BLEACH: HOUSE BUILT ON SAND; SEQUEL TO A LINE IN THE SAND

Renji sat outside, leaning against the wooden home. He felt a great discomfort in sitting, but it wasn't like any other positions were more comfortable. He could hear the two ex-shinigami bickering inside about strategy. He tried to think about how to proceed as well, but found it impossible to concentrate. His mind could only scream, and it screamed for an awful liberation.

His body shivered in response, aching and pleading for the maintenance of his chronic habit. A wave of nausea pulsed through him, urging him to rid his stomach of its empty contents. Renji held his head. He felt as if his skull was wired with volts of electrical energy, which snapped and beat at his temples. Relief. He needed relief.

He grabbed onto his throbbing forearm. I won't give in, Renji yelled to himself. I won't. I won't. I won't. He had repeated himself until he forgotten his original intent altogether. And all that remained was that terrible craving- his sickening dependence.

Renji shot a desperate glance to his scarred forearm. The source. This was the source of his misery. His enemy. His own arm had turned against him. Renji's mind ran wild. "Stop taunting me," he mumbled to his arm. Renji stared hard at it. He could have sworn that the pinkish flecks of scar tissue resembled a face. He could see it. Two eyes and a hideous, wide smile… and it was laughing at him. It was staring back at him with conquest. Renji dug his nails into its perverse face. "Don't think you've won anything," he hissed. He broke the skin, and grinned when blood bubbled over the gouges. Curling his fingers into the tissue, he uprooted a blue vein. Ha! He'd won. The face was gone, hidden under its own gore. Then to be thorough, Renji began to peel its skin away.

And so he sat, happy and victorious, grabbing fleshy edges of skin and ripping them away slowly in strips from his forearm. It was a bloody, but glorious battle.

…

"Fucking Christ!!" It was Yoruichi's voice that screamed. It's shrill and terror fluttering into the wooden home, alarming the two other men. Their quick footsteps hurried outside to join her. Ichigo paused behind her, his line of vision joining hers. It felt unreal. Surely, this wasn't actually happening. It was a sick joke at best.

Ichigo's stomach convulsed and he crumpled over. The sour taste of bile still pooled in his mouth as he straightened and looked again onto the sickening parody.

No. This couldn't be real, but it was. This is happening. This is real. Ichigo's attempts to convince himself otherwise proved futile as his vision faded and he hit the ground. He lied unconscious, only a few feet away from Renji, whose still body leaned bloody against the house.

…

Light crept into Ichigo's eyes. Upon awaking, he found himself propped in a bolstered chair. His mind raced, flooding with memories. Renji. He threw himself about the room. It was empty, but he heard voices in the next. He ripped the screen door open. "Renji!" he screamed as tears rolled down from his devastated eyes. Two arms grabbed him. Kisuke Urahara.

"Ichigo stop!" the exile yelled. "Get a hold of yourself!" Ichigo thrashed about for a few more seconds before regaining his wits. He stood breathing hard.

"Who's that?" he heard a weak voice questioning. Ichigo scoured the room and saw Yoruichi, sitting on her knees, adjusting an IV that was fixed in Renji's undamaged arm. Renji was lying on his back, on top of a few piled futons. "Ichigo?" the man huffed. "Ichigo is that you?"

Kisuke waited for Yoruichi's permission before he unhanded Ichigo. The boy hurried to Renji's side.

"Yeah, Renji," Ichigo called to him in a quieted panic. "It's me. I'm here. I'm here now." He cursed the moment he ever left the man's side. Ichigo took Renji's relaxed hand into his own. "How is he?" he asked Yoruichi, his eyes still glued on the man.

Yoruichi hesitated. "His injuries… will heal, but he's…" Yoruichi eye's flooded with sympathy, "…he's very sick, Ichigo."

Renji cracked a smile, looking straight into Ichigo's wet eyes. "Ichigo, hey. Are we going now? You're not going to leave are you?" Renji formed his words carefully, voicing them calmly as his mind calculated; Ichigo might be useful.

"No," Ichigo cried a little harder. "No, I'm not going anywhere."

"But I need you to go somewhere. Won't you go somewhere for me?"

"What?" Ichigo searched Renji's desperate eyes. Yoruichi grew anxious and looked over to Kisuke, who was frowning. "Renji, what're you talking about?"

"Heh," Renji's mouth spread into a crooked grin. "You remember my place, don't you? Back at the den? You remember, right?"

"Yes, I remember."

