~ I love FF7, FF8 and FF9, so don't think I hate any of the games. This is all in good fun and nothing is to be taken real seriously 'cause I love all FF games. ~
((Screen fades on to reveal Cloud's face staring at the camera, admiring his reflection in the lens, combing his spikes with his hand.))
Zidane: (annoyed) Would you stop that?
Cloud: (nonchalant) Hmm... you're just jealous cause you don't have spikey hair. In fact, you remind me somewhat of Squall...
Zidane: It's not my fault Square doesn't put any spikey-haired characters into their games anymore! And I wouldn't say I look like Squall... Shame that Garnet looks just like Rinoa, though. (shakes his head solemnly)
((Squall walks into the room, Cloud looks away from the camera and we can now see that they are sitting around a little table in what looks like a lounge. Zidane impatiently twitches his tail and Squall sits down at the end of the table.))
Squall: Yup, I'm here. What's the discussion for today?
Cloud: How my game was the best game out of our three Final Fantasys.
Squall: No way! 8 was way better than 7!
Cloud: (coolly) That's a lie... 7 made better profits and everyone likes my characters better!
Squall: (pissed) Whatever.
Zidane: Well, I can start off by saying that I can admit I think 9 was the worst out of the three. I mean, what the hell was I fighting at the end? I mean, final battle with Kuja I can understand...but what the hell was that last thing at the end?
Squall: Yeah, tell me about it. In 8, I was all ready to kick the crap outta Seifer, when some stupid dumbass sorceress named Ultimecia had to get involved. I would have had more fun beating up Seifer after he killed by Odin! Honestly, who the hell can kill a GF??
Cloud: Wait a minute, I'm confused.
((Zidane and Squall exchange 'no-surprise-there' glances))
Cloud: He KILLED a guardian force?
Squall: Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. It's impossible I tell you! Impossible! And if GFs could be killed, couldn't they also die of old age or something. I thought they were immortal until Seifer killed one of mine, that bastard.
Zidane: Hey! Watch your language! I happened to LIKE Seifer when I played 8.
Squall: That's cause you never had to fight with the damn guy!
Cloud: Shut up, both of you! We all know the worse enemy is Sephiroth. Final battle with him was crazy. Heh, at least I got to have my final battle with my arch enemy, not like you guys... with your random final battles...
Squall: With random sorceress...
Zidane: And random time creature-thing-whatever the hell it was...
Cloud: Yeah, which makes another point on why my game was a lot better. The entire time my hatred for Sephy grew and finally at the end I got to face him in a final battle. It made sense...
Squall: ...whatever.
Cloud: (snaps his fingers, remembering something) Another thing! Materia system was a trillion times easier than that whole 'junction' crap!
Squall: Hey! Junctioning wasn't that bad! It was easy once you got the hang of it! It wasn't as bad as ff9's system...
Zidane: (sighs) it's true... I mean, who the hell would think you'd have to equip an item just so you could learn magick from it! I mean if Eiko, Vivi, and Garnet were really mages in their field, why would they need to wear certain equipment and certain weapons to learn different spells!
Cloud: Materia was the easiest and the funnest.
Squall: Your materia system may have been fun or whatever, but I think my limit break system was the best.
Cloud: Definitely not! Omnislash could kick the crap outta Lionheart any day of the week and twice on Sunday!
Squall: You wanna bet?
Cloud: (unsheathes Ultima Weapon) Let's try this right now!
((Cloud lunges towards Squall in mock-attack and Squall sidesteps him, unsheathing the Lionheart.))
Zidane: Limit Break? Oh, right... those are like our Trances... Trances suck. My trance was the only real good trance... I mean, I love my other characters and all, but...
((Cloud and Squall are still fighting, paying no attention to Zidane. Cloud is trying to fill his limit gauge while Squall if trying to lower his health to perform his limit break))
Squall: If only I had some auras with me!
((Sephiroth walks in suddenly, not noticing the fight at all and sits down next to Zidane))
Sephiroth: Are we badmouthing ff9 again? And can I join?
Zidane: Well, it's not THAT bad of a game, but compared to 7 and 8, I don't think it's that good...
Sephiroth: Agreed. (takes out Masamune and shines the blade with his black cape)
((Cloud and Squall continue fighting, their blades clashing with eachother. Cloud begins to prepare a spell, swinging his Ultima Weapon onto his back))
Cloud: Ultima!
Squall: No fair! We're not supposed to use magick!
