A/N: Hey everyone, I hope that you like my newest oneshot. I worked very hard on it and edited it over and over again. Please enjoy my newest addtion R&R!
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Avoiding You
"Stupid Roxas," I muttered to myself while gazing at my feet.
What has been up with him? I mean, he's been behaving like a total asshole and only to me. I was still muttering to myself about how horrible that boy was that I didn't notice I was already home.
Home. Roxas used to always walk me home, we would always have a great time too. He always made me laugh somehow and he would even let me ride on his skateboard if I let him see my sketchbook; my whole life was poured into that tattered sketchbook. My thoughts my feelings, what I saw everyday. It was my own personal journal through images rather than words. I never went anywhere without it. I wanted to capture everything with my pencil. Kairi was the only one who was allowed to have an inside look at my mind besides him.
Thinking about him again brought me back to reality; what was happening now, not what had happened in the past. Not wanting to be outside anymore, I stalked into my house, bringing all of my hurt with me. Too bad I can't leave all the hurt I was feeling at the front door and have the garbage man pick it up on trash day. Why did emotions have to be so complex?
BANG!
"Whoa, Naminé, what's getting you all steamed?" Kairi asked me, her maroon tresses swaying into her concerned blue orbs.
I walked into our shared room and plopped down on my white comforter, not before throwing my bag as hard as I could against the wall.
Kairi is my twin sister; we both have the same dark and mischievous oceanic eyes but she inherited the dark red hair while I was left with the golden locks of sunshine as she likes to call it. The thing is, people expect twins to be same person but Kairi and I aren't anything alike. She loves pouring her heart and soul into writing while mine goes into my art. But, we do have our similarities; we are both extremely shy and each of us is a very caring person. Only thing is I care too much about Kairi more than my own wellbeing. I would rather see her happy than myself happy. I guess that it's just the bond between twins.
Kairi sighed, and rolled over onto her flat stomach in order to have a better look at my upset self.
"It's Roxas, isn't it? Is he still avoiding you?"
"Yes he's still avoiding me. That's all he's been doing for the past month! I don't know what I did to deserve this. He's hurting me very badly though. My best friend, besides you, has decided to ignore my existence," I said with a frustrated sigh.
"All I want is to know what I have done to deserve our friendship to be tossed aside like it never happened."
The tears that I was holding in for the day were now starting to well at the corners of my eyes, waiting for my permission to let them fall. Sniffing, I looked up at Kairi to see concern and sympathy looking back at me through her eyes.
"Roxas is still great friends with you Kai, has he told you anything about why he has been avoiding me?" I asked her, hoping that she would at least know something about his newfound behavior.
Kairi shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry, Naminé, but Roxas hasn't told me anything about what's been going on to cause his avoidance."
"Well, maybe you can ask Sora. He's Roxas's cousin, they live with each other and he's your boyfriend. I know you tell each other everything," I said sitting up.
Kairi blushed when I mentioned Sora. She's been going out with him for about two months now. It was to my credit, along with Roxas that finally brought them together. They were both too shy and too stubborn to admit their feelings. But we changed that.
God dammit Naminé! You have got to stop thinking about him. You and he are no longer together. Thinking about him will only bring you more pain.
Again, Kairi shook her head. "Naminé, you know how Roxas is. He never shares his emotions with anyone. He's always wearing a mask. I doubt he would tell Sora his reasons for avoiding you."
Permission finally granted, my tears started to fall. She was right. Roxas never showed his true emotions.
He only did around you if you remember. You were always able to let his mask fall when you were with him. You're the only one who has ever seen him as his true self, not his guarded self.
The tears were falling faster now and in pairs. I grabbed my sketchbook and began to walk out the door.
"Nami, where are you going?" Kairi called after me.
I turned around to answer her before I was gone, "I just need to be alone right now."
With that, I continued my stride down the stairs and out the front door. Re-entering the cold atmosphere, I began walking in the direction towards my safe haven, one of the only places where I could let my art take me over.
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Kairi's POV
I sighed. I hated seeing Naminé in pain. Not just any pain, but pain that is inflicted upon someone by a trusted friend. Why was Roxas avoiding her? Right now, I hated him with every fiber in my being. I wanted answers.
I grabbed the phone in our bedroom and dialed Sora's number.
"Hello?" Sora said when he picked up.
"Hey it's Kairi."
"Oh hey, so how are you doing?" he asked me in a cheerful tone once he realized it was me.
"Not so good," I said, "but before you get all worried, it's not me that you should be concerned about, it's Naminé."
