A/N: what is life? Here I am, WELL over 10 years after I first published this story. I had about half of this chapter just saved on my computer from years ago and I thought, why not finish the chapter? What else am I doing during this quarantine time? I had this story mapped out from the beginning (18 year old Megan had foresight? GASP), so I know how I wanted it to end. Honestly this could have been one last chapter, but there's a big fight scene that I just don't know if I can get through. I just wanted to get this out there and see if there was any interest left in it at all. Myself not having watched the show in years, I'm mostly just going off of memory and so the characters, all though this is fan fiction, may be OOC. (look at me, remembering the lingo). So here you go, what may be the last chapter of this I ever write. (Honestly, I couldn't remember how to upload shit onto this site so that took me a HOT minute to figure out).

I just wanted to feel the life in me

The gravel of the roof crunched under her boots as she landed on top of Titan's Tower. Starfire let out a small sob as she then dropped to her knees, relieved to finally reach her home. After a tremendous effort to cross the bay to get to the Tower, Starfire was so happy to finally be home. Even with the gravel digging into the skin on her knees, she was glad to be here.

"Even if my friends are not," She whispered to herself as she let tears run down her cheeks.

She walked to the gaping hole in the roof from where Slade and the other villian's had exploded the roof of her Tower. She jumped down, landing harder than she expected. As she stood, the Tower was eerie without the other members of the Titan's.

Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she went to the light switch on the far wall, and to her surprise, the overhead lights went on in the Titan's common room. There was rubble and debris everywhere. She took a deep breath and truly let herself feel how exhausted she was. Starfire sneezed, the dust was floating around in the air. She stepped over a chunk of ceiling to the couch. Brushing off some dust and concrete pieces, she laid her head down on one of the pillows and closed her eyes, folding her arms over her chest.

Hearing the silence in the Tower wasn't comforting, in fact, it was unsettling. Starfire thought that going back to the Tower would bring her reprieve; but being the only one here, she just felt the sorrow more acutely. She missed her friends; she missed her old life, the life of the Titan's. She was scared, exhausted, broken and alone. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she felt the despair roll over and through her. Images of her friends came to mind, along with all of the events of the last few days. She gained Robin's heart over the last few weeks, and then lost him and everything else in the blink of an eye. Taking her own sister's life, and feeling that blood on her hands. Turning on her side towards the back of the couch, sneezing after unsettling some rumble, Starfire cried. Letting the hopelessness take over, Starfire sobbed until she finally fell asleep.

Giving up had never been an option. In his entire life, giving up was never an option. From his lost childhood to his violent upbringing- he was never given the option to quit. He figured it wasn't in his nature.

But he had given up now.

Robin parked his cycle and took off his helmet in the garage of the Tower. He felt oddly calm as he un-straddled the bike. Sighing, he guessed he should have felt enraged, disappointed or maybe even sorrow. Those were mostly likely the feelings he would have had in the past- before all of this.

He had let everyone down; his team, his teammates who were his only family, his only friends. Robin had let the people of Jump City down, he had let everyone down.

"It can't all be my responsibility," He said to himself, starting to chuckle. The fate of every person in the country was in his hands; his hands. He was barely an adult, and this was all on him. People he'd never met were counting on him. Their lives were at stake. "How can it be?" Robin laughed harder. "This is fucked up!" Tears were streaming down his face he was laughing so hard. And after a while, the laughing stopped, but the tears didn't.

Robin broke a little in the basement garage of Titan's Tower. Rubbing his eyes, he took a deep breath and took the elevator up to the top level.

Robin couldn't remember the last thing he ate, or when it was he ate. As he opened the refrigerator- he shouldn't have been surprised to see next to nothing. They had been gone for weeks, of course there wouldn't be food in the fridge. Opening the refrigerator, he spotted a box of frozen waffles. In a few minutes, two cooked waffles popped out of the toaster and he spread some peanut butter on them and made a makeshift sandwich.

He didn't realize how famished he was until that first bite. He stood there in the kitchen, ravenously eating the waffle as fast as he could. Just as he thought he was going to make another, a wave of exhaustion hit and he decided to rest a few minutes.

As he made his way around the couch, he stopped in his tracks to see Starfire curled asleep on the couch.

Part of Robin's training was to notice little things. If something was out of place, or the way someone's eyes tended to shift if they were lying. He noted the goosebumps on Starfire exposed arms, the way she was curled up tightly on the couch, her breathing even and slow. Robin saw the tear streaked lines down her face and her chapped lips and puffy eyes.

Guilt sat like a rock in his throat. How badly he treated her. How badly he treated all of them at times. But he was most upset with himself over sending her and Cyborg out, not knowing if Raven and Beast Boy were okay. There were so many things he wanted to say to her; so many things that he didn't think he would ever say to her. How much he truly loved her; even if it didn't always seem like it.

If they made it out of this… He didn't know what would happen if he made it out of this. What would he do? He closed his eyes, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it," He muttered quietly.

Not wanting to disturb Starfire, he took a seat towards the opposite end of the couch, sliding his body down so his head rested on the back of the couch. 'Just a few minutes,' he thought as the pull of exhaustion dragged him deeper and deeper.

"As far as I know, Robin and Starfire haven't found the Chronoton detonator," Cyborg explained as the reunited trio walked down the deserted city streets.

"So they're alright?" Raven questioned as Beast Boy groaned next to her. He held onto his side, he was positive at least one of his ribs was broken.

