"DEADPOOL! How the hell did you get in here? There is no way you got past all the security from the from the front door to my office. There is no way. None."
"Yo, don't pop a vein, Cyclops ol' chum."
Cyclops let's out a deep groan. People like Deadpool didn't sit well with Cyclops. They were anarchists. People with no respect for any kind of authority or rules. Cyclops could barely grasp the concept of anarchy, but he got enough to tell him that he didn't like it.
"Deadpool, I am not in the mood. This is the day I've set asside to do my paperwork. My paperwork is more important to me than listening to your insanity. Hell, I can't think of too many things I'd rather be doing. Now, you will tell me, in no uncertain terms, how and why (assuming you actually have a reason) you broke into my office in the X Mansion!"
"Well, my phsyciatrist says I should make more friends, and well, I can't think of a friendlier bunch o' guys an' gals than the X-buddies (sadly), can you? As for how, I have one word for you. Teleportation Device."
"You're just bored, aren't you?" Cyclops made a point of not noticing Deadpool's obvious mistake.
"Damn. I didn't think you'd figure it out. How could you tell?"
"You're always bored when you're not destroying something."
"Too true."
Cyclops took a few moments to formulate a plan, 'How am I going to get this maniac out of my hair?' Just then, like a bolt of lightning, an idea hit him so herd that his face nearly changed expression! 'Put him into someone else's!' Cyclop's felt bad for what he was about to do, but he had to get Deadpool out of here fast. If he waited too long, the property damage could easily rise into the billions (hey, all those fancy toys are expensive!) By the end of the day, someone would be repairing thier headquarters, but at least it wouldn't be him!
Cyclops finally spoke to Wade, after a few minutes of serious thought (not that I'm saying he's capable of anything else),"You know, Deadpool, you really don't want to be in the X-men, do you?"
Deadpool gives him a 'Duhh...' Look, "I don't?"
"No. You don't. You want to be in the... uh... the Fantastic Four!" Deadpool just stared at him.'Do they really think I'm THAT stupid?' he thought.
"Oh, really?" he places his chin on his knuckles, and his elbow on the desk,"and how might I join them, pray tell?"
Cyclops scribbled on a peice of paper, and then handed it to Deadpool. "Just go to this address and I'll have every thing set up for you."
"Really? Trully? Honestly? Sincerely? Swear to Bea?" he knew he was being played for a fool, but the F4 did have some neat toys, and he'd have a chance to get Cyclops back soon enough with something he'd stolen from Cyclop's person earlier. Damn leader was sharp most of the time, but paper work excited him and made him lose his focus. And they said HE was mental. Better than annal, he supposed...
"Whatever. Now get out of here before I change my mind."
"Yippee-doo-da!" and with that Deadpool ran out of the room, leaving Cyclops to his thoughts. 'I hate to do this, but if I don't start on that paperwork soon, I'll have to deal with the withdrawal...' He dialed up the Baxter building to tell them of an applicant he was sending their way.
"Hello? Oh, I'm glad you're there. I'm sending someone over that didn't quite meet our requirements, and I told him you'd hear him out. He wants to be on a team for some reason. (Some suprised and slightly angry noises came from the phone.) Yes, I know you don't have an opening. All you have to do is give him an 'interview'. I'll just have to owe you a favor. (The person on the other end asked Cyclops a question.) No, I'll let that be a suprise. (A positive sound came from the phone, if slightly reluctant.) Good day," and then he hang up.
He tapped his fingers on his desk for a moment, and then he said to himself, " I just know that this is going to bite me right in the ass eventually..."
When Deadpool got out side, he dangled a set of stolen keys in the air. "I hope ol' One Eye doesn't mind if I borrow his car keys. It's such a long way to New York City... now which one of these little darlin's opens the garage door..." He finds the right key and opens the garage. Finding Scott's car, he drives off laughing loudly for a couple of miles.
Scott Summers felt a disturbance in the force. He looked up from his paperwork (a testement to the magnetude of the disturbance) and stared straight ahead. Something was not right. He looked around the office, he double checked his paperwork, and, satisfied that nothing was amiss there, he decided that only one thing could possibly be wrong. He jumped up from his chair and ran to the X-garage (Team policy: everything must begin with X- or it wasn't cool) and prayed that he was mistaken for the first time in his life.
When he found the X-garage door already opened, he checked his pockets and discovered that his keys were missing. He didn't bother to check his car. He knew it wasn't there. He started to tear up as he looked up to the sky and exclaimed:
"CURSE YOU, DEADPOOL! CURSE YOU!"
Deadpool was going to rot in hell by the end of the day for this, if Cyclops had any say in the matter! He pulled out his cellphone right then and there, and called the Baxter building again.
"Hello? This is Scott. Sorry for bothering you again, but something has come up..."