"Why what's wrong with your sister?" Sora asked confused.
"Your cousin Roxas is what is wrong with Nami! He has been avoiding her for the past month. He never talks to her and you know how close they are, well, were. I want to know what my sister has done to be treated this way. All I know is that your cousin is the reason why she's hurting so much!" I shrieked into the phone.
"Ow! Kairi," Sora winced into the phone, "can you lower your voice before my ear starts to bleed? Listen, you know how my cousin is, he's as hard as a rock when it comes to showing his emotions; hence the name, Roxas. I'll see if I can talk to him about it."
"I want to be there when you talk to him because I want to give him a piece of my mind," I muttered into the phone.
"OK, here's the plan, meet me at my house in five minutes. We'll talk to Roxas about what's going on between him and Naminé," he said.
"Sounds good. See you in five minutes. Bye."
"Bye," he said, and hung up the phone.
Finally, some questions were going to be answered.
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Normal POV
I was walking down the streets of Twilight Town. It was cold for a day in June; it's as if the weather matches what I'm feeling right now. Instead of the dreary weather, dampening my spirit to another level of hurt, it brightened my mood a little. When I mean a little, I am talking about a very small decrease in the pain. By having the gray weather, I was not alone. The sky was in pain too and needed to pour out its emotions onto those who had caused her pain. How long would it be until the sky would unleash her fury, letting everyone know how she feels?
I stopped at a very tall building, the clock tower. This was my safe haven, the only place where I was free of everything. No one knew about my place, I never told anyone where I vanished to when I wanted to be alone. Not even Kairi or Roxas knew. I began to climb up the ladder with one hand grasping each step while the other clutched my sketchbook to my chest for dear life.
I climbed over the edge of the ladder to reach the platform that stretched across the whole surface on the top of the tower. It was nice to sketch up hear since the clock tower overlooks every view in the town. But that's not the only reason why I love it up hear, I love listening to the churns of the cogs. The churning was like a symphony to me.
Sitting down with my knees close to my chest, I rested my sketchbook on my bent knees and took out my pencil that was in the binding. I began to draw.
When I draw, I get lost in my own world and let what I am feeling take over. My hand began to make the outline of a face. The melodious tune of the cogs overtook me and I no longer knew what my pencil began to create. When I focused back in on my newest creation, I dropped my pencil and it clattered onto the floor.
I had drawn him. Even though there was no color to the picture, I could still see his cerulean orbs. They were filled with an emotion that I didn't recognize one that I yearned to know. It was the emotion I saw every time he looked at me from the distance that had separated us. I used to see the unknown emotion every now and then when we used hang out, but I see it more now that he's gone.
I wanted to know what it was that caused him to have that look. He only had that look for me and only me. I never saw it when he looked at Kairi or Sora. Why did he only have it when he gazed at me? What was it?
Whatever the emotion was, it captivated me.
Escaping the gaze his eyes gave me, I didn't notice that darkness was beginning to cover me like a blanket. I stood up and walked down the ladder and headed back home.
When I reached the street I lived on, I noticed that Kairi was also walking back towards our home.
Confused, I called out to her, "Kairi, what are you doing out here?"
My outburst seemed to have startled her because she jumped when I said her name.
"Oh Nami, you scared me. I needed to get out of the house, so I decided to go and visit Sora." She said rather quickly.
"Is something wrong," I asked her, confused, "you seem a little jumpy?"
Kairi laughed at the question.
"No, nothing's wrong. Why would you think something is wrong?" She replied nervously.
I shrugged her off and continued my way inside. I would try and get it out of her tomorrow. If only I heard what she said before I entered our house.
"Nothing is wrong at all. In fact, everything will be better after Roxas tells you everything." Kairi said with a smile.
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Roxas's POV: One Hour Earlier
I was lying on my bed looking at my star covered ceiling; the one that Naminé decorated with the plastic stars. Naminé. I sighed.
I can't stop thinking about you.
She's all that's been on my mind lately. Everything reminded me of her. Hearing bells reminded me of her laugh, the sun showed me her smile; but nothing could describe her sapphire eyes. Her eyes made the sky a dull blue. I always see her eyes now.
What I was feeling right now was deep and utter remorse. Why? Why did I have to let my emotions get in the way of mine and Naminé's friendship? Why did I have to fall in love with her?
I guess avoiding you was the only way to not cause you pain and to save you.
I only avoided her to protect her. I did not want her to feel awkward around me. I guess, I thought that if I avoided her, she would be happier at losing our friendship that way instead of me confessing to her and bringing her other unwanted emotions.