"Last time I checked," Cyborg nodded, warily scanning their surroundings. "But, that was a while ago… We haven't been able to get in contact with any other Titans…"

"Bumblebee?" Raven asked quietly and when Cyborg's shoulders tensed and he didn't answer, she felt the last of her hope fleet away. "We should get back to the tower and tend to him," Raven hoped Cyborg could see the urgency in her eyes. She didn't want to alarm Beast Boy, but he was still bleeding and though he was walking relatively well, his ribs concerned her. She was too drained to try to help the healing process.

Cyborg nodded once. "We've got less then five hours before midnight…" He spoke tensely. Raven understood the unspoken words of Cyborg. There wasn't any hope of them finding the Chronotron detonator. They lost. They were broken too; she assumed if Cyborg hadn't heard from any of the honorary Titans, it meant they had failed too. Beast Boy was badly hurt, she was mentally and physically drained, as well as Cyborg. She couldn't imagine Starfire and Robin were in better shape then them. This was the end.

Beast Boy, Raven and Cyborg made it to the Tower about a half hour later, using the tunnel under the water that the T car drove through to get off the island. As they took the elevator up to the medical bay, they were silent. "Do you need me?" Cyborg asked as the elevator door opened. Raven and Beast Boy stepped off, Beast Boy was covered in a fine sweat.

Raven swallowed hard, "No, what do you need to do?"

"I'm just going to recharge my batteries for a little bit, report back upstairs in 30, see if Robin is there and wants me to…" He trailed off a second, his shoulders sagging. "I don't know."

Raven nodded to Cyborg, "We'll meet you up there, I'm going to try to get something for him." She said as she had Beast Boy's arm around her shoulder. The doors closed then, leaving Raven and Beast Boy in the hallway alone. "Come on," She whispered gently as the doors to the medical bay opened. Beast Boy all but collapsed on the gurney near the door.

Raven grabbed the disinfectant, gauze, tape and set to cleaning the wounds that were visible to her. "Rae," Tears formed in his eyes as he looked up at her. "Everything fucking hurts," He managed to say as there was more sweat on his brow.

She knew that there was morphine here, but not sure how much to give him. She grabbed one of the pre-dispensed syringes of morphine and took to putting half of it into Beast Boy's unaffected shoulder. His breathing regulated and she finished bandaging his forehead and cleaning the scrapes on his arms. His ribs were next.

She closed her eyes and tried to channel the last drops of energy she had into setting his ribs. Her healing glow emanated from her hands and he groaned as there was a popping sound as his ribs set. Raven's vision started going dark at the corners of her eyes. She groped behind her for a chair and thankfully found one as she slunk back into it, losing consciousness.

Cyborg, after recharging his batter for a half hour, took the elevator up to the top level common room. At this rate, they had just over three hours to stop the detonator and he didn't see how that was possible. Have the Boy Wonder chew him out over it, he didn't fucking care anymore.

When he walked into the common room, there was rumble everywhere. Walking around the couch, he stopped Starfire curled up asleep, as well as Robin asleep there too. He noticed the tear stains on Starfire's face and the grime that covered Robin. They must not have been here very long. He almost didn't want to wake them, but he figured they could sleep when they were dead, which might not be too much longer.

He placed a hand on Robin's shoulder, to which the leader jerked forward with a gasp, spinning around to Cyborg with a bird-a-rang in his hand. "It's me, man," Cyborg's hands shot up in defense.

Robin's shoulders sagged. "Cyborg."

"I found BB and Rae, they're in the medical ward," Cyborg let his arms drop back to his sides. "BB's pretty banged up, Raven's drained. She killed Madame Rouge and Cinderblock, and Immortus is dead."

Robin sighed, nodding his head. He leaned over and put his hand on Starfire's shoulder. "Star," He whispered, giving her a small nudge. Her eyes fluttered open and she spotted the two Titans.

"Oh, friends," She whispered, tears springing to her eyes. She didn't say anything else as she got up and wrapped Robin in a tight embrace. She stood there with him, his arms encircling her as she wept into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for everything, Starfire. I really am," he said, his voice husky and catching in his throat.

"I am just so happy to see you two," She finally spoke and pulled away from him, walking over to embrace Cyborg. "It has been a hard day," Her voice cracked as she pulled away from Cyborg.

"You can say that again," Cyborg tried to lighten the mood with a small smile to Starfire.

Starfire sneezed, her face looked pained as she nodded to him. "Where are friends Beast Boy and Raven?"

Raven was startled awake by the feeling she was falling. "Rae, it's ok," Beast Boy murmured, his hand on her head, patting her hair.

She was acutely aware of how tired she was, how much her body ached. "What time is it?" She questioned him, then remembering the last 24 hours. "How are you feeling?"

"It's 9:26, the morphine is still working so I feel better. Though, I have you to thank for healing my ribs, they're sore, but it's thanks to you I can even stand."

Raven stood up and wrapped her arms around him, watching his side. "I love you," She whispered quietly into his chest. She felt his lips press against the top of her head.

"I love you, too." After a moment had passed of the two sharing a love-filled embraced, Beast Boy broke the silence. "I am so hungry I could actually eat a horse."

A/N: as always, a review whore never changes... leave a comment below:)

I also have fiction writings of short stories, one shots, etc, that are NOT fanfiction if anyone was ever interested in me publishing those, I could do that!

Live your truth,

SWN