Summery: A crazy little mpreg fic that I just made up after reading FOXANBU's stories. I thank him/her for this plot bunny, but really my mind sort of twisted it from there. Mpreg, Sasuke x Naruto.

Warnings: …um my mind? AND NO BETA!!!!!!! As in not beta'ed as in. It will be written with holes and other mistakes.

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine nor will it ever will be…blah blah blah…

Title: "I'm Having the Bastard"

The lighting flashed and danced before my eyes. I could tell I was gonna die, it's just one of those random pulses the universe send you sometimes, just telling you that you're at ropes end and you might as well get used to it.

But it just sucked, you know? I mean here I am nineteen, and in perfect condition, and my life has to end here. What a fucking waste, whatever. Anyway back to the lighting.

I could see his shadow, steadily growing as he come closer the light source above my head. The darkness of the casted being stretched and thinned and the detail of his face came into view.

"Look what I found here…a weakened," he took a step closer to my bound body. "Little, whimpering, and thourghly trashed Kitsune." His eyes blazed in my vision, those darkening heart's-blood red eyes with three black toma's.

Damn even now it makes me shutter. Gathering my will I look force my eyes away and look at his plucked eyebrows, making it looked like I was giving him eye-contact when really I wasn't. But damn. Plucked eyebrows? Vain bastard.

"Shut…the fuck…up…bastard."

I spit the last word out of my mouth like it's some kind of death wish. Channel all my fucking depressing emotions into. Rage, sorrow, and betrayal. But most of all, the heart break. That rare combination of human emotion that is strong enough to wipe logic and societies impression right out of you. With that out of me I rejoice quietly with in my head of actually speaking though a body-binding jutsu. Ha ha take that Bastard.

But instead of the reaction I was looking for, which would be throwing a fit and tying to force me into submission, what does he do?

He wilts, as in frowning with regret in his eyes and shoulder slouching sorrow, what the fuck? This is Sasuke Uchiha. Like aren't Uchiha's supposed to have a high-out-of-this-world superiority complex?

He comes closer touching my cheek with his so warm hand…A mild pain lances through my cheek…but I ignore it. I can feel my body relax at the familiarity. Touch-drunk, I snuggle closer…no!

The last of my will collects with in my body and I tense many muscles and once and force my body to hop/jump away from his. He smiles, and retracts his hand.

"There you are," he tells me in that mockingly sweet voice. Oh how I wish I could walk up and stab him with tons of sharp pointy things. He pauses as if waiting for something, shifts his body as another awkward filled moment passes, and then releases me from the body bind.

I stare at him with horror filled eyes, at least I hope that's what they look like cause he must have lost his freakin' mind.

"Naruto, don't look at me like that." He purrs and closes the distance with our bodies.

Another steak of lighting flashes closer than the last. And I realize numbly that I can't hear the thunder that is supposed to come after lighting from this distance. I must be in shock, from all the wounds. And after all that I know that even now I shouldn't trust him, after all I still know I'm gonna die. And I know that my body still remembers that pain that he inflicted on it.

But Kami that smell.

That utterly male and wet smell coming from that pale neck in my face. I can feel it permeating in to my skin. Kami, Sasuke is so much like a drug!

Addictive as hell. Luring and so Revenge-filled if betrayed by it's companion.

He's a sweet, fleshly wrapped drug that was made for me.

Gods it was going to be so damn fucking hard to kill him.

Darkness swept across my vision. And strong arms caught me before I fell.

" Always such a Dobe…"

I'm blind…what the fuck? I open my mouth to speak and give him piece of my mind when I realize…I… can't?

My body must have given my distress away because the next thing I know is that Sasuke has gone off on explaining what is evil scheme is.

"You always were such a Dobe, but here's hoping against hope that you will succeed. Now I don't have much time the jutsu will active soon, and I will have no time to explain later. When I touched you earlier on the cheek I placed a small seal on you. That one will react to the one that the Hokage gave you earlier in you lifetime. That is one of many that will change your life." He pauses and I felt something wet and salty on my face….tears?

" Please I hope that you will forgive me. This jutsu could kill you, and it will defiantly kill me…you know of my past, what my brother did to me and my family. Well now I am releasing my self from them. Kami this most likely doesn't make any sense to you huh? Oh Gods, I'm so tired Naruto. So damn tired." I could hear an alarm go off. And the tension in the air increased tenfold.

"No more distractions." Coldness replaced the weeping Sasuke that was just there a minute ago. "The reason why you can't see is because the chakra paths in your eyes are beginning replaced to give you my bloodline ability. There is a jutsu that will transfer the bloodline of another to one with no bloodline by the sacrifice of the one with the bloodline, so anther words, me. The second part of the seals that have been placed around you, are soul catchers, time speeders and health maintainers….Do you understand what I plan to do yet Naruto?"

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I can feel my self twitch and shudder as consciousness returns to my body.

"Good it looks like your awake Naruto. Now can you please tell us why the FUCK you look as if you 5 months pregnant?" I can hear the muttering of "genjutsu", and "to real" before I space out for a moment.

The color returns to me almost as slowly as her words filter through my brain…pregnant?

I stare at her, the pink blob gets larger so I can safely assume a few things:

It's Sakura

We're back in Konoha, because that's where we left her.

And last but no least I'm pregnant….?

I turn my eyes to her, and here a crash from behind.

"Oh SHIT, he has the Sharingan.

------

I awoke to hearing an argument over my head, and let me tell you, that's the weirdest way I have even woken up before.

"We scanned the baby's charka signature Tsunade sama and it still shows up as Uchiha Sasuke. Again and again we tried…

"Enough." Roared a voice above my left eye. " I don't want to hear anymore stories of your incompetence. Uchiha Sasuke MUST be the father not the fetus. Otherwise that would mean that Sasuke impregnated Naruto with himself. AND THAT'S JUST NOT PHYSICALY POSSIBLE, YOU HALF-NURISHED SACKS OF…"

Oh shit….

------

"Have you figured it out yet Naruto-koi?" A pause for dramatic effect.

"No I guess not. Well you know I have always looked up to you. You who had no one and became someone. And so I have decided to ensure you with my legacy. Myself. I know that it sounds weird but it makes sense. I am the last Uchiha, the last of the House of Honor. And so I entrust myself to you. Come on Naruto think, put all the pieces toghter…."

A flash of lighting directly over head shook the ground, and Naruto could tell that it was the sign that Sasuke was waiting for.

"Aw well Naruto-koi, just remember that I love you, and I'm doing this so that you can see the best of me, as a child, as an innocent." With that done Naruto felt his shirt being torn of his chest and fingers working over the seal on his stomach.

….then the delirious sensation of floating. Floating through gray mist, through what felt like hours of peace and serenity.

Then pain, like he never felt before. Like his body was to small to contain what need to be held. The indescribable torture that felt as if he had two bodies under his skin instead of one.

Then nothing.

Nothing but darkness and the sweet silence that came with it.

------

Eyes of heart's blood snapped open. That bastard, he did it, he was really pregnant with Sasuke. Fucking Hell.

"I'm Having the Bastard."

God damn Uchiha's and there complexes.

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Fin…

Not much I know but if anyone wants to run with the idea, all I want is to be able to read it.