1A/N: Alright, guys, new plan.

I'm not going all the way to "La Vie Boheme B" on this. This will actually be the last chapter, and then me and Sara are going to recollaborate to do La Vie Boheme — La Vie Boheme B. So, this is the last chapter, and it's still just me doing it.

By the by—read our stories "Today 4 U: Roger's View" and "Another Day: Roger's Way" :)

Oh, and another thing—someone who's incredibly smart mentioned that this happens on the day after Christmas in the movie... yes, good point. And to that I say—oh well and whoops. This will be changed back to "The Protest: Roger Edition" :) Teehee.

Sorry such a long wait!

3. Over The Moon

Ugh. I really hate that place.

The stupid... place, I really don't know what to call it. It's where all the druggies and all the dealers hang out, the homeless people, et cetera. It's right next to the Space... and something was telling me it, I just knew Mimi would be there.

I initiated my ninja ray as I walked up to her, but then I took it down and she snapped over to look at me. "Hey," she said coolly.

"Hey," I replied, uneasy from being here. Sweat beaded on my forehead. "Can I talk to you for a sec—"

The Man. Ooh, just his name makes me want to murder an equestrian. The Man shoved me—a ninja like me! What was he thinking, I know—and responded with, "Hey, lover boy, you steal my client, you die." Steal his client? Hey, no matter how much I shunned her away, she was still officially mine, and I couldn't steal anything that was mine! (Unless I got really creative with multiple personalities.)

I resisted the urge to mock him and stepped forward, shoving him right back. "You didn't miss me, you won't miss her! Look around, you've got plenty of customers!" I don't know why I put emphasis on that word, but Mimi pushed the two of us apart and grabbed my arm, leading me away from her Dealer of Doom, the Man. Somebody find me an equestrian, I need to go murder him. Slash her. (Sorry girls.)

"Look." I started it plain and simple, right to the point. "About last night. I'm sorry. I don't—I don't know what the—" Apparently she didn't like to see me squirm, because she cut me off. Thank God, too, this whole apologizing thing has never been a strong subject of mine, really.

"Just forget about it," she said, taking another glance at the Man (FIND ME A HORSE RIDER, DAMMIT!).

"I was out of line," I told her, evading the word "sorry." "Can I make it up to you?" Yeah, asking people out has never exactly been my genre either.

"How?"

Now was when she liked to see me squirm. "A bunch of us are getting together tonight, at the Life Café, after Maureen's show." I hoped she'd get my point so I didn't have to—

"...yeah...?"

Ooh, you suck. I chuckled a bit, trying to sound macho. "Would you like to come with me?"

I could tell she was withholding her sheer excitement—hello, it's me we're talking about here—and she said. "Sure." And she grinned. "I'd like that."

We stood there for a moment and I nodded like a little school boy and nudged my head sideways, instructing her to walk with me. "So, you're a tough guy?" she asked me, making fun of my inability to talk to girls... they've always been my weakness. Half of the girls that I used to ask out would be like, "YOUR SPECIES SUCKS!" and run away in tears.

"No," I answered, laughing, partly making fun of myself as well. "Not really."

She put her fists up like she was about to fight someone. "That was pretty good," she teased. And then she laughed at me.

We got outside of that little hellish place and she giggled some more—before I spotted them. I found an excuse to put my hand on her shoulder. "Over there," I directed, "the guy with the glasses." I pointed to my eyes with two fingers, giving her a visual of what glasses were. Like she didn't know or something.

"ANGEL!" she screamed, rupturing my eardrums. She ran towards Angel and the drag queen cried Mimi's name.

"You look so good!" Angel cried.

"What are you doing here?" Mimi asked, embracing her friend.

Angel completely ignored her. "I didn't know you'd be here with Roger!"

I took that in the worst way possible.

Then the sound of a roaring motorcycle was heard, and my eyes immediately locked in on them, the ninja that I was. "That's Maureen!" I cried giddily, too giddily, and Mimi looked at me like I was crazy. Then things got crazy—people screaming and clothing flying everywhere... I felt like it was an orgy or something, and I wanted fucking out.

The motorcycle stopped and then Mo was suddenly on the stage, like she fucking flew there or something, and then she put her hands up to stop the cheering that I was unaware was happening. I was beginning to get uneasy. If Benny was on the case... and the cops... and Maureen...

Oh, shit.

What have I gotten myself into?

