When that bastard Keigo suddenly showed unannounced at the doctor's lounge at Ishida's hospital, Kurosaki Ichigo just knew that something REALLY bad is going to happen.
"Ichigooooooo!!! How come you married Kuchiki-san and didn't even invite ME your long time bestfriend??" a whining brown haired man exaggeratedly kneeled hugging the orange haired doctor's feet.
"I was married somewhere else, somewhere you aren't allowed to go, idiot." Ichigo said, trying to ignore a nagging instinct to kick the life out of his former classmate.
"S-somewhere… I.. am.. not … allowed… to … go…??" Ichigo's high school classmate repeated his words, obviously confused.
"YES. Somewhere you aren't allowed to go, baka! Now, do me a favour and shut up before I make you go somewhere you weren't supposed to go yet." The shinigami substitute threatened, his face glowering over the idiot looking Keigo.
Upon hearing this, Keigo suddenly jumped on his feet and accusingly pointed a finger to his strawberry friend "That's a lie!!! Admit it!! You didn't really married Kuchiki-san!! You are just trying to fool me! You knew I like Kuchiki-san too!!! You betrayed me Ichigo!!!"
"I said SHUT UP!!!!" an unexpected upper cut had blown Asano Keigo away from the very pissed Ichigo. Oh damn, Atleast there's nobody here except for me and Ishida. The orange haired shinigami silently thanked Kami for the lack of doctors in the lounge. Had Keigo been fooling like this in front of their colleagues, he will be forced – albeit gladly to put him to 'sleep'. He sighed as he watched Keigo land on Ishida's desk, whom - luckily for him seemed unaffected by his presence in his desk. He was still so engrossed with the laboratory gown he is sewing.
"Y..y..you too!! You married Orihime-chan!! You took away the bountiful valley of Gods away from me!!!" he said crying as if blaming the quincy for a very serious crime, - which was a very stupid move for him, for he obviously caught the attention of the black haired doctor.
"Nobody had ever talked about my wife that way in front of me that had actually lived to see the morning." Ishida Uruuyu said in gritted teeth, looking dangerously at the man lying on his desk.
Keigo maybe an idiot, but he knows when a guy is about to commit the unpardonable sin of murder or not. So upon seeing Ishida's unsmiling face, and Ichigo's deadly glare, he has concluded that he doesn't want to become a live specimen for Karakura's renowned doctors.
"I..err…oh.. I'd love to stay and have a chit chat with you guys .. but.. err.. It's late, Mizuro's hooking me up with a hooker.. I mean.. a friend! Err.. bye bye?" with that, the brown haired man sprinted to the nearest door in just a few seconds.
"Err.. Ishida, what exactly are you doing..?" Ichigo was fast to ask his colleague upon seeing him draw his quincy bracelet.
"Do you really think I'm going to let that idiot get away with his stupid remarks about my WIFE…?" Ishida said in an emotionless tone.
"Err.. I.. really think we should be going to that orientation with the med praticumers.. don't you think so?... Ishida..?" Keigo may really be a big perverted baka, but surely, he doesn't want Ishida to waste his effort and some spirit particles on him, besides, Keigo is just being.. well.. Keigo.
For a moment, Ishida seemed to have considered changing into his quincy form, but as if reading Kurosaki's thoughts about Keigo's idiocy, he managed to let out a deep sigh and put away his quincy gadets.
"Fine. But that bastard should be banned from the hospital premises, or you will be performing konsoh on him in no time." With that, he left the doctor's lounge.
Kurosaki Ichigo stifled an amused laughter as he followed Karakura Hospital's Head Doctor. Keigo had really hit a nerve.
Meanwhile, Keigo Asano hadn't exactly left the hospital premises. Because of too much panic, he lost his way out and accidentally entered the hospital kitchen. With his oh-so-evil-but-stupid-mind at work, he have decided to get even to his 'former friends' who have not only taken away the two girls that he has been fantasizing all his high school life but also have threatened him with his life.
Those two! After betraying me and robbing the two most gorgeous goddesses on Earth, they have the guts to threaten my life! They didn't even invite me in their weddings – and they call me their friend..?? Now we'll see.. He thought as he reached something inside his backpack.
Oh my precious Kuchiki-san, Orihime-chan… this one is for the two of you - and for those two traitors who have won your hearts in the end!!! He dramatically muttered as he poured the contents in the hospital's water dispenser.
He was victoriously walking towards the door when it suddenly opened, exposing a big nasty-looking nurse who was obviously not pleased with Keigo's presence in the kitchen.
Needless to say, Keigo was kicked out of the hospital – with bruises and a broken rib.