Deadpool had made it to to the New York City limits in record time. Of course, as he always told people, things move much more smoothly when you ignore speed-limits, the current state of your vehicle, or pedestrians. Of course, he did care about the pedestrians. He had a little game going on, to pass the time. Every time he hit someone, he'd start driving with his feet and put a tally mark with one of his katana on the seat next to him. He thought Cyclops would get a kick out of that. 'Hmm. Only eleven. I must be getting old or something...'
When Deadpool arrived, he was of course dreadfully late. He was having so much fun playing 'Whack the Peds' that he didn't remember his appointment with the Fantastic Four untill sometime in the late afternoon, when Cyclop's sports car had taken all it could take. Luckily it bit the dust close to the Baxter Building. Shame it was stuck in the middle of the road. No big deal. But still, he wished he had the time to completely watch the massive pile-up that was starting to form. It had been awhile since he watched such a pile of junk grow so quickly.
Yep. Deadpool was in a pretty good mood. Of course, once the Powers that Be realized this, they corrected the problem before it was too late. Naturally, they would wait untill the time was right, and after Deadpool could do nothing to save himself.
"Um, sir? You will have to leave your w-weapons here, um, sir..." Of course. Guards. He should have known his choice of armament (or any choice of armament) would not be allowed in here. Deadpool calculated his odds, weighed his options, and came to a very hard conclusion.
He suddenly froze in place and snapped his head around without moving another part of his body, and gave the man the most awsome death-stare that the poor man had ever seen. It made him look very inhumane. The gaurdsman, every bit the professional, was promptly pissing himself silly. Obviously trying to gather the composure to call in for back up, Deadpool decided not to give him a chance. He said one word without seeming to twitch a muscle,"No."
The poor man sagely decided to let it go, just this once. He then continued to wet himself.
As Deadpool walked to the elevater, he couldn't shake the feeling that he would have been better off shooting the guard and making a break for it. Naw, just his brain talking. He'd learned to tune it out a long time ago.
Deadpool was met with a room filled with lab equipment. Yep this is Mr. Franken-tastic's pad alright. He decided to try and grab someones attention. "Marco?" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
"DEADPOOL!" responded an enraged Cyclops, who was siting at a desk that most likely belonged to Mr. Fantastic.
"Cyclops? Why are you here? And it's Polo, not Deadpool, though I agree, they really should change it-"
"You know what Deadpool? I'm sick of your shit. I'm sick of you, and I am especially sick at what you did to my car!"
"Oh, so you know about that, huh?" he leaned on a nearby workbench as he said this.
"KNOW ABOUT IT! Everyone in Manhatten knows about it by now. I heard the explosion from thirty-four motherfucking stories up! Not only did you take one of my few reasons for living away from me, as if that weren't enough to warrant my rage, you have also destroyed the lives of HUNDREDS! Do you hear me, Wilson? HUNDREDS!"
Deadpool let out a heavy yawn,"I heard you, I heard you. Now, what's yer point? What was once a simple means of transportation is now an Object de Art!"
"SIMPLE MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION! ART! I made it from scratch! Now it's just a charred piece of metal blocking traffic!" if Cyclop's heart raced any faster, he would at risk of going into cardiac arrest!
"Art is a matter of perspective, a two-hundred car pile up is simply art in my perspective, Old Bean, You just gotta chill, bruddah. Free you mind-"
As he was not in the mood to play Deadpool's little game, Scott knocked the chair he was sitting on down as he got up quickly, and in a movement Deadpool could barely follow, had his hands up to his visor. He gave out a battle cry that would have chilled the bones of any mere mortal,"Your trail of pain and suffering ends here, fiend!"
But this is Deadpool we're talking about. He just laughed.
"'Your trail of pain and suffering ends here'?" he started to chuckle again,"'FIEND?'" he nearly lost control, and then he looked on Cyclop's face, and realized he was serious. He laughed even harder than before. He managed to stay up by leaning on a workbench. True to his word, Cyclops was 'slaying' him. He managed to stop eventually. He snatched a wrench-like tool (hell, it may have been a wrench for all Deadpool knew) from the work bench he was leaning on for support, and said,"Well, if your gonna make this personal, Slim..."
Cyclops fired without warning, and Deadpool barely managed to dodge. Cyclops only had one power, but he knew how to use it. Deadpool was at a disadvatage being so far away and unable to use lethal force. He did not need the kind of heat he would probably get from killing an X-men, and this was the fearless leader! He threw the wrench thing, and while it hit its mark, it did not do so fast enough to prevent Scott from firing another blast. This one went wild and hit a large tube with some strange glowing liquid in it, wich was of course dangling above Deadpool's head. It covered him completely, and caused his telleportation device to shoot sparks.
"Oh, shi--"
In a flash, he was gone.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a flimsy idea.