Sephiroth: (sighs) Why does Cloud always have to be such a pain?
((Sephiroth lazily picks up Cloud and throws him effortlessly. Cloud hits the wall and lands perfectly in a chair next to Sephy before he can finish casting Ultima.))
Cloud: (to Sephy) Hey! What's your problem! I was gonna beat up Squall!
Squall: No you weren't, you stupid self-absorbed emotional wreck.
Cloud: At least, I'm not an angry depressed teenager whose every other line is "Whatever".
Squall: Whatever...stupid kid.
Cloud: I'm older than you are! I don't wanna hear it! And I'm NOT an emotional wreck!
Zidane: Well, I was also an artificially constructed being whose only purpose was to serve as a body for an entity of higher abilities-
Cloud: (cuts him off) Shut up! I wasn't constructed either!
Sephiroth: (eating an apple) Yes you were.
Cloud: We're not gonna get into this again! Look, the point of us being here was to talk about the cons and pros of each of our games and then decide how 7 was the best of the 3.
Sephiroth: (shrugs) 7 WAS the best 'cause I was in it. Plain and simple.
((Edea mysteriously walks in, followed by the bloated headless Jenova body))
Edea: (nods, talking with Jenova) See, that's the problem I had with my children too. I felt the motherly bond with each of them, but I wasn't their real mother.
Jenova: (talking to Edea) Well, I REALLY wasn't his mother though. That's the hardest part because he calls me "mother" and I would feel guilty telling him that I'm not his mother.
Sephiroth: (drops apple he was eating) Mother?!
Cloud: (alarmed) Jenova?!
Squall: Matron?!!
Edea: (shocked) Squall?
Jenova: (as shocked as a headless thing can appear) Sephiroth? Cloud?
((Kuja runs in, out of breath))
Zidane: Kuja!!??
((Kuja hurriedly leaves))
Edea: (startled) Must be the wrong room.
Squall: (sad) No, Matron! Don't leave me!
Sephiroth: (confused) Mother...why are you here?
Cloud: (angry) Jenova! I thought we killed you!
Jenova: I can never die, silly, since the pieces of me are still alive! You are one of those pieces since you contain Jenova within you.
Cloud: (sits down and thinks)
Sephiroth: Well, while you are here, why not join in on our conversation. "Why FF7 is better than FF8 or FF9."
Edea: Well, I can say that it didn't make any sense that I just happened to be the matron for ALL of the main characters, except Rinoa. I mean, how strange was it that all the main characters happened to end up in the same orphanage after the Sorceress War? And even stranger that they didn't remember it!
Squall: (trying to explain) That was because of the GFs! The GFs took up memory space in our minds once we junctioned with them! Honest!
Cloud: (skeptical) Aw, come on. How could you forget about the children you grew up with! You didn't even remember who Ellone was once you saw her again!
Squall: It's the GFs I tell you! The GFs!!!!
Zidane: So if these GFs are powerful enough to aid you in battle, yet weak enough to get easily killed by Seifer, and they take up childhood memories so that you have absolutely no idea that people you are with are really your childhood friends, until one of them mentions something, then you all mysteriously remember again... Well, if these GFs can do all this, don't you think they should have been explained a bit more...?
Squall: (serious) No. It makes perfect sense.
Cloud: I think what Zidane is trying to say is that these guardian forces aren't just summon creatures, they actually effected a lot of what happened in the game and Zidane thinks maybe they should've had some more explaining or storyline-time on their part.
Zidane: Yup.
Squall: (nervous) Well, it's just that...um, the GFs didn't need any...whatever...(gives up explaining and sits down)
Sephiroth: (mostly talking to himself) Hmm... that's minus 1 for FF8...
Jenova: FF9 had the problem of there being no motherly figure at all in the game. I mean, nobody had a mother except for Garnet, but her real mother was dead and hardly spoken of!
Zidane: Well, I didn't have a mother since I was artificially created.
Cloud: (quietly) I had a mother.
((Strange pause))
Jenova: (continues slowly) Well, the characters in ff7, I feel were more diverse and overall better than any characters in ff8, or ff9.
Sephiroth: True. FF7 had 8 diverse main characters, 9 including me, the star of the game!
Cloud: (sad) I thought I was the star of the game!
Sephiroth: (long hesitation...) Anyways, 7 even had non-human characters to play with such as Cait Sith and RedXIII. Every main character had their own specific goals and dreams and lives. They weren't all from the same stupid orphanage or something retarded like that...