Ishida Orihime was excitedly blabbering about her new recipe over the phone when Kurosaki Rukia suddenly fell quiet.
"Rukia-san, did you… ?"
"Y-Yes Orihime. I felt their reiatsu too.."
"That is strange.. Uruuyu only have that kind of reiatsu when..." the brown haired wife of the last quincy confusedly said.
"Orihime, I'm sorry but I have to go… I'll get back to you later". Alarmed, the raven haired shinigami had hung up the phone before her friend could even reply.
"Go on Rukia, I'll take care of the kids" Kurosaki Isshin said, popping from behind the door.
"Thanks Pops." The former Kuchiki grimly said, as she swallows her pill.
Kurosaki Ichigo and Uruuyu Ishida felt so weird yet so light. They have been feeling rather breezy for the past half an hour, it was as if they are having a really great dream with young sexy college girls dancing around them, half naked in their hospital uniform. That – coupled with some tingling sensation of being touched everywhere and being nuzzled again and again by some giggling girls.
Oh God, Why would I be dreaming in the middle of work..? The black haired quincy's brain have been faltering, rapid thoughts has been crossing his mind vigorously.
Oh yeah. This feels so good. Hey.. that med student looked like Rukia.. Oh.. she has Rukia's eyes.. and cheeks.. and body… Oh shit! Kurosaki Ichigo also choked as he saw his wife in her shinigami uniform walking unsmilingly to him.
"O-..Ori-hi-me..?" Ichigo turned his head to see Ishida wearing the same shit-im-so-dead expression he has on his face.
The room felt awfully cold. With the med students running in the corner of the hospital's auditorium obviously scared of the sudden change in the atmosphere.
"R..Rukia… honey.. I.."
"Spell 49! Binding Light!" Rukia loudly incanted. Totally ignoring the horror in the med students faces.
"So.. Is this the kind of practicum program you have for college students ne, Uruuyu-kun?" Mrs Ishida asked, her face void of any emotion, her voice, dangerously sweet.
The two doctors found themselves paralyzed seating behind each other on the centre of the room.
"O..Orihime.. I.. I can.. explain.." Ishida tried to plead to his grim faced wife.
"Oh no, Uruuyu-kun.. Everything will be alright.." Orihime replied in a fake sweet voice. "Rukia-chan and I are gonna make things alright.. Won't we Rukia-chan?" she continued, glancing at her raven haired friend.
"But ofcourse, Orihime.. but ofcourse.." Rukia smiled – the kind of smile that makes Ichigo's heart palpitate with fear.
"Tsubaki!" a petal zoomed out of Mrs Ishida's hairpin.
"Oh shit! Ishida!!! Do something!!! She's your wife damnit!!" Ichigo shouted to the stiffened quincy.
"Oh don't worry honey, I have something for you too."
"Ichigo!! Your wife is looking wickedly at me..!!!" now, It's Ishida's turn to panic.
"Ban-kai"
"Your wife learned ban-kai?" the quincy blurted on top of his lungs, his face, as white as Rukia's dress and zanpakuto.
"I..B-ban-kai..?" Ichigo managed to mutter at he stared open-mouthed at his wife's white form.
Rukia just smiled.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
"Oh, that scream… would be your son" Kurosaki Isshin chuckled as he lifted his glass of Vodka.
"I cannot believe you trained your daughter-in-law to achieve ban-kai without your son ever knowing it" The grayish-bluish haired man replied as touched his eye glasses.
"What can I say? I'm a good father-in-law, besides, it is not my fault that he cannot hide his reiatsu when he is being kinky.. same goes with your son." the man with the beard said winking at his old friend.
Ishida Ryuken smirked at his remark. Yes, reiatsu. How many times have he, Isshin and Kisuke had been in trouble because of their weird reiatsu everytime they are doing something really kinky and obscene. Too bad for their sons who have not only inherited this specific trait but for having sharp – and not to mention – powerful wives who would always know how to give a punishing blow to their dim-witted husbands.
"Here's to our stupid sons and to our lovely and formidable daughters-in-law" Isshin offered a toast.
"Cheers" Ryuken smiled as he took a sip of his vodka.
Well.. I hope you liked it.. XD
I really enjoyed writing this one.. especially imagining Rukia and Orihime teaming up versus their poor husbands (giggles).
Oh, and that "thing" Keigo put in their water dispenser?.. its Vodka. Three bottles of Vodka. grins -and the big-nasty nurse who busted Keigo had unfortunately used the Vodka-infested water to make a juice for Ichigo, Ishida and the med students.