V: Let Downs and Beginnings

Later that night I woke up out of a dreamless sleep. Actually, trying to wake up was a better description – I was groggy as hell and it felt like I was trying to claw my way up out of anesthetic. The harder I fought to open my eyes, the more drained and disoriented I became. I could feel myself trying to move but it was just freaking impossible to wake up. Then I decided to give up and just go with the dream. That's what it had to be. Once I quit fighting I relaxed and concentrated on the other things I was experiencing in this totally wacked out dream.

I could feel the soft fur underneath me and a breeze cooling the sweat across my body from my previous struggle. Then I flinched faintly as a touch like silk settled on my cheek. It lingered for only a moment before it drifted like a warm breath along my jaw, across my lips, and down my throat. Another joined it at my collar bone and as the two slid across my chest I felt goose bumps raise damn near everywhere. They came to my left side and slowed then stopped altogether. The dull ache I was barely aware of in my paralyzed state grew warm, then hot, and just when I was about to renew my fight to wake up the touch began again in slow circles that trailed blessed coolness in their wake. Then they slid down across my stomach.

Well, that reaction wasn't unexpected.

My hands twitched and I groaned as I tried once again to open my eyes. I wanted to see what doing this, touch it, return the favor. But I just couldn't. My hands did come up briefly, but the effort alone left me panting as they collapsed back onto the fur. The touch paused, then caressed my left hip. There was a brief sharp sting, then they resumed their maddening exploration.

I curled my fingers into the fur and fought once again to open my eyes. This time my eyelids did flutter and I let out gasp of triumph. Then the touch stopped, disappeared, and my victory turned into a groan of frustration. Warm silk settled on the side of my throat for a moment, and when it lifted a cool numbness began to slowly spread throughout my body. "No," I managed to say as the sensations returned but as if from a great distance. A torturous eternity passed and I was dimly aware of arching clear of the fur beneath me when I finally came, but by then other images and dreams were slowly spiraling up out of the darkness and I wasn't sure if I had experienced it or not. Oh, hell, I'd know in the morning. Then a dream of drums and a white city in a moonlit jungle and a goddess with skin like black silk rose up and took me away.

Someone was making my door chime, repeatedly, and I groaned. "Go away," I said and rolled over to face the wall. I wanted to just lay there and think about the dreams I had the night before – man, they were great. The chime quit about the time I realized I was laying on my left side and it wasn't hurting. "What the hell?" I said and rolled back over just as the door opened. Wait a minute, I locked that, I thought as I sat bolt upright and flung back my sheet.

"Oh, Jesus Christ," Rodney said as he barged into my room. Again. He held a hand up to his forehead and fixed his gaze on the floor. "We have to check in an hour so get yourself …." Then he stopped, looked back at me, and it was his turn to say, "What the hell?"

I was looking at my side. The bruises were nothing but a few yellow smudges and the gash on my hip was a thin red scar. Then I swiveled from the bed and headed for the bathroom.

"Oh, hey – warn people before you do that," Rodney said as he turned away and held a hand up to the side of his head. "You know, some of us have no desire to see your …."

"Rodney," I growled out as I thought the lights on and looked in the mirror. There it was, on the side of my neck, two tiny scratches that resembled shaving nicks. I looked down, pressed my hand against my ribs. It didn't hurt, and other than the healed bruises and cut and the nicks there was no other evidence that what happened last night was real.

I leaned forward on the counter and for a moment I couldn't think I was so royally fucking pissed. The sense of violation, and to some extent betrayal, was nearly overwhelming. I took several deep breaths, and when I finally spoke my words were a lot more controlled than how I felt. "Rodney, I am coming out there for my clothes now."

"Trust me – not looking," he sing-songed.

I stepped out and the sight of a couple missed feathers on the back of Rodney's head didn't cool my rage.

"Um, are you all right, Colonel?" Rodney asked. He recognized the tone of my voice.