I kept trying to edge away from where I was, but Collins kept his hands against my back firmly, not allowing me to leave. Poyfect. Now I'm fucking stuck here, my ninja self, in a nonsafe environment! This was not good, and I was going to get claustrophobic, and I was going to—

Oooh! Pretty lights! "Last night, I had this dream," said the Mo-dawg. "I was in a desert called..." Yes, YES? What was it CALLED?! "...Cyberland." Oooh. Intense. "It was hot; my canteen had sprung a leak and I was—" Yes, YES? What were you?! "Thirsty." Oooh. Intense. "Out of the abyss walked a cow," Yes, YES? What was this cow? "Elsie." Oooh. Inte—wait, am I repeating myself or something?

"I asked if she had anything to drink," Maureen continued, "she said, 'I'm forbidden to produce—milk! In Cyberland, we only drink—Diet Coke.'"

I laughed. Why? Because it was so true. To this day Mark refuses to drink anything but it. Well, aaaaand alcoholic beverages. Like that time we got drunk and the Hot Plate—

I shivered.

Don't think about it.

Then, it hit me—THE ROOM WAS ECHOING! God, this was SCARY! I needed to get out of here! "She said, 'Only thing to do is jump over the moon.'" Her voice was sweet and smooth, sort of like Mark's legs after he shaves them. "'They've closed everything real down like barns, and troughs, and... perfooooooormance spaces! And replaced it all with lies, and rules, and... virtual life.'"

It echoed again, and I started to freak out a bit. "Roger, calm down," Collins whispered into my ear, and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"'But there is a way out—'"

Something struck me then. COLLINS WAS HOLDING MY HAND! GAH! I am a straight man, dammit, and I'm pretty sure Angel would've gotten pretty offended!

But then I looked over... and Mimi and Angel were standing PRETTTTTTY DARN CLOSE! Oh, my GOSH, Collins and Angel—they were—they were... they were SPIES! Sent to break me and Mimi up! Oh, my snickerdoodle, why hadn't I figured this out BEFORE?! Quickly, I got closer to Mimi and pulled her away from Angel, snuggling into her.

Holy shit, what was Mo doing? "IIIIIIIIIII've gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta FIND A WAAAAAY to jump ooooover the moon!"

That's... nice.

There were a few more minutes of her speaking and me staring at the dazzling lights and her cowbell, which managed to disappear just like the lady on the train and Mark's crazy cup when we first met Angel, and I was starting to think that I was in some sort of new dimension. The fifth one? Nah, I wasn't in the Twilight Zone—I wasn't that fucked up... maybe I was in the thousandth dimension!

WOAH! Mo was sucking some serious cock... "'Climb on board,' she said."

Woah—who said? Joanne? I hate coming in on conversations at the wrong time—like this one time, Mark was talking, and all of a sudden I come in, and he's saying, "Yeah, I lost my virginity to a food processor—" and just like that I'd turned around and left the room, trying to get such senile thoughts from my mind.

"Moo with me," Mo said, grinning like an idiot.

One guy did in the back.

Mark, way over where he was, jerked his head back, his facial expression reading, Did someone just moo?

Oh yes, Mark. Someone did, in fact, just moo.

And that guy... WAS ME!

TRUE! I ran like a good little ninja all the way back there and then teleported back next to Mimi, and she NEVER NOTICED. It was fan-FREAKING-tastic. Yes, yes, I know you are so jealous of my—

OH MY GOSH. The cops—they were—they were moving... and... and—OH MY GOD HE JUST WHACKED THAT GUY WITH THE NIGHTSTICK! Oh, man, oh—this was war.

All of a sudden, me and Mimi were moving back—thanks to my cattastic reflexes—and I was calling out, "Collins!" trying to lead him in the wrong direction. I had just enough time to watch Angel whoop some ass—you go, girl—and then he was following me. I tried to lose him—tried to—but it was no use.

Once we were out of the Space, we practically ran to the Life Café, hoping that Maureen and Joanne and Mark and... well... the rest of our friends that we abandoned were going to follow suit.

See? I almost get KILLED in a fucking RIOT—this is why we never leave the house, my friends. It's as simple as that.

A/N: God! Sorry, long update time. Well, since this kind of sucked without Sara's humor, we're gonna write LVB: Roger's End ASAP, along with "Rent: Roger's Rant"... XD and our new story "The Spiffy Mind of Roger Davis."

Hooray!

Review?

–Steph.