"Ah, there you are!" McKay walked quickly to catch up to the colonel. He squinted in the bright sunshine, wishing he'd brought sunglasses like Sheppard was wearing. "You know, you should really tell someone where you're going."

"I did, Rodney, and my two friends always know where I am." Sheppard jerked his thumb towards the Marines that followed about ten yards back. "Ronon's gonna be here in a moment, anyway."

"Oh." McKay said by way of apology. He looked around. The expanse of ocean was almost overwhelming when he came out to one of the piers at water level. It was too wide and far too deep. He needed to look back at the city to feel a modicum of safety.

Sheppard continued walking, and McKay fell in step. The colonel enjoyed the openness out here. The sound of the water moving beneath and around them was soothing. The air was clean and smelled like it. He could remember the smell of Earth and found the memory distasteful.

"Did you want something?"

"No, well, no. I…uh, just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing fine, thanks." He suppressed a grin as looked sideways at the astrophysicist. The bleak darkness that haunted him for days had finally lifted. As the doctors assured him, he was gaining perspective with the passage of time, and more than a few sessions with Kate Heightmeyer. Feeling physically better and being out of the infirmary also helped.

"So, you're not going back to Earth?" McKay asked hesitantly.

He sighed. "I don't know, Rodney. I should, but it looks like it's up to the brass."

"Well, I don't understand why you keep on insisting that you should go. What happened is not your fault."

Sheppard stopped and turned to him. "Rodney, these guys turned my head inside out and screwed around with it! I know I couldn't help it, but I almost destroyed this city and everyone in it. I should be court-martialed."

"Well, you're wrong about that." McKay kept his voice low, but he was vehement. "You did not do that. It was not you. It was someone the Trust created that did it. That person is gone. You are not that person."

Sheppard took off his sunglasses to look at his friend. He was taken aback and didn't know what to say. "Thanks. I hope you're right."

----------

"Do you have a moment?"

Beckett looked up from his computer to see Elizabeth standing in the doorway.

"Certainly. Please take a seat." He smiled tiredly. It had been another long day. One of the off-world teams had come back with two injuries. Nothing serious, but on top of a particularly contagious flu now going around, the infirmary was busy.

"How is he?" She asked as she sat down.

He was blank for a moment. "Ah, yes. John is doing fine all things considered. He hasn't talked to you?"

"No. He hasn't said much at all."

"Well, I know he's been outside at lot walking, to get some exercise. He's trying to catch up after being in here for so long. And, Kate has him for two or three hours a day."

"Are they getting anywhere?" She asked.

There had been little useful information from Earth in the week since Lorne returned. The two check-ins revealed only that almost all of the Trust members involved escaped and the victims were still being picked up. Nothing new was found that would help the colonel.

One positive piece of information was that no charges would be filed against Sheppard. The IOA and SGC concluded that, provided he was cleared to return to duty by Beckett and Kate Heightmeyer, he could keep his posting in Atlantis. Elizabeth suspected that O'Neill and Landry had a very large say in that.

"Some. John is finally beginning to accept the fact that he had no control of his actions. I don't think he'll ever be completely okay in that respect, but he's coming around. His memory is a different prospect. I doubt he'll ever recover more than a little here and there."

"Why not?"

"The latest report from Earth indicates that the drug cocktail he was given makes it nearly impossible to retain any conscious memories." He paused for a moment, thinking. "The closest analogy I can give you is like someone on a drunken binge. They are so impaired, the memories just weren't laid down."

"Would the za'tarc detector help?" Elizabeth offered.

He shook his head. "No. Rodney's been asking about that. I will not allow that thing to be used on John. It would serve no useful purpose and would probably do a great deal of harm. We know what John did, and that he was conditioned to do it. End of story."

She nodded in agreement, inwardly relieved. She dreaded the thought of using the machine on him. "Do you think he'll try to do it again? I mean, do you think he will be alright?"

Beckett blinked at the question. "No, he won't try it again and, yes, he'll be alright. John is too well-balanced and intelligent not to come to terms with this, and Kate will keep working with him. It'll take some time, but at least we have it."

"Yes, we do." She got up to leave. "It was close."

"Closer than you think." He nodded slowly and stood up, too. "Just between you and me, I'm actually quite amazed that John was able to break through the conditioning and stop the overload. Even given the fact that Coleman felt he needed more time to reinforce it, the conditioning was complete."

The End