Squall: Hey! Square got lazy when trying to think up a plot for each of our characters.
Sephiroth: And what's with everyone being a SeeD? Quistis, you, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Zell... Rinoa wasn't a SeeD, but still... there was no diversity in your game.
Squall: We had diversity...Selphie was from Trabia and Irvine was from Galbadia...
Sephiroth: (cuts him off) Oh yeah! Selphie! Is it just me, or does she remind you of Yuffie?
Cloud: Definitely Yuffie...
Zidane: Hey, can we talk about FF9 too?
Edea: (analyzing) I think you're already outta the final standing for which game is on top. It's either FF8 or FF7...FF9 lost by a lot I think.
Zidane: oh drat...
((Sephiroth and Squall are still arguing over the diversity of the main characters))
Sephiroth: At least FF7 had a black guy in it!
Zidane: We had a black mage in FF9...
Sephiroth: Don't even get me started on that whole "jobs" crap in FF9! I mean, if they were really jobs, shouldn't you be able to change them like in Tactics or FF5?
Zidane: (defensive) Well, they were like permanent jobs!
((Cloud gets up, sighing, and turns towards the camera as Sephiroth, Squall, and Zidane continue arguing in the background. Cloud is ignoring it all.))
Cloud: (to camera) As you can plainly see, Final Fantasy Seven was the best out of the three games discussed here tonight, with visits from our friends Edea and Jenova. So please kids, if you hear someone talking about how great FF8 or FF9 is, just kindly remind him or her that MY game, FF7, is the best! (big cheesy smile)
((Sephiroth and Squall are seen fighting in the background, throwing things at eachother, while Edea and Jenova are quietly talking to eachother, oblivious to the fight going on around them. Zidane angrily sits near Sephiroth, twirling his daggers with the tips resting on the table.))
Cloud: (still at camera) Join us tomorrow or whenever we next feeling like having a conversation together, when we discuss more Final Fantasy Fun...closely related to Seven...
Jenova: (looks up, even though she has no head, to notice Sephiroth in a rage) Sephy! You put him down right now!
((Cloud sidesteps out of the way, just as Squall gets thrown towards the camera by an angered Sephiroth. The camera hisses and goes black))
~ I'll write more if I get enough good reviews! Next time, I'll add more characters from the games in. And we'll have much more to discuss next time about the three games too! ~
((Screen fades on to reveal Cloud's face staring at the camera, admiring his reflection in the lens, combing his spikes with his hand.))
Zidane: (annoyed) Would you stop that?
Cloud: (nonchalant) Hmm... you're just jealous cause you don't have spikey hair. In fact, you remind me somewhat of Squall...
Zidane: It's not my fault Square doesn't put any spikey-haired characters into their games anymore! And I wouldn't say I look like Squall... Shame that Garnet looks just like Rinoa, though. (shakes his head solemnly)
((Squall walks into the room, Cloud looks away from the camera and we can now see that they are sitting around a little table in what looks like a lounge. Zidane impatiently twitches his tail and Squall sits down at the end of the table.))
Squall: Yup, I'm here. What's the discussion for today?
Cloud: How my game was the best game out of our three Final Fantasys.
Squall: No way! 8 was way better than 7!
Cloud: (coolly) That's a lie... 7 made better profits and everyone likes my characters better!
Squall: (pissed) Whatever.
Zidane: Well, I can start off by saying that I can admit I think 9 was the worst out of the three. I mean, what the hell was I fighting at the end? I mean, final battle with Kuja I can understand...but what the hell was that last thing at the end?
Squall: Yeah, tell me about it. In 8, I was all ready to kick the crap outta Seifer, when some stupid dumbass sorceress named Ultimecia had to get involved. I would have had more fun beating up Seifer after he killed by Odin! Honestly, who the hell can kill a GF??
Cloud: Wait a minute, I'm confused.
((Zidane and Squall exchange 'no-surprise-there' glances))
Cloud: He KILLED a guardian force?
Squall: Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. It's impossible I tell you! Impossible! And if GFs could be killed, couldn't they also die of old age or something. I thought they were immortal until Seifer killed one of mine, that bastard.
Zidane: Hey! Watch your language! I happened to LIKE Seifer when I played 8.
Squall: That's cause you never had to fight with the damn guy!
Cloud: Shut up, both of you! We all know the worse enemy is Sephiroth. Final battle with him was crazy. Heh, at least I got to have my final battle with my arch enemy, not like you guys... with your random final battles...
Squall: With random sorceress...
