Thank you for the reviews and don't worry SophieB. I love long reviews.

The Dark Past: Confusing Times

by: Taran

Chapter 11: Conversations

Harry blinked, unsure if this was just another memory or if this was more along the lines of what Voldemort had done with his diary. Was this Pensieve just a trap, like that dairy had been, to lure someone in it and suck their life force out so Evan could have a body?

Harry swallowed, pinching himself. As he got up, he felt solid.

Evan watched him, amusement almost flickering across his hard face. "Don't worry kid, this is just a memory of me."

Harry stepped backwards, wiping his sweaty palms on his robe. "How?"

"Voldemort was always boasting to some of us about how he had enchanted his dairy with the essence, or whatever it is called, of his sixteen-year-old self so I got an idea and did the same with my Pensieve. Interesting effect."

Harry felt cold. "Is my life being drained out of me while you get stronger?"

Evan smiled a bit. "No, Potty, I have no intention of joining the land of the living. After I did this I got myself good and killed. Mad-Eye Moody was the one I picked to bring me down. Did that happen?"

"I don't know," Harry answered, feeling slightly better but still wondering why Evan had done this. "I don't know how you died."

"Oh, well. So," Evan looked at him oddly, "how did Voldemort come back from the dead?"

Harry was shocked. "How did you know he died? And how did you know he was back? You died before he did."

Evan slid up his sleeve to show off the vivid red Dark Mark. "While I was in here this tattoo disappeared, which meant, I thought, that Voldemort was dead. But now it's back, which means he's alive again. How?"

"He was after me for some reason..."

"Yeah, I know," Evan said. "He started going after you two weeks before I made this Pensieve." Harry remembered that Sirius had mentioned, at least he thought it was him, that Pettigrew had been feeding Voldemort information about his parents a year before he fell and Evan would have still been around then, barely. "Don't know why he wanted to kill an infant though," Evan finished, looking at him as if trying to determine why Voldemort would have been after him.

Harry shrugged. "No one has told me either." He explained to Evan how he had brought Voldemort down that first time and how he was famous for it now.

Evan rolled his eyes. "That idiot. He should have known the killing curse would have backfired on him if Lily had died saving your life. Which," he looked at Harry, "is odd. Why didn't he just kill Lily right out? Why didn't he want to kill her? He enjoys killing people. That makes no sense."

Harry shrugged. "Why did you get yourself killed?" he asked suddenly.

Evan's face got harder and his hands clenched. "What choice did I have? All three of us, me, Florence, and Severus, realized we were on the wrong side. Voldemort's one tricky....." he was off using language that Harry had never heard before. "Voldemort recruited teenagers, using honeyed lies to draw them in and then he starts to tell them a little more about what he was really about, a little at a time so they wouldn't bolt, and before they knew it, they were in too deep to get out. He purposely picked teenagers that had no where to go, no one to turn to so when they did realize they were on the wrong side they had no choice but to stay."

"Severus went back to Dumbledore," Harry said.

Evan's face got dark. "He didn't go to Dumbledore. That old fool went to him. I'm sure he made Severus believe he actually cared about him."

"He does," Harry defended Dumbledore.

Evan snorted. "Sure he does. Then why didn't he try to save him before he become a Death Eater? I'll tell you why," Evan snarled. "He needed a spy and let Severus go over, knowing what Sev would find and knowing he would be disgusted with it so he could use him! I'm sure Severus was flattered by the attention he finally got from the great man but it was just to use him! Dumbledore didn't care! Evan thundered.

"That's not true," Harry said, desperately hoping it wasn't.

"Believe what you want," Evan said coldly, his eyes as hard and empty as Severus's were. "I'm sure it will make you sleep easier at nights."

Harry studied Evan's cruel face and realized that Evan believed what he said. But Harry didn't.

"He trusts Severus. He's even made him the Potions Master at Hogwarts and the Head of Slytherin House," Harry told him, trying to change Evan's view of Dumbledore.

Evan's eyes widened. "He made an ex-Death Eater Head of Slytherin House?"

Harry nodded his head, watching and waiting as Evan thought over this new information.

"Smart move," Evan finally said, with grudging respect.

