I push my back further into the soft mattress and my chest moves heavily as I breath faster and faster although I do not need the oxygen.

I don't know what im doing, im falling into different worlds as I dream deeply and dangerously. I don't have control over the growls that escape my lips the same with the blood that escapes from me biting so hard.

I can see her dancing slowly against the dead trees in the dead night with only the moon and its reflection in the Crystal Lake that give my light to see her pale face.

A long silk nightdress wraps around every curve of her petit body and her hands can't help but feel the sensual feeling of the material that brushes against her.

I hate her

I want to feel her neck crack in my hands and I want to be the one who causes the pain and fear in her soul.

But yet I lay here and see her so clearly before me that I cant believe it's a dream.

Her skin is so white and her eyes are so dark that I never want to lose the sight in front of me for it is true beauty and even though I still want to hurt her I never want to lose her.

There is snow on the ground but her bare feet seem to feel no cold, actually she seems to find satisfaction from the sharp ice that crunches beneath her.

Those blood red lips turn into a curve and it seems that the Snow White princess is smiling as she falls to the frozen ground and fans her arms out seductively.

In the dream world that has me captured, I fearfully walk towards her.

She's humming a haunting tune which leads me towards her….slowly…..slowly.

Im sweating in my bed, rolling my head aggressively, hoping that I never awake and leave my queen alone.

Her hair is so blonde that its almost white and I lick my lips as she starts to brush her fingers though it and still continue to hum that deadly song.

I kneel beside her.

She seems not to notice me.

I watch the trees blow and the lake ripple and I know that nothing can ever compare to her, the woman…no the girl that I should never feel this way too.

Im Angelus.

But yet im Angel too.

I share Angels love and he shares my desire.

I know this dream is just as pleasuring for him too.

I gently place a hand over her fingers that are entwined in her enchanting locks.

Its only then that she looks at me for the first time this night with those eyes….. They scare me yet enchant me at the same time.

Her humming continues.

My breathing fastens.

Tune

Breath

Death

Love

Things' rolling in my mind like an explosion but everything is so calm and pure…untouched.

My desire to touch her pauses with how deadly angelic she looks, like a virgin.

I used to have a hunger for sweet virgins like my Drusilla, but this is different.

I have had sex before.

But I have never made love, except for with her, in reality and in my dreams.

I brush my lips against the frozen check that felt as if she had been dead for a few days and I feel the paused desire play again.

Im obsessed with her.

I watch her fall asleep every night into her own dreams before I follow her in mine.

She dreams of me…I hear her call my name…she starts with the name Angel and I feel a bitterness of jealousy which is soon calmed by the whispering of …Angelus.

But in not on reality now and I don't have to be close with her only when she is sleeping.

Now I can touch her whenever I want and wherever I want.

I rest my head on her chest and she soon begins to stroke my cheek like a mother does to a small child.

She is so cold that it hurts even me…a monster that has been dead for centuries.

"Why so cold lover?", I ask drowsily falling into the spell that she casts upon me.

I don't expect an answer for she never answers me just continues to hum.

"I love you".

Im growling in my bed, I don't want to say it, the words burn my mouth.

Again no answer.

Just brushing against my face.

But her humming has stopped.

I sit up and watch the sad smile upon her and I know I have to take her, as I do every night.

I place gentle kisses along her neck and I lick slowly and I taste the salty years that have fallen from dead eyes.

I grasp her hand to comfort her through the pain she begs for.

Im so close to the delicate skin and I almost want to cry with her but instead I plunge and feel two holes rip into her body as I bite down and feel her warm blood satisfy my hunger.

She doesn't move or make a sound but the hand I clasp too falls.

I try to pull away because I know im losing her even more but I cant, she fills me with a power and warmth that I cant describe.

Its over now.

I stop, there's no more to drain.

I pull away and look her.

Red stain's parts of the snow that covers her like a blanket and the once wide hypnotising eyes are now closed and I know she's gone and is dreaming in her own world.

Death.

I gently pull her onto my lap and I cradle her as the snow continues to fall on her.

I hum.

And caress her forehead.

I don't let her go.

I stay next to the tree with her in my arms as the lake lies there as dead as my lover.

I stay there for years it seems, just humming and holding her.

Until one day its time and she opens her eyes again….Awoken from the dead.

And as her eyes drawl mine straight back I am surprised by the hard clutch of her hands on my cheek.

I know what happens next and I scream with anger as I am pulled from her.

I sit up.

Awake

Alert

I look around as I do every morning after dreaming of her, I suppose im hoping im not really awake.

But I am.

Im still sweating but im freezing cold.

I growl angrily that again I still hold her in my heart and mind.

I have to see her and watch in a distance, planning and waiting to attack.

But I most look forward to being able to fall back into a dream of death where I can love her as much as I want.

My love

My death

My Buffy