Zidane: And random time creature-thing-whatever the hell it was...
Cloud: Yeah, which makes another point on why my game was a lot better. The entire time my hatred for Sephy grew and finally at the end I got to face him in a final battle. It made sense...
Squall: ...whatever.
Cloud: (snaps his fingers, remembering something) Another thing! Materia system was a trillion times easier than that whole 'junction' crap!
Squall: Hey! Junctioning wasn't that bad! It was easy once you got the hang of it! It wasn't as bad as ff9's system...
Zidane: (sighs) it's true... I mean, who the hell would think you'd have to equip an item just so you could learn magick from it! I mean if Eiko, Vivi, and Garnet were really mages in their field, why would they need to wear certain equipment and certain weapons to learn different spells!
Cloud: Materia was the easiest and the funnest.
Squall: Your materia system may have been fun or whatever, but I think my limit break system was the best.
Cloud: Definitely not! Omnislash could kick the crap outta Lionheart any day of the week and twice on Sunday!
Squall: You wanna bet?
Cloud: (unsheathes Ultima Weapon) Let's try this right now!
((Cloud lunges towards Squall in mock-attack and Squall sidesteps him, unsheathing the Lionheart.))
Zidane: Limit Break? Oh, right... those are like our Trances... Trances suck. My trance was the only real good trance... I mean, I love my other characters and all, but...
((Cloud and Squall are still fighting, paying no attention to Zidane. Cloud is trying to fill his limit gauge while Squall if trying to lower his health to perform his limit break))
Squall: If only I had some auras with me!
((Sephiroth walks in suddenly, not noticing the fight at all and sits down next to Zidane))
Sephiroth: Are we badmouthing ff9 again? And can I join?
Zidane: Well, it's not THAT bad of a game, but compared to 7 and 8, I don't think it's that good...
Sephiroth: Agreed. (takes out Masamune and shines the blade with his black cape)
((Cloud and Squall continue fighting, their blades clashing with eachother. Cloud begins to prepare a spell, swinging his Ultima Weapon onto his back))
Cloud: Ultima!
Squall: No fair! We're not supposed to use magick!
Sephiroth: (sighs) Why does Cloud always have to be such a pain?
((Sephiroth lazily picks up Cloud and throws him effortlessly. Cloud hits the wall and lands perfectly in a chair next to Sephy before he can finish casting Ultima.))
Cloud: (to Sephy) Hey! What's your problem! I was gonna beat up Squall!
Squall: No you weren't, you stupid self-absorbed emotional wreck.
Cloud: At least, I'm not an angry depressed teenager whose every other line is "Whatever".
Squall: Whatever...stupid kid.
Cloud: I'm older than you are! I don't wanna hear it! And I'm NOT an emotional wreck!
Zidane: Well, I was also an artificially constructed being whose only purpose was to serve as a body for an entity of higher abilities-
Cloud: (cuts him off) Shut up! I wasn't constructed either!
Sephiroth: (eating an apple) Yes you were.
Cloud: We're not gonna get into this again! Look, the point of us being here was to talk about the cons and pros of each of our games and then decide how 7 was the best of the 3.
Sephiroth: (shrugs) 7 WAS the best 'cause I was in it. Plain and simple.
((Edea mysteriously walks in, followed by the bloated headless Jenova body))
Edea: (nods, talking with Jenova) See, that's the problem I had with my children too. I felt the motherly bond with each of them, but I wasn't their real mother.
Jenova: (talking to Edea) Well, I REALLY wasn't his mother though. That's the hardest part because he calls me "mother" and I would feel guilty telling him that I'm not his mother.
Sephiroth: (drops apple he was eating) Mother?!
Cloud: (alarmed) Jenova?!
Squall: Matron?!!
Edea: (shocked) Squall?
Jenova: (as shocked as a headless thing can appear) Sephiroth? Cloud?
((Kuja runs in, out of breath))
Zidane: Kuja!!??
((Kuja hurriedly leaves))
Edea: (startled) Must be the wrong room.
Squall: (sad) No, Matron! Don't leave me!
Sephiroth: (confused) Mother...why are you here?
Cloud: (angry) Jenova! I thought we killed you!
Jenova: I can never die, silly, since the pieces of me are still alive! You are one of those pieces since you contain Jenova within you.
Cloud: (sits down and thinks)
Sephiroth: Well, while you are here, why not join in on our conversation. "Why FF7 is better than FF8 or FF9."