Harry had never thought about it overly much. "What do you mean 'smart move'"?

"Think about it. Now that Voldemort is back; how, you still haven't told me, most of his recruits will come from Slytherin, like they did last time, but this time, those kids will have someone to run to when they realize what fools they've been to believe Voldemort. And they won't feel guilty about it since Severus also fell into Voldemort's trap." Evan continued to look thoughtful. "Maybe I've been wrong about Dumbledore."

Harry nodded his head emphatically. "He cares, he always did. He just didn't know how to handle it. He's only one man, after all."

Evan sighed. "I know."

"Were you alive when Florence died?" Harry wondered.

Evan winced. "Yeah. She got herself killed too."

"Why?" Harry demanded to know.

"She didn't feel she had a choice. Like me. I was too bloodthirsty to ever join the good side and Florence hated the Ministry too much to ever join the side they were on. But she knew she was on the wrong side. And we knew Severus was a spy for Dumbledore."

"You both knew that?" Harry interrupted. "You didn't turn him in?"

Evan looked at him. "Neither I nor Florence had much loyalty to Voldemort, Potty. He was just an end to a means. I wanted to kill and he let me. Florence wanted to pay all the people back that had ever hurt her and Voldemort let her. Severus was just with Voldemort to see if he would protect the Dark Forest people when he was in power. Though we had joined it for that reason too, we enjoyed it too much to leave. Sev became a spy when he realized Voldemort was full of crap, thanks to Dumbledore going after him, and me and Florence protected him until we realized it was killing him to see how many people we were murdering. He was about to turn us in to Dumbledore; he didn't want to, but he felt he had no choice. And that's when we both decided to get ourselves killed so he would be spared the horror of feeling guilty for our deaths."

Harry felt tears spring to his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Evan smiled, one that finally softened his face. "Thanks, Potty. We really messed up our lives, didn't we?"

Harry straightened up, feeling angry. "It didn't look like you three had much choice. By the way, has Narcissa ever..."

Evan shook his head. "Not before I made this memory of me. At school she acted like she didn't even know Severus. It killed him to see her, I think that was one reason why he was after your father and Black so much. He was just trying to forget about the pain."

"Black was an idiot!" Harry said savagely.

Evan laughed. "Whoa, there boy. Black was a kid, Potty. A hothead, but a kid still. He didn't know what was wrong with Severus. He was reacting to how mean Severus got, and trust me, Severus got mean. I spared you those parts."

"Spared me?" Harry asked.

"I control this Pensieve, Potty. I show the viewer what I want them to see and nothing more."

"Sev was mean, then."

Evan nodded his head. "He got very mean, Potty. I don't think he realized what he was saying half the time but if I had been in Black's shoes, I think I would have done the same thing. It's hard to feel sorry for someone when they're being cruel to you on a daily basis."

Harry understood that. It had been hard to like Severus as a teacher, despite it being obvious he must not have had an easy life.

"Why didn't anyone notice something was wrong with him?" Harry asked, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly. "He changed so drastically."

"Everyone always thought the worse of Sev because of the way he looked and his interests. When he started to act mean and evil everyone just decided that was the way he had always been and that hurt him. Nobody cared to find out what was wrong. It didn't help that near the end of sixth year your father lost his parents and everyone showered him with love and attention for it. Severus's hate for your dad skyrocketed then. Don't blame him, though. It was murder for him, listening to everyone talk about how evil the Dark Forest people had been and how they had all deserved to die while watching how much everyone loved and adored Potty and felt so sorry for him for his loss."

Harry swallowed.

"Severus said some pretty cruel things to your dad about his loss. Black and him often got into bloody fist fights over it, too. I usually had to pull Sev off him. Black was no match for him, I'm afraid."

Harry looked away. What a mess. He couldn't blame Black and his dad but he also couldn't blame Severus. Where had the adults been in all this?

"Why didn't an adult notice?" Harry demanded.

Evan laughed. "Mayor hated our guts and all the other Heads of Houses had their own kids to worry about. And Dumbledore was worrying about whoever it was that Voldemort was after that week. There wasn't one to notice."