Renji bit into his lower lip with excitement. "And the low table by the futon, you remember that too, right?" Ichigo nodded. Renji's smile widened. "In the top drawer-"

"-Renji, that's enough," came Yoruichi's hard voice. Renji's eyes darted onto the woman and then back onto Ichigo.

"Ichigo," Renji's smile quivered. "Please, in the top drawer there's a black case," Renji began to speak quicker, his grip tightened around Ichigo's hand. "Take it. Bring it here. You'll get this for me, won't you? Ichigo? Won't you?"

"Renji!" Yoruichi's voice boomed like a goddess. "Just stop."

Ichigo's mouth shook and tears stained his distraught face. "Renji, I can't."

"Ichigo!" Renji flared. Renji reached and grabbed the boy's shoulders. He sat up and the IV tugged at his arm. "You have to get this for me! Please! I'll do anything! I need it! Ichigo!"

The boy froze. "No," he said weakly.

Renji snarled and began to yell. Ichigo backed away. He was afraid- truly afraid, and of Renji. Yoruichi set herself between them. She pushed Renji back onto the futons and the man screamed more. Ichigo could hear his heart beating. It was too much. It was too real. He felt someone drag him to his feet. It was Kisuke. The exile guided Ichigo to the door and encouraged him to leave. "You don't need to see this," Kisuke said.

"Don't touch me! Stop it! Get away!" Renji's shouts filled the room and Yoruichi struggled to restrain him. "Ichigo!" The boy swallowed and left the room; his legs moved on their own, working like a machine. Behind him he could still hear Renji shouting at Yoruichi. "You bitch! I'll kill you! Do you hear me? I'll fucking rip you apart if you let me live! You're dead!" Ichigo walked out of the house so he wouldn't be able to hear any more of it.

…

Thirty hours past. Ichigo didn't move much. He sat in that same bolstered chair, rising only to pace. He couldn't eat and there was nothing to eat anyway. Kisuke sat cross-legged on the floor opposite him. It had been raining earlier; pooled water was dripping through the thatched roof and onto the floor. Ichigo listened to its constant drumming.

Yoruichi sauntered into the room, closing the screen behind her. She had made it clear that Ichigo was not to approach Renji again until more time had passed. She continued forward and sat next to Kisuke. No one spoke. The water dripped.

How long? How much longer would this go on? Ichigo kept to himself. What was there to say? There was nothing he could do- only things he should have done.

"Ichigo." It was Yoruichi who whispered. The water dripped. "It's been almost a week since you entered this place. We'd understand if you decided you wanted to leave. I'll take care of things here. If you want to begin finding a way out-"

"No," Ichigo answered quietly, shaking his head. "How could I?" The boy gave a weak smile and Yoruichi nodded.

"So be it." Yoruichi rose and rested her slight palm on Ichigo's shoulder. "He'll get better and he'll be the same man he was before. Just a few more days and it'll be out of his system." Ichigo swallowed and nodded. The water dripped. "Ichigo. Will you forgive him?"

The water dripped until morning.

…

Yoruichi allowed Ichigo to see Renji that evening. He slipped through the screen door and hesitated before continuing forward. He found Renji lying on his back, black ties restraining his limbs; although, the man didn't look well enough to fight against them. Ichigo walked closer so that Renji could see him, but the man was staring blankly at the ceiling. Ichigo noticed Renji's mouth moving silently- he was counting.

"Thirty, forty, fifty," the man counted on. Ichigo touched his face and directed it away from the ceiling. Renji's eyes rolled onto Ichigo, then slid back to the ceiling.

"What are you counting?" Ichigo mumbled quietly, unable to see anything on the ceiling. What does he see? Renji's mouth stopped moving, but it still hung open slightly; his distracted eyes stared motionlessly forward.

Ichigo sat next to the man's futon and raked his fingers through his crimson locks. They were both silent. Ichigo worked the man's hair into tiny braids. Hours past and Ichigo's hands cramped up. Never once in that time did Renji speak and never once did he look at Ichigo. He was lost and shattered. Everything had broken around him.

Ichigo studied Renji's face. It was unfocused and dazed, but still beautiful. Death hung about the man's eyes, and a deep sadness plagued them; but Ichigo still thought he was beautiful. He leaned over Renji's chest, "I'll always forgive you," he said.

…

Ichigo slept until the afternoon. Yoruichi told him that it'd be best if he'd skip visiting with Renji today; apparently, the man was feverish and slipping in and out of consciousness. Ichigo consented and busied himself by conversing with Kisuke. "Ah, Yoruichi hasn't been paying attention to me lately," the exile pouted.