Only thing is, it was harder to avoid her than I thought. I always wanted to go back to her and tell her everything. I couldn't do it though. I was afraid. What made it harder was when she would look at me. Her eyes told me everything, they told me of her pain and of her confusion.
I turned over onto my side, hoping that if I shifted into a new position, I would no longer feel the numb. It was still there though. The numb was firmly holding onto my heart.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
"Come in." I said glumly.
Sora appeared behind the door and walked in with a glare on his face and Kairi was behind him with an identical glower.
"What's going on?" I asked, confused as to why Sora and Kairi were angry.
"We need to talk about you and Naminé." Sora said.
Kairi angrily commanded, "I want to know what my sister has done to deserve the way you've been treating her for the past month!"
Looking back and forth between the two, I sighed.
"Go away. I don't want to talk about-"but Sora interrupted.
"We aren't leaving until we have answers."
"Roxas," Kairi began, "please tell us what's going on. I can't stand seeing Naminé crying everyday! Ever since you started avoiding her, she's been in constant pain. She has no more life in her. She's doesn't smile anymore. I want to see her smile again, but I can't because I don't know what to do to make her happy. All I know is that you are the one who is inflicting the pain on her and I want you to stop hurting her! YOU BETTER GOD DAMN TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON OR SO HELP ME- " Kairi shouted.
I couldn't take it anymore. A month's worth of pent up emotions were starting to get to me. I had to say everything.
"FINE!" I stood up shouting at them, "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'VE BEEN AVOIDING NAMINÉ FOR THE PAST MONTH? IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"
Breathing deeply, I looked down. Both Kairi and Sora stared at me with wide eyes.
"You, you love her?" Kairi whispered.
"Yes, I lover her," I said in a quiet voice, "I have since these past six months. I've been avoiding her because I couldn't bear being with her without telling her how I feel. I thought I made the right choice." Sighing, I sat back down on my bed with my head hanging.
"Now, I know that it was a mistake. I brought pain down on everyone. I wish I could go back and erase what I've done."
"It's not too late to tell her you love her Roxas," Sora said while placing a hand gently on my shoulder.
"Yeah, Sora and I will help you get Naminé back." Kairi piped in.
I smiled sadly, "Thanks guys, but I don't think it will work. I did too much to have her hate me for life. I don't think she could ever love me back after what I did to her."
"I wouldn't be to sure Roxas," Kairi smiled softly; "I have a feeling that she loves you. She just doesn't know it yet."
"How do you know?" I asked her, hope starting to replace the numb.
"Well," she began, "I know she loves you because I can see it in her eyes and, she hasn't drawn anything but you for the past month."
I gaped at her. Naminé was drawing me? Why?
Because she loves you.
After what Kairi said, I was determined more than ever to make everything right.
"Anyone got any ideas on how to tell Naminé everything?" I said
The smiling pair looked at me and started filling me in on their plan.
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Normal POV
"Naminé, it's time to get up." Kairi said while softly shaking me to wake me.
Yawning, I said, "I'm up, I'm up. What time is it?"
"11:30," she said, "hurry up and get dressed."
Kairi left the room and went downstairs for breakfast. Sitting with my legs dangling over the side of the bed, I stretched all the sore muscles from sleeping. I got up and opened the window. It looked like the sky was still in pain; the weather had turned into a darker grey. Today was more prone to her pouring out her pain onto a passerby.
Looking at the weather reminded me too much of my own pain. I closed the window and draped the curtain back over it to conceal me from more pain.
I went to the closet and dressed in a white long-sleeve cashmere sweater with a pair of washed out jeans. I was dressing for warmth and comfort today. I wanted to rid the feeling of hurt by wearing comfort.
"Good Morning Kairi," I said when I sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal.
"The same to you," she said looking up from her bowl.
"So do you want to go down to the park today? I thought it would be a great opportunity for you to draw while I sat and got to write. Sora might meet up with us as well," Kairi said.
"Sure, why not. What time are we going to go to the park?" I asked
"Well, I was thinking that we could get there at around 12:00 which is twenty-five minutes from now and you know how it's at least a twenty minute walk from here. So if we want to go now, grab your sketch book and let's go!" Kairi said with a smile.
After grabbing my sketchbook, we headed to the park. It was colder than yesterday. I wouldn't mind if it rained for a while today, I love the rain; it's just always so soothing. And with how I'm feeling right now, the sky's pain could wash away my own.
