A/N: Alright. First HP fan fiction ever, starting off with my most favoritest pair: Tonks & Remmy. Now. If you are here to bash my pairing, bash away. I don' care, but tell me. I feel lousy when some one just tells me my story sucks for no reason. So, please, provide reason. Next, a lot of this may be some what inaccurate. I haven't read the sixth book in who knows how long, seeing as I am more of a marauder person myself. Lastly, dedicated to Jawsies, because she put up with my complete Tonks/Remmy obsession last night when I was hyper on coca-cola. xD

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of these lovely characters, sadly.

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Remus Lupin was a strong believer in love. He'd done his readings, like Romeo and Juliet, and The Great Gatsby (though both endings hadn't been happy). He thought he had understood love. Remus knew what caused some one to love another; he had read about it in books, and heard his friends (namely Sirius and James) talk about love. But Remus himself had never experienced love. So that day when he first met Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius' second cousin, whose mother had also been disowned, he was unsure of the feeling that arose in his stomach.

It wasn't like a crashing wave that washed over him as he took in, with wide, shocked eyes, Tonks' flamboyant bubble gum pink hair, her childish qualities and her rather upbeat, new age sense of style. No, it had been more of the feeling of: this is definitely some one different, some one I would like to get to know better. That was about it.

Funny how things worked out. One moment you were meeting this intriguing girl, for that was really all she was, a girl compared to his age, and the next you could have sworn you were head over heels in love. Well, not exactly in that order. Of course there had been the in between time, the time when he had been out with the werewolves, and other times like that. But the funny thing was, she had always been on his mind. Remus knew it was wrong; he was too old, too poor, and much, much, much too dangerous for her. He hardly trusted himself around his friends when nearing the full moon, and any thought of ever getting into a relationship Remus had always banished. It just wasn't something possible. You were supposed to be there to take care of your wife. If he were to ever get married, that would really not be possible. For that week when the full moon happened, he tended to be ill, and weak, and, well, much like a small child. Even with the wolfsbane, it was still rather hard on him, and that was not something he wanted to put Tonks through.

The only real reason Moony kept thinking on this was when they were in the Hospital. It seemed as if Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were egging him on, trying to, well really, trick him into a relationship. Well if that was their goal, they were doing one hell of a job. He was truly considering it, and only because every time she entered the room, every time they were forced to sit together, side by side, yet awkwardly leaning away, it was unbearable. And yet, he pulled through, but there was a price to pay. The only reason he pulled through was because Remus was a cynical person, and all he could think about was how he would some how manage to hurt her.

"Remus?" The voice sounded distant from his train of thoughts. Who dared interrupt him while he was thinking? Blinking owlishly, the werewolf looked up to find himself staring into the face of none other than Arthur Weasley. Arching his brows tentatively and running scarred hands through his graying hair, Remus looked up to meet the man's gaze, before sweeping those same sad eyes around the table. There was only one pair of eyes he couldn't meet…

"So sorry, Arthur, I must have drifted off…" Remus murmured dryly as the conversation kicked back up. More about Voldemort, obviously. He seemed to be making things more and more tricky for the Order, something that was obviously on purpose. But Lupin couldn't concentrate. He had that strange feeling some one was watching him. Looking up, he found the curious eyes of none other than Nymphadora taking in his tired appearance. When she took note of his gaze, her eyes turned down to a piece of parchment before her, blushing bashfully. This brought a slight, watered down smirk to his thin lips. It had been a while since Remus had smiled. The last time must have been Bill and Fleur's wedding, which had been an… interesting event, to say the least. The couple themselves had been happy, but he had spent most of the evening much like this, to his own dismay. He'd fought with Tonks earlier that same day, and the young auror had been pretty upset through out the whole wedding. Half of Fleur's family had thought that he'd broken up with her or something, earning himself a good number of glares that day. If only they had known he was protecting her… Would their glances have changed? Could they understand the torments of a demonic creature such as himself?

Sad brown eyes glanced up again, only to find himself meeting the steady gaze of Tonks. She seemed to be begging with those eyes, as if reading deep into his soul. Did she know? Of course she knew he had feelings for her as well, but did she know how seriously he was considering this, and yet how hard he was resisting? She must have known, because as he sat there, staring at her, there was a small flash of hope that seemed to sparkle in those chocolate eyes. A flash of hope he loved, and never, ever wished to put out.

-x-

Tonks was silent the whole meeting, something that startled most of the Order. Truth be told, she had been rather silent this past month, and it all seemed to be due to one thing: Remus Lupin. It was obvious the girl was crazy for the older man, and his reasoning for not wanting to be with her only seemed to compel her more. She didn't care if he was dangerous or poor! As for age, well, Love shouldn't have a set age limit. What was so hard to understand about it? She didn't care!

The meeting was finally over, to her pleasure, and the girl was not even slow in standing and rushing from the room in what she hoped was a dignified walk. It would have been a lot more dignified if she hadn't tripped over a corner of the carpet on the way out, but still. She managed to make it into the small parlor of number 12 in a few seconds, record time for the klutz. The sound of talking and laughter floated in after her, but she ignored it, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring fixedly at the coffee table before the moth eaten sofa.

"Hey there," a masculine voice startled her train of thought, but she recognized it immediately. Bill Weasley. Poor kid; his face still looked horrible. At least he still had Fleur. She seemed to truly love him, something that made Tonks want to scream at Remus about. Bill was just as disfigured and maybe even as dangerous as he was, and he was completely happy with Fleur! What was so hard to understand for Remus? Was he that blind, or was it just that he didn't want to acknowledge it? She knew he felt the same way. It was evident, to her at least, in the glances they rarely shared.

Looking up helplessly at Bill, Tonks smiled weakly. "Hey," She murmured, brushing her thin, pale fingers through limp, mousy brown locks of hair that was short and shaggy. Truth be told, the girl was a complete wreck, and it was evident that Bill saw this. The older Weasley brother was a great guy, some one Tonks trusted. He was like her confidant, and for that she was completely grateful. His eyes took in her rather droopy appearance, and with out a word, Bill was seated beside her.

"You alright?" It was funny, how Bill seemed to be able to read her thoughts. She smiled weakly and fell back onto the sofa, letting it brace her up. Her eyes absently drifted over the ceiling, where white paint was fading and peeling innocently. Her family had lived here. That same family that had abandoned her, all because of her father. Would she have been happier if that never would have happened? Tonks shook this thought from her head, and assembled her answer before speaking.

"You know, the usual…" She murmured softly, her eyes still staring down the ceiling. Hot tears bubbled to the surface, but she hurriedly wiped them away. Life was tough, but she was tougher. She was an auror, for god's sake, and she would have to learn to suck it up. Maybe over time she could learn to love another. Maybe she would eventually forget Remus, and actually move on… But the likelihood of that was slim. Remus was a hard man to forget, and he had impacted her too much. She was head over heels in love with him, and there was no way to fix that. So she would wait for him, until the ends of time.

Bill frowned at her response. "Oh," he muttered, obviously thinking of some way to attempt to comfort his friend. Scratching his chin, he leaned back as well. "Give him some time," Bill suggested, his eyes also on the ceiling now. "He'll come around, eventually."

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A/N: Yay for another author's note! Alright. I dunno if this was a good place to stop, but you must deal. I am very, very proud of this so far, because my writing has come a long, long way. Yay me! Thanks for reading, please, please, please! REVIEW!!! Next chapter up soon!