"Well," Ichigo responded.

"…You know," Kisuke grinned. "You chose a pretty difficult relationship to pursue yourself."

Ichigo's eyes grew wide. "Wh-what?" he stuttered, blushing.

"Renji Abarai has always been, well, a bit rough around the edges." The exile laughed remembering, "He's always driven Rukia up the wall and I'd daresay Byakuya as well." His eyes grew serious behind his cheerful grin. "You're bound for heartbreak, Ichigo."

"I know," he answered, not meeting Kisuke's eyes.

That night Ichigo slept poorly. He woke in the early morning and for once, was grateful for his persistent insomnia. God knows, if he hadn't been able to sleep, he might not have noticed Renji's absence.

The shoji screen was pulled open and the room was empty behind it. Ichigo cursed and silently dashed out the house. As he exited the doorway into the outdoors, someone caught his wrist. It was Renji.

He must have been waiting outside the doorway. Was he waiting for me? Ichigo thought. "Ren-Renji?"

Renji only smiled and tugged on Ichigo's arm, motioning for him to follow. Ichigo's legs trailed behind him obediently. Neither spoke a word until they were out of earshot from the ex-shinigami. Renji halted and faced Ichigo with a gentle smile.

"Renji… where are you taking me?"

"Back home."

"What?"

Renji sighed. "You're going back to your world, now."

"No, wait. What about Yoruichi and Kisuke?"

"They go later."

"What? Renji, you're not making any sense!" Ichigo tore his hand from the man's grip. "Please! Just explain to me!"

Renji let out another sigh. "You're such a strange kid," he said, tracing Ichigo's jaw with his hand.

"Stop it." Ichigo turned his head away from the man's touch. "This is wrong."

"Is it?" Renji turned his gaze away. "I want you to go back home," he extended his palm to Ichigo. "Come on."

"We'll all go back… together. Yoruichi, Kisuke and you too Renji- We'll all go home."

"Home," a laugh caught in Renji's throat. "Don't gimme that crap." He pointed at Ichigo, "You belong in the human world. You're going back now. So get ov-"

"No!"

Renji grumbled. "This is what I get for starting a relationship with a teenager," Renji mumbled as he hoisted Ichigo over his shoulder.

"Hey! Renji! What the fuck?! Let me down!" the boy pounded on Renji's back. Rage caused Ichigo's face to flush. "Idiot! This is why people call you loutish!"

Renji laughed, "People say that?"

"Renji! Seriously! Put me down- ah!" Ichigo winced when he hit the ground. "Bastard! Did you have to drop me so suddenly?!"

Renji crouched to Ichigo's eye level, "Why? Do you like when I hold you?" Blood rushed into Ichigo's speechless face. A sudden, throaty laugh erupted from Renji. "You're hilarious."

"Wha- Fuck you!" Ichigo jumped onto his feet. "I hate this, Renji!" he yelled suddenly, speaking and not really knowing why. Why'd he half to voice these feelings? He wasn't even sure where they were coming from. "You're always just fucking with me! I can't stand it! What am I to you?!" Renji stood in shock as Ichigo continued, "Am I your little toy? Well? Am I just some sort of amusing hobby? You're sick! You're sick! Do you hear me?! Sick!"

"Hey! I don't think of you like that so sh-!"

"-I don't want to hear it! Everything you do or say is just like a sick game! How can you treat people like this?! Like they're just some plaything?! How can you live with yourself?!" Renji stood quiet. Ichigo panicked. No! No! That's not what I wanted to say! I don't really feel like that! What am I doing?! What did I say! Ichigo stared desperately at Renji. Why won't he say anything?!

"I…" Renji's voice cracked and he fell silent. He just wanted to be good. He wanted to be so good to Ichigo, but he'd done everything wrong. Ichigo's words echoed in his head: "How can you live with yourself?!"

"Renji," Ichigo called anxiously. "I didn't mean…" Damn it! I'm such an idiot!

"I handled you all wrong," Renji said abruptly. "I know that." Renji gripped Ichigo's arm and pulled the boy into him. "But this is real to me," he said releasing Ichigo's arm and bringing his hand behind the boy's neck. "You're the only thing right in my life. I could never think of you as a game." Renji pressed his forehead onto Ichigo's. "Fuck- I love you too much." He brought his mouth onto Ichigo's and kissed him ardently.

