Okay If you really like Yaoi, Sandcest and such please don't flame me, I'm not hating you or those stories. I'm a fangirl too, and like Yaoi like the next fangirl, I only wanted to point out how hard it is, sometimes, to find straight romance stories for certain characters (well I don't know about Itachi since I don't look him up... . ). Also how funny this situation would be. BTW I love Kanky-kun, but since he was the character I was looking up when this story poped into my head, he got to be my victim. Mwahahahahahaha! Please don't flame me... T.T

Disclaimer: No, I don't claim to own Naruto, if I did I'd be living in a good house with smexy man servants and maybe Gaara wouldn't have such a sucky childhood...which would ruin said show... (sigh.)

Everything was calm in the village of suna, repairs were still being made from the akatsuki attack and the sun beat down upon all mercilessly...but it was calm and still all the same. The villagers and the nin wandered about doing their normal routine business'. A cry of anguish cut through the air from the Kazikage's tower. People nearby glanced at each other in worry, but made no attempt to enter since most still feared their Kazikage, Gaara, though he no longer had Shukaku inside him. The slight silence that followed the scream was broken by the same voice now screaming "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????!!!!!!!!!!" A few people winced now recognizing that voice as the kazikage's older brother.

10 minutes earlier in the tower...

"Wow, the Internet is more interesting than I thought Temari..." stated an amazed Kankurou as he sat behind the family computer. Temari looked down at her younger seating brother, crossing her arms with a smug look on her face.

"I told you so, you can do lots more research done in less time and-" Temari started her eyes closed. She used her I-am-so-superior-to-you tone of voice but was interrupted by her younger brother.

"Hey Temari-Chan look! Boobies!" Kankurou said excitedly pointing to the screen. Temari stared in anger as her brother had 'accidently' clicked onto a porn site.

"NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES AND YOUR ALREADY LOOKING AT FILTH!!" she shouted angrily as she bashed him on the head and stormed out. "Baka..." she muttered on her way out. Kankurou winced and rubbed his head gingerly.

"Damn, must be that time of the month..." He muttered to himself before checking out a site he heard about from some kids in town. "Hmm Fanfiction eh? Maybe this will give me some entertainment..." he said aloud again...and quickly decided silently that he should stop talking to himself.

It didn't take Kankurou long to find the Naruto section, which he quickly decided to check out his name, with the romance section clicked. 'heh I wonder what sexy kunoichi's they pair me up.' thought the puppet master innocently to himself. Not even bothering to read the summarize he quickly clicked one that had an interesting title. however halfway through the story the poor sand nin started to get uneasy. 'Why am I saying THAT to Gaara...and what Oh...My...God...' and screamed in a high pitch scream that caused everyone outside to freeze.

Kankurou quickly clicked out of the story and this time noticed that the summery warned all readers clearly that this story had sandcest, which the poor fellow had mistaken it for something else entirely. He quickly started scanning the summarize of each and every one of the stories that had him as a character. He sweat dropped noticing that more than of the stories ether made him a perv who craved sibling flesh, or a homosexual... and the guys he was paired up weren't even close to girly looking. His face was frozen and he screamed once more.

His sister found him sobbing near the computer. When he looked up, Temari couldn't contain a surprised gasp. His paint was running, and making it look like his face was melting or something. "W-what's wrong Kanky?" Temari asked worried about her brother's uncharacteristic behavior. She knelt down and tried to put a hand on his shoulder in comfort but he flinched away. Temari wondered if perhaps she hit him to hard this time.

"What's wrong? What's wrong you ask?! Most of the world think I'm ether homosexual, incestuous, or both!" He cried and Temari frowned looking at him.

"Where did you get that idea from?" She asked puzzled. Kankurou didn't reply verbally though he did point at the computer in an accusing fashion. His sister sighed and walked over to the computer and read what was on it with a raised brow.

"Why Temari? Wh-hic-why do people think that way?" he began to hiccup he was so upset. "Well, you play with dolls and wear make up... naturally some may assume it's because...Whoa this one has all three of us!" She replied not even taking her eyes off the screen. Kankurou pouted crossing his arms and glaring at his sister now.

"They're not dolls their action puppets, and it's not makeup it's kabuki paint! Many actors and puppet masters wear it!" He replied indignant. Temari ignored the remark with a wave of her hand and a ya, ya. It actually appeared like she was reading some of this stuff.

"Listen Kankurou, you gotta remember that most fans who write these romance onces are fangirls and fangirls like Yaoi. Accept it as a compliment and get with your life, look you've got some that pair you up with girls, even OC's that are girls..." She replied looking up from the screen and speaking to him in the mothering tone she always does. Kankurou pouted a little more before nodding his head in silent agreement. "Okay..." He murmured though he still couldn't get those images out of his head. "Hey Temari can you find me one of those straight romances to read?" Temari rolled her eyes at her brother and went to work.

Later...

"You know, the Internet isn't half bad at all..." Kankurou stated without looking up from an online computer game. "But you do know those sandcest images are going to scar me for life...So we're going to have to erase that site from the computer's memory just and watch it like a hawk just so Gaara doesn't find it..." Temari silently agreed remembering the time Gaara discovered Deviant Art and found those pictures of him in drag, and shivered at that traumatizing memory.

"Ya...Gaara can live without this site..."

Elsewhere in the Akatsuki lair...

"WHAAAAT??!!! SASUKE?!!!" Screamed a shocked and disturbed Itachi at an amused Deidara, who was online. The missing stone nin chuckled at the twitching and mouth foaming Uchiha. Deidara was of course on the wonderful site Fanfiction, and was looking up different stories to disturb his coworkers. His eyes fell on a chuckling Kisame who was standing nearby and was enjoying the sight of his partner having a seizer. Deidara chuckled lightly at him.

"I wouldn't be laughing so hard... you should see who you get paired up with a lot un..." Kisame's face slowly drained of color.

FIN!

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Heh I can too make a fanfic that doesn't star an Akatsuki member! Take that inner Kobukat!

Inner kobukat: Baka...