halfway up the ramp. From behind the Tactical console Lieutenant Worf was looking at him expectantly.

"We've been given a new assignment. Diplomatic mission to Yalnrag. We're picking up a zoologist – she'll be looking into the gahyak problem."

"The ngahyak problem, sir," corrected Worf, checking a few readings.

Riker's jaw dropped. "What did you say?"

"Ngahyak, Commander. Not gahyak."

"How do you know?"

"It was in the bulletins... sir," said Worf, looking slightly surprised in his turn.

"Ah. Yes." That wasn't really necessary, Lieutenant, thought Riker sourly as he turned back towards the forward stations. „I'm going to get the preparations under way. You have the bridge, Data."

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