"But, I kiss guys I hate all the time. Don't look so surprised, Itachi-san."

Summary: When Sakura finds out that Sasuke was just using her to get away from his fan girls, she decides that she's entitled to some good old fashioned revenge. Enter, Uchiha Itachi, the older brother. Too bad he's more of a bastard than Sasuke is. AU

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Too bad, so sad. ONWARDS TO THE STORY!

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I remember the first time I fell in love with Sasuke-kun. I was 6 years old and I had just started grade school. It was recess and I fell down. Sasuke-kun helped me up and walked me all the way to the nurse's office. I knew from that moment on that we were destined for each other. Too bad he hasn't realized it yet. Actually, he doesn't really know I exist.

But today was my chance. Sasuke-kun had just broken up with Watanabe Ami and he was on the market. Now, all I had to do was work up the courage to-

"Yo, forehead girl, stop spacing out on me!"

I turned and glared at Ino-pig. She glared back, and for a second I thought she was going to open her big mouth and start another one of our famous feuds. Instead, she let out an evil grin and pushed me so hard that I went flying across the hall. Now if that wasn't embarrassing enough, I crashed right into the locker of... yep, you guessed it, Uchiha Sasuke.

I don't know whether I should be mad at Ino-pig or not. I mean, for one, Sasuke-kun is finally noticing me, even if he's looking at me like I'm a bigger idiot than Naruto, but still, I'd rather be invisible than considered dumber than a rock. "Gomen," I mumbled as I pushed myself off of the locker and tried to flee the scene as fast as my legs would allow me.

"You're Sayuma, right?" he asked, and I swear my heart stopped.

"No… I mean… Yeah… I mean… YEP! THAT'S ME!" I didn't even have to look at him to know he was smirking. And not that evil 'I'm going to kill you' smirk, but that 'You're stupidity amuses me" smirk. Oh why did I even get up in the morning today?

"Well, Sayuma, or whatever your name is," he paused for dramatic effect and I thought I was going to pass out from anticipation. Maybe… maybe he was secretly in love with me and he wanted us to get married? SHANNARO! I could finally have those little Sharingan babies I always wanted! "Do you want to go out on Saturday?"

"YES!" I screamed, as my mind began to conjure pictures of cute little Uchiha babies with pink hair, and pinwheel red eyes. "I mean…. Um… I guess if I'm not busy." Because really, what girl wants to sound needy?

"Hn, see you at eight," he smirked as he walked off, hands shoved in his pocket. I hated to see him go, but oh did I love to watch him! If there was one thing I loved about Sasuke more than his eyes, it was his ass. It was just so… SEXY! I used to have to bite my fingernails to stop myself from reaching out and squeezing it, until I got counseling of course!

"Did you just get asked out?" Ino came over to stand next to me, as we both gaped at Sasuke-kun's backside.

"I think… I did? HOLY SHIT! SASUKE-KUN ASKED ME OUT!" And in a graceful manner, only fit for a girl such as myself, I fell into a heap on the floor, banging my head in the process, and getting myself a raging concussion. I really shouldn't have gotten up in the morning.

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"No," I stared at Ino and Temari like they were crazy. After waking up from my little fainting spell, and retelling my 'thrilling' tale of the seducing of Sasuke-kun (yeah right) Ino phoned the girls, and they dragged me off to the mall. And while this may seem like a typical shopping spree, dragging your friend off to Victoria Secret to buy lacy underwear to seduce said Uchiha is NOT normal.

"Ino-pig, get that thong out of my face!!" I swear with all the embarrassing things happening to me, it was a huge surprise I wasn't dying from the shame. At least I wasn't the only one suffering. Hinata looked like she was about to keel over and die, especially when Tenten handed Hinata a orange bra and shouted "Naruto loves orange, ne?!!"

"I think green is your color, forehead girl," she grinned, waving the thong around for emphasis. I hope she gets hit by a bus. I hope it's a cheese bus, with really big tires, and they leave huge, ugly tire tracks all over her disgusting pig like body. And when she gets hit, I won't even move. I'll just stand there and LAUGH! I'll laugh like I was drunk on life!

