CARAMEL. A Gokusen songfic. All standard disclaimers apply.

caramel, the song is by Suzanne Vega.

……

It won't do
to dream of caramel
to think of cinnamon
and long for you.

It was a warm night. She tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn't get the accident earlier that day out of her head.

She had tripped like an idiot, and Shin just happened to be in the way.

She fell on him, and they landed in heap.

She wondered why her face seemingly rested on something soft and warm. Shouldn't she have smacked against cold, hard floor?

Oh. no.

Wait. Maybe this was...nope. Definitely flesh. No chance of it being his chest or something.

Her lips were pressed firmly against his.

Even more surprising, his face was completely red, his expression flustered, and looked as if she had just found out about his deepest, darkest secret, and could do nothing about it.

Worse, they were surrounded by students.

She was off him, in a flash, made some lame excuse, and dashed off.

Oh, kami. How mortifying! And it was Shin, of all people!!!

Well. Maybe it wasn't so bad. At least it was Shin, and not someone else, like (god forbid! eeeeewww) Kyoto-sensei. And Shin was definitely the best looking guy there.

She smacked herself repeatedly. NO! WRONG! IT WAS NOT OKAY TO KISS A STUDENT!!!

not even if it was an accident? A small voice asked.

She touched her lips thoughtfully.

They were amazingly soft, though. Shin's lips. That was her first kiss, too.

DAMMIT!!! SHE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!! AAAARGH!!!

She forcefully covered her face with her blanket, and smacked herself a little bit more. Oh, kami. Why did that damn brat keep popping in her head, anyway!!!

It won't do
to stir a deep desire
to fan a hidden fire
that could not burn true

Shin, on the other hand, was facing a similar situation.

He didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, although it felt great to have her so close-even feel her lips on his. On the other hand...it was an accident.

She didn't mean it. It didn't get him any closer to her emotionally, nor would it change the fact that she'd only think of him as her student.

Unlike him, she definitely did not fantasize about what it would feel like to kiss her...properly. Not like what happened earlier.

He slapped a hand against his forehead. It was so sudden, he couldn't even hide what he felt.

There he was, staring at her like an idiot, unable to control how his face gave everything away.

Thankfully, she was too dense. He could confess to her right now, and it would be as intelligible as a foreign language. Like Greek.

No accident could make her fall in love with him. Which is why, nice as it was, it still sort of upset him.

It was like giving you a taste of something you've always wanted, and having it taken away, knowing you wanted more.

The gods were cruel. Since childhood, females always did anything and everything they could to get him to notice them, but the one person he wanted wasn't interested in him that way.

And if that wasn't bad enough, she was built like a preteen boy, was manlier than a muscular alpha male wrestler, and could probably beat the living shit out of a lynch mob of bodybuilders, all by herself.

He was in love with a freak.

i know your name.

At first, he thought he only liked her. Or respected her. Or thought her amusing. But as time passed by, something started to change. He started looking forward to seeing her. He began to think her antics almost...cute.

And somewhere along the way, he stopped making excuses and admitted to himself how he truly felt for her.

Just like a moth to the fire. He knew she'd never look at him that way, but he couldn't stop.
He needed her warmth. He realized that when they almost died at the hands of the Nekomata.
And as much as he told himself over and over that he should...he just couldn't give her up.

I know your skin.

She couldn't escape it. Alone in her room, she was her own worst enemy. Her memory betrayed her too easily. It didn't even focus too much on the accident, but on the things that really bothered her.

The texture of his lips. The warmth of his body. His smooth, tender cheek. The deep, rich color of his eyes, and that fresh scent on him that she couldn't describe...

It was as if she never really noticed just how attractive Shin was, until today.

NO! NO! NO!!! WILL THIS NEVER END!!! SHE HAD CLASS TOMORROW!!!

She groaned loudly. How could she face him, now, remembering...ALL those things?

i know the way these things...begin.

Oh, Kami. And if she was so upset by this kind of accident...how much more would it bother her if it really happened?

If Shin kissed her...for real. With those...

Delectable. (STOP IT!)

Luscious. (GAAAAH!!!)

Sinful. (DAMN RIGHT!)

...lips of his.

Oh, Kami. She was a pervert. THIS WAS ALL HIS FAULT!!!

but i don't know

why was she even thinking of him?

he was just her student!

why did it bother her too much?

wasn't he just her student?

wasn't he just, at most, a friend?

how i would live with myself

Sometimes he wondered why she was so uncomfortable when they were alone in a closed room.

Why she felt the need to tell him about anything and everything about her day.

Why she even unconsciously relied on him for answers or followed his advice.

Even the way she looked at him, when he wore that fundoshi.

There were times when he could almost feel as if she might not be as immune to him as he believed...

...and yet, when they were surrounded by people, she didn't seem to mind their close proximity or physical contact, and it seemed as if she was indifferent to his presence, altogether.

He sat up, removing the blanket from his body, and looked out the window.

Dammit. As much as he could tell what she was thinking about everything else, he still didn't know if he had a chance.

And there was still that damn lawyer. He knew how she felt about him, and that was information he could've lived without.

He hated it. He hated feeling jealous. He hated feeling helpless. He hated to lose, and it didn't seem like there was a way to win her.

Especially since the main thing she slapped him with wasn't just the fact that she was his teacher.

And again, he cursed his youth, that he could do nothing about.

what i'd forgive of myself

There was no way she could be attracted to him.

There was no way she'd ever consider him as anything other than friend or student.

There was no way she'd ever kiss him, or be kissed by him.

There was no way they could ever be anything else.

It didn't seem right. No. It WASN'T right.

Then why did she feel so bad about it?

if you don't go.

She was a teacher-his teacher. He was six years younger. He couldn't afford to even be seen near her house, since his father was the police commissioner.

And in a few more months, he would be leaving for college.

And in a few years, he could very well succeed in anything he wanted. He was brilliant, resourceful...he had a lot of good qualities.

And she couldn't be the one who messed it all up for him.

it won't do
to dream of caramel.

He really should just forget about her. She wasn't even cute to begin with. And she was so unnatural. Seriously. It wasn't even funny that he felt this way.

to think of cinnamon...

He was young, he had the world ahead of him. She would just slow him down.

...and long for...

...but still...for a real kiss...even just one...

...you.

"Ugh. Why get so worked up over such a small accident, anyway?" They muttered disgustedly, at the same time.

That's all it was, after all. It just happened. No reason to think about it too much.

They both had the same grim thoughts, each trying to push it away, in their own respective rooms.

Shin, in his apartment, Kumiko, at the Ooedo's.

Besides. There was still class tomorrow.