Ichigo felt desire stir in him. He didn't want Renji to stop. He wanted to feel the man's touch wandering on his body. He wanted to feel Renji's lips trail lower. He wanted, oh, he wanted! His skin burned with desire, his flesh remembering the sensations of all their previous encounters. "Renji," Ichigo moaned into the man's mouth. Renji pulled his lips away and looked at Ichigo. "You said… you love me?"

"I don't know what else to do with you," Renji answered, his mouth curved into a smile.

"I'm so scared," Ichigo cried, burying his face into Renji's shirt, "to lose you. With all the fucking shit you do," Ichigo thought of the man's suicide and drug abuse. He thought of what had happened only a few days ago; he remembered the look of Renji's limp and bloodied body leaning against the house. He remembered the man's arm, raw and destroyed by its own partner. "I'm so scared that I'll wake up and you'll be gone for good."

Renji hugged the boy tightly. A moment of silence passed. "Sorry. I just don't… know how else to deal with things," he said slowly. "I know, I'm a fucking moron. I know."

"You are. You're a real fucking moron!"

"I know."

"You fucking moron!"

"I know."

Ichigo grabbed onto Renji's waist. "You make me fucking nuts. You know that?" Renji nodded. Ichigo swallowed, but how could I live without you? I couldn't. When you… died. When you went to hell, I was such a mess. Ichigo laughed with his thoughts. "When you were gone, it was unbearable. And I would rather live in this hell, then be without you, because nothing is worse than that."

"Ichigo…?"

"So what I'm trying to say is," Ichigo stumbled over the words. "I just- I mean- Fuck! I guess I love you too, Renji!"

"Geez."

…

Renji and Ichigo stood sheepishly in the doorway. "Wake the fuck up!" Renji boomed, his demand waking Yoruichi and Kisuke. "This kid ain't leaving without you. So get yer asses up."

"What? Renji? Renji! What are you doing walking around?" Yoruichi yelled to him. "You shouldn't be up! I had-"

"Yeah, I was bound up like a crazy person, I know. Shut up. Let's go."

"Renji," Ichigo sounded shocked. He hadn't expected the man to act so rudely, especially not to Yoruichi.

Renji breathed deeply. Why am I so irritated? I've got to calm down. Renji tried to focus himself. He knew what his problem was. His body was still hooked and experiencing the last strands of withdrawal. His mind was still screaming. He needed a fix- needed it badly. He shook it away. "Come on. We've got to get going."

"And where well you take us Assistant Captain Abarai? I'm rather curious." It was Kisuke's coy voice that spoke.

"To God. You want to get home, don't you? You've got to live out your ostracism in the place where you were sentenced to meet it." Renji grinned. "And I'm sick of this place. The air here doesn't suit me."

"No, I suppose it doesn't." Kisuke answered flatly.

"You're sure you know the way?" Yoruichi asked Renji carefully.

"Of course. I've been there before."

Ichigo squirmed next to Renji. Something wasn't adding up. They'd had this conversation before. The boy began to feel uneasy all over again. He noticed that Yoruichi and Kisuke looked doubtful.

Renji looked onto Ichigo. He could feel the boy's reluctance, could see it on his face. Ichigo, your onto me already, eh? Renji smiled sadly to himself. This needed to be done. He'd get these three back into the human world, but he had no intention of returning with them. He knew very well that this was where his life and Ichigo's would part. Renji would be the one to strike the deal with God. It would be his sacrifice, his gift, to Ichigo. This would be how he made right on everything. He only hoped that Ichigo wouldn't figure out his intentions too early. He squeezed onto boy's hand, and Ichigo looked up at him with worry. I'm no good for you Ichigo, Renji reminded himself. I tried to be, fuck, I tried!

Renji clenched his jaw shut. Would this be one of their last moments together? He didn't want it to be. Let him go, Renji told himself again. You're a damned man, and Ichigo's got a life outside this place. It's not fair to hold him back.

It hurt. In the end, Renji would always be a stray dog and it hurt to know it. He cursed himself. "Well, come on then," Renji added dryly. "Let's go home."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Well that's it! I hoped you liked the conclusion of HOUSE BUILT ON SAND! I also hope it wasn't too confusing or hard to follow! Thank you to those who reviewed for your support! Thank you so much!

…

I had trouble writing the mushy "I love you" scene, but I enjoyed writing Renji's craziness!

Thanks again for reading! If you'd like, please review!

I'd love your feedback- good or bad!