"I'm fine," I said as I yanked on my pants. "Where's Nixta?"

"I just spoke to her a minute ago – she gave me permission to head down to Control." He turned around as I was putting on my shirt. "When did that happen?" he said and pointed at me.

"Sometime last night." It couldn't have been too long after I fell asleep. I wonder how she did it? Was there something else she slipped in my drink I wasn't aware of? And what else did she take?

"I think our first stop is one of the med labs," Rodney said.

"My thought exactly," I said through my teeth. Rodney watched me with growing alarm as I finished dressing, strapped on my gun belt and patched flak vest, and checked my P90 before I clipped it into place. "Where's Nixta?" I asked again as I slid my earpiece into place.

"Um, I don't know now. She was out by the fountain earlier." Then he stopped me by putting a hand on my shoulder. "You're seriously starting to freak me out. What's going on?"

"I'll explain later," I said and pushed past him to the hallway. He fell into step next to me and thankfully stayed quiet for a change. I pulled aside the curtain that led into the foyer with the fountain and saw Teyla sitting there by the table eating some fruit for breakfast. Her smile faded as she saw me.

"Colonel, what is wrong?"

"Get your equipment together – we're leaving as soon as Rodney is finished here." I started flinging aside tapestries until I found the entrance to the other end of the corridor. Nixta's sleeping quarters was the first room I came across. It was empty.

When I came back out Teyla was gone. Now why can't Rodney follow orders like that? As we approached the lift the doors opened and Ronon sauntered out. His smug expression disappeared the second he saw me and he snapped to attention. "Meet us in the control room," I said as I backed into the lift. Ronon simply nodded and took off at a jog to retrieve his weapons.

The doors slid shut and I was glad to feel my rage simmer down to a slow boil. Rodney must have noticed, too, because he pointed at his head and said, "Were you responsible for the feathers?"

I glanced at him, pulled one from the back of head and handed it to him. "No," I said and actually managed a tight smile.

Rodney checked the back of his head and found the other. "Damn, I passed out, didn't I?" He dropped the feathers and swiped his hand through his hair again to make sure he didn't miss anything. Then he sighed. "Well, at least I got lucky in my dreams last night."

The door opened but I stood frozen. "Rodney, that wasn't a dream," I said, my voice controlled and barely above a whisper.

"Oh, and how would you know that?" he said and glared at me. Then he froze, too. "Oh," he said. In quick succession I saw revelation, embarrassment, and anger flit across his face. "Why, that sneaky, underhanded …." He resorted to a few incoherent noises as he stomped out of the elevator. He whirled around and raised a finger. "How dare she do that to us without our permission!"

Yup, my thoughts exactly. As we headed for the med lab he continued ranting.

"I mean, if she wanted a sample that badly I would have willingly given it to her. But no, she has to slip us both a roofie and, and …." The incoherent noises came again, as well as a few hand gestures.

Okay, this was moving into territory – and images – I really didn't want to contemplate right now. We got to the med lab and a few minutes later I was laying on the table and the scanner was moving over me for the second time.

"You're fine," Rodney said. "That one rib is completely healed and I'm not picking up anything but a trace of that pain killer in your system."

Rodney hopped up on the table next. Other than high blood pressure, an itty bitty kidney stone, and male pattern baldness, he checked out fine. And there was a tiny nick on his throat, too. I began to wonder if she took any 'samples' from Teyla and Ronon while she was at it. Teyla slept here last night – I'll have to ask her if she had any strange dreams last night. As for Ronon, she could probably get a sample from the Doublemint twins.

As we rode the lift up to retrieve Rodney's vest and computer he had his arms crossed and was fuming. "Why'd she do it?" he finally blurted out. "I'm sitting here trying to wrap my head around it and it's just, just …. I mean, if she really wanted a genetic sample there are much easier and less, well, 'violating' ways to get one."

"She told me last night her people were dying out, birth rates were dropping."