Harry stuffed his hands into his pockets, getting angry. What would happen to him if his life got flipped out from under him somehow? Would anyone care? Would anyone notice? Or would they just shrug their shoulders and walk away like they had for Severus?

"I guess I had better never turn bad or I won't have any friends left. They'll all turn against me."

"I doubt it. You're Potty's son and like you said, you're famous. Everyone would try to save you, while letting other kids burn." Evan's face got hard again. "Don't ever turn bad, because if you do, you will be sacrificing other kids lives for your own."

Harry nodded his head. "I won't. I'll stay good. Besides, I hate Voldemort, he murdered my family...." Harry's voice trailed off as a horrible thought entered his head. Severus was on the side that had murdered his family, and his two best friends. "No wonder why he hates us all," Harry muttered.

"Yeah," Evan agreed. "It's got to be torture for him, even though he knows he's doing what is right. At least I guess it's the right thing."

"He's not on the Ministry's side now," Harry said. "He's on Dumbledore's. Fudge, the Minister of Magic, is against Dumbledore, kind of. Fudge doesn't believe that Voldemort is back. And Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater, has Fudge in his pocket."

Evan's laugh was horrible. "Narcissa's married to a Death Eater?! Just great. Does Severus know?"

Harry nodded his head, letting the tears fall on his cheeks. "Yeah. I told him. I didn't know they were related. It happened in the hospital..." and Harry explained everything else to Evan. About the Stone, Lockhart and the diary, and Lupin, Pettigrew, and Barty Crouch Jr., the Longbottoms, and then Voldemort's rebirth.

Evan nodded his head, listening to it all.

"Why is Sev so obsessed with getting the Order of Merlin?" Harry asked, when he was done.

"Probably to ease his guilt, Potty. He blames himself for the murders that me and Florence did. Severus never killed anyone for Voldemort. His first and last kill was during that Dark Forest Raid."

"But the murders you two did weren't his fault!" Harry exploded.

"I got my first kill in the Dark Forest and I was there on his invitation, he blames himself for what happened to me, and Florence, he just feels horrible about. He got a front row seat in watching her go insane and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it."

"She went insane?" Harry asked, feeling his spine tingle.

Evan nodded. "Mostly. He tried helping her, but there was nothing he could do. Everything was against them. Florence retained enough sanity to realize she was going insane and that's also why she got herself killed. She knew it was killing him to have to watch it happen. She loved him and protected him the best she could in life. Several Death Eaters died at her hands because she believed they were threats to him, not just people on your side."

"I got to help him!" Harry said, suddenly.

Evan shook his head. "There is nothing you can do."

Harry caught his strange inflection on the word 'you.' "Who then?" Harry demanded.

"His kids," Evan said.

Harry's mouth dropped. "He has kids?! He got married to Florence then?"

"Yeah and they had two of them," Evan said. "I'm hoping they're still alive."

Harry waited for Evan to explain this to him.

"After Florence died, Severus wanted his kids to be as far away from England as he could get them. He was terrified that the Ministry would kill them because he was a Death Eater or that Voldemort would kill them because he was a spy. He didn't trust Dumbledore enough to hand his kids to him, Dumbledore had Potty to protect after all and no one was ever more important to anyone than Potty, and Severus didn't dare go to Melusine and tell her that he was working against Voldemort. Scared of her, too."

"What did he do with them, then?" Harry asked, feeling sick.

"That," Evan sighed, "is the question. He can't remember. He obliterated his memory of what he did with them so no one, no matter what they did to him, would ever know either."

"Can't it be reversed?" Harry asked, horrified.

Evan winked, drawing out a book, the same book that Severus had given Evan for Christmas during their sixth year. "You can't reverse it but if a remembrance spell is done beforehand on the person who is about to obliterate their memory the information can be gotten from them while they are in a trance. I did the spell on Sev because I knew what he was about to do. The instructions for doing the spell to get the information is in this book." Evan handed Harry the book. It was solid, real. "After I made this Pensieve, I obliterated my own memory so I wouldn't remember doing the spell on Severus or making this Pensieve for that matter. There was no way I was going to be responsible for spilling that kind of information to someone accidently, just in case my death plan didn't work. I wanted this Pensieve to get into Severus's hands but that idiot Malfoy got a hold of it. Didn't realize how until you told me he was a Death Eater. Moronic imbecile."