Of course, since I am known to get easily lost in my daydreams, it was no surprise that I did burst out into laughter, causing everyone in the store to stare at us (as if they weren't staring already). And while the staring should've calmed me down, and make me run out of the store in shame, it only caused me to laugh even louder. I laughed so hard that my cheeks and stomach ached and I ended up stopped abruptly in a fit of coughs. "What a weirdo," Temari mumbled as she went up to the cash register and paid for all the lingerie.

While Temari may have been the grouchiest of the bunch, she did have her uses. As a Sabaku, she was completely loaded (so was Hinata, but I shudder to think of the explanation she could give to Hiashi-sama about all the sexy underwear being charged to her card) and this meant that she would usually cover our shopping funds. I don't really know why she did it, but I think she enjoyed angering her father when he opened his credit card bills to find out that they were charged over the max, just because Temari thought a shirt was just 'too cute, and shouldn't have to suffer sitting on a lonely rack.'

Walking out of the bag, with about 7 pink bags, we headed to the bus stop. "S-Sakura-chan? Where is Sa-Sasuke-san taking you for your um….. da-da-date?" Hinata stuttered out, playing with her fingers nervously. I loved the girl to death, but she really was too shy. I mean, I may have been shy, but I knew how to let out a good tempter tantrum when needed (especially on Naruto). Hinata, on the other hand, had probably never raised her voice above a whisper, at anyone.

"Don't know. Don't care. As long as I get to stare at Sasuke-kun, I'm happy," I squealed, the pink haired Uchiha babies popping up in my head again.

"What if you end up in a movie theater? You know, Shikamaru did that once, that lazy bum. Told me he wanted to go so that way he wouldn't have to hear me talking," Temari scowled, as she clenched her fists in anger. She and Shikamaru had been dating on and off for about a year, and truthfully I was surprised it had lasted that long. Temari and Shikamaru fought too much to even bother to try and do the normal stuff that boyfriends and girlfriends did. Plus, Ino had the biggest crush on Shikamaru… not that she'd ever admit it.

"Yeah, well that's no surprise. But Sakura's not dating Shika, ne?" Ino said, quickly trying to change the subject. She always did that; she could never stand to talk about Shikamaru in Temari's presence. I wondered if Temari knew about how Ino felt for him, and what she'd do when she found out. She was scarier than a homicidal maniac when she was mad. I have no idea how the Sabaku brothers put up with her sometimes.

"You guys, I don't care if Sasuke-kun takes me to a junkyard. As long as we're together it's going to be like heaven."

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"SASUKE-TEME!" Uzumaki Naruto may not have been the richest, most popular or most handsome, but he definitely was the loudest. He may have been a block away from the said teme himself, but Sasuke could hear him just fine. So Sasuke didn't look the least bit surprised when Naruto finally came running up to him, a murderous glare on his fox-like face.

"What is it dobe?"

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY SAKURA-CHAN OUT? SHE'S MINE, TEME!" Naruto shouted, his face turning red. Sure, all of the girls Naruto had ever had a crush on were obsessed with Sasuke, and Sakura was no different, but it had never bugged Naruto as much as it should have. Then again, Sasuke had never asked out any of Naruto's crushes before.

"Who's Sakura?"

"WHAT?" Naruto continued to shriek. "DON'T PLAY STUPID! YOU KNOW DAMNED WELL WHO I'M TALKING ABOU—"

"The pink haired girl? I thought her name was Sayuma," Sasuke pondered, completely ignoring the ranting of Naruto in the background. If the girl had really allowed him to call her by a name that wasn't even hers, then she was perfect. As mindless and obsessive as he had hoped she would be. He smirked and if he could've patted himself on the back for his genius, he would have. "Don't worry about it dobe. She's not my type."

"I'LL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT AND--… Nani? So you didn't ask her out?" Naruto immediately calmed down as he stared at Sasuke. Oh boy, teme's smirking again. Maybe he killed Sakura-chan and sucked her blood. He would be a pretty convincing vampire. "YOU'RE A VAMPIRE, AREN'T YOU? YOU KILLED SAKURA-CHAN! AHHH! RUN AWAY!"

