Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. These characters are just too cute to leave alone.
…
See Me, Memorial
…
Iruka's eyes were calm. They were patient, they were kind.
Kakashi loved Iruka's eyes.
Iruka's eyes were always seeking, always wandering, always straying.
Kakashi wished for Iruka to look at him.
Iruka's eyes leaked easily, yet they were never ashamed. They held a passion for life, they reflected his fears.
Kakashi longed for Iruka's eyes to see him.
Iruka's eyes held compassion. They were friendly, and most times bashful.
Kakashi loved Iruka's eyes.
But, Iruka's eyes were easy to judge, filled with a deep regret, and never focused on one thing for too long.
And, Kakashi always averted his gaze.
Hatake Kakashi switched off the annoying racket that only his hellish alarm clock could produce. He peeked out from under the sheets, and massaged his tired eyes with stiff fingers.
"Mmph, too early."
The mumble hit the silent stale air inside his empty apartment, and he almost waited for an echo. "Kids at… nine" More mumbling, more silence. "First, visit memorial" Tired and strained joints ached when he sat up, and he wasn't surprised to find himself shaking when his feet hit the floor.
The famous Jounin stood slowly, popping his sore back before heading into his tiny bathroom across the hallway. Kakashi hated mornings, it was just another fresh start of a day that could be your last. A bitter scowl crossed his un-masked face and he tested the water temperature before stepping into the shower. The hot liquid hit him and made his tense body scream, causing a deceased sounding moan to leave his wet lips. Showers were good, especially in the morning. Long fingers massaged his scalp, running through soft silver strands automatically, and Kakashi cursed gently when soap accidentally ran into his open eyes.
Yes, it was official, Kakashi hated mornings. Thoughts whirled ceaselessly through his mind as he scrubbed desperately at his face, trying to rid his vision of the stinging obstacle. Fingers coming into contact with his scarred flesh made him wince unintentionally.
"It's tender today." Kakashi thought harder, "Today's his birthday… excuse me… Today's your birthday, Obito."
It was still silent.
Silent as he got out of the relaxing shower; silent as wrapped the towel around his thin waist and brushed his teeth, gazing into the cracked mirror with his Sharingan whirling; silent as he dressed and pulled the mask up over his pale face, hiding nothing out of the ordinary, and pulled the headband low over his left eye, hiding a gift that needed to be hidden, even though he couldn't hide it from anyone. It was even silent when Kakashi started to cry, slow tears that dripped from his gifted eye and wet his mask. Cold and silent, and he didn't want the breakfast he'd prepared anymore as he left the apartment, footsteps echoing until he reached the doorway and stepped outside.
And this early in the morning, everything was still silent; seemingly dead. Kakashi hated mornings.
o-.-.-.-.-.-o
The memorial stone was just as quiet, but this time Kakashi welcomed it as he started to pray. Hands clasping themselves together on their own accord, and knees shaking so badly that he had to kneel, silent tears still streaming, from both eyes now.
"Happy Birthday." Kakashi whispered, not bothering with a name. The dead knew who he was talking to, or didn't, but it didn't really matter. "I brought you a gift." Skilled fingers opened the pocket of his uniform vest gently and took out a small white lily, wilting from the heat of being stuffed in such a small place for so long. "Here," the copy-ninja laid the tiny flower at the base of the large obsidian stone, "I saw you picking one once, you smelled it, then let it blow away. So here."
Kakashi sniffled and wiped at his visible eye, his other one still aching dully.
"You know, it's… really… quiet. Without you around, it's been so quiet." He knew he was mumbling again, but the silence was stinging his ears. "Be happy. Don't be quiet, okay?" He smiled, right eye arching with his gesture, and his fingers touched the thick stone, caressing a small portion on the large rock that had the engraving of his best friend's name etched into its surface. He'd found the name a long time ago, after searching for nearly an hour through all the rest.