The door opened. "Well, if that's the case then we could just send the Marines over in shifts." He stomped out, arms flailing. "And Zelenka. They could boost the gene pool in no time. And I bet Ronon helped out on that front, too, last night." He suddenly froze in place and I could see the skin on the back of his neck get pale. "I think I'm going to puke," he said and glanced around. Unlike Atlantis this corridor didn't have any convenient planters so he headed for the fountain instead. Then things must have ticked through that hyperactive brain of his because I saw his ears go bright red. He whirled around and stomped back and into the lift. "I'm going to kill her."

I grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him back out of the lift. "Equipment first, mayhem later." He started to protest but I fixed my mouth and pointed down the hall. Then he lifted his chin, squared his shoulders, and marched out of the lift. He wasn't even to the fountain before he started twitching and it was obvious he was ranting to himself.

I snorted as I stepped out and waited for him to get his equipment. Then we rode down to the control room in silence. Actually, not so much silence since the air was whistling in and out of Rodney's flaring nostrils. When the doors opened I saw Teyla and Ronon waiting for us down the hall. They both came to attention as we walked up. "Is Nixta in there?" I asked and pointed to the open control room door.

They shook their heads. "I saw her in the village when I came back to the Temple," Ronon supplied.

"Good." I planned on having a word with her. "Rodney, how long do you think it will take to find what you need?"

He shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Couple hours?"

I nodded. "We leave one hour after Weir checks in." Rodney started to protest but my glower cut him off for once. "One hour. Teyla, Ronon – keep an eye on him. There's someone I need to go have a heart to heart with." Before I turned to leave I glanced briefly at Teyla's neck. It was unmarked.

I found Nixta near the Jubjub pens talking to Kintu and Kenje. She looked up when she saw me approaching and excused herself from the two men.

I thought I had cooled down some on the walk around the village but I guess I was mistaken. Everything came pouring out in a half shout. "What the hell are you trying to pull?"

Nixta stopped and her eyes widened. Kintu obviously didn't like the tone I was using on his Guardian and he stepped forward. She held a hand up and motioned him back. The little guy did retreat but he didn't take his eyes off of me. "I thought you would appreciate your wounds being healed," she said.

"Not that," I said. Then I took a moment to draw in a really deep breath, hold it, and let it out. When I spoke again my voice was a lot more under control. "Our people take a lot of offense to being raped in their sleep."

She reacted as if slapped. "I, I did not intend…. I tried to keep you asleep, make it pleasurable, like a dream. You weren't supposed to waken."

"That isn't the point!" I said. I wiped the sweat from my face and forced myself to calm down again. "There are just some things you, you ask permission for. You don't just take, no matter what the intentions are."

The proud confident woman closed her eyes, her shoulders slumped, and she just seemed to crumple right before my eyes. "I, I am so sorry. My duties as Guardian sometimes outweigh my … humanity. When I discovered you were descended from the Ancients themselves, I grew careless." Nixta wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head. Her next words were in a whisper. "That was wrong. Please forgive me."

I just stood there for a moment, my breath damn near whistling in and out of my nose it was coming so hard. "Well, your apology is not accepted." Again she reacted as if I'd hit her and not spoken to her. "We'll be leaving in a few hours, and I'm still going to ask Carson to see if anything can be done for your people. But after that…." I held up my hands as I started to back away. "Don't ever ask me for anything else." I turned and walked away without looking back.

When I got back to the control room I was more numb than pissed. Rodney barely looked up when I came in since he was frantically sorting through data. All he said was, "She still breathing?"

"Yeah," I said as I leaned against a cool wall.

Teyla walked over to me and said quietly, "Rodney explained what happened." She placed a hand briefly on my shoulder. "If you ever wish to discuss it, I will be a much more understanding ear than Dr. Heightmeyer."

That actually made the corner of my mouth twitch. "Thanks, I'll remember that." I started to slide down the wall to sit down, and the second my butt hit the floor my radio chirped and I heard Elizabeth's voice. I tapped my earpiece. "Sheppard here. How are things going on the cool end of the Stargate?"