Naruto began to run around in circle, screaming as if someone was chasing him around with a chainsaw.

"What's so special about this chick, anyway? She got tits the size of melons or something?" Sasuke turned around and raised his eyebrow at his look alike. If there was anyone that could get on his nerves more than Naruto, it was definitely Sai.

"Hn," Sasuke decided that he had exceeded his talking limit, and settled for his patented grunts for answers. Besides, he hadn't really been paying attention to the pink haired girl's breasts in the first place. Too bad, Naruto had.

"Nah, her tits are more like oranges! Nice and small, but they're super perky!" Naruto grinned as he pretended to cup his nonexistent breasts. Sasuke rolled his eyes as the pervert, and just started walking away. Naruto and Sai followed, because though the three would never admit it, they were the best of friends.

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Even though my friends spend the rest of the afternoon embarrassing the hell out of me, I had to admit that I was really glad. Finally, I had my chance with Sasuke-kun. The only problem was that I had two days to think of something that would wow him and make sure that I got a second date. I hummed a random tune as I prepared to turn the corner, until I heard a voice.

"Don't be stupid, dobe. Now that Watanabe and I are over, I need another brainless chick to keep those stalkers from molesting me." Was that Sasuke-kun? He was… He was talking about ME? Who you calling BRAINLESS? I raged in my mind, the Uchiha babies disappearing and being replaced by a scene of me punching Sasuke-kun… no, Sasuke in the face.

As the voices got closer I pressed myself into a store door, hoping they wouldn't see me. Finally Sasuke, Naruto and Sai came into view, and I resisted the urge to jump onto Sasuke and pull his hair. Sure it was a little juvenile, but it would be fun.

"You can't use Sakura-chan like that!" Naruto screamed, and I decided that I would refrain myself from beating him up for at least a week… or maybe a day.

"I'm not doing anything. She wants to date me, it's not like I'm forcing her into it." That pompous bastard. Just you wait, Uchiha. I'm going to get you good. When there was no longer any chance of them seeing me, I pushed myself off the door and turned the corner quickly. Oh yes, I'd get my revenge. No one used Haruno Sakura and got away with it. SHANNARO!

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"Ugly is going to tear you a new asshole when she finds out," Sai said casually, as if he was describing the weather. It's sunny, tomorrow it might rain, and by the way, you're going to die.

"Hn." This translated to 'She's not going to find out.'

"Ugly has the highest GPA in our school. If you wanted brainless you should've tried Yamanaka," Sai seemed almost cheerful as Sasuke realized the error in his plan.

"She's not going to find out," Sasuke reassured himself, as he glared at Naruto. "You better not tell her anything."

"I won't," Naruto said fearfully. "I don't want Sakura-chan to rip me a new asshole, too. She might kill the messenger, you know?"

Sasuke snorted, "You act like she's the devil or something. She's just a little girl."

"Yeah, tell that to Shino. His poor ant farm," Naruto reminded him. The story had been a short, but gruesome one, especially for Aburame Shino. Some pervert had grabbed Sakura's ass in the middle of Jiraiya's literature class, and Sakura had grabbed Shino's prized ant farm and smacked the pervert in the face with it. Shino had mourned for a week, but not before sending a bee hive on Sakura.

"Whatever." And that was the end of the discussion of Sakura.

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"He WHAT?" Tenten gasped, as I popped open my locker. I may have come from an upper middle class family, but I still enjoyed having a sense of independence. That was the main reason I had taken up a job at one of the thousands of coffee shops in Konoha.

I just shrugged, and slipped on my green smock. "He was just using me. And it was obvious, too. But I was too stupid, to even realize it."

Tenten looked down at the floor, her movement giving off a vibe of sympathy. She better not even think of trying to comfort me. Shit like that never works; I'm in too much of a rage to even bother trying to calm down anyway. "So, what are you going to do?"

