Hello, peoples. This is Raenef the 6th and Music in the Dark as co-author. We've decided to break out of our Tales of Symphonia genre to bring you this crack-fic of Naruto.
Mitd: We don't own Naruto, because if we did, this would actually happen, and it would explain why Kisame always listens to Itachi.
Me: Two things to note. One, Music in the Dark hasn't had the opportunity to watch Naruto all that much, and two, this would take place in an alternate Universe where Kisame and Itachi are 5 years old, yet still have the same powers as their older selves. Enjoy!
Kisame's House
We find our victims-I mean- heroes, at Kisame's house. One odd fact to notice about Kisame's house is that it's partially underwater. The basement flooded which was convenient for Kisame's dad, who was a shark. Don't ask. Any way, our fools-I mean friends, are playing video games in Kisame's room.
"Kisame, why do you have so many Spongebob Squarepants video games?" asked Itachi in a helium induced voice as he whooped Kisame at his own game.
"I dunno. He seemed kinda tasty when I first saw him." Kisame replied, attempting vigorously to turn the tide in the game, and fail miserably.
"What does that mean?"
"Well, I'm part shark. I have a tendency to eat things that are aquatic."
"Oh…what's aquatic mean?"
"Umm…I think it means from the sea."
"Oh." Itachi continued to flip more burgers than Kisame, to his frustration. Finally, after beating Kisame again, they turned it off and went to the kitchen to get a snack to feed their little 5 year old bodies. Kisame made sure to keep the sugar away from Itachi. The last thing he wanted right now was a hyped-up on sugar, 5 year old Sharingan wielder. Bad memories.
"Hey Kisame? Can I sleep over?" Itachi asked with a cookie in his mouth. Kisame put away his goldfish and yelled to his mom.
"Hey, Mom! Can Itachi sleep over tonight?"
"Sure, just don't break anything like last time!"
You see, the last time Itachi slept over, he accidentally set the kitchen on Fire with Atameratsu (Spl?). They couldn't put it out for a week. They had to eat out again and again!
"Yay! I get to sleep over at Kisame's!" Itachi yelled in a sing-song voice. He jumped up and down in chibi-form.
Later that night
"Boys! Time for bed!" Kisame's mom exclaimed to them as they threw kunai at dummies that looked like a certain Fanny Bandit. He has been stabbed many times, and Itachi just kept on throwing them.
"That'll teach you for trying to seduce my little brother!" Itachi yelled as he threw kunai lower and lower towards a certain spot that is painful to be hit on the male anatomy.
"Itachi, you don't have a little brother." Kisame said as he watched.
"Nuh-uh. My mom's belly is big again, and that means I'm gonna get another brother soon!" Itachi argued, holding his hands above his stomach for emphasis.
"Whatever. Let's get some sleep." Kisame said as he went inside to change into his goldfish pajamas. Itachi changed into his shuriken pajamas and climbed into bed.
Kisame did the same and turned off the light, saying "Good night, Itachi!"
"Good night, Kisame." Itachi rolled over and went to sleep.
A few minutes later
"Kisame?" asked Itachi quietly.
"Hmm? What?"
"Can you get me a drink of water?"
"Ughh…hang on." We hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet across the wooden floor. Kisame soon returns with a glass of water.
"Here you go." Kisame said, handing it to Itachi. Itachi soon drank it all and put it on the lamp stand next to his bed.
"Good night, Kisame."
"Good night, Itachi."
A few more minutes
"Kisame?"
"Yes?"
"I'm hungry."
"Then go get yourself a snack."
"But it's dark and scary and I can't reach!"
"I can't reach it either!"
"Can you help me?"
"Okay."
They proceed to the kitchen. We hear large explosions as well as screams of jutsu, metal clashing, stuff catching on fire, and cookies being eaten. We hear them come back up slowly.
"…That was cool. I wanna do it again!" Itachi whispered excitedly.
"No! We're going to bed! Now, good night!" Kisame whispered quickly.
Poor Kisame…
"Kisame?"
"Ughhh…What?" He whispered sobbingly.
"I gotta go!" Itachi whispered.
"Go where?"
"No, I gotta GO!" Itachi pleaded, jumping up and down holding his pants.
"Oh. Second door on your left."
"Oh…never mind. It's okay."
"...Wha-OH MY GOD!" Kisame leaped away from Itachi and hit his head in the wall, yelping in pain. He gets up rubbing his head and goes to change Itachi's sheets. He comes back a few minutes later to find Itachi…in his bed asleep.
"Well…at least one good thing finally happened." Kisame said as he went into Itachi's bed and soon started to drift off…
Oh, for the love of god
"Kisame?"
"No."
"Can you read me a bedtime story?"
"It's 12 O'clock at night, Itachi. Go…to…SLEEP!" Kisame whispered vehemently.
"…Kisame…" Itachi said demonically. Kisame slowly turned around to see Itachi with his Sharingan active.
"Right. Which one do you want to hear?" Kisame said quickly, as he pulled out all the books he had.
15 minutes later…
"…and they all died. The End." Kisame finished, and closed his book. Itachi was asleep again, finally. He put the book down and thudded to his bed.
...I pity him…
"Kisame?"
Kisame is now crying into his sheets. "Why, Kami? Why did you stick me with this idiot?"
"I need to go to the bathroom again."
Kisame quickly got up, picked Itachi up and threw him through the wall and into the bathroom. He then went back to sleep. Itachi soon finished his business and went back to sleep.
"Fishy, fishy, fishy…" Mumbled Itachi.
Kisame opened one eye.
"Eat fishy, fishy, fishy…" both of Kisame's eyes opened.
"Kisame fishy, fishy, fishy…" Kisame started to get nervous.
"Kisame sushi, sushi, sushi…" Kisame started to shiver.
"Good sushi, sushi, sushi…" Kisame started to cry.
The next morning (Oh, thank god.)
We see Kisame at the breakfast table eating cereal slowly, with bloodshot eyes and shaky hands. Itachi walks up with a grin on his face and says "Hey, Kisame."
"AHHH!" Kisame threw his spoon into the air. It came back down on his head. "Wha-what is it, Itachi?" he asked shakily.
"I had this really cool dream last night. I think you were in it, too!" Itachi said happily, ignorant of Kisame as he banged his head against the table in hopeless frustration.
Author's notes: Well, that's done. I can't believe I just typed that. But, we needed something to do to break our writer's block we've been having, and this is what we came up with.
Mitd: Please read and review…or I'll send this Itachi to your house.
Me: That's too cruel of a punishment.
Mitd: No it's not. A sugar-high Itachi; now that is punishment.
Me: True, so true.