WTFudge

By Fluff

(xXxFluffy-Pink-Socks)

Disclaimer: This applies to the whole story because I know I'll forget to post this on every chapter. I don't own Harry Potter. All characters and places belong to J.K Rowling. All I own is the plot and Rosa, Brendan, Bambi, Larry, Mrs. Willow... ok, basically any characters you don't recognise. However, Bridget Daltrey belongs to Sarah's Scribbles, who has kindly let me use her in this story.

A/N: OK. Welcome to the sequel to A Parental Guide! So this may start out not that funny but I promise you it will get more amusing and the plot will get a lot more interesting as well. Oh and even though they aren't at Hogwarts, the Marauders, Lily etc. will still be main characters in the story.

Fluff

-x-

"Take a break..." I groaned and turned over in my sleep. "We probably won't see eachother that often..." My grip tightened on my bed covers, as I pulled them further over my head and burrowed down into my bed. "Yeah. I know." I squeezed my eyes shut. "So, that's it. We're both agreed?" I opened my eyes, knowing there was no point trying to get back to sleep. "Yes. That's it. It's over."

I threw the covers off the top of the bunk bed in frustration and lay still, staring up at my ceiling. I had finished Hogwarts two weeks ago and just as school had finished, so had my relationship with Sirius. And I was fine with it. Of course. Fine. Which is why I couldn't stop thinking about him. Why I couldn't stop kicking myself for agreeing. Things had been going fine and, although I hated to admit it, I might have possibly... slightly... been falling in the-four-lettered-word-that-I-refuse-to-say with him.

I groaned again and covered my face with my hands, trying to think straight. We'd only been dating for four months... was that a long time? How the hell was I supposed to know?

"RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPING BEAUTY! RIIIIIIIIIIIISE TO GREEEEEEEEEEET THE DAYYYYYYYYY!" I screamed hysterically and almost toppled over the edge of the bed. Brendan yelled and swore loudly as his head collided with the bottom of my bed when he sat up too fast. "RIIIIIIIIIIIISE AND SHIIIIIIIIIIIINE! GOOOOOOOD MORNING, GOOOOOOOD DAYYYYY!" The bedroom door was flung open and in waltzed Mum waving a feather duster around and singing at the top of her voice.

"OH! BRENDAN! ROSA! DARLINGS! YOU'RE ALREADY UP!" Mum sang, twirling over to the window and throwing the curtains open. Brendan hissed somewhat like a cat and dove back under his covers.

"MUM CLOSE THE EFFING CURTAINS!" His muffled voice shouted out at her.

"Hmmm? Sorry, dear, I can't hear you!" Mum said back, now humming the tune of Walking On Sunshine under her breath and attempting to a do a little tap dance to match.

"Mum, what are you wearing?" I asked, horrified, as I noticed her outfit for the first time. She was wearing the exact same french maid outfit that Bambi had worn to our end of year party. Except Bambi wasn't a mum and Bambi wasn't middle-aged and Bambi was a slut.

"Oh, this old thing..." Mum said in a falsely careless voice, though the striking of a dramatic pose gave away how much she delighted in dressing like a teenage girl. I continued to stare in horror at the short, short skirt my mother was wearing. Brendan's hand appeared from under his bundle of covers.

"What? OH GOD! MUM! DON'T BEND OVER!" Brendan roared, clapping his hands over his eyes, as Mum flashed him her lacey pink underwear.

"Well, how else am I supposed to clean!" Mum said sniffily. She gave Brendan a huffy look, before stomping out of our bedroom and slamming the door behind her. I leant over the side of the bunk bed and looked down at Brendan. He caught my eye and shook his head.

"What sort-of person comes to dust their children's room at 7am on a Saturday morning? Dressed as a french maid, none the less!" Brendan asked in disbelief.

"Ours does, that's who," I replied, sighing. I jumped down from my bed and made my way groggily over to the wardrobe.

"Rosa, I say this because you're my sister and I love you and because I have to be seen with you- you look like absolute shit," Brendan said. I gave him a look of disgust.

