Okay, so I wrote this story a long time ago, but just now started typing it up. I'm almost done with it, all that's left is about one chapter. Hopefully I will be able to update it often, maybe every day if you're lucky :-D

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, but sadly, I don't. What's even more sad is that I don't own Mustang. -sob-

Chapter one: The beginning of the End

"So Roy will ya? You will? Great! I'll see ya at 7:00 then, bye!"

Roy groaned. Hughes had just shoved multiple pictures of Elysia in his face before running out the door, leaving before he could even reach for his gloves (or as Hughes called them, 'My signal to leave!'").

Once again he would have to cancel his date that night because he had, according to Hughes, "volunteered" to watch Elysia that night. Not that he didn't like her or anything, no, that wasn't it at all. He just wished that his best friend would actually ask him to do something rather than just assuming that he could. But on the bright side, now he had an excuse to leave early that Hawkeye would find acceptable… although he still didn't understand why dates weren't considered acceptable by her… but then again, it's Hawkeye, so who knows? At least he didn't have to do paperwork for as long tonight.

Time- 18:55:01 and counting

Place- in front of the Hughes residence

Condemned subject- Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist

At five minutes 'til seven, Roy stood outside of his best friend's home. He had barely had just enough time to go home, change out of his uniform, and make it here on time.

He did a quick self-check to make sure that he had performed the necessary tasks required to survive his current ordeal. 'Comfortable clothes check. Watch safely put in coat pocket, check. Gloves away from a three year-old girl's little fingers and in pockets, check. Lotion on hands, che- wait a minute, why do I care about whether or not my hands are soft and smooth? Well, everything seems to be up to par… up to par?! Ugh, I don't even play golf!'

Questioning his mental sanity, Roy climbed the steps leading to the front door. He raised his hand to knock, only to have the door open and see Gracia standing before him.

"Oh, hi Roy. Thanks so much for coming. I hope it wasn't any trouble for you."

'Any trouble?' Roy thought, 'I guess that depends on whether you consider dodging bullets while attempting to explain to your so-called subordinate that you had a perfectly good reason to be leaving early for a change, then hide in the janitor's closet to avoid having to deal with Fullmetal and his cursing about stupid reports and bastard colonels. And on top of all that, needing to break the window of your car since you accidentally locked your keys in there that morning, resulting in having to rush home and change without a shower to make it here on time. All just to baby sit your best friend's daughter. No, it was absolutely no trouble whatsoever.'

Forcing a smile onto his face, he replied. "No, it was no trouble at all. I'm just glad to be able to help out." It just wouldn't have done if he decided to throw his manners out the door; after all, it was his friend's wife that he was talking to.

"Good, I'm glad," Gracia responded, reflecting his smile.

The next thing he knew, he was flattened to the wall as Hughes rushed by, making his first appearance. This sudden appearance was followed with Hughes pulling his wife out the door and a "Bye Roy, if you need anything, hesitate to call! Oh, and if you want any pictures, they're by the phone in case of an emergency!"

Slam. So much for the talk he was planning on having about volunteering other people. Maybe he should return the gesture that was the cause of his current situation by using those pictures by the phone to make an "emergency fire"… or maybe he should just do it anyways.

"Uncle Roy!" Oh, right. Elysia. He had forgotten about her for a moment. Maybe he shouldn't burn pictures of her while she was around. No. That probably wouldn't be a very good idea.

Kneeling down, he spread open his arms to the oncoming three year-old. "Hey there Ely-"

Oof!

"-sia." Flat on his back, Roy looked up into the excited and amused eyes of none other than the infamous Elysia Hughes herself, known from her father's obsession of constantly shoving pictures into other people's faces, in pigtails and a yellow sundress with big, red flowers. Man, she must have gotten a lot bigger since the last time he saw her if she was able to knock him over like that. Although he had been a bit unbalanced to begin with. (A/N: Yeah right Roy, you just keep telling yourself that.)

Giggling like mad, she was somehow able to force out a few words in between bursts of laughing. "Uncle Roy, you fell down!"

"No I didn't Elysia, you knocked me over!"

"I know," she said, giggling still not slowing, "but you still fell!" Well, she had a point.

Sighing, Roy attempted to sit up, which is rather difficult with a giggling-like-mad three year-old sitting on top of you. "Elysia, do you think you could please let your Uncle Roy up?"

After her giggles slowed and a bit of thinking, she looked at him, wearing a smirk that seemed oddly familiar…

"Okay, but…" Oh no. Not the 'but'! Could even three year-olds use the 'but' these days? A whole lot sure had changed since he was a kid. "But what?"

"But first you have to promise to play princesses with me." Note the word princesses.

Unfortunately for him, Roy failed to notice her use of the plural form of princess.

"Okay, I promise." After all, he thought, what's the worst that could happen from playing princess with a three year-old girl?

This reasoning would soon result in an addition to the list of Reasons Why Roy Mustang Can Be Such an Idiot Sometimes.

What's gonna happen to Roy? Will his sanity remain intact, or will it only get worse?

Flames, constructive critsism, and anonymus reviews are all accepted. Flames are accepted simply because they are an honest opinion, and we authors deserve to know if people hate our story or not. Feel free to point out any mistakes as well.