"Ah, Colonel – good to hear you more coherent this time. Things are good here. How about on your end?"

"Eh, we've had better. We should be wrapping up things within the hour. Rodney is going to have a lot of goodies for folks to go over once we get back home, and I have a good feeling we can establish some sort of trade with these people." I snorted. "You are going to love Jubjub."

There was a pause on the other end. "Do I dare ask what that is?" Elizabeth said with a bit of amusement in her voice.

"Really big bird, tastes like turkey. I'll tell you more once we get back." Then I could hear a voice in the background. "And tell Carson I'm fine."

A familiar burr broke into the transmission. "I'll bloidy well believe that once you get back here. You haven't done anything to aggravate your injuries, now, have you?"

"No, mother, I haven't." I heard a sigh that I was pretty sure was Carson's. "We'll be home soon. Better have those cold ones ready. Sheppard out." I cut the connection. Then I just leaned my head back against the cool wall and waited for Rodney. Several times he made little huh noises and I refrained from asking him what he found, because if he answered we'd probably be here for hours….

When we left the Temple Nixta was waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs, six riders holding the leashes to their mounts with her. She was also dressed in one of those simple little skirt things, and even though I was still pissed at her the sight made me stop. Rodney ran into me. "Look at her," he said under his breath. I was, unfortunately, and I couldn't move from the warring emotions in me right then. "Little Miss Pointy-teeth, standing there all, all there like absolutely nothing has happened, like she didn't …." He made a strangled growl. "Why, I ought to march right down there and …."

"Rodney," I said. It wasn't loud – hell, I barely breathed it – but he stopped mid rant. I glanced at him and it made him pull his head back a fraction and go pale. Whatever he saw in my face right then, it shut him down and he backed off. I forced myself to continue down the stairs and when we reached the bottom I pulled my sunglasses out. "Nixta," I said and glanced around. "What's this?" I asked and made myself look at her eyes and nothing else.

"The Ixlatecutl are active this time of day. We will see you safely to the Great Pyramid." Her voice was calm but I saw the skin between her fine eyebrows furrow faintly.

"Thank you," I said just as calmly. She nodded, turned, and started to walk away in long powerful strides. Kintu and his riders mounted up and waited for us.

"You took that, um, well," Rodney whispered next to me. "But if you clench your teeth any harder you'll break something."

I forced myself to relax as we started forward. Our little troupe left the village the same way we had come in, and with the same escort of children. They tried to get Ronon to play with them again, but just couldn't get him to cooperate. Too bad, I could have used a good smile then. A group of six women led by the twins waved to us as we left the gate. I glanced over at Ronon and saw a hint of a smile behind his beard. "You were busy last night," I muttered. All I got in reply was a grunt.

Once we got into the overgrown city proper Kintu and another rider shot forward to scout ahead. Man, those things moved fast. Nixta remained at point and the other four riders spread out to our side and rear. They blended into the greenery perfectly and the only way you could spot them half the time was if you caught a flash of tattoos. We all kept the safety on our weapons disengaged, and whenever Nixta would halt we brought them up as we froze in place. Then she would sniff the air a few times and motion us onward. It made for a tense hike but we arrived at the base of the Great Pyramid without any incident.

A couple of times Rodney started to grumble – first under his breath then with a increasing volume. All it took was a glance from me to shush him, and thankfully by the time we crossed the plaza the heat had zapped the energy out of him. Instead he plodded along, sweating like the rest of us, but his eyes were still sending mental nukes into Nixta's back.

We were all standing and staring up at the steps when I suddenly said. "Crap – we forgot the MALP." Nixta and her riders looked at us questioningly. "It's on the other side of the pyramid. We need to get something. It won't take long."