"I am really feeling the love, Bredders," I scowled at my reflection from across the room and realised that Brendan was right. My hair hadn't been brushed in days, there were dark circles under my eyes and I looked like I was about to turn into a zombie at any second.

"Don't call me that! It makes me sound french!" Brendan said angrily.

"How the hell does it make you sound french?"

"Bredders? Bread? Baguette?" I gave him a blank look. He sighed. "Never mind. You need more than one brain cell to understand." He hopped out of bed himself, squinted at his own reflection and walked out of the room.

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't speak loser!" I shouted after him.

"GRYFFINDORK!" He called from the bathroom.

"BASTARD!" I yelled.

"GRYFFINWHORE!" Brendan called back.

I stormed over to the door of the bathroom, "DRAG QUEEN!" Brendan turned around and threw his arm around my neck, cutting off my air way, "OW! GET- OFF- ME!"

"TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!" Brendan shouted, spitting his toothpaste out into the sink. For a gay guy I had to admit he was pretty strong.

"NEVER!!!" I said, only to have the arm around my neck pull harder, "OW!"

"BRENDAN! ROSA! IF YOU TWO DON'T PACK IT IN RIGHT NOW!" Mum's voice shouted up the stairs.

"SHE STARTED IT, MUM!"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"YES YOU DID!"

Our shouting was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. "ROSA! GET THE DOOR!" Mum sounded so angry that I didn't even bother trying to argue. Brendan released his hold on my neck and I rushed down the stairs. I walked past the kitchen, shooting Mum's back a glare as I passed, and unlatched the door.

"Hello?" I opened door, expecting it to be a sales man or the post man complaining that Bagira had knawed his way through another letter bag, when I got the shock of my life. "Bridget?" I gasped. In front of me stood my 17 year old cousin, Bridget, fully equipped with a ton of shopping bags and suitcases. "What are you doing here?"

"Eh. I quit school last year, got a job, got fired, so can I stay with you? OK, thanks!" Bridget babbled, flashing me a quick smile, before she pushed her way past me and into the house, "Oh my god, has your house like shrunk or something?! I'm sure it wasn't this small before!"

"BRIDGET!" Mum squealed and she rushed out of the kitchen and threw her arms around my cousin.

"Yeah, hey Aunt Susie. Mum won't let me back in the house and Dad's cancelled my credit card, can I stay with you?" Bridget asked.

Mum's face lit up with a smile, "Of course you can! Stay as long as you like!"

"OK. Which room is mine?"

"Oh, one second... BRENDAN! Come down here! Guess who's turned up! Come say hi and show her to her room!" Mum called out to my brother. There was silence and then Brendan appeared at the top of the stairs and looked down. If he had looked disgusted before, it was nothing to how his expression was when he noticed Bridget. A fake grin quickly replaced the look of horror but I grinned. Bridget is a bit too... materialistic for Brendan's liking. I know, Brendan's exactly the same, but what can I say? My brother is a filthy hypocrite.

"Bridget. Hi." Bridget returned Brendan's smile with an equally as fake one and you two of them gave each other an awkard hug, "How have you been?"

"Oh my god, it's been AMAZING! Quitting Hogwarts-" I tripped on the door step on my way back in the house, "-was the best thing I ever did! Of course, I did get fired, but everything else was brilliant!" I let my cousin continue with her ramble, as Mum hung onto every word and Brendan searched anxiously for an escape, while thoughts rushed through my head. Bridget had gone to Hogwarts? How had I not known that? She must have quit the year before I started. She would have been in the same year as I was, which meant that she was bound to have known some people in my year.

"Hey, Bridget!" I shouted out, as my Mum lead Bridget into the living room. Bridget stopped and looked back at me over her shoulder.

"Yes?"

"What house were you in at Hogwarts?" I asked casually.

"Gryffindor. You?" She replied, eyeing me carefully.

"Gryffindor too." She grinned at me.

"OH MY GOD! I bet that means you knew my ex-boyfriend!" I shrugged; the truth was I hadn't really gotten to know anyone in my year apart from the Marauders and Lily's friends.

"Errr... I don't know. Possibly."

"Does the name Sirius Black ring any bells?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when my life became a whole of a lot more complicated.

-x-

Please R&R!