Harry agreed with that. "Has Malfoy ever been in here?"

Evan grinned wickedly. "Once. I showed him a lovely image of me hunting down a deer and killing it and devouring it with my bare hands. He hasn't been back since. He, like everyone else, figured I was an idiot since I was a half-troll and nothing useful could be garnered from this Pensieve. I thought he was in here for the Ministry. Next time he's in here I shall give him some more lovely views of me murdering things."

"Why did you show me all these things?" Harry asked, slightly confused.

Evan shrugged. "You're the first person in it besides him, I'm getting desperate and once I saw that you really cared for Severus I decided to let you know about his kids. You've got to find them. Don't tell him until you know what happened to them. If they are dead don't tell him anything. Rather have him wondering if they are alive then knowing they are dead."

Harry nodded his head, slipping the book under his cloak. "I won't let you down. And if Dumbledore gets this Pensieve like he's supposed to you can show him all this, too."

Evan shook his head. "No, if Severus hasn't told Dumbledore about his life I'm not going to either. I only let you know because I'm desperate."

Harry, feeling proud that he had been chosen by Evan, took a deep breath. "I'll find his kids for him and I'll try to be friends with him too," he assured the man as he pulled the invisibility cloak over his head and made sure he was covered all the way with it.

Evan, for the first time, had tears in his eyes. "Thank you."

Harry was pulled out of the Pensieve and landed on the soft carpet of the Weasley's bedroom floor. He scrambled out from under the bed and noted that the sun was streaming in through the windows and the Weasleys were out of bed. Harry hoped his absence hadn't been noted yet.

"HOW DARE YOU!" screamed an all-too-familiar voice. Lucius Malfoy.

Malfoy blasted the bedroom door down while Harry cringed into a corner, not wanting anyone to bump into him. Malfoy eyed the bed, not seeing the Pensieve anywhere else, and blasted the bed apart.

Fudge came in behind him, wringing his hands and looking red-faced. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley fought their way into their bedroom and glared at Malfoy.

Malfoy grabbed the Pensieve and tapped it with his wand, sending it back home, Harry guessed.

"You shouldn't have raided his Manor," Fudge said, looking severely at Mr. Weasley. "I told you to leave him alone."

Mr. Weasley's ears went red. "I'm sorry," he spluttered. Harry winced in sympathy, Mr. Weasley probably had raided it on Dumbledore's orders but couldn't tell Fudge that.

Fudge, for all his blustering, guessed it. "And next time Dumbledore gives you an order, I would suggest you coming to me first!" he said angrily.

Malfoy sneered around the bedroom, noticing for the first time, Harry guessed, how it looked. "Reminds me of my house-elf's quarters," he smiled.

Mrs. Weasley went red in the face. "If you two are through, I would appreciate it if you would leave our home."

"Certainly," Malfoy said, looking at her with disgust. "Who knows what kind of germs and little parasites I've managed to pick up in this hovel? I may have to bathe at least ten times to rid myself of all this filth."

Harry held himself back from jumping at Malfoy, fortunately so did Mr. Weasley, though his face was now purple.

"GET OUT!" Mr. Weasley thundered.

Malfoy sneered at him, and with Fudge following behind like a loyal little dog, they left. As soon as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had gone, Harry hurried up to Ron's bedroom and slipped inside. Ron was just beginning to stir from the noise. Harry slipped off the cloak and stuffed it into his trunk, along with the book, and then jumped into bed.

Several seconds later, Ron's voice spoke up. "Oi, Harry," he said, sleepily, "what's that noise?"

Harry was about to tell him when he realized he wasn't supposed to know. "Don't know," Harry lied, making his voice sound thick with sleep, "what did you wake me up for?"

"Sorry," Ron mumbled, turning over and going back to bed.

Harry rolled over, determined to get Severus's kids back for him. Harry just hoped that they were still alive. They had to be, they just had to be!

To be continued in: Phoenix Rising.