Nixta nodded. Other than those few words in the village she hadn't said a thing, but several times during Rodney's outbursts I saw her flinch and the muscles along her shoulders tense. She motioned the riders to move out with just a nod and we started the hike around the base of the pyramid.

It took longer than I thought – the thing was huge – but as soon as we saw the crumpled wreckage Rodney pulled his tool kit from his vest and went right to work. He was able to salvage the memory, power source, and one scanner from the mess. As he was packing things away he said, "Well, that was easier than I thought. I'm surprised they …." His words were cut off by a low growl.

Instantly we had our weapons up, including the riders, and it took me a moment to realize the growl was coming from Nixta. A human should not be able to make that noise and the sound was making my skin crawl. I glanced over and saw she was crouched and staring intently into the underbrush. The Jubjubs were all shifting nervously and Kintu pulled his bow, nocked an arrow, and started edging his bird sideways.

Then Nixta changed. It happened so fast if I had sneezed I would have missed it. The fur came up in a wave from her head down and her braid seemed to absorb into her spine, her shoulders and back took on more mass, and her legs changed proportion. In a couple seconds she was a half-human, half-cat thing. She motioned us back and the movement ejected ivory claws nearly three inches long.

"Holy shit," Rodney breathed.

Nixta took a hesitant step forward and the brush exploded in a flurry of gold and russet brown spots. It hit a rider full on and both the bird and the man screamed as they went down. I only had enough time to see the other cat tear the bird's stomach open before Nixta launched herself at it. She changed into a full panther in midair, her belt breaking in the process and scattering green and gold beads in the sunlight. She caught the other cat, and even though she was only three-quarters its mass, she knocked it flying. They rolled across the jungle floor, a savage mass of fur and teeth and claws.

I stepped forward along with the other riders and tried to get a clear shot. It was impossible – they were moving so fast their attacks were a blur.

Then I saw golden hind legs flex and kick, and Nixta screamed.

The sound was human enough that I knew it was going to haunt my dreams forever. The bigger cat stood and everyone fired. I stepped forward and emptied my clip into it as I did so. The thing was dead before it even hit the ground.

Kintu and I got to Nixta at the same time. She was laying on her side, her breath coming in quick short gasps. I went to my knees and tried to ignore the ropey mass that lay on the ground next to her. Kintu gently lifted her head and sat it on his knees. He was stroking her head and whispering a mile a minute, and even though I couldn't understand a single word I understood their meaning. I put my hand on her side and could feel her heart pounding away under the silky fur. Somebody behind me was puking – I was pretty sure it was Rodney.

Nixta closed her eyes and she snarled. A shudder wracked her entire body and she shifted yet again to that half form. Good God – I didn't want to know what it took out of her to do that right now. I could see her human aspects in her face now as she turned it to look up at me.

Her hand wrapped around my wrist and I felt claws dig into my skin. "Please help my people," she said quite plainly and died.

Kintu leaned his head back and his scream echoed between the pyramids.

They were going to cremate Nixta at sunset. We wanted to stay and help get her back to the village but Kintu would not let us. That was when he told us what was going to happen and he invited us back for the ceremony. Then he had two of his riders stay with us until we returned to the stairs. The long, hot climb up the pyramid was done in silence, and while Rodney was dialing home I walked to the edge and looked down. I was in time to see the riders disappear under the canopy. Two of the Jubjubs were dragging a makeshift litter made from heavy branches and the skin of the cat that killed Nixta. Her dark form lay heavily in the middle of stained spotted fur. Another bird dragged a smaller litter of branches and vines and carried the wounded rider. They were all moving slowly as they carried their burdens home.

Carson was waiting for me as I stepped through the Gate. So was Elizabeth with bottles of ice cold water, but their words died as they both got good looks at all of us. Rodney took his bottle without a word, opened it, and just poured it over his head. We all just stared at him a moment, then Ronon grabbed a bottle, said, "Good idea," and did the same thing.

