Disclaimer: I don't own them. I don't gain anything from them.

Warnings: robotic slash, crack pairings, mild to average Oocness (I think)

A/N: Yet another strange romance. Please feel free to tell me of any mistakes and I'll correct them.

"talking"

Insanity

This couldn't be happening to him! It seemed like a really bad joke to him but, no matter what he did, these thoughts wouldn't leave him. It wasn't real! This couldn't be natural! Ratchet could probably fix him up, but he would rather kiss a Seeker than go to the medic with such an embarrassing problem.

Because he, Sunstreaker, the most beautiful thing to have ever existed in the entire Universe, was now completely and utterly obsessed with one of the ugliest mechs to have ever graced his optics. For the past one hundred and twenty days not a day went by without him thinking about that ugly little glitch. It was driving him crazy. He couldn't have anyone knowing about this. Imagine the humiliation! He could just see those slagging minibots cackling about the irony of it all. This was absolutely degrading…

But, he could still remember how that ugly waste of energon jumped in front of him, blaster rifle in hand, shooting like a maniac at Starscream while he got back on his feet after being thrown by said Seeker. It was then that Sunstreaker realized that while the other mech wasn't created as a warrior, he always joined the fray as soon as he was allowed to. He usually forgot that his current obsession was dangerous. He wasn't the only one that made said mistake. Jazz and his little fleet of spies were usually extremely underestimated. Those that suddenly realized their value rarely were given the chance to forget it. Sunstreaker was now one of those few… lucky or unlucky ones.

The golden Lamborghini had tried to pin his new interest to gratitude. The little slagger had probably saved him a prolonged stay in medbay. He surely saved his paintjob from getting even more ruined. Unfortunately, his interest had gotten out of control and his thoughts had left friendly gratitude rating a long time ago.

He wanted to rip something up! He didn't even care about the brig anymore. He needed to vent and killing things had become his favorite therapy. He'd rather draw, but he didn't trust himself right now. He knew who he was going to draw and how in the Pit was he going to explain that? How could he face his brother? He could already see what his brother would say right before blowing a circuit by laughing. Unfortunately, that meant he had to settle for a drink in the rec. room. As he watched the Dinobots trying to convince Hound to let them tag along on one of his excursions, his current problem walked in followed by Jazz, the minibot rabble and the human mascot. If he were human, he would've rolled his optics in annoyance. As it was, he let out a frustrated sigh. He'd better leave before his temper flared up. Sideswipe would be coming soon from patrol and his brother absolutely hated when he returned to find him in the brig. He'd rather avoid conflict for now than hear the red pain in the aft bitch the rest of the fragging day and night.

He took the time to study the other mech. He looked better than usual, which wasn't saying much since he usually looked like scrap. Sunstreaker wondered if it was the constant human contact that affected the mech's looks. The humans did seem to care very little about them, except for a very small number of them. The warrior wondered briefly how the other would look if he ever took one of his deep treatments. They usually made a mech look stunning, even when their alt-forms looked uglier than Megatron's helmet.

"Ya realize he knows you're watchin' him, right?"vJazz's voice beside him made him start. Frag! He'd been too busy staring he never noticed the saboteur getting so close. A slip like this during battle could cost him his life, his brother's or worse… his paintjob. He frowned at the Porsche, who merely grinned wider in amusement.

"I'm not watching anybody," he growled and Jazz's grin grew even wider. Sunstreaker briefly wondered how the Porsche could do that without breaking something, "He's too ugly anyways. I'd probably turn blind if I look at him."

Jazz's visor flashed in annoyance, but the smile on his face told Sunstreaker the other mech wasn't really angry.

"Charming as always, Sunny. Funny how I didn't say who you were watchin'. Can ya read minds now?" the Porsche drawled, before talking contemplatively, "Ya know, he's not as sweet and naïve as ya'all think he is. It's really sad and ironic. He's stuck as the innocent little one and you're stuck as the psychotic violent one."

Sunstreaker glared at the Special Ops Officer who merely shrugged, silly smile still on his face. There was silence for a few minutes until Jazz spoke again. His tone of voice strangely serious, "That's gonna get the both of ya killed."

"What the frag are you talking about?" the golden one asked actually paying attention and not liking the thought of his obsession dying. He wasn't worried about himself, since he wasn't planning on leaving his brother alone any time soon.

"It's hard bein' somethin' you're not. At least ya have your bro with ya. He knows the real you, so to speak. He, on the other hand, has spent more time than even I consider healthy hidin' who he really is. One of these days he's gonna flip and then die," Jazz answered softly, before shrugging again and continuing, "He's got no one, Sunny. He doesn't let anyone get close enough."

"Why are you telling me about it? Sunstreaker asked gruffly while ice blue optics glared at the black and white mech, "I don't even like the ugly slagger."

Jazz smiled at him. One of those cryptic smiles that made Sunstreaker remember that one of Jazz's specialties was knowing information he wasn't supposed to know and exploiting it for all it was worth.

"Ya already know that he knows you're watchin' him. But what you don't know, and I know, is that he's been watchin' ya far longer than ya can imagine."

Sunstreaker's head turned sharply to look at the mech he'd been obsessing over. He was talking animatedly with the human pet. The golden Bot could feel his fuel pump behaving erratically. His optics brightened in annoyance. As if being obsessed wasn't enough, now he was malfunctioning!

As if sensing someone watching him, the mech turned to look at him. Sunsteaker could feel himself smiling softly. He'd better hurry and find Ratchet before he started skipping around the Ark hugging everybody on sight while preaching world peace. The golden warrior got up, ready to head to medbay for a thorough check up. After that, he'll go straight to his quarters, polish and recharge. He sent a lazy wave in goodbye to the Porsche as he walked away, but when he reached the doors a voice stopped him.

"Hey! Heading out early?"

Sunstreaker frowned slightly, insults cancelled as quickly as he thought them up. Why couldn't things be as they were before? He just shrugged and said, "Gotta see Ratchet. I think I'm malfunctioning."

The other mech looked slightly confused and Sunstreaker knew he wasn't expecting the civilized answer.

"I'll go with you. Can't have you falling into stasis in the middle of a hallway," the yellow Bot told him calmly, a small smile on his face.

Sunstreaker stood, his optics staring into his obsession's optics. This was wrong. This was unnatural. Sideswipe would never let him live this down. The others would surely use this to pester him even more. This was the most ironic, demented and impossible situation he'd ever been in.

He should say no. He should tell him how ugly and useless he really was. And even if it wasn't the truth, he should insult the small mech just because he could. Instead, he found himself spealing.

"If you wanna. Side's not here yet and I'd rather not face our CMO's wrath alone. You can always distract him or something. Everyone knows you're his favorite Bot, Bumblebee."

Jazz watched as they walked away. A quick survey of the room told him that, except the Bots under his wing, no one else noticed the strange exchange. He couldn't help but smile in amusement. This should be fun. It already had the potential of becoming highly amusing. Just the thought of how the others would react made him almost squeal in glee. He still wished them luck. Experience told him that love was never easy, but it was always worth the trouble.

Edited 6/30/09 - Fixed dialogues