We arrived at the park and began walking to our favorite spot by the pond before I stopped in the middle of the path. No. Why is he here with Sora?
"Kairi," I said not knowing that I was shaking when I was talking to her, "What is Roxas doing here with Sora? Does he know that I'm coming with you?"
"Well, actually, yes, Roxas does know you're coming. He wants to talk to you," Kairi nervously replied.
"I don't want to talk to him, Kairi," I fiercely whispered to her.
I glanced at him to see that he was looking right at me; his cerulean eyes peering into my own with that emotion that was unknown to me. Roxas was staring at me all the while I just stood there as a deer captured by its predator.
Just looking at him made two emotions surface from within me; fear and anger. I was afraid of what he wanted to say but I was also angry at the pain he put me through for the past month.
Glancing at Kairi, I said hurriedly, "I need to go. I don't want to be here anymore."
With, that, I began to run with my sketchbook held against my chest.
"Naminé!" a voice said. Roxas's voice. It was the voice that I had longed to hear for so long; the voice that had been haunting me in my dreams. Instead of turning around and looking at Roxas, I kept running. I wanted to get away from him as far as possible. I was the one who was doing the avoiding now.
The sky was finally willing to let her tears fall all the while I ran from the park. She was releasing her pain along with me. Even with my own tears falling and mixing with the sky's, I was not escaping from the pain; no, the pain was still with me.
I needed to reach the clock tower. No one would find me there. I stumbled up the ladder as fast as I could to escape everything that was down below.
There was no such luck however. I didn't even escape.
I was on the top platform for no more than ten minutes when I heard someone else climbing up onto the platform. I turned around to see who it was and what I saw brought all the anger back. It was Roxas.
"Go away!" I screamed at him.
"Not until you listen to me," Roxas said determinedly.
He was walking towards me and I kept backing up; I backed up into a wall. Dammit. Roxas closed some distance between us where it was enough to where I wouldn't be able to escape. He was blocking me and my way out. I was trapped.
"How did you find me?" I said fiercely.
"I followed you after you fled from the park. You have no idea what I've been going through this past month," he said hoarsely.
I snorted. "What you've been going through? Are you serious? I sure as hell don't know what you went through, but what you put me through has been torture. You decided it would be better to drop our friendship without a warning or explanation. You hurt me so much and put me through so much pain." I said, the tears coming out faster and faster.
"It was so hard avoiding you. I never meant to hurt you." He whispered sadly.
"Then why did you start avoiding me in the first place if it was so damn hard?" I scoffed.
"Do you want to know why it was so damn hard?" He yelled in frustration. "It was because I wanted to do this-"
Without anytime to respond, Roxas pulled my face towards him and gave me a chastised kiss. The feel of lips on mine sent a whirlwind of emotions spinning. It was heaven. I was brought back to earth when he pulled away. Why did he stop? I wanted to feel those emotions again.
Roxas looked down at me his eyes piercing mine. There it was again, that emotion.
"That was what I wanted to do for so long," he said resting his forehead against mine. "I avoided you because every time I was near you, you made me feel things I never felt before. For once, I felt like I wouldn't be able to hide my emotions around you."
I looked at him with wide eyes. What was he saying, was he trying to tell me something important? Why did I want him to kiss me again? Was I falling for the boy I knew for so long? The boy who knew everything about me?
"What are you trying to say?" I asked confused.
He bent down again and kissed me again, this time more gently and only for a moment. When he looked at me again, he said, "What I'm trying to say is that I love you. I have for a long time now."
Then it hit me. Getting lost in the sea of never ending blue, I knew what that emotion was. It was love. That emotion I saw every time he looked at me was love. I started to cry again.
Roxas looked at me with a downcast gaze. He began to back away.
"No," I said breathlessly, pushing off the wall.
Roxas turned around only to be tackled by me. This time, I was the one to kiss him. I felt everything and more when I kissed him again.
Satisfied, I pulled back and whispered, "I love you too. I have I just didn't realize it."
Roxas smiled and pulled me into one more kiss. The sky's pain was no more. This time, when our pain was released, we were replenished with new emotions, the emotions of joy and happiness.
Roxas's mask was off and his true self was shown. I always thought I saw the true Roxas, but I was wrong, some part of him was guarded still, but I was too blind to see it. This time though, I could see it perfectly. That one emotion replaced all the others. I could no longer feel the pain.
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2nd A/N: once again, i hope that you liked the story and I hope that everyone leaves a reivew but no flames please. Anonymous reviews are welcomed as well.
tonksquill1803