That broke the silence. Elizabeth started asking details, and Carson was inspecting my arm and clucking like the mother hen he was. I looked down and was surprised at all the blood five punctures could produce.

We all spent the next several hours in the infirmary. While we were all going through our after mission physicals I briefed Elizabeth on what happened. When my voice would falter Rodney would pick up the narrative without hesitation. Carson couldn't believe I was healed and he made me promise I'd come back later for more tests. Then we were all released. I went to my quarters, showered, shaved, and dressed in my least worn mission uniform. Then I met the others in the Jumper bay. Carson and Elizabeth joined us. They didn't have to come with us but Elizabeth insisted. It was a nice gesture. When Ronon showed up decked out with all his weapons and his leather coat Carson eyed him and said, "Yuir gonna roast in that thing." Ronon just shrugged and grunted.

I brought the Jumper down, uncloaked, just outside the radius of the null field that surrounded the village. At first the guards at the gate and on the wall freaked, but then they recognized me and Rodney through the windshield. By the time we left the Jumper Kintu was waiting for us. And a passel of kids.

Kintu looked past us and said something. I glanced to Teyla for a translation. "He wants to know where the feathers are," she said and cracked her first smile in hours.

"Oh," I said. I didn't have a smart-assed answer in me right now for that one.

The kids were quiet as we were led to the Temple. One little girl came up to Ronon and just held on to the hem of his coat as we trudged forward through the heat. He let her. Then we got to the Temple and the locals broke apart into groups. We all stood shoulder to shoulder and I glanced at Elizabeth. She saw my look and her eyes grew wide. "This heat is God awful," she whispered. "How did you do it?"

"I was drugged half the time – didn't notice." I heard Carson snort.

A large shallow pit had been dug in the earth just outside of the flagstones. Wood was laid in a neatly organized pile within, and a few smaller stacks rested nearby. People were arranging themselves around the pit and out of an unspoken consensus we took up a position closer to the back. I don't think any of us wanted to be near that when it was lit – the normal heat was bad enough. And being able to see over heads was no problem.

The sky was still light but it was twilight under the trees. I couldn't tell if the sun had set, but someone must have been able to because the wailing started a moment later. Young, old, men, women – they all started this eerie ululating that made all of us jump. Then I saw movement in the doorway of the Temple. I recognized Kintu and his father, Kenje, bearing the front of the litter that held a large bundle wrapped in one of the tapestries from Nixta's quarters. The old man did pretty good with one arm as they came down the steps, but as they got closer I could see the strain on his face. They sat Nixta on the top of the pyre and the wailing stopped. The silence that followed was just as eerie.

Then Kenje began to speak. At first his voice was breathless, but as he continued it grew in strength. We didn't ask Teyla to translate – we'd all been to enough funerals in the past few years to get the gist. He finished after a short time and backed up. A dozen women with gourds stepped forward, began soaking the pyre down, and the smell of honey and flowers and cantaloupe filled the air. They left and someone threw a torch. I watched it arc through the artificial twilight and when it landed the pyre went up with a flash of blue tinted flame that made everyone, and I mean everyone, back up several steps. Before the flames even settled the singing began.

It had no accompaniment, no drums or flutes, it was just voices all raised in song. And it wasn't a sad funeral dirge either. It was absolutely joyous, and as I looked around me I could see many of the singers actually laughing. I could feel a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth, and for a moment it made me forget the smell of burning fur and flesh that filled the air.

The singing continued for some time, and as I listened I glanced at my team mates. Rodney looked mildly ill, but there was a faint crooked smile lighting his face as he watched the flames. He was even slightly bopping his head to the beat. Teyla's face had that serene look, but her eyes were bright and every once in awhile she would lean forward slightly and blink so the tears wouldn't run down her face. Elizabeth's face was also a study in calm but I could see how tightly she was clasping her hands in front of her. Carson was looking everywhere but at the pyre, and Ronon – well, he was standing at parade rest, sweat running down his set features and dripping onto his coat.