"You never did like silence." Kakashi continued, and gasped when a small sob left his lips. The sound was so foreign at first, and the silence slowly broke when more soft cries littered the air.
Kakashi cried.
For the first time in a long time he let his emotions take over. All the hardened Shinobi training, about being emotionless, slipped. It hurt. It hurt so much.
The silence was shattered.
And when silent footsteps were approaching so cautiously behind him, he didn't hear it, and he didn't even notice when someone squeezed his trembling shoulders in a gesture of comfort. When Kakashi was pulled into a tight hug from behind, he leaned into it, even when he didn't recognize the quiet voice whispering in his ear.
But for Kakashi, silence can only be broken for so long, before it takes over again, and the hated morning comes back. His sobs stopped slowly, but surely, and the tears were nearly dry, but that comforting hand, rubbing slow circles into his back, never stopped. Neither did the voice whispering unrecognizable words in his ear, and the dead silence didn't come back. He hoped it never would.
"You okay, Kakashi-sensei?"
"So quiet," Kakashi whispered back, and finally the silence did come back. He squeezed his eyes shut, and then opened them, putting his calm demeanor back in place before casting a glance over his shoulder. He choked.
There were those eyes. Those seeking, wandering, straying eyes, that wouldn't look back at him; those humiliated, proud, passionate, scared eyes, that would never see him; Those calm, patient, kind, compassionate, friendly, bashful eyes, that Kakashi loved.
Those honey-brown judgmental, regretful, avoiding eyes were looking at him, seeing him, right now… and Kakashi, for once, couldn't turn away.
"I-Iruka-sensei," Kakashi gaped silently, "Hai. I'm uh, I ha…"
Iruka silenced him, placing one tan finger to Kakashi's masked lips. "Shh, it's okay. It's good to let it all out once in a while."
To Kakashi's ears, abused by silence, this man's voice sounded so young, yet so wise.
"Um, thanks." The mask covered the man's blushing face, but the school teacher's cheeks were rosy in the frigid morning air.
"You're welcome, sorry, if you want to be alone now… I've just never heard you cry, all the times you've been here, I've never once heard you."
Heard?
Kakashi thought for a long time about that and wondered if Iruka had been seeing him after all, because one can be seen without being heard, but it usually doesn't happen that way.
When Iruka stood up, Kakashi stood with him. "That was… kind… of you, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi's voice was hollow. His gaze was averted again, just as Iruka's darker eyes avoided his.
"Ne, no problem" The Chuunin smiled, and his eyes traveled to the other's face. He wondered vaguely why Kakashi's eye was never focused on anything in-particular, "Sensei, would you like to join us for breakfast, I'm taking Naruto for ramen early this morning."
"Ramen for breakfast, hm?" Kakashi was surprised that his tone was so light.
"Hai, I know it's early, but I promised him. Today's a special day after all, right?"
"Is it?"
"Of-course. Kakashi-sensei, it's the anniversary of when Ichiraku's opened." Iruka's smile was contagious.
"Oh. Right, I'd be honored to join you both."
"We'd be glad! Naruto will be thrilled." Iruka was blushing again, beautiful eyes closed thoughtfully.
Kakashi nodded and they both turned from the grave, ready to walk back to town. The morning sun was starting to rise, peeking over the highest points of the village, and the world wasn't so silent anymore. At least for a little while.
Kakashi took one last glance at the memorial stone behind him, a stone that was easy to judge, was filled with the feeling of so much deep regret, and never focused on one's death for too long because another always took its place. This stone was just like Iruka's eyes.
Kakashi loved Iruka's eyes.
The lily blew away.
I'm melting
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me, lay with me now.
I'm melting, in your eyes.
…
FIN
…
Song: I Caught Fire
By: The Used.
Yeah, this story was inspired by the song, I Caught Fire!
Well, I had plans of continuing it… but I guess it's good as is. Hope you all enjoyed it. Drop me a message if you want, never hurts hearing from you.
Luvsi.i