First off- Hullo, moonshine369 as you might know. This is my first fic, so I understand if you don't recognize me. Besides that, I just hope you enjoy the story!
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Disclaimer: Yes. It really is sad. But I don't own ANY of these characters, except for the OC's I might stir in. I owe them all to J.K. Rowling, who I owe all of my ideas. Woo-hoo. J.K. Rowling. Yeah.
Explanation:
Pretty much, to sum it up, James Potter's view on what to do when in the presence of our lovely Lily Evans. Basically, it's James listing things, but me, the amazing author, showing examples. Again, enjoy!
James Potter's incredible guide to winning Lily Evans's heart.
Fear it.
Read it.
Study it.
Live it.
What NOT to do.
1. Use the element of surprise.
"So, yeah, that potions essay was—"Lily started as she was walking into the common room with her friends. She stopped abruptly when she heard a rustling sound coming from right in front of her.
"Hi, Lilyflower!" James jumped from behind a couch nearby, causing Lily to jump a bit, lose her balance, and fall over.
"Ooh. You're in bad condition. Maybe this isn't the best time to express my undying passion for you."
"You'd better run, Potter."
2. Use the "oops!" factor.
James was finishing up a Runes essay early one morning when Lily walked down the stairs, yawning sleepily. James, taking advantage of this, walked over to her and literally collided against her.
Early as it was, Lily wasn't expecting this. So, once again, she landed on her back.
"Oh, hi, Evans, silly my, running into you like that."
"Yes you've seemed to manage knocking me over twice in a 24 hour time period," she said, accepting his hand to help her up.
"Yes, some phenomenons, nature just cannot explain. Anyway, you seem to have such a knack for me, you might just do a fella a favor and let him escort you to Hogsmede on Friday."
"I'll pass, thanks."
3. Make her pity you.
"Evans, I just got a letter telling me that me mum an' dad died." James told Lily once cold November morning. He had to say, personally, he found that he had mastered the "I'm on the verge of tears but am just too insanely manly to blubber" look convincingly.
"Oh, shove off, Potter." Lily snapped, glaring at him as she always did.
"How could you talk to me like that in my time of need?"
"You told me this morning your parents would be at our wedding when we got married, and that when they came it'd be a nice break from doing 'all that boring stuff like'-" She mock gasped. "'-work' that you got a letter about this morning."
"Oh… yeaaahh."
Red in the face, James walked off.
4.Hypnotize her, especially if you haven't yet mastered the art of hypnotism.
"Help me with something, Tiger Lily?"
"Only if you stop calling me that."
James pulled a simple pocket watch out of his robes pocket.
"It's extra credit in my muggle studies—hypnotism."
"Is it now?" Lily asked, clearly unbelieving.
James nodded, grinning. He kneeled next to the armchair she was sitting in to level up with her ace, and began swinging the watch on its chain.
"Alrighty then." Lily rolled her eyes.
"Sh," James snapped. "Follow the chain."
Lily cut her eyes at him and then started tracing the path of the watch with her eyes.
"You are getting very sleeepppyyyy." James stifled a laugh.
But to his surprise, Lily's eyes were slowly closing, while she was still following the watch with her eyes.
"When I count to three, you will fall asleep. One, two, three."
Letting out a slow sigh, Lily closed her eyes and began breathing heavily.
"When you wake up, you will find a new love for a certain James Potter." He snapped, and Lily blinked twice.
"You know, James, I never noticed how amazing you were," she nearly whispered. He could barely hear her.
James grinned and began swinging the pendulum. By now, there was a small crowed gathered around the two.
"When I count to three, you will again be asleep. When I snap, you will awake and have an irresistible urge to snog me. One, two, three." Some of Lily's friend moaned. James's fellow marauders laughed.
"One, two, three," James said slowly with a grin four times bigger than his usual one. And shooting a look into his tiny audience, he snapped.
Lily opened her eyes and rubbed them, yawning. She looked at James like she'd never seen him before in her life.
"You know what, James? I suddenly feel like…" James grinned, feeling like he knew the completion.
"Slapping you," she said unexpectedly, glowering at him. And she did slap him. Hard.
The supporters surrounding them were now only laughing as Lily stood up.
"Sorry about your extra credit." She grinned. "You just won't get a job in anything that involves hypnotism, while on the up hand, my acting career looks great." She walked to the girl's dormitory, immensely pleased with herself.
5. Vandalize.
"LE and JR 4 ever," James whispered, as he sprayed those very words on a corridor wall with a can of muggle spray paint that he had recently acquired.
"So, professor, really, I was thinking you could-" Lily stopped when she spotted James down the corridor. "Err, excuse me," she told Professor Slughorn and dashed away.
"Isn't it beautiful?" James said when she skidded to a stop beside him, looking awestruck. He, on the other hand, had an expression of maniacal glee.
"Detention, Potter."
"You can't give out detentions! You may be a prefect but you're no professor," James laughed. "Even if you could, wouldn't you rather just snog me since I went though all this trouble for you?"
"Detention, Potter." That voice didn't sound like Lily's to him. "I want this wall scrubbed without magic by tomorrow morning. If you use magic, I'll know," Slughorn's voice came.
James turned around. "Tommorow it is." He saluted Slughorn, smiling mock respectfully. Slughorn walked off without responding. Lily gave James an innocent smile before hurrying after Slughorn. James just rolled his eyes, and muttered a simple charm that erased the paint. "Adios, slugbrain," he murmured.
Woohoo, another author's note! Just to say, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm going to try to get another couple "What not to do's" up soon-ish. Just a pointer, this might not ONLY be "What not to do's." Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Please R&R.
-moonshine369