And me? Well, I was standing at parade rest, too, but I felt numb. Part of me was still pissed as hell at what she did to me – I was never going to forgive that – but part of me understood. I would do anything for my team, and if what I had to resort to was, well, unethical to save them, I would sure as hell consider it. She was protecting her people – she wanted them to live, to thrive, to grow. If she were still alive I had a feeling in a few years there would be several red-headed and spiky haired children running around this place. Not to mention a few very tall, fuzzy mopped ones. Yeah, I understood, but it still wasn't right.

The pyre collapsed with a shower of sparks and the singing ended. People began to approach the fire and toss offerings in. This is where Ronon really surprised us. He strode forward and pygmies scattered out of his way. He pulled something from his pocket, and from my angle it looked like one of his dreads wrapped with a piece of stained cloth. He tossed that into the fire, stood there for a moment, then came back. His face was really slicked with sweat and he was pale. Carson jumped in and said, "Take that bloidy coat off before ya keel over from heat exhaustion."

"I'm fine," Ronon rumbled.

"Don't get cheeky with me, laddie. Do it." And holy crap, Ronon did. Carson had a back pack with him and he pulled out a bottle of water. He put it in Ronon's hand and said, "Now, drink." Ronon did.

Wow. That was impressive, and he never raised his voice once. Then Carson started passing out bottles of water to all of us and we popped them open without any argument.

Kintu came over and his first words through Teyla were basically, "Why the long faces?"

"Your people have lost your Guardian," Elizabeth said. "We are very sorry for your loss."

Kintu listened to the translation then made a rude noise that made Elizabeth start. Then he thumped his chest and gestured to the village around him as he spoke. Teyla translated through a smile. "He said, 'We are Nixtahuec, Shadow's People. As long as we live, there will always be a Guardian'." Then he strutted away like a bantam rooster.

"Well," Elizabeth said. I kinda thought he had that backwards, but I wasn't about to argue with him.

Rodney and I looked at each other and his first words of the entire evening were, "Why do I have an ominous feeling about that little statement?" I just nodded in reply.

We stayed only a short time. As we were walking back to the Jumper Rodney pulled me aside. He motioned the others to continue and didn't speak until they were out of earshot. "When I was going through the database this morning I, ah, came across references to other Ancient genetic research labs like this one."

"Really?" I said. "Do you think there are more like her out there?"

"Possibly. And wipe that drool off your chin, Kirk."

I smacked him in the back of his head.

"Ow! Hey, that hurt." He smoothed his hair back down and continued like nothing had happened. "There were Gate addresses with four of the six, and when I cross referenced them back at Atlantis, I found we've been to two of the worlds. It's worth going back for a second look, see if we can find the labs. The other two haven't been explored yet."

"Huh," I said. "Make sure you bring that up in your report."

"I will," he said. "So, are you going to bring up the, um, you know, 'dream' in yours?"

"I think I might leave that bit out," I drawled. "I really don't want to spend any more time with Heightmeyer than I absolutely have to. That yearly eval is more than enough, thank you."

I could see Rodney's head bobbing in agreement in the dim light. Then he started chewing on a fingernail and I had a feeling I knew what was coming next. "Say, you know now that she's gone there's a perfectly good ZedPM sitting back there just doing nothing. We should …."

I cut his words off with another smack to his head. "You just don't give up, do you, McKay?"

"Hey, it's all part of my charm," he said as he rubbed his head.

"I hate to break it to you, but there is a very big difference between charm and ego." We were coming up to the Jumper. "And you know damn well what Elizabeth is going to say about that."

"Well, yeah, but …."

"And if you continue to pursue it I will make damn sure I tell every single one of your lab techs that you passed out cold on a couple of nubile half naked native girls who were probably willing to do anything you wanted or could imagine."

He stopped in his tracks and sputtered a few times. "You would, wouldn't you?"

Now that we were in the light coming from the Jumper I just smiled and bobbed my eyebrows at him.