"DESTROY HIM!" I shouted, slamming my fist into the locker, making a loud noise echo in the almost empty locker room.

"How?" Tenten questioned as we walked out of the back room and to the counter. The coffee house was pretty empty; it usually didn't start to fill up until around rush hour, which was about an hour away. Tenten did however notice a college student sitting in one of the darker corners of the dimly lit shop, his head bent over a laptop. Tenten grinned at the guy; it was almost like someone was sending her a message. "I've got it."

"You do?" I leaned over to her curiously. Tenten pointed at the guy sitting in the corner. What's so special about him? Sure, he was amazingly sexy, but that wasn't going to help me any. Maybe she was trying to cheer me up with eye candy? And he definitely was eye candy, with long dark hair, and crimson eyes but that didn't… "Is that who I think it is?"

"Itachi. Uchiha Itachi," Tenten grinned as Sakura's eyes widened in realization. "The famous big brother of Sasuke. Sasuke hates him with a passion…"

"Yeah? So?" What did Tenten expect me to do? Run over to him and ask him how he made Sasuke hate him so much. Oh yeah, I could just picture it. 'Hey Itachi-san, can you give me some tips to crush and humiliate your brother?' Hm, now that I think about it. "ITACHI-SAN!" I shouted before I could think about what I was doing.

He looked up from the laptop, spotted me, glared and then went back to his work. Jerk. I headed over to him anyway, and pulled out the chair and plopped my butt into it. "Itachi-san, I need-"

"You're annoying." Did he just interrupt me? Oh, he did not interrupt me. YOU'RE GOING TO PAY UCHIHA!

"Listen, you bastard," I began my rant. Well that got his attention. As soon as the word 'bastard' came spilling out of my mouth, his glare pierced me like a dagger. I tried to find the words to continue my rant, but I stood frozen, my mouth hanging open like a fish. He was so cruel looking… his glare almost made Sasuke's seem gentle. "I…I-I…" I tried to look away from him suddenly feeling ashamed for my invasion of his space. Really now, what right did I have to interrupt his work? He probably thought I was such a moron.

As I continued to avoid eye contact, I noticed Hyuuga Neji from out of the window looking at me with a curious expression on his face. He then turned his gaze from me to Itachi. What did he think…? EUREKA!

Before I could properly plan anything out, I grabbed Itachi's shirt and crushed my lips onto his. I saw his eyes widen, but I quickly shut mine, in fear of seeing his glare again. The kiss was harsh, and I felt my teeth cut into the inside of my upper lip. I pulled away to free my lips of the pain, and jumped up from the chair I was sitting on as if it had burned my ass. Itachi stared at me, his eyes opened so wide it almost looked comical. I looked up to see Neji gaping from across the street, and I smirked. Good, now run along Neji and tell Sasuke-kun about what brainless little Sakura-chan did.

"Are you on drugs?" Ah so he speaks. I was wondering when he'd stop gaping like a fish. And oh look, his pretty little glare is back. "I knew fan girls were desperate, but don't you think that was a little bit much?" Is he mocking me?

"I'm not a fan girl. In fact, I hate the Uchihas with such a burning passion that I'm surprised I haven't spontaneously combusted yet. But, I kiss guys I hate all the time. Don't look so surprised, Itachi-san."

HA! Who got the final word now, bitch? I turned around and headed into the back room. I'll just wait it out until he leaves. After all, I'm a dramatic person, and it wouldn't scream 'In your face' if I just stood around behind the counter. That would give him a chance to take a plastic knife and stab me, and I really didn't feel like having any puncture wounds today.

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Author's Note: Now before people start trying to rip my head off… this is not a Sasuke bashing fic! Also, I'm sorry if the character seemed a little OOC but it's necessary for the plot and well… Uchihas aren't very funny if they're not a little bit OOC. Well, review!!

Next chapter: Sasuke and Sakura go on the date before Neji can tell Sasuke of the horrors he saw. Sasuke begins to wonder if maybe he misjudged Sakura, and Sakura's trying to figure out why Sasuke hasn't tried to murder her yet. Stay tuned for The Date From Hell.