A/N: Loosely based off of the book REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book by Robert Hamburger. And if you've never read the book, I strongly recommend it. It's hilarious. Anyway, Sora gives us a guide to all that is Riku. And, yes, it will have strong Riku x Sora hints. Just tellin' you now. Oh yes, and this is from Sora's point of view.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters from the game. Moreover, I do not own Square Enix or Disney. And that sucks.
Rating: Rated T for suggestive themes and such. It may go up in the future, but we'll see.
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Sora's Ultimate Guide to Riku
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What is a Riku? Well, I bet that lots of you reading this think you truly know what a Riku is. But I should really rephrase that. Riku's not really a what; he's more of a who. And there is really only one Riku, so the question should be: Who is Riku? And maybe you know who Riku is . . . on the outside. You know he's my best-friend-turned-lover-hottie-with-a-tight-little-behind, but do you really know Riku? And I mean really? No, of course not. Luckily, I, Sora: Master of all that is Riku, am here to enlighten you about the man underneath the flowing silver tresses.
Our first step in learning about Riku is to know exactly what he is. Thus, the first section is titled: Getting to Know Riku.
Getting to know Riku:
Riku is a male of the 16 year old age variety. He is a warm blooded, non-egg laying mammal. Hairy only on his head, he must wear clothes to keep warm and to be considered decent in every day society. I would prefer he wear no clothes, but I don't have that kind of power.
Sensitive to sun noting his pale complexion and fair hair, it is a wonder that he lives in an island based community. Where there's lots of sun. And I've never seen him get a sunburn. I've seen him tan, but how he escapes the deadly rays of the sun is beyond me.
Tall and lean, he shows off his stomach often. And rightly so. Seen primarily wearing tank tops as well, it would seem that he enjoys his arms. And while firm and muscular, it's a wonder if he even wears shirts with sleeves. But I ain't complainin'. However, it would seem that he likes covering up his legs due to the fact that he chooses to wear pants of a baggier variety. But, whatever. His body, I suppose.
He attracts both female and male mammals with his trademark hair and grin. And with a well placed wink, Riku's facial features can be known to be quite devastating.
Scene 1: Riku walks up to a large crowd of people. There is a guitar playing softly in the background. A drum sound corresponds to every step he takes. The crowd begins to part for him and, eventually, becomes deadly silent. The only noise that can be heard is the sound of the guitar getting loader and faster in the background. When he makes his way up to the front, Riku stands with his back to the audience for a few moments. Taking his sunglasses off as he turns his head, he shakes his hair around a bit. Looking at the crowd, he gives them a stunning grin. The guitar goes silent as Riku says, "Thanks," and then he winks. The guitar comes back wailing hard as the people in the crowd swoon and faint. Riku then walks off into the sunset as the guitar fades off.
Some people think Riku is just a hot piece of man meat. And while he is that, there's more to him besides his looks. Sensitive in some occasions, Riku has been known to cry at movies such as Titanic and A Little Princess. However, he never openly admits that he cries. He always has something "in his eye". How convenient. Anyway, he can be known to be quite a jerk at times too. Such instances would include, but are not limited to: eating the last of your French fries, waking you up early if he was bored of being up alone, tickling you into a fetal position for twenty minutes while you cried, laughed, and screamed, "I surrender!", but he didn't stop because he said you were just too adorable, etc. Overall, he is charming, funny, and jerkish. But I love him. And I know a good majority of you do as well.
Well, now that you've gotten to know Riku, maybe you should know a little about the origin of Riku. Sure, his personality's all well and good, but how was his upbringing? What were his first words to me? This section is titled: Getting to know Riku – The Back-story.
Getting to know Riku – The Back-story:
An only child, Riku grew up in a loving family with a mom and a dad. Probably. Born and raised on Destiny Islands, he longed for something else. Something like another world, so when he got there he could be all, "Hey, wow. Another world. Cool!" and then, when he got back, he could say, "I've been to another world. It's cool."
When I first met Riku, we were both pretty young. It was on the island we continually went to, you know the one, and I remember it being just him and me. It was a warm day with a salty breeze.
Scene 2:
Riku: Hey.
Sora: Uh, hi.
Riku: . . .
Sora: Um . . .
Riku: Feeling tired?
Sora: Wha?
Riku: Do you need a break from the everyday? Boss getting you down?
Sora: I, uh . . . what?
Riku: What you need, my friend, is to help me find a way off this island to another world! There, you can relax in style. Space is limited, fun is not.
Sora: . . . Uh, ok!
Riku: Great!
And that's how that went. Anyway, we lived out a few more good years on that island making plans and doodling on cave walls.
Finally, the night came when the whole "Kingdom Hearts" fiasco started. And had Riku been afraid of the dark, then it wouldn't have happened the way it did. Fortunately for me, the instant Riku succumbed to the darkness, he gave up his right to be the rightful keyblade master. And while it hurts that I am the second pick for the job, I accepted it gracefully. Skipping over the details, we both had to shut each other on opposite sides of the door. I'd like to point out, however, that Riku had seemed to develop an extreme case of Bipolar disorder throughout this game. Of course, it may have just been teenage angst, but he got over that phase . . . thankfully.
Then, we had to deal with the equally annoying "Chain of Memories" thing. While I was doing my little ditty, Riku was doing his. Unfortunately, I feel asleep before I saw Riku, so we didn't have any time for the whole hugging/kissing part of our reunion. And, when I woke up, he was gone. But I guess I never really knew he had come to see me in the first place. Still, my Riku sense had been tingling. I even had a dream about him in the creepy sleeping chamber/pod/blob.
Dream Sequence: I am standing in the middle of nowhere when, suddenly, I hear, "Hey there, Baby Cakes." Turning, I see Riku standing there with his hand outstretched to me. Shaking my head I say, "Not again!" Looking at me confusedly, dream Riku says, "Ah, come on. You know you want to." Deciding to just do it, I walk over to him holding my arm out as well. When I'm only a few feet from him I start thinking, "Great. When I get over there he's gonna get swept away by an ocean, engulfed by darkness, picked up by a tornado, or some other crazy yet annoying thing like that." However, when I reach him, I feel his hand close around mine. Surprised, I look down at my hand and come to discover that I actually grabbed his hand this time. Looking into his eyes, he winks at me. I swoon and faint. And that's it.
When "Kingdom Hearts II" came around, I was searching desperately for Riku, while he was too ashamed to find me because of his appearance. In the end, however, we got back together, and he got his appearance back. So we beat Xemnas up good, returned home, and then Riku made me a man. Of sorts.
Currently, Riku is living peacefully on Destiny Islands. His dreams of finding other worlds has been overly satisfied, and he spends a good portion of his time sitting on a tree and staring into nothingness. Other than that, he spends most of his time with me. And we do things.
Alright, well, now you know Riku. I mean, you know about him. You don't know him yet. I have so much more to tell you! Where else will you learn of Riku's various weapons or the correct way to approach a Riku? How will you know what to feed him? From whom else will you learn how to love a Riku in the proper way? That's what I thought.
In the next chapter, we will explore the hobbies and interests of Riku. This will give you the proper tools for engaging Riku in conversation. It will also give you hints and tips on what you should get Riku on special occasions if you choose to get him anything at all. Moreover, this will fully conclude the section on "Getting to know Riku", and we'll then move on to the more intimate, complicated things. Thank you.
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A/N: Short and sweet. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Well, you know what will be in store for the next chapter, so keep an eye out for that. And thanks for reading.