"Crap. You would. Asshole," he grumbled as he followed me inside.

The next morning, deep within the Temple of Life, machinery that had lain dormant for over fifteen centuries hummed to life. All interior fountains slowed to a trickle then stopped altogether while the exterior ones switched to back-up reserves with no visible slow in their output. The Temple grew dark and a hush fell over the village that radiated from the center outward. Reassurances were spoken but it was still several hours before the normal sounds of the village returned.

In a room whose existence was known only to Nixta and those who bore the name before her a crèche not unlike a stasis pod on an Ancient warship slowly filled with a thick nutrient gel. A prepared sample was retrieved from cryo and injected into the bath. The crèche began to pulse with light, slowly, then faster and faster as energy was channeled into it. For ten days cell division occurred at a massively accelerated rate and Rodney's much coveted ZPM lost nearly five per cent of its charge. Eventually the glow dimmed and spider silk thin filaments snaked through the thick gel to insert into newly formed brain tissue. In the same time it took for the crèche to drain and open the information needed for the Guardian to perform its duties – up to and including all current genealogical information – downloaded into its current incarnation. The filaments retreated and a moment later eyes that weren't quite green, weren't quite gold opened.

A second later they squeezed shut again as the Guardian curled up into a ball on its side and started coughing thick fluid from its lungs. As the spasms died and breathing became more regular, the Guardian slowly sat up and took stock of its new body.

Male this time.

It had been several incarnations since it was last male. He carefully got to his feet and stretched new but not wholly unfamiliar muscles. Then came the shift. Black fur slick with gel rose all along his skin. Bones shifted and he groaned – the first time was always incredibly painful – and his body resettled into its intermediate form. His balance settled on oddly proportioned legs and he flexed and inspected claws in hands that still bore thumbs. Then he steeled himself for the final shift. His groan turned into a snarl and he fell heavily to the floor. For several minutes he just laid on his side, his breath coming in short pants, until the pain passed. Then he carefully got to his feet. A few paces around the room reacquainted him with four legged locomotion. Before he attempted the shift back to human he shook himself long and hard. Gel flew everywhere and when he finished his fur was spiky from what remained.

The shift to an upright form was uncomfortable, but not unbearably so. He reached for the control to the door, and before his hand even came close the door opened on its own. He paused, cocked his head, and thought the door closed. It did. A slow, lopsided smile slowly lit his face as he thought the door open and closed a few more times. He finally left his birth chamber and by the time he reached the lift all internal systems had been restored and the room deep within the Temple of Life went into hibernation once again.

He stepped into his chambers, closed his eyes, and with lips slightly parted took in a deep breath. The scents were familiar, soothing – home. He took the time to bathe and prepare himself for his people. He found the familiar jade and gold belt ready for him in his sleeping quarters, its cording new and clean, and as he got dressed in a simple loin cloth he went over the things he needed to do right away. Pelu's baby was due any day now – he'd need to check on her first thing. He knew a rider had been injured, but not too badly. That would be next. Then there was the matter of the wall. The Ixlatecutl had been more numerous than normal the past few months and the wall was the next most important thing after his people. Once that was done, then he could work on the new project his previous incarnation never got to start.

As he walked down the stairs to the atrium he stopped when he caught a glimpse of himself on a polished section of wall. He reached up and smoothed his hair down. When it didn't comply, he licked his hand and tried again. When that still didn't work he decided not to worry about it and continued on his way. His people needed him and he didn't want to keep them waiting.

End Note: Well, I hope y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is the first time I ever wrote something from a first person POV and it was scary how easily I could hear Sheppard's voice in my head. I do have a sequel planned - up to yesterday I had nothing but scenes but no plot. Well yesterday, while driving back after picking up cat food, I suddenly had this nasty vision followed by a line spoken by Rodney. Needless to say, what would a Ixlatecutl be afraid of? Got 2,500+ words down. Heh.