Edea: Well, I can say that it didn't make any sense that I just happened to be the matron for ALL of the main characters, except Rinoa. I mean, how strange was it that all the main characters happened to end up in the same orphanage after the Sorceress War? And even stranger that they didn't remember it!
Squall: (trying to explain) That was because of the GFs! The GFs took up memory space in our minds once we junctioned with them! Honest!
Cloud: (skeptical) Aw, come on. How could you forget about the children you grew up with! You didn't even remember who Ellone was once you saw her again!
Squall: It's the GFs I tell you! The GFs!!!!
Zidane: So if these GFs are powerful enough to aid you in battle, yet weak enough to get easily killed by Seifer, and they take up childhood memories so that you have absolutely no idea that people you are with are really your childhood friends, until one of them mentions something, then you all mysteriously remember again... Well, if these GFs can do all this, don't you think they should have been explained a bit more...?
Squall: (serious) No. It makes perfect sense.
Cloud: I think what Zidane is trying to say is that these guardian forces aren't just summon creatures, they actually effected a lot of what happened in the game and Zidane thinks maybe they should've had some more explaining or storyline-time on their part.
Zidane: Yup.
Squall: (nervous) Well, it's just that...um, the GFs didn't need any...whatever...(gives up explaining and sits down)
Sephiroth: (mostly talking to himself) Hmm... that's minus 1 for FF8...
Jenova: FF9 had the problem of there being no motherly figure at all in the game. I mean, nobody had a mother except for Garnet, but her real mother was dead and hardly spoken of!
Zidane: Well, I didn't have a mother since I was artificially created.
Cloud: (quietly) I had a mother.
((Strange pause))
Jenova: (continues slowly) Well, the characters in ff7, I feel were more diverse and overall better than any characters in ff8, or ff9.
Sephiroth: True. FF7 had 8 diverse main characters, 9 including me, the star of the game!
Cloud: (sad) I thought I was the star of the game!
Sephiroth: (long hesitation...) Anyways, 7 even had non-human characters to play with such as Cait Sith and RedXIII. Every main character had their own specific goals and dreams and lives. They weren't all from the same stupid orphanage or something retarded like that...
Squall: Hey! Square got lazy when trying to think up a plot for each of our characters.
Sephiroth: And what's with everyone being a SeeD? Quistis, you, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Zell... Rinoa wasn't a SeeD, but still... there was no diversity in your game.
Squall: We had diversity...Selphie was from Trabia and Irvine was from Galbadia...
Sephiroth: (cuts him off) Oh yeah! Selphie! Is it just me, or does she remind you of Yuffie?
Cloud: Definitely Yuffie...
Zidane: Hey, can we talk about FF9 too?
Edea: (analyzing) I think you're already outta the final standing for which game is on top. It's either FF8 or FF7...FF9 lost by a lot I think.
Zidane: oh drat...
((Sephiroth and Squall are still arguing over the diversity of the main characters))
Sephiroth: At least FF7 had a black guy in it!
Zidane: We had a black mage in FF9...
Sephiroth: Don't even get me started on that whole "jobs" crap in FF9! I mean, if they were really jobs, shouldn't you be able to change them like in Tactics or FF5?
Zidane: (defensive) Well, they were like permanent jobs!
((Cloud gets up, sighing, and turns towards the camera as Sephiroth, Squall, and Zidane continue arguing in the background. Cloud is ignoring it all.))
Cloud: (to camera) As you can plainly see, Final Fantasy Seven was the best out of the three games discussed here tonight, with visits from our friends Edea and Jenova. So please kids, if you hear someone talking about how great FF8 or FF9 is, just kindly remind him or her that MY game, FF7, is the best! (big cheesy smile)
((Sephiroth and Squall are seen fighting in the background, throwing things at eachother, while Edea and Jenova are quietly talking to eachother, oblivious to the fight going on around them. Zidane angrily sits near Sephiroth, twirling his daggers with the tips resting on the table.))
Cloud: (still at camera) Join us tomorrow or whenever we next feeling like having a conversation together, when we discuss more Final Fantasy Fun...closely related to Seven...
Jenova: (looks up, even though she has no head, to notice Sephiroth in a rage) Sephy! You put him down right now!
((Cloud sidesteps out of the way, just as Squall gets thrown towards the camera by an angered Sephiroth. The camera hisses and goes black))
~ I'll write more if I get enough good reviews! Next time, I'll add more characters from the games in. And we'll have much more to discuss next time about the three games too! ~